Hair...The Black Woman's Curse?

[Southernbella.]

It's all good ...and i feel your point and i kinda knew i'd get a lot of different views on this subject.

My opinion is that length comes easier to others ( mostly non-african americans) but at the end of the day I do love the hair one my head and even if its takes a lot more i'll be waist length someday soon.

But even that varies among black women. There are women on this board who gain and retain length like it's nothing. I know black women in real life who are the same. My hair grows fast and I never had a problem retaining length.

I think if your (general) hair isn't growing, you have to look at your diet, haircare practices, how often you are cutting, what your stylist is doing, and what you are trying to get your hair to do.

 

[naturalgurl]

If they are, it works both ways. Ask the white guy who yelled out to me in the grocery store parking lot last night, "Hey! I love your hair!"

I grew my relaxed hair to MBL with no protective styling, no silk scarf at night, and no coochy cream. It really isn't THAT hard, and it definitely isn't a curse.

I get compliments from more white people than black people. White people view it as beautiful and they wish they could do their hair like "that". Black people look more like "cover yo' nappy a$$ head up before people think all of us have nappy hair>." Go figure...

 

[lilamae]

If they are, it works both ways. Ask the white guy who yelled out to me in the grocery store parking lot last night, "Hey! I love your hair!"

I grew my relaxed hair to MBL with no protective styling, no silk scarf at night, and no coochy cream. It really isn't THAT hard, and it definitely isn't a curse.

lol..thx for the post lauren. You are one of my idols and yes, i too love your hair. ( glad to know you were able to reach mbl without all the extras, but i for one am keeping my coochie cream)

 

[DragonPearl]

I have said it before, our 4 a/b hair requires more conscious care to retain length. I don't take this as a put down of our hair or as a reason to feel inferior to non-blacks.

I am sure orchids and roses that require more care to grow and flourish don't think they are less beautiful than wild flowers that grow without care.

 

[JustKiya]

I disagree. Case in point: In the summer, I go to a pool, where I can see a variety of white, asian and hispanic haired women swimming, and they ALL swim with their hair loose, none of them are wearing swimming caps. They don't do anything special to their hair. On 2 occasions, I have tried doing the same with my loose natural APL 4a/b hair, and I had so many tangles afterward, I had to cut out parts of my hair.

Please don't assume that because they were swimming with their hair loose, that they didn't have to go through a massive detangling session afterwards - unless you went home with those women? I'm seriously not trying to be a smartass, I'm just pointing out the - flaws in the assumption. I have a white friend, with hair down to her butt, that is harder than MINE to detangle, and it's stick straight. Don't know why, as it's in gorgeous condition, but if she wears her hair out and a good breeze sweeps through, she's got 45 minutes of detangling to deal with....so she almost never wears her hair down. She learned to work within the limitations of her hair, and doesn't call it a curse because she can't 'show off her length' 24/7....

Our hair is different. It is the lack of acknowledgment of the differences that has caused our hair to retain less length. We were taught to run a comb through it everyday, like our non-black counterpart, and expect to see continuous growth like they do.

*sigh* Sadly enough, the bottom line is that overall, most black women don't know how to take care of THEIR hair. Period. For that matter, hair care isn't aimed at CURLY headed people, period, no matter what the race. It's all about making the curls flat, and then using heat to put them back in. Seriously?

I was flipping through the online version of HypeHair the other day, and it right PISSED ME OFF that 80% of the styles in there were done on weaves, and that NONE of the articles were about actually taking care of the hair that comes out of your head.

It's all about the money, really. It's not financial prudent for companies to educate black women on how to actually take care of THEIR hair - that would mean billions of dollars suddenly down the drain. *sigh*

 

[Isis]

I was sitting on a cheap sofa in the Ikea store with my legs crossed determining the comfort and quality of my prospective new purchase when I was struck by the length (waist) and curls on this white girls head. I was like "ooh, I can't wait".. then seconds later, another just-past midback passes by, then a hip bone length and then another waist length!

One by one they passed me by with nice heads of hair I was nearly certain they took for granted.

After about a minute or two more dreaming of waist length and trying to shake off the " it's -just-not-fair -that-i-have-to-work-so-hard-to-grow-my-hair attitude...I hopped off the sofa and headed to the garage and back to my office as lunch time was ending.

I walked into the break room where 3 sistas were discussing working out. And you know the cliche conflict we always have with regard to working out came up: hair care. The conversation went something like this..

" Girl, I don't know about no hot yoga! Hot yoga will have my hair lookin a hot mess" ( everyone laughs as I stand there with a straight face)

"I know chile, only way I'm doing all of that work is if I'm getting my hair done the next day!"

The conversation continues and I nonchalantly observe. Then one of the olders ladies struck a nerve with her final statement as she left to the room..."Hair...it's the black womans curse" she said as she casually walked away.

Fresh memories of the white girls effortlessly boucing their long hair combined with the black womens' break room conversation about their frustation with basic hair maintenance while working out had me feelin like "why do WE have to do so much more??!!"

I mean I know its has to do with texture and yadi-yadi-ya but sometimes it just gets frustrating and I know I can at least come here to let out my " hair frustration".

When I was in the 5th Grade my mom sent me to a nearly all white school and she told me that I was gonna have to work twice as hard.

I guess I'll just have to apply that concept to hair as well.

First, I want to say you are a very good writer, Lilamae.

I believe our hair is a blessing as some of the ladies here have stated. Black women have the most versatile hair in the world, envied and admired by many. For some, especially in the U.S., the challenge is learning about healthy black haircare. Once it's learned and practiced, black women are only limited to their imaginations what they can do with their hair.

 

[lilamae]

But even that varies among black women. There are women on this board who gain and retain length like it's nothing. I know black women in real life who are the same. My hair grows fast and I never had a problem retaining length.

I think if your (general) hair isn't growing, you have to look at your diet, haircare practices, how often you are cutting, what your stylist is doing, and what you are trying to get your hair to do.

I agree, but if we took 100 black women, 100 chinese women, 100 mexican women and 100 white women and gave them the same diet, exercise and and hair program over a 1 year span without the black girls doing all of the extra care I would venture to think based on what ive seen all my life that we come in last in terms of length retention..what do you think?

 

[ladylibra]

well all i know is, i grow and retain more length than a certain fine-haired, straight-haired white girl i know. and that doesn't make her inferior to me. if she wants long hair, she's gonna have to work harder than i do. it is what it is.

we're all blessed with different things that another woman covets like crazy.

 

[lilamae]

First, I want to say you are a very good writer, Lilamae.

I believe our hair is a blessing as some of the ladies here have stated. Black women have the most versatile hair in the world, envied and admired by many. For some, especially in the U.S., the challenge is learning about healthy black haircare. Once it's learned and practiced, black women are only limited to their imaginations what they can do with their hair.

Thanks isis you're one of my favorites.
And I agree with your final statement

 

[gymfreak336]

Look

At the end of the day every race has its advantages and disadvantages when it comes to cosmetic issues.
I don't think any of it is a curse

Okay, so it might be easier for other races to retain length. On a scientific biological level their hair has characteristics that do make it easier. So what? That doesn't mean we can't have it long and strong, that just means we have to have regimes that take in account these factors and stay consistent with what every works. Thats it...End of Story, It isn't that serious

Think about it this way......Black women as a whole have better skin....We all know the saying, black don't crack. While I see more older black women looking better than their white counterparts, it doesn't mean that a white women can't age gracefully. They might have to use a higher SPF, start anti-aging treatments at an earlier age but that doesn't mean she can't retain great skin if she puts the work it. Our hair is no different. I personally love the fact that we have great skin genetics. You can buy some hair, you can't really buy great skin.

Indian women have great hair as well but they also have problems with body hair and hyperpigmentation as well.

Bottom line..... You can have it all, great skin, nice hair, nice nails but you might have to work harder for it in some areas but isn't that like with everything in life.
__________________

I posted this is in the other thread so I wanted to post this here too

 

[ladylibra]

I agree, but if we took 100 black women, 100 chinese women, 100 mexican women and 100 white women and gave them the same diet, exercise and and hair program over a 1 year span without the black girls doing all of the extra care I would venture to think based on what ive seen all my life that we come in last in terms of length retention..what do you think?

possibly. depends on the 100 women. 100 naturals? 100 relaxed haired women? 50/50? what if they only grow 4 inches of hair in a year but retain all 4 inches... and the white women grow 6 inches and only retain 4. does that count for anything? and what is the "hair program?" (too many questions, i know... ignore me, i'm always playing devil's advocate...)

i'm gonna go out on a limb here... i know very few white women who grow hair quickly. they may retain their length well, but my hair grows as fast as theirs. now i know several hispanic/indian women whose hair grows like weeds. and honestly i think they're hair is usually better-looking (just my opinion of course, based on my limited experience ).

 

[trini_rican]

okay first off... i've ALWAYS had small breasts and NEVER gone bra-less, at least not outside the house...

and many girls with long hair complain about how long it takes to wash/detangle/style etc. but you still see them day in and day out with long hair. and when and if the DO cut their hair short, the first thing i hear is how LIGHT their head feels.

now obviously it's cheaper and easier to cut your hair than to have a breast reduction but you get my point.



i've never... ever... EVER seen a black man breaking his neck to look at a white girl's "swangin" hair. where do y'all live? SERIOUSLY. i've seen them breaking their necks when they see it on a black woman, but NEVER a white one. and where i live black men are dating white women like it's going out of style in 10 minutes...

I'm in South FL so I see it all day. I think it's important to note that there are alot of Black women with waist length hair it's just that here in the states because of the poor haircare practices used for years in our country on "afro-textured" hair it's become harder to achieve - that and the products and hard water we have to deal with.

Ethiopean, Dominican, Trinidad, Jamaica, the Virgin Islands, and Aborigines of Australia are all very dark peoples =Black with natural un-processed hair ranging from 3b-4c textures, that hangs far below brastrap (and it's not uncommon). And most of them don't protective style because they're unfamiliar with the term.

 

[lilamae]

possibly. depends on the 100 women. 100 naturals? 100 relaxed haired women? 50/50? what if they only grow 4 inches of hair in a year but retain all 4 inches... and the white women grow 6 inches and only retain 4. does that count for anything? and what is the "hair program?" (too many questions, i know... ignore me, i'm always playing devil's advocate...)

i'm gonna go out on a limb here... i know very few white women who grow hair quickly. they may retain their length well, but my hair grows as fast as theirs. now i know several hispanic/indian women whose hair grows like weeds. and honestly i think they're hair is usually better-looking (just my opinion of course, based on my limited experience ).

your right, i know other variables must be considered but i swear it (length retention) seems to be easier for everyove else

and ...YES you are playing devils avocate.... now cut it out before people start giving endless scenarios!

 

[DragonPearl]

I agree, but if we took 100 black women, 100 chinese women, 100 mexican women and 100 white women and gave them the same diet, exercise and and hair program over a 1 year span without the black girls doing all of the extra care I would venture to think based on what ive seen all my life that we come in last in terms of length retention..what do you think?

What do I think? I think on the average, our length retention would be less due to our curl pattern.

How many black women past BSL with natural 4a/b hair do you see walking around everyday with their hair loose, and I don't mean twistout or braidout, I mean loose as in I washed my hair, then I just let it be, as a regular haircare practice? No twist, no braids, no cornrows, no buns, no nothing after washing and conditioning. I have yet to meet this rare specimen. Yet I have met too many white, asian and hispanic ladies who do just that.

 

[ladylibra]

your right, i know other variables must be considered but i swear it (length retention) seems to be easier for everyove else

and ...YES you are playing devils avocate.... now cut it out before people start giving endless scenarios!

i know i know... i need to sit down and shut up...

I'm in South FL so I see it all day. I think it's important to note that there are alot of Black women with waist length hair it's just that here in the states because of the poor haircare practices used for years in our country on "afro-textured" hair it's become harder to achieve - that and the products and hard water we have to deal with.

Ethiopean, Dominican, Trinidad, Jamaica, the Virgin Islands, and Aborigines of Australia are all very dark peoples =Black with natural un-processed hair ranging from 3b-4c textures, that hangs far below brastrap (and it's not uncommon). And most of them don't protective style because they're unfamiliar with the term.

interesting. guys look at me left and right here in Indiana, yes i know they don't ALL like my hair but i guess i'm just vain and have deluded myself into thinking they do...

What do I think? I think on the average, our length retention would be less due to our curl pattern.

How many black women past BSL with natural 4a/b hair do you see walking around everyday with their hair loose, and I don't mean twistout or braidout, I mean loose as in I washed my hair, then I just let it be, as a regular haircare practice? No twist, no braids, no cornrows, no buns, no nothing after washing and conditioning. I have yet to meet this rare specimen. Yet I have met too many white, asian and hispanic ladies who do just that.

*raises hand sheepishly* do i count? i don't wear protective styles...

 

[AfroKink]

Please don't assume that because they were swimming with their hair loose, that they didn't have to go through a massive detangling session afterwards - unless you went home with those women? I'm seriously not trying to be a smartass, I'm just pointing out the - flaws in the assumption.

One of my best friends (white) is a competitive swimmer. Her hair is mid back length. Dyed. Flat ironed. She's trying to grow out her most recent colour, and I told her to just cut off the coloured parts. And she said "NO! do you know how LONG it took me to grow my hair this long?!?!?" She has to do so much to keep her hair in okay condition. She has special shampoos and conditioners. She actually has more products than I do. Regular chlorine dries it out and makes it break. I didn't want to fall into the "I know a white girl who....", but someone brought up swimming. Carry on.

Lys

 

[lilamae]

Look

At the end of the day every race has its advantages and disadvantages when it comes to cosmetic issues.
I don't think any of it is a curse

Okay, so it might be easier for other races to retain length. On a scientific biological level their hair has characteristics that do make it easier. So what? That doesn't mean we can't have it long and strong, that just means we have to have regimes that take in account these factors and stay consistent with what every works. Thats it...End of Story, It isn't that serious

Think about it this way......Black women as a whole have better skin....We all know the saying, black don't crack. While I see more older black women looking better than their white counterparts, it doesn't mean that a white women can't age gracefully. They might have to use a higher SPF, start anti-aging treatments at an earlier age but that doesn't mean she can't retain great skin if she puts the work it. Our hair is no different. I personally love the fact that we have great skin genetics. You can buy some hair, you can't really buy great skin.

Indian women have great hair as well but they also have problems with body hair and hyperpigmentation as well.

Bottom line..... You can have it all, great skin, nice hair, nice nails but you might have to work harder for it in some areas but isn't that like with everything in life.
__________________

I posted this is in the other thread so I wanted to post this here too

Great post, gym.

 

[trini_rican]

What do I think? I think on the average, our length retention would be less due to our curl pattern.

How many black women past BSL with natural 4a/b hair do you see walking around everyday with their hair loose, and I don't mean twistout or braidout, I mean loose as in I washed my hair, then I just let it be, as a regular haircare practice. No twist, no braids, no cornrows, no buns, no nothing after washing and conditioning. I have yet to meet this rare specimen.

I think you need to take a trip to the islands. You'd be pleasantly surprised. Especially in Santo Domingo. All day every day. Dark beauties with long luscious 4a-c hair down to the waist.

 

[Ms.Honey]

I agree, but if we took 100 black women, 100 chinese women, 100 mexican women and 100 white women and gave them the same diet, exercise and and hair program over a 1 year span without the black girls doing all of the extra care I would venture to think based on what ive seen all my life that we come in last in terms of length retention..what do you think?

Do you mean with the same texture and hair growth rate? I don't think there would be a difference in those cases. I don't think it's fair for us to compare our curly hair to straight hair. I think it's like comparing apples to oranges. I think if you take 100 women of each race with straight hair and the same growth rate and all of the other varibles that you've described you would get the same results. The same for all wavy or curly headed girls of each race and all kinky headed girls of each race.
Now the only thing that I can see that may be slowing our retention is the level of dryness of curly and kinky hair going back to that sebum through the length of our hair to the ends of our hair thing.
We really don't need the help of major companies to find retention solutions for our hair. We can figure that out ourselves right here on this forum. Bump them

 

[DragonPearl]

*raises hand sheepishly* do i count? i don't wear protective styles...

So the pics you have in your siggy are achieved by wash and go?

 

[ladylibra]

So the pics you have in your siggy are achieved by wash and go?

yes. oh i should add, i do use a leave-in.

 

[DragonPearl]

I think you need to take a trip to the islands. You'd be pleasantly surprised. Especially in Santo Domingo. All day every day. Dark beauties with long luscious 4a-c hair down to the waist.

Are you talking about Dominican Republic? If so, they are latinos. Most of them even if they are dark have "mixed" hair. I know, people don't like to use this term, but I know that my 4 a/b is not their 4a/b.

 

[AfroKink]

I'm in South FL so I see it all day. I think it's important to note that there are alot of Black women with waist length hair it's just that here in the states because of the poor haircare practices used for years in our country on "afro-textured" hair it's become harder to achieve - that and the products and hard water we have to deal with.

Ethiopean, Dominican, Trinidad, Jamaica, the Virgin Islands, and Aborigines of Australia are all very dark peoples =Black with natural un-processed hair ranging from 3b-4c textures, that hangs far below brastrap (and it's not uncommon). And most of them don't protective style because they're unfamiliar with the term.

I'd have to disagree with that in the case of Afro-Caribbeans at least. They don't call it protective styling, but naturals (in the type 4 range) in the Caribbean generally wear their hair in combos of cornrows, twists, and braids. In North America, naturals (in the type 4 range) seem more likely to sport afros, puffs, twist outs.

Lys

 

[DragonPearl]

yes. oh i should add, i do use a leave-in.

What leave-in do you use? I have been in your fotki before, and I thought the last 3 pics were twistouts.

Anyway, trust me when I say that my 4 a/b hair will not look like this after I wash it.

ETA: If your hair is 4a/b, maybe they should create a new category for my hair type: 5 a/b

 

[ladylibra]

What leave-in do you use? I have been in your fotki before, and I thought these were twistouts.

Anyway, trust me when I say that my 4 a/b hair will not look like this after I wash it.

i use Afro Detangler from www.growafrohairlong.com... don't misunderstand me though, i pay for my hairstyle choice on detangling day. but i don't perpetrate on Fotki. if i have done something to style my hair in a certain way, i will usually explain how and what products used.

but let me say i don't doubt you Jessy55. my son has 4a/4b hair that is NOTHING like mine. he has fine, cottony strands whereas my strands are thick and more silky-feeling. his hair is coily and shrinks a lot but doesn't tend to clump without manipulation. that is one reason why i'm not fond of Andre's system. if you never saw a pic of me and i told you "i'm black" you might imagine something totally different than what i actually look like. it's a very generic description.

 

[trini_rican]

Are you talking about Dominican Republic? If so, they are latinos. Most of them even if they are dark have "mixed" hair. I know, people don't like to use this term, but I know that my 4 a/b is not their 4a/b.

Yes. Latinos have generations of no mixing - nothing but black on black Mami's and Papi's 4a-4c. Contrary to popular belief. Not all latinos have wavy, curly or straight hair. Just like black people we come in all shades

 

[trini_rican]

I'd have to disagree with that in the case of Afro-Caribbeans at least. They don't call it protective styling, but naturals (in the type 4 range) in the Caribbean generally wear their hair in combos of cornrows, twists, and braids. In North America, naturals (in the type 4 range) seem more likely to sport afros, puffs, twist outs.

Lys

I've personally had a different experience. In Trinidad, PR, VI, and DR, that's not the case. Pulled back in a pony or bun and braids (yes) but not 90% of the time.

 

[DragonPearl]

i use Afro Detangler from www.growafrohairlong.com... don't misunderstand me though, i pay for my hairstyle choice on detangling day.

I bet you did. My question is, how many days in a row did you wear your hair like that? Is that a hairstyle that you could wear everyday and still grow hair? That was the point I was trying to make.

 

[ladylibra]

I bet you did. My question is, how many days in a row did you wear your hair like that? Is that a hairstyle that you could wear everyday and still grow hair? That was the point I was trying to make.

yes. this is how i usually wear my hair... either that, or up in a puff. now if i were less knowledgeable about natural hair, i'd probably rip thru my hair on detangling day and get done faster, but ruin my ends. instead i detangle once a week in sections... yes it takes me a little over an hour erplexed but then i don't mess with my hair for another week so that's how i justify it.

 

[DragonPearl]

Yes. Latinos have generations of no mixing - nothing but black on black Mami's and Papi's 4a-4c. Contrary to popular belief. Not all latinos have wavy, curly or straight hair. Just like black people we come in all shades

Yes there are pockets of purely black latinos, but most latinos are mixed. If I see a dark latino in the streets of Santo Domingo, I have no way of knowing what her mixture is so I can't use her to illustrate anything about 4 a/b hair.

People of Ethiopian and Soudanese descent also have had a lot of intermixing with other groups due to the pivotal location of their countries. Aborigenes of Australia, most of them have hair that's not 4a/b.