HOW DO I AVOID THESE NEGATIVE COMMENTS?! I'M GETTING SICK OF IT?

[LdyKamz]

I know I saw a thread about this when I was lurking but I can't seem to find it now. I just started taking better care of my hair in February. So definitely not that long but my hair has made significant proogress (health wise...the growth is following SLOWLY lol) Anyway I was talking to my mother about my hair the other day and I said I can't wait for my hair to grow a bit longer so I can wear it out and give the weaves a rest. She says "The reason I think you aren't getting much growth is becuse your hair is so nappy" That made me furious! I said that has nothing to do with anything. So I just ignored her. I see my sister everyday (we work in the same office building) and today she says "your weave looks good and always smells good but don't wash it anymore. The weave is thinning try to make it last for a few months" Now if the weave gets uwearable guess what I WILL TAKE IT OUT" I will not let my hair go unwashed. When I tried to explain she sighed and said she didn't want to talk about my hair. Ok, fine I get that she isn't excited about hair as I am but this comes from someone that saw pictures of the way I filled in my edges in 3 weeks (after lurking ont his board) and wants me to help with her hair. I try to ignore it but its just so frequent. They bring up my hair and ask questions and when I get into it their eyes glaze over they tune me out. LOL. One last thing...when I would weave my hair back to back and do nothing to it uunderneath my mom always swore my hair grew after I took it out. That was a big fat lie. In fact my hair was almost always shorter. Now that you can see a difference my mother tells me nothing is happening to my hair and I'm doing all of this for no reason. UGH! I'm just...ugh!!! Ok, rant over.

 

[Curlybeauty]

Don't talk about it be about it.

You got a forum full of ladies who love to talk hair all day everyday.

 

[LdyKamz]

You are so right! That's why I'm always on here seeing what's new. Then I hear crap about that. "oh she's probably on that hair thing again" I ignore that crap. When my hair is hanging down my back and I'm swinging and bouncing with evevery step that's when they'll want my help. I can wait until then!

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

ITA Don't talk to them about it at all. Let your hair speak for you. When it starts flourishing they're going to do one of two things 1. Try to convince you (verbally or subliminally) to get it cut or that having nappy hair is alot of work or unattractive, etc. 2. Find out what you did to make your hair grow (because it couldn't have possibly been you taking care of it! You must have had some ancient African growth juice that you put on your scalp 9 times a day)

Seriously though, don't worry about them and what they say. Just focus on you and your hair journey. You'll get there and you'll see (and show) that your work wasn't in vain.

 

[My Friend]

ITA Don't talk to them about it at all. Let your hair speak for you. When it starts flourishing they're going to do one of two things 1. Try to convince you (verbally or subliminally) to get it cut or that having nappy hair is alot of work or unattractive, etc. 2. Find out what you did to make your hair grow (because it couldn't have possibly been you taking care of it! You must have had some ancient African growth juice that you put on your scalp 9 times a day)

Seriously though, don't worry about them and what they say. Just focus on you and your hair journey. You'll get there and you'll see (and show) that your work wasn't in vain.

Who got some ancient African juice? I want some.

 

[cinnespice]

I usually ignore comments. My mother used tell me stuff and i just ignore it. My friends don't really understand so i leave be. Not everybody is into the same stuff. I'm really into my hair they are not. So low and behold just night my mom is like your hair looks really good as opposed all you need is a good hot comb.

 

[Prudent1]

Don't talk about it be about it.

You got a forum full of ladies who love to talk hair all day everyday.

This right here^^^. Most AAs have been taught all kinds of wrong info for years concerning hair, money, relationships, you name it. De-programming mentally has to take place before any real changes can come about. The truth is them seeing the changes and your swanging hair will speak volumes. Even after all of that, I still have some ppl tell me I must have indian in me. Or they say I must be mixed with something. I do not. I'm just plain old blackety black black. Some will get it, some will not. You cannot share your dreams/ aspirations with everybody, even if they share DNA with you.

 

[Bun Mistress]

I have been growing my hair for three years now and I still hear it. I just keep it moving. Hater's gonna hate. Even when you grow your hair out. Meh.

 

[Roux]

I can tell you first hand it won't stop until you stuntin' on em.

 

[Tamrin]

Like you were advised don't talk about it be about it. I used to get the complaints that I'm always taking care of my hair. My own mother saw me go from relaxed chin to past relaxed apl and said something nice once. She went away for a few months and I decided to Big Chop and go natural. When she saw me she said " Ohh your hair must have fell off that is why you cut it." My mother is a life long natural and when she said this to me she had more hair than me. Now I have more hair than her in less than a year. She even went as far as trying to get me to straighten it for my grandmother's funeral by telling me that I'm getting old so I need to do something with my hair. LOL. I just KIM and put it in kinky twists and hopped on the plane to the Islands. She did the same to my sister who is also natural talking mess to her when My sister is now a Mid back natural. We now laugh when she tries to tell us what to do with our hair. Our hair speaks for itself and we don't ask for opinions nor do we give advice.

 

[OsnapCnapp!]

Yeah my younger sister saw my hair fro'd out and was like "girl you will feel much better if you just perm yo hair". I was like damn chick I don't remember telling you my hair made me sick and my mom was always referring to my hair as "that" hair, lol. My mom also believes I will have a hard time in my career field getting a job. Mind you she lives in a little podunk town where anything outside the norm is taboo. She has no idea my nursing mentor has dreads to her hips and the NP on our floor wears her natural hair in beautiful thick twists. But I don't say anything I just let them be close-minded and do me. Girl just keep stepping and don't be afraid to wear your hair out now. Don't be afraid because of what they say, let your hair and scalp breathe and be free girl because when you do reach your milestone you are going to have some kissing your az and some will still hate. So don't let your family get to you, they just don't understand. Be the one to set the example, be the pioneer of healthy hair!

 

[lana]

When I first learned how to take care of this 4a/b cottony stuff growing out of my scalp. I wanted to tell the world! I ended up driving family and friends crazy with my "knowledge". Then they basically told me to just go to a hair stylist and leave it in their hands. Stylists had already ruined my hair for years.

So finally I realized that I can't talk to everyone about everything. Now I don't even MENTION my long hair to family or friends. If they ask me questions I basically say: Just washing and conditioning it. But if they want specifics, I give them my favorite list of products hands down. (Which are Redken Smooth Down, Keracare Humecto, Perfect Results Conditioner and a serum of choice, Almond Cherry Oil for Sealing those ends)

So keep your hair to yourself, it's your hobby. I figured that out early on and since then I have had tons of questions from friends and I tell them when they really want to know.

 

[PennyK]

Don't let it get to you girl. Like all the other girls said, haters always gonna have something to say to tear you down. And when your healthy hair proves them wrong, they're gonna always have creative excuses for why your hair is thriving.

 

[LdyKamz]

I can tell you first hand it won't stop until you stuntin' on em.

For real for real. I can't wait!

 

[Darenia]

In response to your actually title... "HOW DO I AVOID THESE NEGATIVE COMMENTS?! I'M GETTING SICK OF IT? "

I'm afriad you can't... I've had my hair as long as BSB and as short as my ears, natural, relaxed, and texlaxed and someone at sometime has had something to say. They call themselves advising/helping.

ITA Don't talk to them about it at all. Let your hair speak for you. When it starts flourishing they're going to do one of two things 1. Try to convince you (verbally or subliminally) to get it cut or that having nappy hair is alot of work or unattractive, etc. 2. Find out what you did to make your hair grow (because it couldn't have possibly been you taking care of it! You must have had some ancient African growth juice that you put on your scalp 9 times a day)

Seriously though, don't worry about them and what they say. Just focus on you and your hair journey. You'll get there and you'll see (and show) that your work wasn't in vain.

 

[LdyKamz]

Thank you everyone for your encouraging words. This board is so inspiring and it really just makes me feel better about all this hair stuff. I think it's interesting. Like Lana said, it's my hobby and I just can't get enough of it. I try to keep it to myself. You just can't please some people. When they ask me and I give basic answers (because I know the reaction I normally get from them) they get all huffy and say "well you're the expert! i'm asking and now you don't have nothing to say" I laugh at that! LOL Anyway, thanks everyone! I feel so much better!

 

[DrC]

Don't talk about it be about it.

You got a forum full of ladies who love to talk hair all day everyday.

Exactly. And we love talking about hair products, progress pictures, making our own conditioners oils, butters, you're in a hair gold mine.

 

[JJamiah]

Even family can be buzz kills. Everything I feel has pretty much been said. Some how we always get on the topic of hair in my family (I love hair) but I don't always bring it up. I walk into conversation and the Snubbery of black (colored) hair is like eww I'd never to black. Yet you'd walk around with horse grazed colored hair! Any who. Do you, and let them, DO THEM!


You need to learn to press the Ignore button in your head. Show them better then you can tell them!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Let your hair be the proof. That will show them!

 

[Beverly Ann Properties]

Ditto DDTexlaxed. Don't talk about it to them, but, be about it. I would continue the healthy hair practices, protective style and hide my hair until the big reveal and really have them not talk about it because they would be speechless!!! LOL!!!!

 

[ToSelahWithLove]

ITA Don't talk to them about it at all. Let your hair speak for you. When it starts flourishing they're going to do one of two things 1. Try to convince you (verbally or subliminally) to get it cut or that having nappy hair is alot of work or unattractive, etc. 2. Find out what you did to make your hair grow (because it couldn't have possibly been you taking care of it! You must have had some ancient African growth juice that you put on your scalp 9 times a day)

Seriously though, don't worry about them and what they say. Just focus on you and your hair journey. You'll get there and you'll see (and show) that your work wasn't in vain.

either that, or you're gonna all of a sudden "have that good hurr" ... lol