Guilt about straightening hair

[jendazzler]

Hi everyone,
Does anyone ever feel like we shouldn't feel as guilty as we do about styling our hair? I have been a lurker for a few months. When I first started my hair journey, I wanted to grow my hair longer just so I could straighten it and wear it out. But now that I am obssessed, i feel really guilty whenever I blowdry my hair and straighten it. I haven't even been to a hair salon since my hair journey, except for the occasional trim, because I am afraid they will ruin my progress. When someone in my neighborhood told me that there was a good hair salon around the corner, I shielded my hair with my hands like it was a newborn baby and politely said No Thank you. Even though I feel guilty, I still want to have fun with my hair. I don't see the point of growing it if I can't have fun with it so I tend to baby my hair more during the cooler months when I don't get dressed up that much anyway. What do you guys think?

 

[TexturedTresses]

Right now I'm trying to cowash and bun. However, when I'm going out I'll rollerset or do a really cute braid out or wash and go. My routine when I first kinda started was wash and set on thursday so I could wear it out and straight on the weekend if I was going out. Then on sunday wash and make iit dry looking kinda jacked up so I wouldn't be able to wear it out lol. I definitely think you can have fun with it.

 

[Tarae]

I never feel guilty about styling my hair. Sure, I want longer, healthier hair. But I also want to wear it out and enjoy it. I've never been big on protective styles because I don't enjoy wearing my hair up and out of sight. It might work for some people, and they have great results, but it is not for me.

Are you natural? I noticed that naturals feel "guilty" (or more worried) more than ladies who are relaxed when it comes to styling, especially when it involves heat. I think you have to find a balance that works for you. If you want to wear your hair straight occasionally, then you should. There are healthy ways of doing it. Hope you figure it out. IMO, nobody should feel guilty for wanting to enjoy their hair a bit.

 

[phyl73]

I didn't feel guilty, but the smell of bacon coming from my head as she blow fried my hair caused me to cringe. I don't get it straightened often, but when I do, my SO loves it. It allows him a chance to see my growth, but he knows it's only a matter of time before I go back to my pony and phony puff.

 

[jendazzler]

Thanks Guys. No, I am not natural. I relax my hair 4 times a year. I thought I downloaded a pic for my profile. I will try to download it again.

 

[Casarela]

I understand you ...I dont think wearing braids w/ extension is fun it does give me a break somewhat ...i prefer my hair though BUT im still comfy in extensions. First im somewhat a psycho with my hair. Like I was really scared of heat ...and ended up almost messing up my hair ...and now I really have no pity for myself because im not close to my goal yet. Plus I do know that if I start to try to get fancy with my hair I will mess it up. however ...You should feel comfortable in your styles and how you wear your hair and I think you should treat your hair the same way you treat yourself on your bday once in a while...If you really dont enjoy your hair at all...theres something wrong maybe you should try to open up a bit and give your hair a treat like you may skip the bun for few days or weeks as it pleases you. You dont have to be a psycho like me ...the reason I am is because I KNOW I AM SO NOT DISCIPLINED with my hair. ***** as im reading my own post ...I really feel my bf is right I might be crazy with my hair *** Hope theres a bit of sense in it.

 

[Mystic]

If that's your hair in the avatar, it's long and beautiful and you should enjoy it . Funny thing is, when I was relaxed, I never thought about heat damage or being scared to straighten my hair. This is because I used to roller set more, and my hair remained straight minimizing the need to use a flat iron. If I did straighten, it was infrequent; my hair thrived, had body and was growing. Now that I am natural, I am concerned about heat damage so I rarely straighten.

Since you are relaxed, I don't think you need to be as scared as long as you straighten infrequently, DC and continue to pamper your hair as you obviously are. Enjoy your hair!!!

Thanks Guys. No, I am not natural. I relax my hair 4 times a year. I thought I downloaded a pic for my profile. I will try to download it again.

 

[unalteredone]

I'm one of those people that thinks that if you have all that hair, you should show it. To me, there's no point in having long hair if you don't wear it out. So if/when my hair is as long as yours, you better believe i will be swanging it all around! As long as you take care of it and dont slack on the health side of things, i dont see why you cant have style too.

 

[Gigi-07]

I just apply heat protectant and KIM. lol.

 

[jamaraa]

Heat protectant + common sense= fun and variety for hair and for YOU. No need to feel guilty for taking just another option of many.

 

[clever]

I just apply heat protectant and KIM. lol.

me and you both!I'm about to flat iron in a lttlebit actually lol

 

[Fine 4s]

I haven't straightened my natural hair since I started my journey because every time I wash or twist my hair, I'm reminded of my motivation. All those scraggly, stringy ends are an excellent reminder why heat did not work for me (or at least a reminder that I wasn't doing it right). I'm more nervous about straightening than I feel guilty.
I have tons of variety with my natural hair. I haven't even explored all my styles yet and it's been 1.5 years. Some styles would cost either too much to do in a salon OR take too long to do. Not to mention folks pulling and tuggin' on my strands. Now that's scary to me!

Also, I'm still learning how to speak up, until I KNOW for SURE I can walk out, interrupt the stylist, ask for what I want, I can NOT go to a salon.

 

[jendazzler]

Thank you for all of your replies. I think I will continue to pamper + have fun with my hair. By the way, I love this site!

 

[ImFree27]

i'm natural and i used to feel guily for straighten my hair, but i like straighten it so i do it and i just take care of it, deep conditioners and heat protectants and i'm good.... i like my hair and wearing it out makes me feel good..

 

[Eclass215]

I know what you mean. I honestly didn't start feeling that way until I joined this site ! But it's probably because I knew I wasn't taking the best care that I could, and now I'm scared to mess up.

I plan on straightening my hair next week though, and I've felt a little guilty - but I think I know how to handle the heat now so I should be ok.

I know one thing - when I get to your length, trust me I will do whatever I want and not feel an ounce of guilt, so you shouldn't either! You are obviously doing something right!

 

[ebonimama]

Right now I do. So I rarely put heat in my hair or wear my hair down. Once I reach my goal lenth I'll probably wear my hair down more often and maybe use a little heat more often because I won't be so scared of hurting my progress. My goal is bsl and I should be there by the New Year so y'all know I'm just gonna be swangin' it when we shout out Happy NewYear!