I see myself as bald-headed.

[California]

Has anyone gone through this? I have shoulder length hair, I grew it out and I still feel and see myself as bald-headed. Whats wrong with my feeling like this? I do see myself measuring my hair now to those that aren't Black, but compared to Black girls I have hair, but I'm not satisfied!! I want more and still feel bald-headed. Maybe I am, unless its down my back

 

[Irresistible]

Not sure what you mean by comparing to black girls? lots of black women (this site is proof) are now growing their hair to great lengths. Even by those that arent black might see you as not having alot of hair

The key is you cant see your hair through another's eyes, or compare by anothers standards or other heads of hair. Although I think we all do that to some extent. Plus I think there is a real condition (my hair dresser told me I had this years ago and I just laughed cause it seemed so true) as hair anorexia, some of us (either all the time or some of the time) never see our hair for what it is, and by comparing it to others we are never happy with it. I guess the key is stop comparing by other standards, and just focus on the beauty of your own hair and congratulate yourself on your progress and appreciate it as it is, cause trust me it can always be worse. and the key here is you ARENT really bald headed. But you could be.....so that right there is something to be thankfull for. I think we have to learn at differnent times in our lives to not be so hard on ourselves. and I think we alll do it at times too. Just work on your perception and thinking and soon enough your hair will been seen for what it is , not by comparison or by other's standards

Has anyone gone through this? I have shoulder length hair, I grew it out and I still feel and see myself as bald-headed. Whats wrong with my feeling like this? I do see myself measuring my hair now to those that aren't Black, but compared to Black girls I have hair, but I'm not satisfied!! I want more and still feel bald-headed. Maybe I am, unless its down my back

 

[sugaplum]

I agree. We are all unique.

I remember going through a time in my life when kids would say you have bad hair or you have good hair. So I see what you are saying.

IMHO, all hair is "good hair", it's just how we take care of it.

 

[Annakei]

Has anyone gone through this? I have shoulder length hair, I grew it out and I still feel and see myself as bald-headed. Whats wrong with my feeling like this?

Maybe because you are unable to see the beauty of who you are unmatched...not compared to someone else. Look a little deeper. This could be a deep topic or a really shallow one.

[I do see myself measuring my hair now to those that aren't Black, but compared to Black girls I have hair, but I'm not satisfied!!

Can I be honest? Im not being mean but I must just tell you this.... what in the heck do you mean compared to black girls you have hair? WHo are you? Have you seen the women on this site with hair down their backs into their buttcracks? I mean really! I thought as a people we were moving AWAY from this sort of language. If you arent satisfied then you arent satisfied but why does it need to be "compared to black girls?"

I could go on and on but I won't....

Again....not being rude but sincerely appauled by your choice of words.

 

[California]

I'm not gonna even explain myself.

 

[Babygurl]

I'm not gonna even explain myself.

Im sure no one meant to offend you in any way, but I for one hope that you do explain yourself, if youre not planning on it why start a thread about it?

 

[Nightingale]

I kind of read your comment that way too. I don't think anyone is trying to get on your case, just want to understand what you meant. We/I could just be reading it wrong. Overall though, I do understand what you mean though. My hair is past my shoulders too, but I still consider it to be medium length. Some black girls at my school consider my hair to be long compared to others on campus. I think that the black community as a whole has been brainwashed about the lengths that we can and cannot achieve. With decent care we can have hair as long as others races. Being black doesn't mean we're ONLY capable of having hair to our shoulders, max.

 

[locabouthair]

i think you should be thanfkul for what you have. there are others who may wish their hair could be as long as yours. my hair seems to be stuck at neck length. so if i had shoulder length i would be happy. and u have to think about those who have alopecia or are bald due to chemotherapy. just appreciate what u have.

 

[Annakei]

With 198 views to this post and only 7 responses...lots of folks holding their tongues...

 

[lovechic]

*walks in* and out the door I goooooooooooooooooo

 

[luvSLave]

I'm not gonna even explain myself.

No need girl, I feel you.

I think a lot of us feel the same way, that even though we've achieved a decent length (as compared to others who aren't as hair obsessed as hair boraders) it still doesn't feel long enough. Heck, I think that's what keeps this board up and running . My hair is longer than it's been in YEARS, and I'm still not satisfiesd. I don't think it's hair anorexia for me at this stage, just obsessiive compulsive behavior. That's better, right?

 

[Enchantmt]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have long hair. Thats why this board exists. As you reach your goals there is also nothing wrong with changing those goals so you grow and achieve more. There is always someone who is going to be in a greater/lesser position than you. Using others as a guide can have a negative or positive spin. It can show you what can be achieved and that if one woman did it you can do it to, and motivate you to greatness. It can also put you in the position where you feel inferior or superior to folx based on what you have. This is what you want to avoid. It takes away your self control and messes up your self esteem, and if taken to extremes in different areas can make you a not so pleasant person to be around. There is nothing wrong with having a long hair goal but enjoy what you have and applaud what you have accomplished on your way to acheiving it.

 

[Neroli]

No need girl, I feel you.

I think a lot of us feel the same way, that even though we've achieved a decent length (as compared to others who aren't as hair obsessed as hair boraders) it still doesn't feel long enough. Heck, I think that's what keeps this board up and running . My hair is longer than it's been in YEARS, and I'm still not satisfiesd. I don't think it's hair anorexia for me at this stage, just obsessiive compulsive behavior. That's better, right?

DITTO. I am very grateful and mindful of my blessings, especially having long healthy hair, a special grace I never thought would be mine. I recently made BSL milestone which is one of the new *miracles* in mine life 'cause as little west african girl (my family is from Liberia) my 4b,c,d,e,f hair was always a challenge. So, even at BSL, I still want more, but I expect that's just human nature.

I just wish we can keep the dialogue respectful on the board. That is one of the things I love about LHCF, the fact that so many diverse folks can discuss and agree, disagree, whatever, but still respect each other.

 

[senimoni]

Maybe because you are unable to see the beauty of who you are unmatched...not compared to someone else. Look a little deeper. This could be a deep topic or a really shallow one.



Can I be honest? Im not being mean but I must just tell you this.... what in the heck do you mean compared to black girls you have hair? WHo are you? Have you seen the women on this site with hair down their backs into their buttcracks? I mean really! I thought as a people we were moving AWAY from this sort of language. If you arent satisfied then you arent satisfied but why does it need to be "compared to black girls?"

I could go on and on but I won't....

Again....not being rude but sincerely appauled by your choice of words.

We all discuss how we are happy to have found this site, and where would we be with out it etc. I'm assuming she is not talking about the women here, but the average everyday BW who does not care for her hair.

 

[Irresistible]

ROTFL


Well I do gotta say, that just didnt sound quite right *shrugs*

With 198 views to this post and only 7 responses...lots of folks holding their tongues...

 

[Irresistible]

hmmm girl *scratches chin* that could be

but then she could have just said "women that dont take care of their hair" yanno?

We all discuss how we are happy to have found this site, and where would we be with out it etc. I'm assuming she is not talking about the women here, but the average everyday BW who does not care for her hair.

 

[Irresistible]

LOL

you just go and click on a thread and find yourself in the middle of some sh uhh stuff

*walks in* and out the door I goooooooooooooooooo

 

[onepraying]

Has anyone gone through this? I have shoulder length hair, I grew it out and I still feel and see myself as bald-headed. Whats wrong with my feeling like this? I do see myself measuring my hair now to those that aren't Black, but compared to Black girls I have hair, but I'm not satisfied!! I want more and still feel bald-headed. Maybe I am, unless its down my back

You don't really need to explain this post. At one point in time we all had some thoughts like this. I mean, I used to think getting to shoulder length being black and a 3 or 4 hair type was doing something. Not until I hit this site and saw all the long, long hair.

It is apparent that you have just started out on your journey so your are still learning and growing. These thoughts will change.

You feel bald-headed because of all the beautiful long hair you've seen on the site and others and in the streets. I know that's why I have hair anorexia. After seeing and reading about Babygurl, Iris, Peachtree, Skeegeesmb, Allandra, AJD, Southerngirl, Jainygirl, etc., etc. I was like, "Man, I know I ain't got no hair now!" However, as I learned I realized that I, me, this little black girl from the 'jects that always had those itby-bity plaits that stuck up all the time, could actually have long hair! Shoulderblades, brastrap, Waist, tailbone and beyond!!!

Just keep your head up, learn your hair, pamper it and give it some time.

Remember a watched pot never boils.

((((hugs)))))

~op~

 

[1Specialk]

No need girl, I feel you.

I think a lot of us feel the same way, that even though we've achieved a decent length (as compared to others who aren't as hair obsessed as hair boraders) it still doesn't feel long enough. Heck, I think that's what keeps this board up and running . My hair is longer than it's been in YEARS, and I'm still not satisfiesd. I don't think it's hair anorexia for me at this stage, just obsessiive compulsive behavior. That's better, right?

DITTO! I'm 3 or 4 inches from top of BS and when I look at my hair it looks short, but others (family and Black friends/co-workers) are oohing over my length when I just don't see it. I think we are to impatient, atleast I am. Every single day, I look at my hair and think, "Are we there yet!"

 

[Mariaat40]

We've had a lot of discussions about hair anorexia here. Do a search on it and you'll find lots of posts. Many of us have felt the same way. And I think that once you start frequenting the hair boards your perception of long changes. I had shoulder length hair most of my life and thought of it as long. Now my perception is that it was more medium length.

 

[CookieLAD]

I agree that there's no need to explain this. Most of us in this forum are obsessed with hair, and many of us do in fact compare our hair to other women's hair. Obviously if I'm black, I'm going to be checking out another sister's hair. I've done this for as long as I can remember, and I don't intend to stop now. The only difference is that since discovering this forum, I've had the opportunity to really study other women's hair and develop an appreciation for their hair challenges and problems. The heads of hair in this forum are truly awesome, and I love looking at them.

One of life's greatest challenges is to learn to appreciate whatever you've been given (hair, car, house, man, job...etc), but we all fall short at times.

BTW... some heads are truly noteworthy, like that jacked up sista behind the counter at the BSS today with that knotted up weave...hair one color, weave another color totally All that hair up in that store....puuuuuuuulease

 

[California]

I see most of yall are cool and feel where I'm coming from. The hair journey continues and trust I'm thankful, but when you reach one level you want to get to the next so bad because you now know you can do it. I'll stop watching the pot OnePraying that's a good metaphor.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

I understand what you mean and I wasn't offended by the way you put it. I don't know anything about hair anorexia or what your problem might be or whether the way you feel about yourself is justified or not, but:

The truth is ladies, regardless of reason MOST black women do not have hair past their shoulders (my personal definition of long). Most women on this board don't have what I and most poeple consider LONG hair. And please don't run off a list of people with long hair because I know they exist. I also know they are the exception not the rule. Of all the many albums I've seen not half of them had long hair. Way more women of other races have long hair as the norm. Why is it wrong to say that?

Why are we so afraid to speak the TRUTH?

 

[pink_flower]

I understand what you mean and I wasn't offended by the way you put it. I don't know anything about hair anorexia or what your problem might be or whether the way you feel about yourself is justified or not, but:

The truth is ladies, regardless of reason MOST black women do not have hair past their shoulders (my personal definition of long). Most women on this board don't have what I and most poeple consider LONG hair. And please don't run off a list of people with long hair because I know they exist. I also know they are the exception not the rule. Of all the many albums I've seen not half of them had long hair. Way more women of other races have long hair as the norm. Why is it wrong to say that?

Why are we so afraid to speak the TRUTH?

ITA!

I understand this board is shattering myths and all that good stuff but outside this board I rarely see black women with long hair. It could be a regional thing, I dunno.

Anyways, don't fret California, I'm sure you'll reach your goals soon.

 

[MizAvalon]

I understand what you mean and I wasn't offended by the way you put it. I don't know anything about hair anorexia or what your problem might be or whether the way you feel about yourself is justified or not, but:

The truth is ladies, regardless of reason MOST black women do not have hair past their shoulders (my personal definition of long). Most women on this board don't have what I and most poeple consider LONG hair. And please don't run off a list of people with long hair because I know they exist. I also know they are the exception not the rule. Of all the many albums I've seen not half of them had long hair. Way more women of other races have long hair as the norm. Why is it wrong to say that?

Why are we so afraid to speak the TRUTH?

THANK YOU for putting it out there girl. This is so true.

 

[California]

I understand what you mean and I wasn't offended by the way you put it. I don't know anything about hair anorexia or what your problem might be or whether the way you feel about yourself is justified or not, but:

The truth is ladies, regardless of reason MOST black women do not have hair past their shoulders (my personal definition of long). Most women on this board don't have what I and most poeple consider LONG hair. And please don't run off a list of people with long hair because I know they exist. I also know they are the exception not the rule. Of all the many albums I've seen not half of them had long hair. Way more women of other races have long hair as the norm. Why is it wrong to say that?

Why are we so afraid to speak the TRUTH?

Giiiiirl, now we are here, on the same accord, you feel me. Some people love to pretend and make something outta nothing, when there is something but making up something cause they feel they can, which is outta pocket and they display selective amnesia about the truth, cause it hurts! Hmmph, ya know. (Close laptop, to finish watching Lemony Snicket with the Kids.)

 

[Irresistible]

Ok so I guess she feels patted on the back and justified to just go on now and say just like she said she has long hair when she compares herself to black girls. Whatever that means??. So some of ya'll really helped her perception and thinking??!! But then I guess some others posting on this thread have the same perception and thinking....I just dont know *shrugs* and really aint my problem to figure out

In my world I dont go around "feeling" like I got more hair than anyone or even comparing. Seems to me like its just another way to promote this dumb hair division between us all, now one can be superior or inferior over length. Jesus, where does it end? reallly

yeah but let me come on here and say some crap like that "when I compare myself to most black girls crap.....yeah right , folks would have my butt in a sling..Im sayin though!!!!! really!!!....and "some" of ya'll actually really just smoothed this over, glossed over it and everything, soothed her feelings and everything and and actually made those that spoke up and didnt promote that way of thinking the bad guys in this thread....wow, , yeah wow is all i really gotta say.

Throws mic down

I'm so done!

Now I'm turning of MY puter and, and not visiting this thread again and I aint eva gonna promote someone living by comparison of anyone or another's anything!. especially amongst us, well , You know "black girls" If I'm the bad guy now cause of that....oh freakin well

peace

 

[brownhaired_bonanza]

I compare my hair to others all the time. The way I have avoided obcessing (spelling?) about it? I haven't worn my hair down straight in 7 years. It's either in a ponytail, twists, an up-do, or curly wet-set. As my siggy says, I really don't know how long my hair is and i'm afraid that if find out its true length, I'll be disappointed. So i've decided just to keep myself in the dark about it over the years. When I see other women on the street with long hair, I think to myself "I wonder if my hair is that long?" or, "I believe my hair is about that length...." I think this when I see the beautiful album pics of the members here. But i leave it at that. My friends all ask my why I don't wear it down straight and I can't think of an answer that DOESN'T make me sound like a complete nut job. All i say is that "I don't like wearing it like that." Truth is, I'm afraid to.

Sorry to go OT.

 

[wyldcurlz]

VERY, VERY well stated Nubianqt86!! we do need to move past that, as i like to call it, "old skool thought" that we can't grow our hair. we need to move away from the "good hair/bad hair" notion. We all have good hair! And so long as we're alive, our hair will grow! And with proper treatment and care, it will grow to whatever beautiful length you want it to!

I kind of read your comment that way too. I don't think anyone is trying to get on your case, just want to understand what you meant. We/I could just be reading it wrong. Overall though, I do understand what you mean though. My hair is past my shoulders too, but I still consider it to be medium length. Some black girls at my school consider my hair to be long compared to others on campus. I think that the black community as a whole has been brainwashed about the lengths that we can and cannot achieve. With decent care we can have hair as long as others races. Being black doesn't mean we're ONLY capable of having hair to our shoulders, max.

 

[Irresistible]

GIRL!

Thats not even allowing yourself to live. If you want to wear it down, wear it down!! dont compare it to anyones, Your hair is your hair and will have it own unique beauty. a beauty all it own.

Now really in my world , I'm really not gettin all this mess. I try to enjoy my hair, because I know what its like to have almost lost it all. But I dont over obsess about it either , for the same reason. I Notice every head of hair. But not to compare. And If i see someone with damaged struggling hair, I want to help them!!! not feel superior to them or compare myself to them. I'm sorry but I just dont get this whole way of thinking. Maybe I just been through too much in my lifetime to go there

yes I have an online album, I'm on here and have my group. yes i have taken a ton of hair pics. But me in my daily life???? I'm low key and not bothering to obsess over my hair or anyone's else's. other than to make sure I take good care of it. My every day life? please my hair is in a bun and length is a non issue. I have been through all aspects of hair issues and victories at this point. and found out in the end really its only hair? it doesnt define us nor can we really use it as a way to feel superior or inferior, this thinking is ridiculous to me now. So there was no way in God's creation I at this point would pat someone on the back for the ill thinking and perception of comparing themselves to others. This is why I created this album
http://public.fotki.com/IRRISISTABLBTCH/lies_lies_lies/

Because I truly hate all hair division! I dont say it, I mean it! I cant believe this way of thinking just got smoothed over like that

anyway, girl, back to you...enjoy your hair , stop letting other's hair control and/or dictate how you see the beauty of your own hair God gave you!!! I mean it , its not even promised to still be there tommorow. Do what you want to with your hair!!!!

stop the madness ya'll

I compare my hair to others all the time. The way I have avoided obcessing (spelling?) about it? I haven't worn my hair down straight in 7 years. It's either in a ponytail, twists, an up-do, or curly wet-set. As my siggy says, I really don't know how long my hair is and i'm afraid that if find out its true length, I'll be disappointed. So i've decided just to keep myself in the dark about it over the years. When I see other women on the street with long hair, I think to myself "I wonder if my hair is that long?" or, "I believe my hair is about that length...." I think this when I see the beautiful album pics of the members here. But i leave it at that. My friends all ask my why I don't wear it down straight and I can't think of an answer that DOESN'T make me sound like a complete nut job. All i say is that "I don't like wearing it like that." Truth is, I'm afraid to.

Sorry to go OT.