Going Natural When "Older"?

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I've seen recently and in a lot of threads in the past where presently relaxed ladies say something like "Well, I'm not going natural now, but I might when I get in my 50s" or "I'm going to keep my hair relaxed and transition when I'm older".

I'm really curious as to why this is. Is it because people would feel more comfortable sporting a TWA when older?I know most of the TWAs I see are on ladies 40-60. Or is there another reason?

I'd be very interested in people's opinion on this.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Anyone?

 

[ellebelle88]

Hey there! I discovered this forum when I was around 16 or 17. Although I joined with the intent of growing long, relaxed hair, I always knew that eventually I would try going natural...which is why I would say, "I'm going to go natural when I'm older."

However, older for me didn't mean 50s at all! It meant around mid-20s age 25 at the latest! Now that I am 21 I have realized that I am probably going to go natural next year, as soon as I graduate from college. I have tried to transition before but it was a hassle for me so I think I may end up doing the big chop and starting from there. And for some reason, I feel better doing it once I'm out of undergrad.

I think there are a lot of people who want to try going natural on here, but the transition process is a pain in the arse plus they dont think they will look right with a TWA. And I totally understand that point. But I know that when I get 50, I want to have a head full of shoulder length curls at least, not have been forced to go natural because a relaxer has me almost going bald! :burning:

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

That phrase is all too common when people speak of going natural. I heard this all the time growing up, and still hear it now from time to time.

What people mean by that is "I'll go natural when I reach a point in my life where I'm no longer concerned with looking sexy beautiful and attractive" what they're really saying is "I'll go natural when I let myself go" because many still equate wearing one's natural texture out for the world to see with being unkempt and not beautiful. It's thinly veiled ignorance in my experience.

*the way ljbee meant it would be the exception of course*

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I've heard alot of the 40+ Y.O. Women say:

That their Hormones are all over the place and some even said they started having problems with relaxers not taking, hair thinning as their hormones were flucuating. Which lead to their desire to stop relaxing.


IA it's a very Generalized Statement, because alot of women choose to remain relaxed.

But Menopause and Perimenopasusal Symptoms are "real" and can affect Women in a Lot of Different Ways.

 

[Jazala]

As you get older, your hair will get thinner as a part of the aging process. Relaxed hair looks thinner than natural hair so it makes sense to transition to natural when you get older if you want the appearance of thicker hair.

 

[Odd One]

I want to be natural when I get older because natural hair makes me look younger....

 

[ThickHair]

I honestly think it is something to say. You either want to be natural or you don't There is not age limit on being natural. I just wish folks would just say, it isn't for them. What is the big friggin deal?

13 years ago I woke up early one Friday morning and said I no longer want relaxed hair and my mid back, thick hair was gone by 6p that afternoon. There is no # year plan to be natural.

I have not heard one natural say I am going to relax with I get old. So give me a break with this, I am going natural when I get older". If you are going to do something with your hair, just do it.

 

[FlowerHair]

That phrase is all too common when people speak of going natural. I heard this all the time growing up, and still hear it now from time to time.

What people mean by that is "I'll go natural when I reach a point in my life where I'm no longer concerned with looking sexy beautiful and attractive" what they're really saying is "I'll go natural when I let myself go" because many still equate wearing one's natural texture out for the world to see with being unkempt and not beautiful. It's thinly veiled ignorance in my experience.

*the way ljbee meant it would be the exception of course*

That's how I interpret it too

 

[Filmatic]

Before I was natural I said it because I really didn't want to give up being relaxed. It was not that relaxed hair was more beautiful.

I just didn't know what the heck I would do with natural hair. I know I needed to learn how to take care of it. I also knew I didn't want to be relaxing my hair all my life. It never worked more than 2 weeks anyway.

It's sort of like I was afraid of the unknown.

 

[xcuzememiss]

I simpl wouldn't want the hassle of getting my hair relaxed at 40 or even 50. Plus when you get older your hair gets thinner. Who wants thin looking relaxed hair. Well I should say I don't want thin relaxed hair.

 

[Tene]

I honestly think it is something to say. You either want to be natural or you don't There is not age limit on being natural. I just wish folks would just say, it isn't for them. What is the big friggin deal?

13 years ago I woke up early one Friday morning and said I no longer want relaxed hair and my mid back, thick hair was gone by 6p that afternoon. There is no # year plan to be natural.

I have not heard one natural say I am going to relax with I get old. So give me a break with this, I am going natural when I get older". If you are going to do something with your hair, just do it.

I agree with this, enough with the excuses already. If you prefer relaxed hair then prefer relaxed hair and vice versa.

 

[ThickHair]

Plus when you get older your hair gets thinner. Who wants thin looking relaxed hair.

Well um, maybe in your family, but in my family all the elders have kept their head full of thick hair. That is a very broad generalization. I have seen many elders with long thick hair, relaxed and natural.

 

[jamaraa]

My guess is that it partly has to do w/ overall acceptance. People have a tendency to be concerned about how their looks will affect their finding a mate and or their job situation. Perhaps they think it will be more easy after they're are more secure in certain concerete ways than not.

 

[tocktick]

That phrase is all too common when people speak of going natural. I heard this all the time growing up, and still hear it now from time to time.

What people mean by that is "I'll go natural when I reach a point in my life where I'm no longer concerned with looking sexy beautiful and attractive" what they're really saying is "I'll go natural when I let myself go" because many still equate wearing one's natural texture out for the world to see with being unkempt and not beautiful. It's thinly veiled ignorance in my experience.

*the way ljbee meant it would be the exception of course*

Thank you for saving me the keystrokes. I'm starting to believe for quite a few people they are trying to "preserve their sexy" in their prime years look. It's clear there is a strong association between natural hair and being old or seen as less sexy. So alas, natural just doesn't factor into the aforementioned plan . With that said, I believe when you know how to do the right styles natural doesn't have to age you or make you look 16. I believe some people are more willing to put in the work with less curly/straight hair in this regard.

 

[ceebee3]

I said that I would probably go natural again when I was around 40 or 50. Now I don't know.

I'm really considering transitioning. I know I don't want to be relaxed when I'm older, but right now it's not a problem.

I don't hate my natural hair, I was natural for many years before I relaxed and I know what my hair texture is like.

If I hadn't relaxed this last time I would have definetly went natural, now I feel like it's giving up all the progress I've made, so I'm on the fence.

I just learned how to care for relaxed hair and I want to see how well I progress as a relaxed head before I do a big chop or transition.

Not all relaxed heads hate their natural hair.

 

[ThickHair]

I simpl wouldn't want the hassle of getting my hair relaxed at 40 or even 50. Plus when you get older your hair gets thinner. Who wants thin looking relaxed hair. Well I should say I don't want thin relaxed hair.

Also, hair may have thinned because of relaxers in SOME cases.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

That phrase is all too common when people speak of going natural. I heard this all the time growing up, and still hear it now from time to time.

What people mean by that is "I'll go natural when I reach a point in my life where I'm no longer concerned with looking sexy beautiful and attractive" what they're really saying is "I'll go natural when I let myself go" because many still equate wearing one's natural texture out for the world to see with being unkempt and not beautiful. It's thinly veiled ignorance in my experience.

*the way ljbee meant it would be the exception of course*

I can definitly see this in a lot of the past posts I've read. Kind of like saying you'll get the old moo-moo dresses out once you're tired of wearing a skirt and heels.

I never thought about thinning hair being a reason.

I guess I just don't see waiting all that time only to get to your middle age to do it if you want to do it. I would just be thinking back to all of your younger years when you could've been enjoying it all along. But I guess that's just me.

 

[msa]

You know what doesn't make sense to me?

That folks say they'll go natural when they're older because they don't want the hassle of relaxing anymore.

And every time I see it I'm thinking...so after 30-40 years of not seeing your natural hair you think it's going to be easy to learn how to take care of it all of a sudden? And I have a feeling those same people will go right back to relaxing when they can't get their hair to do what they want it to do.

 

[keepithealthy]

My guess is that it partly has to do w/ overall acceptance. People have a tendency to be concerned about how their looks will affect their finding a mate and or their job situation. Perhaps they think it will be more easy after they're are more secure in certain concerete ways than not.

I agree. I think sometimes it's a cop out. imo

 

[ceebee3]

You know what doesn't make sense to me?

That folks say they'll go natural when they're older because they don't want the hassle of relaxing anymore.

And every time I see it I'm thinking...so after 30-40 years of not seeing your natural hair you think it's going to be easy to learn how to take care of it all of a sudden? And I have a feeling those same people will go right back to relaxing when they can't get their hair to do what they want it to do.

Well this is another reason I don't think I will wait as long as I said I would. I've only been relaxed for the last 2 years before that it was off an on, so I have not had a relaxer most of my life.

However, I never really took care of my natural hair it was always at shoulder length.

I am very curious to see what waist length relaxed hair would look like on me before starting over to grow waist length natural hair.

It's not more than that.

 

[India*32]

I wanted a shorter hairstyle for when I was older, crop or gamine hairstyle. But, as time moved on the relaxer wasn't working. My edges would not get straight. My nape was thinning and stayed nappy, which hurts to comb out. Along with coloring the gray edges, which is harsh when used with a relaxer. Left me with dryed out hair. On top of that, the relaxer would grow out before 6 weeks, pre LHCF days. It wasn't until I found this forum and discovered, I can achieve straight hair styles with blow drying and flat ironing. More importantly, I saw a few beautiful long hair girls who didn't relax, in particularly, Rachel from SalonCabelo's. I knew it was time. I'm happy, but it's still a challenge until I achieve some lenght.

India

 

[MsEllie]

Hi everyone, I never said I would go natural when I was older. I am one of the older women who natural just basically happened too because I was leaving the care of my hair to a hair dresser and the perms/relaxers were not doing good on my hair (I didn't have a clue how to take care of it) even though I was going to the hair dresser every two weeks and sometimes once a week when there was breakage.

I switched hair dressers and the last one was into weaves and natural hair... so she weaved me up for two years straight and slowly cut the relaxer out of my hair, thus making me natural... but then another problem (err ummm...I didn't know how to take care of natural hair,,style or anything... so I'd wear weaves and/or braids) never deep conditioned my hair but did wash every two weeks but it was dryer than heck.

Oh yes and I am one of those naturally thin/fine haired women even when I was a child..I hated dealing with my hair... well anyways I started researching how to get some of the dryness out of my hair and ran across this board and I've been wearing my own hair OUT since January 31, 2009 the longest I ever remember since I have been charged with taking care of my own hair. So I'm natural and loving it... I haven't put heat on it for 4 months now and its loving me for it.. I wear it braid outs mostly, some buns. But its done a 360 degree turn around since this board. I do have the issues with the menopausal things such as hot flashes which is why no heat - I can straighten it and go to sleep wake up in the morning and it would be looking just liked I just washed it so again I went natural with the help of a hair dresser and I'm staying that way - I am thinking I will press it out in December... but I love my natural hair just natural.

PS: I'm 52 now - the years are flying by

 

[jamaraa]

I agree. I think sometimes it's a cop out. imo

Dunno if that's a cop out. There's a realistic fear about the social conquences involving natural hair that some have. Whether it's right or wrong, it's a concern for some people (obviously not myself and others here). Tho I don't share these concerns, I won't write them off as being merely excuses. That's far too simplstic and self-serving, IMHO.

 

[keepithealthy]

Dunno if that's a cop out. There's a realistic fear about the social conquences involving natural hair that some have. Whether it's right or wrong, it's a concern for some people (obviously not myself and others here). Tho I don't share these concerns, I won't write them off as being merely excuses. That's far too simplstic and self-serving, IMHO.

yeah I guess your right..... gotta be a bit slower to type...It wasn't that easy for me to natural either but I used to say similar things and for me it was my way of not actually doing it...but it is a hard decision...so I shouldn't be so flippant. Thanks for pointing that out.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

My guess is that it partly has to do w/ overall acceptance. People have a tendency to be concerned about how their looks will affect their finding a mate and or their job situation. Perhaps they think it will be more easy after they're are more secure in certain concerete ways than not.

I agree. I think sometimesit's a cop out. imo

Dunno if that's a cop out. There's a realistic fear about the social conquences involving natural hair that some have. Whether it's right or wrong, it's a concern for some people (obviously not myself and others here). Tho I don't share these concerns, I won't write them off as being merely excuses. That's far too simplstic and self-serving, IMHO.

I second the motion that its a cop-out. I've worked for years in Corporate America as a Realtor at my Real Estate Firm in Midtown with an Angela Davis sized fro, twists, twist-outs, fro, straw sets and straightened here and there and everyone simply oooh'd and ahhhed over my hair and kept it movin. I got my Real Estate license when I was 19 and was hired before I even graduated from the licensing course. I haven't had any issues with men either, the only difference is thugs no longer come up to me(not losin any sleep over that!) and I seem to have more of a crossover appeal now because I'm attracting a much wider range of races then ever before.

I think it boils down to decision of weather you live your life to make other people feel comfortable, to fit into the category of average, or if you're comfortable being the exception to the rule and standing apart from the crowd. I think our experiences being natural have everything to do with the energy we put out there and how we carry ourselves and very little to do with having coily hair.

That being said, I don't know what its like to be a natural in the South and I know that there is a real reigonal difference.

 

[keepithealthy]

This is soooo off the subject but....

I seem to have more of a crossover appeal now because I'm attracting a much wider range of races then ever before.

lol that's so true I'm attracting all kind of guys now. I just recently had an indian guy pull me to the side and say not to be offensive but I think you look so sexy with your hair like that. and theres a Korean guy checking me out here on campus lol it's kinda different but that's okay with me lol

 

[it_comes_naturally]

Well um, maybe in your family, but in my family all the elders have kept their head full of thick hair. That is a very broad generalization. I have seen many elders with long thick hair, relaxed and natural.

I agree with you. My mom is in her 50's and she has thick relaxed hair that is APL. It was BSL, but I think her stylist is scissor happy.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

This is soooo off the subject but....



lol that's so true I'm attracting all kind of guys now. I just recently had an indian guy pull me to the side and say not to be offensive but I think you look so sexy with your hair like that. and theres a Korean guy checking me out here on campus lol it's kinda different but that's okay with me lol

I know! I get alllll kinds now I love it! I was @ this lounge/club in the city during the summer rockin the HECK outta my twist-outs and the first guy that came up to me with a drink was this blonde haired blue eyed marketing rep guy.....and he was not tryna let me go back to my friends it was fun....then all of a sudden when I walk away from him now all the brothas wanna come thru and "mark their territory" but its been a fun time. I love it

I heard i gotta carry a stick to beat the men off me for when I study abroad in Florence Italy soon I DON'T MIND!

 

[keepithealthy]

I know! I get alllll kinds now I love it! I was @ this lounge/club in the city during the summer rockin the HECK outta my twist-outs and the first guy that came up to me with a drink was this blonde haired blue eyed marketing rep guy.....and he was not tryna let me go back to my friends it was fun....then all of a sudden when I walk away from him now all the brothas wanna come thru and "mark their territory" but its been a fun time. I love it

thats funny! hmmmm Italy ....lol
okay I'll unhijack the thread now lol