If you don't want long hair or believe your hair will grow why are you here?

[SparklingFlame]

Just thumbing through some of these threads I just have to ask: If you don't want long hair, are tired of extensive hair routines and products, and/or you don't believe your hair will grow why are you here?

Why pay your 5 bucks a year and waste your time reading threads if you don't believe in the fundamental concepts that this board is founded upon.

Honestly, with all the beautiful progress picks showing quick and lovely growth and the women on the board with long beautiful hair of ALL types is there really any reason to doubt.

Yet, no one chained you to the key board at this site. If you don't like the concept or don't agree then move along to something else.

No one is paying for the stereotypes and negativity. To me this board has always been about breaking black hair stereotypes. And it's simply about learning about different products and techniques that are working for others.

So if you're not feeling the long hair game or this board then move along. But don't piss on the parade of those of us who are here to learn and share in a positive way.

Chayil

Ummm...yeah. You hit the nail on the head.

 

[Sistaslick]

Enchantment gives the best mod responses that I have seen. They are very calm and insightful....

ITA. She has a very pleasant personality that shines through her posts..

 

[DivaRox]

As I said earlier, I dont have a problem with this thread. I'm trying to prevent it from turning ugly so it doesnt end up getting locked and/or removed. I dont have a problem with you questioning Blosss' opinion, tho I did wonder why you didnt do it in the original thread, tho I figured you were trying not to make it a personal issue with her, there is no way the folx on this board wasnt going to come to the conclusion it was in response to her thread, regardless of whether or not that's true.

I understand and agree that post's like blosssoms can be discouraging, and I will say what I said then when she touched upon this in another thread a while back. Black people (curly haired folx in general) may or may not be destined to have long hair. However, since we have been practicing bad technqiues for so long, (washing once a month, heavy greases and pomades that clog hair and coat hair to prevent proper moisture over time, improper use of heat and chemicals, harsh detergents, fungus from wigs and weaves, poor nutrition, lack of protection, etc)we dont know what the potential or norm for our hair is with proper care, and I'm not speaking of the extremes of growth aids etc. Until we have large numbers of black folx practicing proper hair care, relaxed or natural, we wont know or see the progress. Even in 2007 we have folx that say they wash their hair 1x a month before coming here or have family who tell them their hair will break off if they wash it more than once a month. The knowledge is not well spread and until the 100th monkey gets it, we wont know or see the potential of healthy black hair en masse. (no the 100th monkey isnt a slight at black folx...google it... disclaimer for folx who would see "monkey" and freak out )

This makes so much sense. There's still the widespread miseducation that has to be eradicated before we can truly assess what "our" hair growing potential is. I considered myself highly knowledgeable before January(found the board)but have come upon and been amazed by so many new yet simple ways to care for hair and retain length. You don't know that 'you don't know' until you know, then you have that aha moment.

 

[destiny616]

You don't have to justify your reasons for being here. It wasn't an actual question sort of rhetorical if you will. However, we are glad to have you here.

i know it was rhetorical but i felt like answering, it's no big deal, i didn't take it personally just offering a different perspective, that's all

thank you

 

[SparklingFlame]

Honestly, I think some opinions need to be attacked. When someone gets on the board and very rudely expresses ignorant opinions that are totally against the principles that this board is founded on they need to be called out.

There are people out there lurking on this board who are on the fence as to rather or not they can ever have longer healthier hair. Then they get on and read some mess like that. It's discouraging. This board is all about ENGOURAGING people to love their hair, set goals for themselves, and enjoy the process of achieving their goals.

In the real world we all get negativity about black hair everywhere we go. People checking for tracks and asking us if we're mixed or saying we shouldn't use "white" products on our hair.

We shouldn't have to get on the forum and read those same ignorant ideas. This is a place for fun, love, support, and encouragement. And I'd be more than happy to attack anyone who posts anything different.

Chayil

Ummm....yeah. You hit the nail on the head again. Lock of Love, I was thinking the same exact thing as you when no mod came into the other thread and in the old one that you bumped.

 

[VroniL2006]

THANK you from the bottom of my heart for saying this. My voice may be drowned out by the fact that some consider me a "trouble maker." But I am glad to see other members feel the same.

There is a difference from having an opinion and telling someone they cant do something. I read the post by Blossom and I wasnt feeling it, so I moved on to other post. However, if I was a newbie and that was one of the first postings that I read, then I probably would not have come back to this forum and I would have missed out on all of the great tips and advice this forum has to offer.

Its ok to play the devil advocate sometime, but to constantly drag down others because you arent reaching your goals is wrong. We all get frustrated, but thats why I for one come here, to get remotivated. I love this site for all of the postivity that comes from it.

 

[audacity.]

I saw the other thread in question - way to much negativity for me to deal. I was out of there.

But Locks - where is your controversial issue? I can't find it.

MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY!!!!

ETA: I'm here b/c i want long healthy hair

 

[facets]

As I said earlier, I dont have a problem with this thread. I'm trying to prevent it from turning ugly so it doesnt end up getting locked and/or removed. I dont have a problem with you questioning Blosss' opinion, tho I did wonder why you didnt do it in the original thread, tho I figured you were trying not to make it a personal issue with her, there is no way the folx on this board wasnt going to come to the conclusion it was in response to her thread, regardless of whether or not that's true.

I understand and agree that post's like blosssoms can be discouraging, and I will say what I said then when she touched upon this in another thread a while back. Black people (curly haired folx in general) may or may not be destined to have long hair. However, since we have been practicing bad technqiues for so long, (washing once a month, heavy greases and pomades that clog hair and coat hair to prevent proper moisture over time, improper use of heat and chemicals, harsh detergents, fungus from wigs and weaves, poor nutrition, lack of protection, etc)we dont know what the potential or norm for our hair is with proper care, and I'm not speaking of the extremes of growth aids etc. Until we have large numbers of black folx practicing proper hair care, relaxed or natural, we wont know or see the progress. Even in 2007 we have folx that say they wash their hair 1x a month before coming here or have family who tell them their hair will break off if they wash it more than once a month. The knowledge is not well spread and until the 100th monkey gets it, we wont know or see the potential of healthy black hair en masse. (no the 100th monkey isnt a slight at black folx...google it... disclaimer for folx who would see "monkey" and freak out )

 

[cmw45]

This thread IS JUST AS divisive as any other "negative" one I've read. I'm just over here shaking my damn head (yes I said it, didn't do this "smdh") at all of this. Every bit. Just shaking my head....

With one key exception...the woman who started this thread didn't start it with the sole intention of subverting the goals of many women (not all) of the women on this board.

I would say the other thread in question amounts to going on to a site where all of the members dreams are to make it to the Olympics in swimming and who offer each other encouraging advice on how to shave down their times and then posting: "Most of the people aren't ever going to make it to the Olympics anyway, especially you people with short arms...I'm just sayin." So what if they aren't ever going to make it to the Olympics...it gives them something to work towards...and in the meantime they just might make it to nationals. As long as they are enjoying what they do, why do you care? I mean really?

I think the biggest problem with the thread in question is the tact that was used both in creating it and in the responses that were given to posters by the OP. I mean, if your goal is really to educate or create constructive discussion, why belittle people who question your position. The first few posters were incredibly civil and the OP just made fun of them.

 

[Enchantmt]

ITA. She has a very pleasant personality that shines through her posts..

Awww, thanx SistaSlick and BOA05!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

With one key exception...the woman who started this thread didn't start it with the sole intention of subverting the goals of many women (not all) of the women on this board.

I would say the other thread in question amounts to going on to a site where all of the members dreams are to make it to the Olympics in swimming and who offer each other encouraging advice on how to shave down their times and then posting: "Most of the people aren't ever going to make it to the Olympics anyway, especially you people with short arms...I'm just sayin." So what if they aren't ever going to make it to the Olympics...it gives them something to work towards...and in the meantime they just might make it to nationals. As long as they are enjoying what they do, why do you care? I mean really?

I think the biggest problem with the thread in question is the tact that was used both in creating it and in the responses that were given to posters by the OP. I mean, if your goal is really to educate or create constructive discussion, why belittle people who question your position. The first few posters were incredibly civil and the OP just made fun of them.

I feel you and can see where you are coming from. Honestly I do. I think that both main topics (this one and the other) have stirred feelings (positive and negative) for many. I just don't need to hear (ok read LOL) how one is sick of this and that and start a thread when you could have just said it elsewhere. Then we have 50-11 members posting and cosigning and such. I didn't get pissy in the first thread because I was legitimately trying to understand where she was coming from and in a sense I read between the lines and didn't take everything she said literally. Members can agree with what she said, disagree, hate her, lover her, WHATEVER but to start another thread that is kind of in a backwords way in my opinion again dividing those here to really understand just seems kind of, I don't know....

I did promise to shut up and not post again in these threads. Half the time I can't really relate how I feel into words that will make sense anyway. I am officially done.

 

[Tee]

Well said. I am just sick of the drama about who can't grow what.

What's in the air? Is it a full moon? gheesh erplexed

 

[*Michelle*]

People were sending you PMs about that thread? I did not realize people took it that seriously.

Girl, yes, people were on FIYAH you hear me...asking me who I thought I was and all I didn't know I had to be "somebody" to post a question I didn't even respond to the negative pm's...why???

Ella, you did not offend me. Honestly, no body offended me. I was just surprised
at the backlash

Maybe one day I'll be somebody...

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Girl, yes, people were on FIYAH you hear me...asking me who I thought I was and all I didn't know I had to be "somebody" to post a question I didn't even respond to the negative pm's...why???

Ella, you did not offend me. Honestly, no body offended me. I was just surprised
at the backlash

Maybe one day I'll be somebody...

Aww, you ARE somebody

ETA: and don't sweat it. I am "no one" as well and I'm sure there are back and forth pm's going on about me as well. Whatev!!!!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Well said. I am just sick of the drama about who can't grow what.

What's in the air? Is it a full moon? gheesh erplexed

Must be something huh?

Ok, I swear that is it.....

 

[Tee]

Must be something huh?

Ok, I swear that is it.....

I am going to your number.... I am just shaking my damn head. Yes, I spelled it out. (no smdh)

 

[Proudpiscean]

Well said. I am just sick of the drama about who can't grow what.

What's in the air? Is it a full moon? gheesh erplexed

Okay! There is a lot of mess goin on up in here tonight! *peeps out window to see the moon* erplexed

 

[MochaSilk]

There is a difference from having an opinion and telling someone they cant do something. I read the post by Blossom and I wasnt feeling it, so I moved on to other post. However, if I was a newbie and that was one of the first postings that I read, then I probably would not have come back to this forum and I would have missed out on all of the great tips and advice this forum has to offer.

Its ok to play the devil advocate sometime, but to constantly drag down others because you arent reaching your goals is wrong. We all get frustrated, but thats why I for one come here, to get remotivated. I love this site for all of the postivity that comes from it.

ITA with this entire post.

I found this story online. I've heard different versions of this stories as a child, but I like this one for today.

Discouragement - A Tool of the Devil
By: Author Unknown
Once upon a time it was announced that the devil was going out of business and would sell all his equipment to those who were willing to pay the price.

On the big day of the sale, all his tools were attractively displayed. There were Envy, Jealousy, Hatred, Malice, Deceit, Sensuality, Pride, Idolatry, and other implements of evil display. Each of the tools was marked with its own price tag.

Over in the corner by itself was a harmless looking, wedge-shaped tool very much worn, but still it bore a higher price than any of the others. Someone asked the devil what it was, and he answered, "That is Discouragement."

The next question came quickly, "And why is it priced so high even though it is plain to see that it is worn more than these others?"

"Because," replied the devil, "It is more useful to me than all these others. I can pry open and get into a man's heart with that when I cannot get near him with any other tools. Once I get inside, I can use him in whatever way suits me best. It is worn well because I use it on everybody I can, and few people even know it belongs to me."

This tool was priced so high that no one could buy it, and to this day it has never been sold. It still belongs to the devil, and he still uses it on mankind.

 

[*Michelle*]

Aww, you ARE somebody

ETA: and don't sweat it. I am "no one" as well and I'm sure there are back and forth pm's going on about me as well. Whatev!!!!

awww...how sweet of you! We're all someone, huh?? I was trying to be facetious, though...I failed at that too huh!?

Okay, I'm in a silly mood now...I need to leave this thread.

 

[*Michelle*]

I am going to your number.... I am just shaking my damn head. Yes, I spelled it out. (no smdh)

I'm glad you did, cuz I sure didn't know what it meant...

 

[DivaRox]

awww...how sweet of you! We're all someone, huh?? I was trying to be facetious, though...I failed at that too huh!?

Okay, I'm in a silly mood now...I need to leave this thread.

NO, I got it-You're one of those dry folx like me huh?

 

[patient1]

Good share TBeBe! I'll share that with my daughters!

p1

 

[*Michelle*]

NO, I got it-You're one of those dry folx like me huh?

roflolpimp!! I've never been called dry before, but I guess I was on that one

 

[PinkPeony]

Aww, you ARE somebody

ETA: and don't sweat it. I am "no one" as well and I'm sure there are back and forth pm's going on about me as well. Whatev!!!!

Yes you sure are Pixel
You know there are Bre... I'm the worst offender too.

Honestly I'm surprised by y'alls stamina... this is a long thread

 

[CurleeDST]

the devil is a liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITA with this entire post.

I found this story online. I've heard different versions of this stories as a child, but I like this one for today.

Discouragement - A Tool of the Devil
By: Author Unknown
Once upon a time it was announced that the devil was going out of business and would sell all his equipment to those who were willing to pay the price.

On the big day of the sale, all his tools were attractively displayed. There were Envy, Jealousy, Hatred, Malice, Deceit, Sensuality, Pride, Idolatry, and other implements of evil display. Each of the tools was marked with its own price tag.

Over in the corner by itself was a harmless looking, wedge-shaped tool very much worn, but still it bore a higher price than any of the others. Someone asked the devil what it was, and he answered, "That is Discouragement."

The next question came quickly, "And why is it priced so high even though it is plain to see that it is worn more than these others?"

"Because," replied the devil, "It is more useful to me than all these others. I can pry open and get into a man's heart with that when I cannot get near him with any other tools. Once I get inside, I can use him in whatever way suits me best. It is worn well because I use it on everybody I can, and few people even know it belongs to me."

This tool was priced so high that no one could buy it, and to this day it has never been sold. It still belongs to the devil, and he still uses it on mankind.

 

[Cayenne0622]

Just thumbing through some of these threads I just have to ask: If you don't want long hair, are tired of extensive hair routines and products, and/or you don't believe your hair will grow why are you here?

Why pay your 5 bucks a year and waste your time reading threads if you don't believe in the fundamental concepts that this board is founded upon.

Honestly, with all the beautiful progress picks showing quick and lovely growth and the women on the board with long beautiful hair of ALL types is there really any reason to doubt.

Yet, no one chained you to the key board at this site. If you don't like the concept or don't agree then move along to something else.

No one is paying for the stereotypes and negativity. To me this board has always been about breaking black hair stereotypes. And it's simply about learning about different products and techniques that are working for others.

So if you're not feeling the long hair game or this board then move along. But don't piss on the parade of those of us who are here to learn and share in a positive way.

Chayil

I'ma beat you!!lolol I just finished reading 40+ pages of another thread and now I gotsta read this one.......lol......but it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

 

[sugarose]

Just thumbing through some of these threads I just have to ask: If you don't want long hair, are tired of extensive hair routines and products, and/or you don't believe your hair will grow why are you here?

Why pay your 5 bucks a year and waste your time reading threads if you don't believe in the fundamental concepts that this board is founded upon.

Honestly, with all the beautiful progress picks showing quick and lovely growth and the women on the board with long beautiful hair of ALL types is there really any reason to doubt.

Yet, no one chained you to the key board at this site. If you don't like the concept or don't agree then move along to something else.

No one is paying for the stereotypes and negativity. To me this board has always been about breaking black hair stereotypes. And it's simply about learning about different products and techniques that are working for others.

So if you're not feeling the long hair game or this board then move along. But don't piss on the parade of those of us who are here to learn and share in a positive way.

Chayil

Thank You!!! Why would someone even try to enforce those stereotypes here anyways?? If you don't believe it (even though it's been proven time and time again on this board) then fine, but it's not necessary to try and discourage others.

 

[tsiporah]

Just thumbing through some of these threads I just have to ask: If you don't want long hair, are tired of extensive hair routines and products, and/or you don't believe your hair will grow why are you here?

Why pay your 5 bucks a year and waste your time reading threads if you don't believe in the fundamental concepts that this board is founded upon.

Honestly, with all the beautiful progress picks showing quick and lovely growth and the women on the board with long beautiful hair of ALL types is there really any reason to doubt.

Yet, no one chained you to the key board at this site. If you don't like the concept or don't agree then move along to something else.

No one is paying for the stereotypes and negativity. To me this board has always been about breaking black hair stereotypes. And it's simply about learning about different products and techniques that are working for others.

So if you're not feeling the long hair game or this board then move along. But don't piss on the parade of those of us who are here to learn and share in a positive way.

Chayil

Straight forward and to the point.
Tsiporah

 

[carcajada]

I'm here, and I want my hair to grow.

BUT

SOME WOMEN here frequent the OT and ENT. boards, and you only see them really on the hair board if the others are down.

Right. Remeber the siggy issue?

 

[Sistaslick]

With one key exception...the woman who started this thread didn't start it with the sole intention of subverting the goals of many women (not all) of the women on this board.

I would say the other thread in question amounts to going on to a site where all of the members dreams are to make it to the Olympics in swimming and who offer each other encouraging advice on how to shave down their times and then posting: "Most of the people aren't ever going to make it to the Olympics anyway, especially you people with short arms...I'm just sayin." So what if they aren't ever going to make it to the Olympics...it gives them something to work towards...and in the meantime they just might make it to nationals. As long as they are enjoying what they do, why do you care? I mean really?

I think the biggest problem with the thread in question is the tact that was used both in creating it and in the responses that were given to posters by the OP. I mean, if your goal is really to educate or create constructive discussion, why belittle people who question your position. The first few posters were incredibly civil and the OP just made fun of them.

ITA. I mean, I'd never go on a morbidly obesed weight loss forum with my trim little self and tell people that they aren't meant to be thinner so give up the shennanigans because they have genetics working against them. How would it look if I said "Yeah, look at all these trim folks around you-- they aren't eating healthy, running laps, and doing crunches all day long and they still weigh less than you! But look at you! Struggling just tryin' to lose a couple of pounds. Half of y'all have been on the forum trying to lose weight for years and you STILL FAT! Some of those people are going to have to work harder than the average Joe for what they want, and while some may never see a size 6 from where they are-- in the process they've still grown healthier and have made progress above what they had before. The same thing with our hair. It may never touch the floor, but it may have improved by leaps and bounds above what it was before.

Newbies are impressionable. I certainly was. If I saw a post by a member who'd been around the block a bit-- I was all ears. Their words were gold. If I'd seen a thread by a seasoned member who said the equivalent of Face it folks why are we even trying? All this and we still aren't keeping up with Becky and Samantha 'nem. I would feel discouraged. If she's been here all this time and believes this and have 50-leven cosigners, I have friends and family who spew out the same, then what is the point of me even bothering here?