Help, I can't take this no mo!

[sunshyne_krissy]

I am 7 months post relaxer on a journey to being natural...and last week I recently found that my hair divides into two specific types: 3c in the very back and 4 mad: ????) in the front. It has not curl pattern just kinky undefined, thick, ..dare I say UGLY... waves. I hate to sound unappreciative but I am at my wits end. I planned on going natural PERMENANTLY but am having 2nd ...and 3rd thoughts. My hair is extremely porous and very hard to comb weather wet or dry. I want sexy, thick curly/wavy hair. NOT a hot mess. I know alot of you sistas texturize..any tips or products for texturizing after I BC???? I don't want it completely str8, just defined and easy to manage.

Any advice will be appreciated!

 

[glamazon386]

Your texture might look different once you cut the relaxed ends off. My hair curled up more after I bced. My texture also looked different on my 2nd stretch it was looser and no longer frizzy and dry looking. I attributed that to me conditioning my hair more. Hope this helps...

 

[MJ]

If you don't love your hair for what it is, you will be miserable if you try to go natural or live with natural hair.

 

[Amour]

I am 7 months post relaxer on a journey to being natural...and last week I recently found that my hair divides into two specific types: 3c in the very back and 4 mad: ????) in the front. It has not curl pattern just kinky undefined, thick, ..dare I say UGLY... waves. I hate to sound unappreciative but I am at my wits end. I planned on going natural PERMENANTLY but am having 2nd ...and 3rd thoughts. My hair is extremely porous and very hard to comb weather wet or dry. I want sexy, thick curly/wavy hair. NOT a hot mess. I know alot of you sistas texturize..any tips or products for texturizing after I BC???? I don't want it completely str8, just defined and easy to manage.

Any advice will be appreciated!

Is it the 3 or 4 texture your not happy with or both?

 

[Sweet_Ambrosia]

If you don't love your hair for what it is, you will be miserable if you try to go natural or live with natural hair.

I agree.
@sunshyne krissy
You may just need to try different products, specifically products that are more moisturizing for your hair.

 

[Ms Lala]

If you don't love your hair for what it is, you will be miserable if you try to go natural or live with natural hair.

I agree. I am sorry you are struggling w/your hair textures. As far as texturizing that is an option and it may help but just so you know it does not create curls, it loosens the curl pattern to kind of enhance what you have. If you do texturize be sure not to over texturize the 3c parts. I have 4a/b hair and I love it, I really hope you can learn to love your natural texture.

 

[Softresses]

I agree. I am sorry you don't like you are struggling w/your hair textures. As far as texturizing that is an option and it may help but just so you know it does not create curls, it loosens the curl pattern to kind of enhance what you have. If you do texturize be sure not to over texturize the 3c parts. I have 4a/b hair and I love it, I really hope you can learn to love your natural texture.

I agree with the bolded parts, I am a 3c/4a. I texturize to try and even up the stubborn 4a part (top/front) with my curly 3c back. I start with the 4a part that is curled tighter, then do the back. A copy of my technique is in my journal. The link is in my siggy if you would like to take a look (great saved tips...).

HTH

Softresses

 

[blueabyss333]

Your texture might look different once you cut the relaxed ends off. My hair curled up more after I bced. My texture also looked different on my 2nd stretch it was looser and no longer frizzy and dry looking. I attributed that to me conditioning my hair more. Hope this helps...

ITA.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

If you don't love your hair for what it is, you will be miserable if you try to go natural or live with natural hair.

I agree, you have to love and accept ALL textures of your hair (in order to be a successful natural, imo), you can't pick and choose which texture you like and dislike. If it were me I would put more thought into rethinking my journey if I couldn't find a way to try and like what I got.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

I am 7 months post relaxer on a journey to being natural...and last week I recently found that my hair divides into two specific types: 3c in the very back and 4 mad: ????) in the front. It has not curl pattern just kinky undefined, thick, ..dare I say UGLY... waves. I hate to sound unappreciative but I am at my wits end. I planned on going natural PERMENANTLY but am having 2nd ...and 3rd thoughts. My hair is extremely porous and very hard to comb weather wet or dry. I want sexy, thick curly/wavy hair. NOT a hot mess. I know alot of you sistas texturize..any tips or products for texturizing after I BC???? I don't want it completely str8, just defined and easy to manage.

Any advice will be appreciated!

i finally found my hair twin! sorry no tips cause i don't texturize. i hope you find the best product for our hair type (weird)

 

[dicapr]

I am 7 months post relaxer on a journey to being natural...and last week I recently found that my hair divides into two specific types: 3c in the very back and 4 mad: ????) in the front. It has not curl pattern just kinky undefined, thick, ..dare I say UGLY... waves. I hate to sound unappreciative but I am at my wits end. I planned on going natural PERMENANTLY but am having 2nd ...and 3rd thoughts. My hair is extremely porous and very hard to comb weather wet or dry. I want sexy, thick curly/wavy hair. NOT a hot mess. I know alot of you sistas texturize..any tips or products for texturizing after I BC???? I don't want it completely str8, just defined and easy to manage.

Any advice will be appreciated!

I know where you are coming from. I have many different textures in my hair and blending them will not be easy. I've got curls, coils, and the front is straight up 4b. Wash and go's will probably not be an option. I still plan to go natural and wear mainly protective styles where the different textures won't be so obvious. When I want curls, I'll press it strait and roll it. I just don't see my rocking a curly leftside and middle, frizzy right side, and 4b bangs.

 

[Lucia]

There is a noticable difference from transitioning hair w/ relaxed ends to fully natural, sometimes the natural-relaxed testures together on the same head make the natural hair seem dryer and less managable, you really need to up the moisterizing a little more than you think you need. Deep condition more often, do you use protein conditioners? Even if you do end up testurizing you still need to get the moisture back in your hair. Moisture + deep conditioning treaments, patience = healthy hair. hang in there, don't give up too quick. nethugs. hth

 

[sunshyne_krissy]

There is a noticable difference from transitioning hair w/ relaxed ends to fully natural, sometimes the natural-relaxed testures together on the same head make the natural hair seem dryer and less managable, you really need to up the moisterizing a little more than you think you need. Deep condition more often, do you use protein conditioners? Even if you do end up testurizing you still need to get the moisture back in your hair. Moisture + deep conditioning treaments, patience = healthy hair. hang in there, don't give up too quick. nethugs. hth

Lucia/ I don't use protein conditioners now. When i was completely relaxed I did do that... every other WEEK . ( this was before I found LHCF, I was so uninformed!!!) This made my hair unbelievably hard and damaged so during my transitioning period I am laying off the protien; it has made my hair do a complete turn around. My ends aren't broken and my natural hair is growing in thick and strong. I attribute most of that to my MTG mix(bein using it Since May of this year)... also I just added 2600 mcg of Biotin so that has a lot to do with the overall health as of now from the past 3 months of my transition. I am currently doing braid extensions for my protective style. It has helped me to retail nearly all growth if not completely all. When I remove my braids I immediatly either do a hot oil treatment or a pre-poo and then poo/ and then deep cond. for an hour. After this I apply some leave-in (pantene curl defining comb-in treatment) Its just a long way of saying leave-in conditioner for curly hair.

 

[sarel]

That's funny. My hair is pretty much the same! My nape is easily a 3c or b, but the rest of my head is all 4a/b. It's so frustrating because I love the hair at my nape. It's soft, defined, and so easy to manage. The rest of my hair.. is not lol My hair is texturized, but with my naturally different textures, I still have the different curl patterns regardless. To top it off, part of my hair is very underprocessed, so I have a bunch of different textures on my head. But I've just come to accept it. I'm not going to shave my head any time soon, so my hair and my ideals just had to make peace! If you do decide to texturize, please go to someone who knows how to do it properly and to handle your different textures. Underprocessed hair is no fun!

Good luck! Keep us posted.

 

[sunshyne_krissy]

Is it the 3 or 4 texture your not happy with or both?

KissKiss- I love love love my 3c in the back because when I wet it it is
A) easy to comb and I dont have to try hard AT ALL to style it.
B) the curls are so so so cute! it is beautiful with just a lil dab of water and a lil beyond the zone -noodlehead creame CURL DEFINER.
C) Grows faster and is shiny and a lot softer than the rest of my hair.

::::::::::::::::::::::TO ALL LADIES WHO RESPONDED:::::::::::::::::::::::::

I know that a texturizer will not MAKE curls . I think I may have been misunderstood from my initial post....But I do want more definition of my waves and curls (what I already have) instead of just kinkiness, courseness, and puffy hot mess..lol Here is why I want a texturizer..
A) I am extremely tenderheaded so any type of combing through my kinks (wet or dry) hurts badly. I get tenderheadedness from my mama
B) I went all natural 2 years ago and it was the same hair texture results before and after I BC'd. So I believe thats just how my hair is...very course and a kinky puff in front and looser 3c curls in the very back.
c) I believe a texturizer will help me to comb through my hair without me stopping every 4 seconds callin on Jesus to "help me get through this". I've tried deep conditioning every braid out and moisturizing my braids everyday with my Qhemet Biologics (love it!) I even followed the Crown & Glory Technique from Robin.. But nothing can defeat what God has genetically birthed me with without alturing it with chemicals. Sounds BAD I know. I just want to make this easier on myself than it has turned out to be. I realize that it may seem I am jumping the gun but I really want whats best for my hair and what fits into my budget and time frame. Hair care, like most other things take dedication and love and I plan on pouring just as much of that as I have been already with all this patience I have to have just to prepare for a shampoo and deep conditioning. Please if ya'll have suggestions on texturizer brands or whatever else keep them comming I do appreciate it A LOT.

what do ya'll think of that new product by Just for Me :TEXTURE SOFTENER. ??? www.texturesoftener.com

 

[determined_to_grow]

If you don't love your hair for what it is, you will be miserable if you try to go natural or live with natural hair.

I agree w/ MJ I just couldnt take it so I relaxed after 12weeks . I hope next attempt I will get the courage, patience and will power to just deal w/ 4b in some areas, 4a in some areas and 3something in others.

 

[Ms Lala]

I know that a texturizer will not MAKE curls . I think I may have been misunderstood from my initial post....But I do want more definition of my waves and curls (what I already have) instead of just kinkiness, courseness, and puffy hot mess..lol Here is why I want a texturizer..
A) I am extremely tenderheaded so any type of combing through my kinks (wet or dry) hurts badly. I get tenderheadedness from my mama
B) I went all natural 2 years ago and it was the same hair texture results before and after I BC'd. So I believe thats just how my hair is...very course and a kinky puff in front and looser 3c curls in the very back.
c) I believe a texturizer will help me to comb through my hair without me stopping every 4 seconds callin on Jesus to "help me get through this". I've tried deep conditioning every braid out and moisturizing my braids everyday with my Qhemet Biologics (love it!) I even followed the Crown & Glory Technique from Robin.. But nothing can defeat what God has genetically birthed me with without alturing it with chemicals. Sounds BAD I know. I just want to make this easier on myself than it has turned out to be. I realize that it may seem I am jumping the gun but I really want whats best for my hair and what fits into my budget and time frame. Hair care, like most other things take dedication and love and I plan on pouring just as much of that as I have been already with all this patience I have to have just to prepare for a shampoo and deep conditioning. Please if ya'll have suggestions on texturizer brands or whatever else keep them comming I do appreciate it A LOT.

what do ya'll think of that new product by Just for Me :TEXTURE SOFTENER. ??? www.texturesoftener.com

I see, I thought you wanted curls. A texturizer will definitely make it easier to comb. I can't fault you there, it took me a while to figure out how to comb my hair w/o alot of drama so I understand. I know several ladies who have had success texlaxing with Silk Element's Lye, I have 4a/b hair and if your hair in the front is truly 4a/b a text may not do much. Also, hairstyles like twists out and rollersets help to blend textures better, I hope this helps.

 

[Legend]

3c in the very back and 4 mad: ????) in the front. It has not curl pattern just kinky undefined, thick, ..dare I say UGLY... waves.!

Actually, this describes my own head of hair pretty much, but I don't think it's an "ugly" hair type at all . However, I admit it can be a bit much to deal with at times, and it's at those times I learned to just let it do what it wants to do.....or S-Curl it into submission.

Wet styling is definitely your friend with 4B sections of hair. Roller sets, and other low manipulation sets, are excellent to smooth the hair out (or make them curl for a change). But, because your scalp is so sensitive, I'm not sure if sets are a viable option.

If you can, maybe try some alternative wet styling methods before committing to a texturizer, especially if you would really like to be natural. Why? I have my hair texturized (most recently after a year of caring for unprocessed hair), and believe me when I say I still have to wrestle with my hair every day. Sure, texturizing stretches the hair a bit, but really does not add any definition (my waves actually have LESS definition because of the irregular and "Z" pattern), but you may still face styling challenges and potentially painful detangling.

HTH!

 

[sunshyne_krissy]

Thanks ladies for your insight and input After much deliberation I have decided to be a little more patient and see what happens with my hair until I reach BSL. I think I would like to try being tex-laxed simply because I want to maintain my waves/curls but I just want the texture and managability that a perm would provide.

ANY TIPS ON TEX-LAXING?? I know there are a few threads out there on that. Where should I start looking? What about Phyto-I as a tex-laxer???

 

[dimpalz]

A texlaxer is straighter than a texturiser. Where texturising is loosening the curl pattern, texlaxing is just a nice way of saying planned underprocessing.

I think the problem you have with your hair is that you don't know how to manage it, you're all full of negativity before you even attempt to do it so you're not even giving yourself the chance to succeed. Natural hair of any type is not difficult to comb or style if you know how, (which is wet and not dry if you want to have any hair left to reach BSL) or even if you take the time to learn how. Already you're not giving yourself the chance because you're wearing braids, a texturiser is probably a good idea, but you have to remember it'll bring all the trials and tribulations of having relaxed hair with it. Like I've said to alot of transitioners, just remember why you're going natural in the first place and see if a texturiser still fits in with that.

The fact that you have a distinct looser/softer/more defined curl pattern at the back of your head is not unique. Alot, dare I say the majority, of black people have the same thing. It may not be as distinct as 3b and 4b but it's there and there's no point pining over the less "ugly" part because your whole head will never be that way but careful planning with a texturiser will help even the texture out.

 

[Poohbear]

Your texture might look different once you cut the relaxed ends off. My hair curled up more after I bced. My texture also looked different on my 2nd stretch it was looser and no longer frizzy and dry looking. I attributed that to me conditioning my hair more. Hope this helps...

I totally agree!

@ sunshyne_krissy, It may look a hot mess right now because your still hanging on to the relaxed ends...

And nothing's wrong with or ugly about type 4 hair...once those relaxed ends go, you may just fall in love with it.

I remember when I was transitioning, my nappy new growth looked fuzzy and dry and a few parts that had grown out more had tiny tight springs/spirals. Once I cut the relaxed ends off, my hair was more uniform, nappy and kinky and no real curl pattern, but I was content. A week later, I did another big chop to less than half an inch, and I had beady beads all over. As my hair started growing out, my texture became those tiny tight coily springs all over. I didn't care about whether I had loose curls or waves. I was just happy that I was free from applying chemicals to my hair, that's what going natural is all about...

Don't worry about not having big curls and waves... if it's meant to be, it meant to be... if not, that is great also because it's what grows out of your head and it's you.

Take care, sunshyne_krissy!

 

[sunshyne_krissy]

thanks ladies for all your input and encouragement. as i stated above, i have decided to wait until after I bc to make my final decison on if i want to texturize or not. i know factually that i want to henna cuz i love the results ive seen on my fellow LHCF sistas. i think ill look up some info on that tex-laxing...sounds intriguing!!!


Love ya'll

 

[sexyaqr]

If you don't love your hair for what it is, you will be miserable if you try to go natural or live with natural hair.

I agree 100%. I know it is unlikely for me to go natural now because I can't stand the thickness but I do like my texture.