Honestly, Do you Think Some People Will Never...

[MizaniMami]

i totally agree with the bold red. it makes me feel like some may say "don't worry u'll get there in no time" but are really thinkin 'yeah right, ur never gonna reach that length.'

ok, now please don't jump on me here for this but, when i first read this this is the feeling i got...my feelings were now that the original poster has reached her bsl goal and has this healthy, beautiful bsl hair, i felt like it was saying, 'ha ha look at where i am and i too bad some of you will never get there, what does everyone else think.'

had this thread been posted by her at the beginning of her journey when it looked as it did i probably would have taken it diffently. now i KNOW that is not what the poster intended but i just wanted to share how it made me feel reading it and i personally took it as being a little caddy. but like i said if it was posted at the begining of her journey i probably would feel differently.

like another poster said, i thought this board was about disproving the myth that black women could not have long, healthy hair

should she not ask a question because we are about disproving the myths about black women hair?


If you know who you are and what you can do or what your hair can do why do yu care what others say.

People on here told me not to leave micros in my hair longer then 3 months
it's 6 months later and i still have my braids in.
someone could tell me right now that all my hair is going to fall out if i don't take my braids out. do you think I'm going to run a take my braids out. I think not.


what I'm trying to say is how can somebody tell you what your hair can do.

I guess we are supossed to debunktify these myths without actually speaking about them? They are supossed to magically dissapear without one word being said?

I don't see how it is possible. It's cool though, I can see why some people don't want to post here anymore-everything you say is flipped into something negative. EVERYTHING. I'll save myself the trouble.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

I think you ladies are taking the thread waaay to personal. Seriously, maybe I should have seriously reconsidered before posting this-Maybe *I* was in the wrong?

Okay, whatever, I'm done, I get the point.

i dunno maybe just bad timing...i mean shortly after u reach ur first goal u are posting baout how u think some others will never reach theirs...just seems mean.

 

[Shea]

Honestly it kind of put an ounce of doubt in my thoughts but whatever...I'm better. This thread will kind of discourage people that are newbies and dont know how long their hair can really grow. Some people may be in a phase where growth maybe slow but hey thickness and health maybe in full effect I rather have healthy hair and thickness than length any day. Maybe Mizani didnt mean to hurt people but we are dealing with women with different personalities and some may not be as strong as others. I'm am in a sorority I know how it is. So more than likely 50% may agree with you that are successful but ther maybe 50% that are just starting out who may feel offended. But hey akuna matata

 

[Proudpiscean]

nah, i don't think you are a liar. if you say that you mean it when you tell people these things that I believe you. lol i really, really don't think you were trying to be mean when you made this post. I honestly think you were open for discussion. my main thing was that people that are really sensitive were gonna freak out and stop taking care of their hair and use pink oil moisturizer again or something.

I agree
lol @ pink moisturizer!!

 

[erin558]

I honestly don't think this poster was starting this thread with that in mind, but I completely understand how you could feel this way. And frankly, I really do hope that others and the moderators on this forum think carefully about allowing these sorts of threads to exist. Yes, everyone has a right to free speech, but these types of threads, no matter how innocent they start out, almost always degenerate into namecalling or hurt feelings.

It's not for me or anyone else to say whose hair can do what. I'm focused on my journey and maxing out my potential. I will always support my sistas, though.If someone on the forum who was spear bald and had been since childhood came on and said she wanted to get to waist length as her ultimate goal, I'm cheering her on. Wagging my finger and saying, "Uh-uh, not for you babe" helps no one, including myself.

There have been times that I've gotten the feeling that longer-haired members have been doing the verbal equivalent of patting people on the head who have shorter hair and lofty goals. I've learned to just skip over those particular posts and ignore those posters, but I've been here for awhile and I know what to look for. New people coming here for support and seeing threads like this might think twice about sticking around, and that would be a shame, since there's a wealth of information to be mined here.

exactly! the bolded part is where the point i was trying to make.

 

[plove]

i dunno maybe just bad timing...i mean shortly after u reach ur first goal u are posting baout how u think some others will never reach theirs...just seems mean. [/quote]

prove her wrong then.

 

[HermioneWeasley]

exactly! the bolded part is where the point i was trying to make.

OT, but this is so funny. My name is Erin, too!

 

[*Happily Me*]

I think you ladies are taking the thread waaay to personal. Seriously, maybe I should have seriously reconsidered before posting this-Maybe *I* was in the wrong?

Okay, whatever, I'm done, I get the point.

MizaniMani, i too think people are taking this personally and i agree that you should not have started this thread here. now, if this was another forum, i don't think there would have been a problem with this post.

but this is LHCF and there's a culture and unwritten rule here...

 

[erin558]

ew double post

 

[erin558]

OT, but this is so funny. My name is Erin, too!

Hi Erin!

I've always wanted to ask another Erin this question. do a lot of people ask you: "is it Erin with an A or an E?"

I get that all the time!

 

[plove]

MizaniMani, i too think people are taking this personally and i agree that you should not have started this thread here. now, if this was another forum, i don't think there would have been a problem with this post.

but this is LHCF and there's a culture and unwritten rule here...[/quote]

Can someone tell me what the unwritten rulres are because I don't think i know them yet
​

 

[Proudpiscean]

MizaniMani, i too think people are taking this personally and i agree that you should not have started this thread here. now, if this was another forum, i don't think there would have been a problem with this post.

but this is LHCF and there's a culture and unwritten rule here...[/quote]

Can someone tell me what the unwritten rulres are because I do think i know them yet​

Me too

 

[*Happily Me*]

MizaniMani, i too think people are taking this personally and i agree that you should not have started this thread here. now, if this was another forum, i don't think there would have been a problem with this post.

but this is LHCF and there's a culture and unwritten rule here...[/quote]

Can someone tell me what the unwritten rulres are because I do think i know them yet
​

yes, no drinking and starting threads!

lol

just kidding... sorta lol

 

[HermioneWeasley]

I don't see how it is possible. It's cool though, I can see why some people don't want to post here anymore-everything you say is flipped into something negative. EVERYTHING. I'll save myself the trouble.

Personally, I love your posts. You got me hooked on Damage Remedy, after all (though I'm cheating on it now with bumble and bumble's Damaged hair system.) I think the issue with the tenor of this post is that you yourself seemed to foreshadow that what you were saying might be seen as catty. From your first post:

I seen some people that hair won't budge. I was wondering, if it was only me that thought some people's hair probably will never make it to bsl or beyond. I hope this doesn't come off as catty but I honest want to see what you guys think.

To be honest, whether you meant it to or not, you made it sound as if you and your friend were going through people's pictures, noting the ones that seemed to you weren't showing any growth, and judging their potential. I do not have the ability to be in your head or in your living room, so I am completely speaking as to conclusions that some people, including myself, might have drawn from your post.

The question itself is a good one, IMO. For several reasons, including genetics, diet, socioeconomic status, etc., people may not make their goal length. But that you thought that some people might parse your words and judge them catty makes me think that maybe you believed that it was possible that some people might take it the wrong way.

Now, I don't believe people's implications that LHCF is a "support-at-all-costs" forum. I have seen other posters taken to task by members for sitting there and letting a stylist chop of their hair or overprocess their ends or put bleach in or braid too tight. I think one of the great things about this forum is that we HELP each other. When someone admits to destructive behavior that is keeping them from goal, there's a little head-shaking and truth-telling, and then we get down to the business of trying to make it right.

 

[*Happily Me*]

Me too

ok, the rules are clearly defined. but unlike other forums, I feel that controversial threads where members could be offended are a no-no. now, that's not in the rules but it's apart of the culture.

 

[HermioneWeasley]

Hi Erin!

I've always wanted to ask another Erin this question. do a lot of people ask you: "is it Erin with an A or an E?"

I get that all the time!

LMAO! Oh my god, yes, all the time! And it's funny, because my mom loves the way Aaron is pronounced, so that's how my name is supposed to be pronounced (So, Ah-ron, Not Eh-rin), so that confuses people all the more. Plus, my bf is Latino, and the sound for "E" is the letter "I" in Spanish, so his parents think my name is spelled Irin, and they pronounce it "Eeeerin." Too funny!

There should be a black-Erins club or something. I think you might be the second one I've ever known ...

 

[Proudpiscean]

ok, the rules are clearly defined. but unlike other forums, I feel that controversial threads where members could be offended are a no-no. now, that's not in the rules but it's apart of the culture.

Oh, I got it

 

[asummertyme]

Not only genetic, but height..neck length..for instance..my sister was at bra strap( natural hair) after maybe 16 mos of growing....Me after 14 mos i was at shoulder length..she is 5'7 witha very short neck...i am 5'11 with a long neck..she bypassed a wholelotta inches that i have to fight thur to reach BSL..so i think it can happen, with time, and extra care...and a whole lot of patience..wich i dont have alot of...lol

 

[Radianthealth]

People on here told me not to leave micros in my hair longer then 3 months
it's 6 months later and i still have my braids in.
someone could tell me right now that all my hair is going to fall out if i don't take my braids out. do you think I'm going to run a take my braids out.

Girrrrrrrrl...You Betta Take Dem Braids OUT!!!!

All your hurr is gone fall OUT!!!

 

[plove]

ok, the rules are clearly defined. but unlike other forums, I feel that controversial threads where members could be offended are a no-no. now, that's not in the rules but it's apart of the culture.

but i thought we where open mined people on LHCF

 

[erin558]

LMAO! Oh my god, yes, all the time! And it's funny, because my mom loves the way Aaron is pronounced, so that's how my name is supposed to be pronounced (So, Ah-ron, Not Eh-rin), so that confuses people all the more. Plus, my bf is Latino, and the sound for "E" is the letter "I" in Spanish, so his parents think my name is spelled Irin, and they pronounce it "Eeeerin." Too funny!

There should be a black-Erins club or something. I think you might be the second one I've ever known ...

i've actually met a few black Erin's in my time, i think maybe uhh..6? I went to school with a black Erin so that was really cool.

lol thats too funny about your boyfriend and his family. people have a hard time pronouncing my name. My uncle calls me ERR-In.

 

[Aveena]

ok, the rules are clearly defined. but unlike other forums, I feel that controversial threads where members could be offended are a no-no. now, that's not in the rules but it's apart of the culture.

ic

 

[*Happily Me*]

Not only genetic, but height..neck length..for instance..my sister was at bra strap( natural hair) after maybe 16 mos of growing....Me after 14 mos i was at shoulder length..she is 5'7 witha very short neck...i am 5'11 with a long neck..she bypassed a wholelotta inches that i have to fight thur to reach BSL..so i think it can happen, with time, and extra care...and a whole lot of patience..wich i dont have alot of...lol

so true about neck length and height. i'm 4'11 with a very short torso. i have a few strands touching brastrap already but i recognize that on a taller women, it'll just be APL.

Lauren450's length would be mid back for me

 

[plove]

Girrrrrrrrl...You Betta Take Dem Braids OUT!!!!

All your hurr is gone fall OUT!!!

*running to take braids out*

 

[Wishin4BSL]

Ladies, this thread has just given me an epiphany! For the first time in my life, I looked in the mirror at my hair and didn't hate it. I saw me instead of my hair. Even if it doesn't grow long, my hair isn't me. I may have never been happy with my hair (EVER!), but for a long time now, I've been happy with me. Don't ask me why this thread made me realize that I'm happy with the way I am, hair and all (because I don't know) but somehow, it did. I couldn't believe that I could look at myself and not care about the length of my hair. It's healthy, I take good care of it and I've been working on becoming a better person as far as school, work, and health, and relationships and like all of you ladies said, "The hair will come." This is my new way of thinking about my hair now! Thank's ladies!

 

[MizaniMami]

MizaniMani, i too think people are taking this personally and i agree that you should not have started this thread here. now, if this was another forum, i don't think there would have been a problem with this post.

but this is LHCF and there's a culture and unwritten rule here...

Noooow, you tell me (j/k). I feel you though!

I just came to agree that everyone is not as "non sensitive" as I am. I should have done some really careful thinking before I posted this on this board.

 

[MizaniMami]

but i thought we where open mined people on LHCF

LMAO, Plove, I swear, you know how it is!!!

 

[locabouthair]

i don't see how this thread could be depressing to you. this is only one person's opinion (or a few). look around you at people who did not grow up with long hair and made it there. JamericanDiva (i hope i got her username right) comes to mind.

if you allow this to depress you, changes are you will not make it as you've given up hope and the universe will see to it that you get exactly what you desire. nothing.

be hopeful flawed beauty. it's VERY possible to have long hair. for all of us.

i needed to hear this. i'm feeling down about my hair today cause it looks like a HAM.

Mizani, I'm not discouraged and I don't think that it was your goal to make others feel discouraged. This thread has inspired me to keep moving. I keep ignoring the fact that a healthy diet is essential for me to gain length and health but this thread reminded me of that and that I need to be consistent with my regimen.

I have been neck length for four years. and im not gonna give up because I want it that bad.

 

[B_Phlyy]

When I saw the thread and read the first post, the first though that came to my head was "MizaniMama started another thread" (love your posts though girl), but it's a good, thought provoking question. The fact that she has long hair now never factored into my mind, because I've seen her fotki so I know that she's put in work to get to her goal.

Anyway, to answer the original question, I do think everyone can reach their hair goals. As others have said, it's a matter of maintenance, consistency, and patience. Genetics do play a part, but you can't see your genes but you can see the harmful or helpful things that are effecting your hair.

 

[Ayeshia]

there were some albums where I looked and honestly didnt see progress in length and seems to be still stuck at the same length. There was even a time where someone has a thread like 3 years back asking if her hair grew a certain amount...and I told her that I quite honesly didnt see any acquired length. Why lie? It doesnt mean their hair is any less healthy than someone elses but IMO it just didnt look like it grew.