"I got a different grade of hair, so it won't grow likes yours.""

[blackpearl81]

Wow.....wow.....

Yes, this is what my co-worker/friend said after I told her about LHCF. After weeks of bunning, I decided to swang surf and wear my hair out today. She complimented me on how much it has grown and how healthy it looks, then asked me what I did....I explained my regimen and told her the basics.....DC, Co-wash, protein/moisture balance, and porosity control...then I recommended that she visit LHCF to learn more, even offered to pay the $6.50 ya'll.....but she won't even bother because according to her, our hair are different grades.....I tried to explain to her that although we might have different hair textures, ALL HAIR GROWS and that she is most likely having a problem with retention (from what I can see)......anyway, she didn't take my advice....Don't ya'll hate when people want help, but then take the easy way out because they ASSUME that black hair doesn't grow!!! I hate that....I can't even tell ya'll how many ladies won't hear me out....

 

[JustKiya]

People achieve what they believe. It just amazes me how often people refuse to even consider believing something outside of their current experiences.

 

[*Muffin*]

Story of my life when I first joined LHCF. People still ask me what I'm doing, and I explain until I'm blue in the face, but they always want to pull that "she got that good hair from her grandmama's side" card . They're too prideful to see that it's not heredity's fault that their hair is damaged, it's theirs.

 

[blackpearl81]

People achieve what they believe. It just amazes me how often people refuse to even consider believing something outside of their current experiences.

Exactly. I don't fault her for not knowing any better, becuz a lot of us were taught to believe that, but I hate to think that this girl will never see that her hair WILL grow beyond NL...which is where she's been for three years..

 

[dachsies_rule!]

When people tell me that i say: "you're grade can't be worse than mine, i used to break combs and brushes when i was child. My moms had to put a perm on my hair cause after a few years she couldn't find any beauticians who would press it."

Everyones hair grows...from the best to worst grade! It's just a matter of how you take care of it.

 

[msa]

In situations like those I try to encourage the person to think outside the box because I know it took me a long time to "get it". And even now I still have doubts.

It is really frustrating but if the person seems open to it then I'll take them Sera's fotki. It's the best demonstration of growth and retention for 4b hair and that combined with a basic explanation of hair growth works pretty well.

 

[blackpearl81]

In situations like those I try to encourage the person to think outside the box because I know it took me a long time to "get it". And even now I still have doubts.

It is really frustrating but if the person seems open to it then I'll take them Sera's fotki. It's the best demonstration of growth and retention for 4b hair and that combined with a basic explanation of hair growth works pretty well.

Good Idea..thanks! I want her to see her hair twins (4 a/b) and their journey's to healthy hair so that it's not an opinion, but a FACT. I reminded her of all that NG she has each month and that she needs a regimen for her hair type...hopefully I can convince her to join LHCF..or any hair forum for that matter..

 

[*Muffin*]

In situations like those I try to encourage the person to think outside the box because I know it took me a long time to "get it". And even now I still have doubts.

It is really frustrating but if the person seems open to it then I'll take them Sera's fotki. It's the best demonstration of growth and retention for 4b hair and that combined with a basic explanation of hair growth works pretty well.

That's kind of you. I guess it's so easy to give up on someone. Okay, I'll try harder with my family. As for the strangers on the street that like to grill but won't chill and listen, they're on their own .

 

[toyas08]

Story of my life when I first joined LHCF. People still ask me what I'm doing, and I explain until I'm blue in the face, but they always want to pull that "she got that good hair from her grandmama's side" card . They're too prideful to see that it's not heredity's fault that their hair is damaged, it's theirs.

That is what everyone say about me. Oh she got that good hair, she can't be all black. I broke more combs then anybody I know. People is always asking me what I'm mixed with. Even my mom is doing it, saying your dad is half puerto rican. He is not he is 100% black. *sigh* I'm finished, some people will never learn.

 

[tiffers]

It all goes in one ear and out the other with those types. I just give basic advice: wash and dc once a week, moisturize daily.

Anything past that, and they'll get a glazed over look in their eyes

 

[msa]

Good Idea..thanks! I want her to see her hair twins (4 a/b) and their journey's to healthy hair so that it's not an opinion, but a FACT. I reminded her of all that NG she has each month and that she needs a regimen for her hair type...hopefully I can convince her to join LHCF..or any hair forum for that matter..

Well definitely take her to Sera's fotki if she'll look at it. I mean she's a real 4b and she chronicles her growth from her BC so people can't say that she has some special "grade" of magical growing hair.

That's kind of you. I guess it's so easy to give up on someone. Okay, I'll try harder with my family. As for the strangers on the street that like to grill but won't chill and listen, they're on their own .

I'm not always that kind . But I realize that I'm just like they are. I've ALWAYS wanted to long hair and it's always been super frustrating and upsetting. I mean there were literally times where I would breakdown in tears about my short hair. So I know other people may feel like that as well. And even now, I still have my doubts because I've never been APL or anything like that. Being honest, I know I don't even believe WL hair can happen for me, even though it's what I want.

Anyway, I try not to bombard them. I just give them a basic "all hair grows unless you're dead" speech, show them the evidence, and direct them here or give them simple tips. For example, if they always use heat I'll tell them the main thing they can do is use a heat protectant and make sure to condition.

Usually people are receptive and even if they aren't, at least I know I tried.

 

[Ronnieaj]

I actually had the opposite happen. My best friend told me that I didn't have a good enough grade of hair to go natural! My hair was too thick and too much effort, and I wouldn't like it. And sadly, I believed her and didn't go natural for another 7 years. Now that I've been fully natural for a full year, and my hair is growing just like it did when I was relaxed, she wishes she had my curls. It is most definitely a mindset and acceptance of what you need to do. As they say, you can lead a horse to water...

 

[blackpearl81]

msa, that's how I felt too. My sister is half black/half mexican, and I remember wishing that I had hair as long as hers. Then after soooooo many hair mistakes when I was younger, I almost gave up....like a lot of ladies I've come across....Since joining LHCF, I feel a responsibility to help those that want healthier hair and its sooooo frustrating when they don't listen...All hair is good hair and I get offended when ppl say I have a different grade of hair and that why its growing....no, it grows because I put a lot of work into it..I'm gonna show her Sera's fotki tomorrow on our lunch break...thanks again!

 

[ladylibra]

You can't help people like that. Even if you show them Sera's hair they'll say it's a "better" grade than theirs. Even if you show them someone with Cnapp hair, they'll say, "Well that person has thick strands because they must've had a great-great-great-great-great-grandparent who was something other than black that contributed to it."

Sorry, I don't play Captain Sav-A-Head.

If someone is truly interested, I'll help them and point them in the right direction... but they have to be motivated enough to want it for themselves.

 

[lilsparkle825]

Wow.....wow.....

Yes, this is what my co-worker/friend said after I told her about LHCF. After weeks of bunning, I decided to swang surf and wear my hair out today....

I.....LOVE.....IT!! I am totally stealing that.

-holds breath- Every two or three days, someone makes a thread like this. Nothing against you or anyone else who tries to be the helping hand, but 90% of people you try to tell won't get it. All that will happen is their head will spin, they will decide that is too much work, and it will all be in vain anyway because THEY are full black and YOU got the luck of the Irish somewhere in your genes.

Back on topic. I am 3c/4a, my mom is 4a/b, and my sister is 4b all the way. We all started our hair care journeys around the same time, and we are all APL (or grazing it) now. I get this from my own freakin' family, especially my cousin, who looks at my hair and equates it with me being light skinned (although I have never been past SL). I always mention my sister, since at her young age she has had to recover from broken-off hair, bald spots, and chemical burns due to my cousin's insistence that she get a relaxer! That always shuts her up...but she still is nowhere near listening to or taking my hair advice.

 

[blackpearl81]

You can't help people like that. Even if you show them Sera's hair they'll say it's a "better" grade than theirs. Even if you show them someone with Cnapp hair, they'll say, "Well that person has thick strands because they must've had a great-great-great-great-great-grandparent who was something other than black that contributed to it."

Sorry, I don't play Captain Sav-A-Head.

If someone is truly interested, I'll help them and point them in the right direction... but they have to be motivated enough to want it for themselves.

I.....LOVE.....IT!! I am totally stealing that.

-holds breath- Every two or three days, someone makes a thread like this. Nothing against you or anyone else who tries to be the helping hand, but 90% of people you try to tell won't get it. All that will happen is their head will spin, they will decide that is too much work, and it will all be in vain anyway because THEY are full black and YOU got the luck of the Irish somewhere in your genes.

Back on topic. I am 3c/4a, my mom is 4a/b, and my sister is 4b all the way. We all started our hair care journeys around the same time, and we are all APL (or grazing it) now. I get this from my own freakin' family, especially my cousin, who looks at my hair and equates it with me being light skinned (although I have never been past SL). I always mention my sister, since at her young age she has had to recover from broken-off hair, bald spots, and chemical burns due to my cousin's insistence that she get a relaxer! That always shuts her up...but she still is nowhere near listening to or taking my hair advice.

Haha! I'm swangin, I'm surfin!!!!!....girl, you kno I got my own lil hair dance to go with it too!

 

[andromeda]

This type of person and their insistence that their hair can't grow can be very frustrating...but I was that same person 4 months ago. I wouldn't have said what your co-worker said bc I know it sounds ignorant, but I probably would've thought it. Bc of my own experiences, I think many people with this mindset are not beyond help. Mind you, I'm new to taking hair care seriously and only recently began transitioning, so I haven't had many opportunities to preach the LHCF gospel. I consider myself to be a pretty educated and open-minded person, but if someone had told me 4 months ago that certain regimens and products could lead to my hair not only being healthy (which is easier to accept), but growing long, I would've been like This is because for the most part, I'd simply accepted all the myths about 4a/b/z afro hair (at least until I started getting curious and did my own research) On the other hand, if someone broke it down for me (growth, retention, protein, moisture) and showed me someone like Sera or Mwedzi or Traycee, then I would think "Hmmm, maybe there's something to this".

I think people with this mindset have to treated like those who believed the earth was flat way back when. Are they crazy? No. They and many others believe what they've been told and what they've seen repeatedly. There's an appearance bias at play when it comes to this sort of thing. Can they be convinced to at least consider a different viewpoint? Sure, show them evidence, like the horizon.

I know this is long, but over the past few months I've been in a continual state of shock about how ignorant I was when it came to my hair. I've come pretty far knowledge-wise, so I figure there's hope for others who aren't well-informed.

 

[laurend]

Sometimes, I think it's pure laziness. Growing long hair takes work, just like getting a beautiful body through exercise, people want the easy way out.

 

[zenith]

Sometimes, I think it's pure laziness. Growing long hair takes work, just like getting a beautiful body through exercise, people want the easy way out.

Ditto!

And also it's easy to play the blame game than sweat to achieve.

"oh it's in my genes",
"it runs in my family"
"that will never happen for/to me"

sad!

 

[DayStar]

Wow.....wow.....

After weeks of bunning, I decided to swang surf

 

[*Muffin*]

That is what everyone say about me. Oh she got that good hair, she can't be all black. I broke more combs then anybody I know. People is always asking me what I'm mixed with. Even my mom is doing it, saying your dad is half puerto rican. He is not he is 100% black. *sigh* I'm finished, some people will never learn.

. This post had me rolling! It's so sad how in denial our people are in general, enough to fabricate mixedness where there is none!

 

[lilsparkle825]

Sometimes, I think it's pure laziness. Growing long hair takes work, just like getting a beautiful body through exercise, people want the easy way out.

Well we know that, but many people look at the way yt people grow hair like it is nothing and think that it is just a genetic impossibility for us. They don't take care of their hair and it flourishes. We neglect ours and it breaks off.

Kind of like how obesity is accepted as "being thick" or big-boned, when we know this is not the case for a large percentage of people who are overweight...but that's another thread.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Happens all the time..back to: YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER............they will come around only when they want to....age old black hair nonsense dies hard..jumps back up time and time again..just do you.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Wow.....wow.....

Yes, this is what my co-worker/friend said after I told her about LHCF. After weeks of bunning, I decided to swang surf and wear my hair out today. She complimented me on how much it has grown and how healthy it looks, then asked me what I did....I explained my regimen and told her the basics.....DC, Co-wash, protein/moisture balance, and porosity control...then I recommended that she visit LHCF to learn more, even offered to pay the $6.50 ya'll.....but she won't even bother because according to her, our hair are different grades.....I tried to explain to her that although we might have different hair textures, ALL HAIR GROWS and that she is most likely having a problem with retention (from what I can see)......anyway, she didn't take my advice....Don't ya'll hate when people want help, but then take the easy way out because they ASSUME that black hair doesn't grow!!! I hate that....I can't even tell ya'll how many ladies won't hear me out....

I hear that ALL...THE...TIME. Its so frustrating

 

[Growing My Glory]

I'm curious how one approaches such a sensitive topic on the board without mistakenly sending the wrong message. A similar thought has been on my mind since I've been visiting the board but didn't want to "go there". I have viewed hundreds on pics and I firmly believe that some hair types have a tendency towards faster growth.

I say this because of my daughter's hair. My daughter has a head FULL of hair and I don't usually take any extra care of it. When she was only 3 years hold her hair would hang down her back nearly into her potty. It was so funny!!! I hadn't ever seen anything like that. At least not on a black child.

Her hair type is quite different from mine. While it is VERY nappy, the strands are more substantial than mine. She gets her hair from her dad's family.

My hair grows but seems a bit more fragile than my daughter's hair.
When viewing pics I'm always looking for hair thats similar to mine to check out their progress and reggie.

Glory

 

[shadylane21]

This happens to me, but i have 2 young ladies who actually listen to everything say and buy every product that I tell them! They really want to change their hair and they sometimes lurk on here now they are awesome!
I love talking about hair and I will talk anyone's ear off except for family, because they just don't listen! and my mom is always like yeah you got that "Moody"(Dads side of the family) hair. She then proceeds to tell me that they have Blackfoot Indian on my dads side and Cherokee on my moms side, now I ain't seen nair native American in my family in all of my 28 years on this earth lol! Then she will say well you know your hair is good, because I took care of it when you were little! Well if you call having me relaxed since before I can remember and always pressing my hair and slopping grease on t and never washing it taking care of it then alright! Not to mention I have cut off all my hair and started over more that once!
O.K. last one I am a nurse and when I have my hair out I always get patients asking me what i'm mixed with and then they proceed to tell me I must be half Chinese lol!

 

[Oasis]

I don't even try anymore.

My cousins constantly talk about how fast my hair is growing, it's so thick & pretty, what do I use but will not even consider taking my advice. I don't even try to convince them to go natural, just friendly hair advice in general. It goes in one ear and out the other.

If they want to walk around looking like Gollum Girls, I say let them.

 

[MonPetite]

This is so frustrating! I want so badly to help people around me but they see my coils and curls and say: You've got that "good hair" so you can wash daily/co-wash/DC/grow-long-hair/etc.

SIGH.

I just repeat: "HEALTHY hair is GOOD HAIR!" over and over.

You can lead a horse to water....

 

[Priss Pot]

One of my aunts is like this. I try helping her as often as I can. I even did her BC for her the other day, but she still has a jagged mentality of hair and is always comparing it to mine. I don't like that she practically "praises" my hair while putting down her own. I want for her to love her hair the way it is. It honestly gets annoying after a while, but I still try to help.

 

[Libra08]

I really hate the hair "grade" comments. I get them all the time! Whenever someone tells me I have a "good grade of hair" I tell them my hair does not attend school and if I could give it a grade I would give it a D for the many times it has misbehaved on me in this humid weather