How old were you when you

[venusfly]

How old were YOU when you got your first perm/relaxer and how do you feel about that age now? Still happy you got relaxed then? Wish you had waited if you were really young?

I read that the First lady refuses to relax Sasha and Malia's hair at their current ages. Made me think. I remeber as a child growing up DESPERATELY wanting a relaxer at around age 12 or 13 but my father who was old school refusing to allow it. I didn't get one until very late in my teens (and I'm still relaxed). At the time I was so mad when my Dad refused to let me get a perm, but over the years I've wondered more than once if it wasn't a good thing that I didn't get relaxed that young. Any thoughts? Glad you got a relaxer when you wanted even if you were pre-teen? Mad you didn't? Don't think it affected the health of your hair of your hair history one way or another?

 

[Lylddlebit]

I got my first perm when I was like 5. I just though "whoa my pigtails are long now" and probably "this burns and it smells funny". I didn't have a choice when I got my first perm. Thinking back I don't see having a perm as a big deal , once I got old enough to do my own hair I wore it how I wanted and stopped getting perms. I don't think the perms had a lasting impact on my hair especially since the permed hair is long gone now.

 

[virtuenow]

I was 11 years old. My mom was pretty angry that I would want a perm in the first place; but I begged and begged until I wore her down. She was very much against it, but eventually obliged. I had the kinkiest hair ever and when I discovered perms-- through a teenage cousin, I believe, I was in awe. Her hair was laid. I am quite touched by the fact that my mom had so much love for me, for my natural hair, and natural hair in general that she didn't want to disturb it. I can appreciate that now that I'm older. We are in an age where women are so fast to relax their little girls hair.

 

[Avidprayer]

I got a Vigorol (sp?) around age 8 from my Granny who was a beautician. I'm not happy I got a relaxer then, but it was either that or continuously stay in braids.

 

[ChocolatePie777]

I think i was 13....it was the last year of middle school i believe....after my hair going going downhill my mom didnt have a problem with trying something new...i asked her for it btw and we went to a salon.....i was excited to get it but after i was like "meh"....plus i started to have (what i thought were) bad hair days, though people constantly told me my hair was the bomb.com i never truly felt that way.......however i never thought to stop even though i would wait till the last minute to get a touch up.....i was 17when i decided to stop...im 20 now......

As far as the age i did it it concerned i think highschool age is fine.....anything younger i give the side eye to.........but if i have daughters theyll probably never get a relaxer......i dont know why a lot of black people think its something every black woman has to do eventually even if its for a short time....like its a prerequsite or something

 

[natural_one]

I think I was about 8 or 9...I remember my hair was long and natural one day and the next it all fell out except for one patch. It was traumatic.

 

[learningandgrowing]

I was 19 years old when I got my first relaxer and I'm so grateful to my mom for encouraging me to wait.

 

[proudmommyoftwo0911]

I was 11 and believe it or not it was doctor ordered. I had a really bad itches caused by dandruff with scabs as wide as 2-3 inches that would bleed at times. We tried natural and medicated products, oils etc.. and nothing worked. My mom was sooo against it, but my dad was all for it cause he was tired of me crying about it. After I had my relaxer, the issue never returned! I've gone natural over 5 times, but I had to relax all 5 times because the scalp issue would return. I want to go natural now, but I don't want to suffer.

 

[Anakinsmomma]

Hmmmm first relaxer was at six I think. One of those "kiddie perms" but I was already an OG in the chemical game by then... Jherri curl at three and hot combs from about five to six.

I didn't know any better that young and just wanted to look pretty. Obviously, my mom didn't know what to do with natural hair besides Afro puffs so while I wish she wouldn't have, I understand. I could've done without all the "nappy" and "too thick" comments though... It's warped my view and I'm not sure if my hair was ever really that thick or if it was just tangled and all her ballyhooing mislead me into my current quest to obtain what I, in fact, never had.

SN: when I was about 14, my mother would always use to rave about this little girls hair on my block (she was my bff's stepsister and would sometimes show me how to do her hair or do it at my house). It was a nice 4a and it was really long. Oooh it's so manageable, ooooh it's so pretty she would say. My hair was meh; it was past SL, but not by much, and always dry and breaking off (but it never went shorter than SL for some reason). I used to wish i had her hair (and she was about 8 years younger than me ) I'm now 99% convinced that me and that little girl had the same texture and the difference was her mother knew how to care for her hair (moisturizing, protective styling, and most importantly no chemicals and very little heat) and my mom didn't. Oh, the irony.

 

[MACGlossChick]

I got one the in 5th grade. My sister had gotten hers a couple months before 8th grade. My mom didn't want to continue doing my natural hair. When I look at the difference in hair thickness between my 5th & 12th grade school pics, I get a little upset. My (future) daughter will be natural as long as possible. I recently made the decision to bc when I get pregnant with a girl. I don't want her to have a complex about her hair, or be a hypocrite.

 

[dyh080]

I was 22. Most girls I knew of did not do perms.

 

[virtuenow]

I was 11 and believe it or not it was doctor ordered. I had a really bad itches caused by dandruff with scabs as wide as 2-3 inches that would bleed at times. We tried natural and medicated products, oils etc.. and nothing worked. My mom was sooo against it, but my dad was all for it cause he was tired of me crying about it. After I had my relaxer, the issue never returned! I've gone natural over 5 times, but I had to relax all 5 times because the scalp issue would return. I want to go natural now, but I don't want to suffer.

proudmommyoftwo0911 was this a black doctor? Are you sure the doctor ordered it? You said you were 11years old, perhaps you misunderstood. I'm just asking b/c it sounds odd that a doctor would order a chemical process for someone w/an irritated scalp.

 

[AXtremeTakeover]

How old were YOU when you got your first perm/relaxer and how do you feel about that age now? Still happy you got relaxed then? Wish you had waited if you were really young?

I read that the First lady refuses to relax Sasha and Malia's hair at their current ages. Made me think. I remeber as a child growing up DESPERATELY wanting a relaxer at around age 12 or 13 but my father who was old school refusing to allow it. I didn't get one until very late in my teens (and I'm still relaxed). At the time I was so mad when my Dad refused to let me get a perm, but over the years I've wondered more than once if it wasn't a good thing that I didn't get relaxed that young. Any thoughts? Glad you got a relaxer when you wanted even if you were pre-teen? Mad you didn't? Don't think it affected the health of your hair of your hair history one way or another?

I was 11.... I wanted a relaxer solo bad!!!! Bc my hair was only long when I pressed it.... I wanted it permanently long. We didn't know how to care for relaxed hair so it was a fail

 

[Just11412]

i was 12. and i made the choice to do it. it was more peer pressure. everyone in my class was like "oh you should get a perm, blah blah...". i begged my mom. she held off for awhile but then let me do it. her final words were "you will see, you will regret it. and you are gonna take care of it not me".

so i got it done and kept it in for 2 years. did all the little styles that were popular back then like the shirley temple curls and doobie wrap. got sick of it. my aunt was locking her hair and i thought it was so cool. i asked if she could start my locs. and that was it. by sophmore year i had locs.

when i had a perm it was healthy and thick. it was long too. i actually got a short bob. i had no problems with it. i just hated the upkeep and going and sitting in the salon. ugh!

then when i was like 18 i got a perm and that lasted all of 2 months before i cut that stuff off to a buzz cut and went natural for the final time. again. i just did not want to deal with the upkeep and going to a salon.

i don't think it affected my hair at all. i didn't get frequent touch ups and i really didn't do much with my hair.

do i wish i never got a perm. not really because i experimented for a bit. i was relaxed a total of 2 years and 3 months. lol. no really a long time.

 

[Baggettcindy]

I think I was around 13. This was around "82"...so it was an in-thing to do. I wish I didn't get one at all, but it made doing my hair easier. I wish I could have those years back.

 

[Ogoma]

I was 13 when I got my first relaxer. I went away to camp and got lice . My mother's solution was relaxing my hair.

 

[koolkittychick]

I was 18 when I got my first relaxer, for prom and for graduation. I had never had long hair back then, so after I got it relaxed I experimented a lot with color and kept it in a cute cross between a shag and pixie cut. I kept it relaxed for about 7 years before my first attempt at going natural. I actually liked -- and still like -- my relaxed hair. And I was the appropriate age I feel to get one; old enough so that I knew how to take care of my hair without going bald or having crispy fried hair. If I had a daughter I would rather she wait until she was closer to 18 (if ever) before she tried the creamy crack. Before then is just an invitation to lose all their hair

 

[leiah]

I was around 12 or 13. I would just buy the box in the store, take it home and do it myself. I wish I knew what I was doing instead of just continually applying it over already relaxed hair and leaving it on for 30+ minutes hoping it would actually take this time. I remember my hair breaking off and scabs on my scalp but my hair was still curly.

Looking back I dont really regret it, I did it because I wanted straight hair and I thought that's how I would get it. My mother didn't know anything about relaxers and even if she would have tried to stop me, I would have done it anyways.

But now I know my hair just does not respond to relaxers and it was all pointless.

 

[venusfly]

@ Ogoma, you made me LOL! Over the years, I have been long, then short, then long again, then short again in a cycle of every few years (every 5 years or so).... usually because I cut my hair short because I don't like the way it looks or feels. I see a a split end or straggly ends (love blunt ends/hemline) and I reach for the scissors again, and again, and before you know it, I'm short again and starting over. Fortunately, whatever I do to it it usually gronws back and long or short it gets compliments. Anyway, I do wonder about the texture of my new growth. I look at pictures of myself as a toddler and a kid before I ever had a relaxer and compare the texture and beauty of my virgin never processed hair to my new growth of today. Not complaining, but I do think the texture of my new growth is far different from what i had on my head when I had never had a relaxer........or could just be my imagination...but I don't think it's my imagination....?! LOL!

 

[SoopremeBeing]

Ooh I was young, maybe around 3rd or 4th grade. I always had a kiddie perm.

 

[Gracie]

I was about 11 or 12. I thought I was so grown up. i remember my scalp feeling itchy. When she was done It was soft, straight and bouncy. Later I realized the hair in the back of my head was severely broken off. To this day that section is a different texture than the rest of my hair. The itchy feeling was actually burning and my hair was being rinsed down the drain.

 

[frizzy]

I got a Vigorol (sp?) around age 8 from my Granny who was a beautician. I'm not happy I got a relaxer then, but it was either that or continuously stay in braids.

That! I almost forgot about the Vigorols. I used to get one at the beginning of the school year for about 2-3 years. I was about 9 or 10 at the time, I remember my Mom still using a warm hot comb on my hair with them.

I started getting Dark & Lovely box perms during my 10th grade year. My Mom asked me if I wanted one and I said "OK" erplexed. I wasn't even thinking about no relaxers!

 

[Arian]

I was 8. And I would let my daughter decide--when she gets a job and can pay for her own hair...

 

[proudmommyoftwo0911]

proudmommyoftwo0911 was this a black doctor? Are you sure the doctor ordered it? You said you were 11years old, perhaps you misunderstood. I'm just asking b/c it sounds odd that a doctor would order a chemical process for someone w/an irritated scalp.

Yes, he was black. But trust me I understood everything. Lol! My mom even called the docs office to make sure we were not making it up. I have no idea, but for whatever reason it worked

 

[karenjoe]

13 or 14.... it was a life saver...... lov my relaxed hair....

 

[brg240]

I was 12 I believe, i begged my mom for it. I loved it except for the pain </3 Everyone oohed and ahhed over it too.

Looking back it was too young, my mom agrees. I wish I never got it or at least waited until I was older.

 

[Angelinhell]

9, I loved it. My thick natural hair is something to deal with. It's still thick with a relaxer, but easier for me to deal with.

 

[sheanu]

One...but it wasn't my mum's choice I probably wouldn't have gotten a perm if I had a choice. I never liked the process.

 

[MarieB]

*Disclaimer--I am not trying to throw salt on anyone's game--when it comes to your life, just do you.

I was 13--my aunt, who has straight hair, thought it would be a good idea to cut my natural hair, then didn't know what to do with it, so I became a relaxed head.

After finally deciding earlier this year to transition, I truly understand why my mother (whose hair is as curly as her sister's is straight) was so upset about what my aunt did to my hair, without talking to her first.

It's almost crazy to speculate on what my hair length would be now had it not been messed with way back when, given the whims of adolescence, and the fact that I might have wanted to play with cuts and color on my own.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

About 11 or 12. I begged my mom for one because one of my new friends from NY had one and I liked how her hair looked long and stretched out. She finally broke down. My dad couldn't understand why I wanted one because he thought I had nice hair . I don't regret it at all. The handful of times of been to the salon I've been told I have the type of hair to go natural. I knew what they were getting at but I didn't care. I was like "and?". I don't rely on salons and never have and always had decent length hair. I only went for hairstyles for prom and or balls. always stretched my relaxers for months. No drastic breakage or anything. Never was a big deal to me. Purely superficial as I am with my nails. I really like my natural hair texture but I prefer my hair to be predictable and somewhat effortless.