If one more natural..............

[longhairlover]

No my relaxed hair is the same in my siggy pic, in the siggy pic it's stretched too with a lot of new growth.

Come on now i'm on here and i'm hair obsessed, my moms was a hair stylist in top nyc salons for 20 something years, there is no room for whack hair on my end, my moms would flip.

is that you in your sig? my name is spelled the same way. do you get the are you russian question a lot? I do and i'm sick of telling folks I know the name is russian!

Is your relaxed hair whack? Do you keep it done?

Maybe she was giving you dirty looks because, in her opinion, she generally thinks your hair is whack not because you wear a relaxer.

 

[longhairlover]

not in my case, my hair straightens easy with or without a fresh relaxer. I don't have to perm but I like my hair bone straight in the summer because I over heat with all this hair.

I attached new pics, one with hair flat ironed, one slightly still with curl from rollerset. I don't think my hair looks whack at all.

I was thinking the same thing. Transitioning can leave you looking like whodunit sometimes. People will look at your head like WTF IS GOING ON??!?!?! in a heart beat.

 

[prospurr4]

I don't look down on anyone, and no one looks down on me, either..if someone did, I wouldn't care anyway. Most of the time, people just stare at my hair, trying to determine whether my texlaxed tresses are natural, relaxed or weave...I find it hilarious!

 

[longhairlover]

yeah maybe the woman is not comfortable yet being natural, she looks like she's in the beginning stages.

i'm starting to get tired of always trying to have my hair long, I would love to swap my hair was always that length or a little longer in h.s.

Thank you! Can we swap? LOL! Because I love your hair.

That is terrible!!! I tend to look at other women with long hair, but I am generally admiring their hair, and may even go up to them and let them know how beautiful it is and ask where they get it done. I don't think it matters one bit if it is theirs, relaxed, pressed, or kinky. It's the ones who walk around looking jacked up that may get my brows to raising..but I would never show it.
Maybe they are a tad insecure....

 

[longhairlover]

yeah people are always trying to crack the code of our hair, but i've seen old pics of AA women with beautiful hair,

it is hilarious.

I don't look down on anyone, and no one looks down on me, either..if someone did, I wouldn't care anyway. Most of the time, people just stare at my hair, trying to determine whether my texlaxed tresses are natural, relaxed or weave...I find it hilarious!

 

[anon123]

possibly they were admiring, but I think this chick was for the evils lol!!! she had this shocked look, because outside of this site, their are chicks out there that feel black women can't have nice long hair.

Hmm, then maybe it was because you have long hair. I mean, it would be real tiring for a natural to look at relaxed heads of hair with disgust. That's most people! Just walk around mean mugging 3 out of 4 people? Probably something other than the fact that you're relaxed, I'd guess.

 

[ShaniKeys]

I haven't read the whole thread, but this is inspiring me to start a thread with pics of beautiful relaxed heads, is there such a thread already?

 

[longhairlover]

yeah maybe other reasons mwedzi.........

 

[Fleurzty]

I don't want to excuse anyone's behavior, but it is possible that she was a bit jealous of your length. Hair envy is a serious thing!

 

[longhairlover]

your right Fluerzty,

those type of folks hate all types of hair.

 

[beans08]

People who love their hair don't give a ish about how other people wear their hair. Even the "militants"

I love to see black women with beautiful hair, period. I have to agree with the previous poster, the biggest haters of my natural hair are the ones with jacklaxed hair. Jacklaxed is my new favorite word.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

Yes.

But, I only see women with jacklaxed hair. By that I mean, they have that dirty brown color you get form using chemicals too frequently, edges are gone, pony tail about this *snap* long, thin, dry, with big flakes of dandruff. Those are always the ones that say something about my hair as if I'm the one that looks crazy.

I have yet to see a healthy/pretty head of relaxed hair IRL. If I do, I'm sure I won't have my stank face on.

I am guilty of that too. If I see a woman with healthy relaxed hair, I admire it. Sadly, I rarely if ever see that. I only see what is described above.

 

[spinspinshuga]

People who love their hair don't give a ish about how other people wear their hair. Even the "militants"

I love to see black women with beautiful hair, period. I have to agree with the previous poster, the biggest haters of my natural hair are the ones with jacklaxed hair. Jacklaxed is my new favorite word.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with the use of that term! I didn't intend to mean naturals are militant; I just mean some militant women who happen natural have verbally abused me for being relaxed (er, texlaxed, or whatever,) that's all . Sorry about that!

 

[beans08]

I hope I didn't offend anyone with the use of that term! I didn't intend to mean naturals are militant; I just mean some militant women who happen natural have verbally abused me for being relaxed (er, texlaxed, or whatever,) that's all . Sorry about that!

Oh, it wasn't directed at you! I really meant that some women who really are militant about being natural still aren't truly happy with it, and will hate on a nice relaxed head.

It's all good!

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I've never looked down on relaxed ladies or weave wearing ones. I do have one relaxed girl though at my local drugstore that every time I check out with her she prints me off a coupon for $5 a relaxererplexed

 

[pringe]

Girl please! Whoever does that to u is a dam fool natural or not and I've been natural for 7 years! Some naturals (sorry guys, don't kill me) get a lil' extra when they just become a newbie and wanna hold up the natural banner so anyone that isn't down gets it. Its pretty silly cause i always appreciated a FLYY head of hair nat'l or relaxed. Don't even sweat it, keep on swinging ur hair and keep it moving! ur hair looks GREAT by the way!

 

[ShaniKeys]

Just here to promote the following thread:http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=338153

xxx

 

[PerplexingComplex]

I've never looked down on relaxed ladies or weave wearing ones. I do have one relaxed girl though at my local drugstore that every time I check out with her she prints me off a coupon for $5 a relaxererplexed

People are so rude for no reason. I can actually imagine someone doing that and thinking that they're helping you out.

OT: It maybe because you have long, healthy hair. You know some people dislike others for having what they want to achieve.

 

[prospurr4]

I've never looked down on relaxed ladies or weave wearing ones. I do have one relaxed girl though at my local drugstore that every time I check out with her she prints me off a coupon for $5 a relaxererplexed

I actually said, "No!" out loud after I read the bolded part. Some people...

 

[1babydimple]

I'm natural and I look down on no one realxed, texlaxed or whatever. It's not for me and I like you i don't care as long as you take care of your hair and it's looks good. it's just like the women with the jacked up weave calling me a nappyheaded ho*

Yes sir that cracks me UP!! Jacked up from the floor up and have the nerve to talk about someone else.

 

[ShaniKeys]

To the Naturals do you look down on women with relaxed hair?

Nope, not really. I used a relaxer on my hair from the age of 8 to 21. I have a preference for thick, long, luscious, beautiful, shiny hair - natural or relaxed. I just wished that black people would be benefiting from the 'relaxed hair industry', that would make me much more happier.

 

[amwcah]

I'm relaxed. I admire natural head ladies when I see them. I ask them questions and share my aspirations and fears of going natural.

It seems like there is always something that will divide us (Africans vs. African Americans vs. Black, light skinned vs. dark skinned, short hair vs. long hair, etc...).

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Okay I KNOW some naturals look down on relaxed heads. Last semester I wore my hair out flat ironed and it looked like a relaxer w/ sabino on it. The other natural in class didn't know I was and kept giving me that stank look. Now my hair isn't in bad shape, no chewed on ends, it was on point. One day I didn't and had my hair cornrowed and freshly washed and the girl w/ the stank face was like oooh you're natural and why do you straighten your hair? I was like because I want to and that was the end of that conversation. I am actually considering getting a relaxer and I've mentioned it in some threads and I've had naturals pming me not to do it. Some from the stand point of health of hair (relaxed hair damages easier) and some from the whole how could you stand point. I've been natural for over five years and I'm tired of nots and seven hour wash days, but I still love natural hair. And I don't care if someone is natural or not, I don't care. But I'm not one to give people the stank face anyways about anything because it's none of my business if your hair looks like a chihuahua or like a stringy mess or gorgeous. What's that got to do with me? If you asked, that's another question but I don't go around smirking, trying to feel superior to others because of what I wear, or how I'm looking, or how their looking, or....you get the point.

On the other hand their are plenty of people w/ relaxers shaking their heads at naturals. And I definitely KNOW it works both ways. "Why you wanna go and do that?" I've heard many times, especially when I buzzed off all my relaxer, and head shakes, and disgust. so I know it works both ways.

But I did want to state for the record that naturals do it too. It's this weird superiority complex like we're better than you because we're staying true, and the other side is like we're better than you because we are relaxed blah blah blah.

I don't think it's true for everyone, but it DOES exist and I'm not going to be blind to that.

 

[longhairlover]

I think what some of you said about being a newly natural person you are proud and are extra serious about being natural, i mean that's all good but don't give my hair dirty looks lol!!!!

 

[longhairlover]

I don't know where ya'll are seeing the jacklaxed (still cracking up on that one) and relaxed hair, in harlem I have seen so many healthy relaxed heads, but then their are so many cheap but good dominican salons in harlem.

 

[msa]

But I did want to state for the record that naturals do it too. It's this weird superiority complex like we're better than you because we're staying true, and the other side is like we're better than you because we are relaxed blah blah blah.

I admitted that I do give the stank face to relaxed heads. I can't help it. But, I have NEVER gone up to a relaxed stranger and said, "how can you go out with your hair like that? you need to comb it. You should just BC and start all over again. You would be so much prettier." I only respond after some lady with to' back relaxed hair says something ridiculous to me and I've never had a relaxer.

I have had relaxed/weaved sisters come up to me and say, "How can you wear your hair nappy like that? You need to comb it. You should just put some relaxer on it and start all over. You would be so much prettier."

So yeah, naturals are guilty of the looks but so are relaxed heads. I'm not so interested in what's going on with other people's heads that I need to say something or try to convince them to be natural.

 

[longhairlover]

wow I don't think anyone has the right to judge someone because they are natural, and give them freaking coupons for a perm. I don't care if anyone feels like they are better because they are natural because that is the person's prerogative.

and yeah there will be no getting along we'll always find something to keep division between the race.

 

[*Muffin*]

Some people just have a superiority complex. They have a need to look down on others. Most of the time it's out of jealousy and/or insecurity on their part. They probably envy the fact that your relaxed hair looks so healthy. I know a lot of naturals get the same stares from relax heads in real life. There's a hater born every minute. Just brush them off and keep rockin' your hair how you like it .

 

[newflowers]

I don't know about other parts of the country, but here in so cal, there is a distinct lack of solidarity and a great deal of catty, spiteful competitive, nastiness among black women. Hair, skin, skin color be it lighter, darker, or in between, job, education -the list is endless. It's like there's some list of what is acceptable "blackness" - the music listened to, the "ghetto-ness" or lack thereof. Twleve years of teaching inner-city high school, and I'm still referred to as " you know, that English teacher who sounds like she's white" like the education I struggled and fought to attain is a bleach spot on my cultural traditions and ethnicity.

Why can't we all just get along is such a cliche, but it seems to me that, as a group, black women can command a great deal of societal, political, and economic power, yet we allow petty b.s differences such as hair straightness or the lack and such nonesense sideline us from reaching our potential as individuals and as a group.

Okay - I'm finished now and climbing down from my soapbox.

 

[msa]

...and such nonesense sideline us from reaching our potential as individuals and as a group.

I know this is taking it deeper than it really needs to go but...I've always wondered if the fact that black women continue to actively destroy a part of ourselves that sets us apart is one of the many things that stop us from reaching our potential. How can we truly have solidarity as a group/community/interpersonally when we can't even be secure in our own hair individuality?

I know relaxing is not that serious...at least on the surface. But I've always wondered if it speaks to something deeper. Especially since for so many generations of women choosing not to get a relaxer isn't even considered a viable option.

Just pondering things.