I'm So Tired Of Fake Hair

[Brwnbeauti]

I love a good weave, but those are few and far between in real life. I'm in Onyc 3c/4a, 14inch. No one knows it's a weave. Every time I want to wear straight weave I feel off, like it's wrong. Plus I don't have time to blend.
And people always want what they don't have. I want my sisters super thick resilient 4b/4c hair and she wants my fine 4a hair.

 

[Autumn~Tint~Of~Gold]

awwwww maaaannn... you feel you always have to have on some sort of makeup on even at home to be competitive for your man? That sounds like a lot of work. That feeling of constant competition would have me .

Really?
I thought that was perfectly normal
Not heavy makeup but a little bit of something, hair had to look pretty and flattering house clothes at least. I just cannot let my husband see me completely messed up the way I look when I'm by myself . I won't even do my hair in front of him.
But I grew up in NYC too so maybe vanity was forced into me lol.

 

[Autumn~Tint~Of~Gold]

I'm not trying to encourage 'bad behavior', I'm simply elucidating the pro black portion of the equation. When I get to my farm in Vermont, I'll rock my natural hair with no thought as to how it affects my social capital.

I bet you won't. Old habits die hard .
I'm just as vain as I was in the city if not worse. Actually I'm worse now
The main difference here is that women appreciate me more. in NYC it was mainly only men who paid attention to me or at least did so verbally. I'm not fashionable enough to impress NYC women. Here, women get excited too .

 

[CodeRed]

Just thinking out loud here but I've always thought when we wear our natural texture out and healthy, that's when we really compete with other ethnicities when it comes to hair. I've never gotten hair envy from WW and Latinas over my straight weave but I have over my natural hair. Indian women don't seem to care enough either way to comment. I think they are solid in their own beauty standards.

I mean not to be shady or anything but out of the 3 you listed they should be

 

[Mahogony7]

Very interesting thread.

Reminds me of my Nepalese coworker asking if my hair was real. I told her yes and she said she thought that ALL black girls ha short hair.

Because all of her black friends had short hair and talked about how much they hated their hair.

I explained that I love my hair and it is long and longer than her's. All this time she thought my hair wasn't mine.

Meanwhile a white male coworker is sitting by and he randomly asks do I cover my hair at night. And last week he ask me about locks.

 

[LiftedUp]

I have 'house makeup', a bit of Mac tinted moisturizer and liner/ mascara that keeps me 'interesting'.

Random but last weekend I had my bf driving me around to run errands and we unexpectedly stopped by his cousin's house since we were in the neighborhood. She came to the door I'm cute house clothes and light make up, offered us beverages in her extremely clean and neat sitting area, then took me out to the back so I could meet the dogs. The dogs were in their "kennel" that was really like a mini living room. I felt less guilty about them being locked up . I was like this the entire time. I thought to myself, liftedup you gotta do better!

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Is this what it's coming down to for black women? We have to rely on wigs and weaves to look presentable? A lot of us, including myself have had to grab a wig, for that very reason. We gotta rely on weave to work out, we gotta rely on weave to look decent for work, we don't have time to deal with our own hair..

Not for me, the only people that seem to have an issue with natural hair are older black women. No one else has made a disparaging comment to me about hair professionalism. I also work an HR and I'm ready to sue a **** that tries it with me.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

I mean not to be shady or anything but out of the 3 you listed they should be

Lol! Why do you say that? I'm very interested in other bw's experience with Indian women when it comes to the topic of beauty. I haven't seen/experienced anything noteworthy.

 

[Pygmy_puff]

I love a good weave, but those are few and far between in real life. I'm in Onyc 3c/4a, 14inch. No one knows it's a weave. Every time I want to wear straight weave I feel off, like it's wrong. Plus I don't have time to blend.
And people always want what they don't have. I want my sisters super thick resilient 4b/4c hair and she wants my fine 4a hair.

I just got my first sew in and I LOVE it! It looks just like my hair (except a little longer and fuller) and I can style it just like my hair. I got the Yvonne kinky curly hair from Aliexpress. How do you like the Onyc so far? I'm not sure if this Ali hair will last through multiple installs.

I think weave is great, so long as it similar to your relaxed or natural texture. If you try to blend kinky hair with silky Cambodian/Indian/whatever, you and your hair are going to have a bad time. Our hair is most beautiful when it is healthy and taken care of. There's something so freeing about embracing your natural beauty instead of fighting to look like something you are not and could never be.

 

[LdyKamz]

Not for me, the only people that seem to have an issue with natural hair are older black women. No one else has mad a disparaging comment to me about hair professionalism. I also work an HR and I'm ready to sue a **** that tries it with me.

I have found this to be true in my experience too. It's strange because I always hear about older women in higher positions with twa's or something easy. But somehow all of the older BW I've worked with feel this way. Most of them are polite with their judgment and say things like my hair is cute but they would never wear their hair like that. One woman told me flat out that she loved my hair and she was encouraging her daughter to go natural but then said even though she thinks it's unprofessional for our environment but her daughter was in entertainment or something. Can we say backhanded shady arse compliment? While she stood there in her lopsided synthetic wig. Nevermind the fact that her hair underneath was super thin with no edges to speak of.

The thing is I don't mind straight hair, weaves, wigs, clip ins or fake hair at all. My sister is a big wig and weave wearer. She uses them as a crutch (alopecia issues that seriously aren't getting any better with this habit and she knows it) but hell if her hair don't look banging. Always very pretty.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

To each his own but I've never worn a weave, lace front nor do I own a wig. I love my hair too much to not look at it everyday. I just have to be in it, whether it is applying my moisturizers, combing or styling it, I just cannot go long periods without no interaction with my hair. I've worn box braids and I vowed not to install them in my head anymore because even though my hair grew, I didn't learn how to take care of it.

ITA. Now that I professionally bleached my hair, I can't do box braids or even think about weaves.

 

[nothidden]

I have never worn weave, wig, nor beat my face. My hair has been natural since '95, and the most makeup I put on is very thin eyeliner (which I forget to apply most of the time) and lip stick/gloss. I am very "what you see is what you get" because that is what I want to attract. I could never understand how women could do all of that 'extra' and not feel fake. I would absolutely hate myself in it. I wouldn't feel like me.

It all reminds me of a powerful pic I saw of a painted on white-face (mask) being peeled from a black woman's face; and a quote "Vogue on the outside; vague on the inside".

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

The poster said she was standing next to an Indian woman. Now you are both in the mirror...
Come on now. I chuckle at white ladies with their tans and big fake lips.

You call me insecure for taking that indian virgin out of my head. I call you delusional for not considering the reality of it all.

I must be the only one that doesn't give af what people think. I'd be in the bathroom with that Indian woman fixing and flipping my hair knowing my bought her was better quality then the dry arse hair growing out of her head . I've I made a decision to do something different with my look, I'm not worried what people that don't matter think. **** them.

 

[CodeRed]

Lol! Why do you say that? I'm very interested in other bw's experience with Indian women when it comes to the topic of beauty. I haven't seen/experienced anything noteworthy.

I just really think that Indian women are the most naturally beautiful and have the most coveted features (skin color, hair, eyes, etc) of the 3 you listed. Obviously not all of them are lookers (all of what group is?) but next time you are in an Indian-dense area, look at the women. I don't mean Google, I mean real life. Their eye/eyebrow shape, lips, skin color, hair, even the shape of their faces. Compare the average Indian woman to the average Latina or white woman you see. Also, most of the Indian women I've been around have a calmness about them, especially in the presence of men. That reminds me of Asian women. They can be super crazy (think throwing acid on your daughter-in-law because she's leaving your son) but every culture has crazies They do have skin preference issues (preferring lighter women in entertainment) as a group but they have a right to be very confident since it seems a lot of the developed world (inside and outside of entertainment) is gearing towards other standards of beauty than just white.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I just got my first sew in and I LOVE it! It looks just like my hair (except a little longer and fuller) and I can style it just like my hair. I got the Yvonne kinky curly hair from Aliexpress. How do you like the Onyc so far? I'm not sure if this Ali hair will last through multiple installs.

I think weave is great, so long as it similar to your relaxed or natural texture. If you try to blend kinky hair with silky Cambodian/Indian/whatever, you and your hair are going to have a bad time. Our hair is most beautiful when it is healthy and taken care of. There's something so freeing about embracing your natural beauty instead of fighting to look like something you are not and could never be.

I have a love hate relationship with it. I've had one of the bundles since 2014. I bought another this year because I was kinda rough on it the first time around. It's kinda high maintenance but the quality and texture is great

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

I just really think that Indian women are the most naturally beautiful and have the most coveted features (skin color, hair, eyes, etc) of the 3 you listed. Obviously not all of them are lookers (all of what group is?) but next time you are in an Indian-dense area, look at the women. I don't mean Google, I mean real life. Their eye/eyebrow shape, lips, skin color, hair, even the shape of their faces. Compare the average Indian woman to the average Latina or white woman you see. Also, most of the Indian women I've been around have a calmness about them, especially in the presence of men. That reminds me of Asian women. They can be super crazy (think throwing acid on your daughter-in-law because she's leaving your son) but every culture has crazies They do have skin preference issues (preferring lighter women in entertainment) as a group but they have a right to be very confident since it seems a lot of the developed world (inside and outside of entertainment) is gearing towards other standards of beauty than just white.

Really?

I think black women stunt on everyone. Most Indian women I've seen can't hold a candle to an African woman.

 

[CodeRed]

Really?

I think black women stunt on everyone. Most Indian women I've seen can't hold a candle to an African woman.

I just really think that Indian women are the most naturally beautiful and have the most coveted features (skin color, hair, eyes, etc) of the 3 you listed....Compare the average Indian woman to the average Latina or white woman you see.

 

[Evolving78]

Really?

I think black women stunt on everyone. Most Indian women I've seen can't hold a candle to an African woman.

But we stay wanting to wear their hair...that's an oxymoron.

 

[Carrie A]

That's all I see. It's a crutch. Put on this drag makeup, wear gaudy lashes, sew in a pound of weave, etc.. nothing natural looking anymore. I believe drag culture has completely taken over.

 

[NaturallyATLPCH]

This is an interesting thread. I have never been able to wear sew ins, etc. because my scalp needs to breathe. My head is too big for a wig.

I do wear Marley twists and braids to give my hair a break at times, but now that I've mastered bunning, fake hair period is starting to get old to me. This may be my last set of box braids, as Marley twists look more natural and are easy to take down.

More than likely, in the future, I'll abandon fake hair altogether. I do agree with fake hair being very obvious nowadays.

 

[LiftedUp]

Really?

I think black women stunt on everyone. Most Indian women I've seen can't hold a candle to an African woman.

I agree. On top of that they'll never heap those types of praises on us.

 

[LiftedUp]

But we stay wanting to wear their hair...that's an oxymoron.

They stay wanting their hair too . The full thick shiny hair are in many instances pieces.

 

[CodeRed]

I agree. On top of that they'll never heap those types of praises on us.

I guess there's more than one person who chooses to read what they want

 

[Black Ambrosia]

Aside from the Bollywood actress and a woman I know, I rarely see them as attractive.

 

[LdyKamz]

I guess there's more than one person who chooses to read what they want

I imagine it's the detail in which you praised them. I Thought I knew what you were responding to because I read your previous response and the person you quoted. However, after reading your post I did have to go back and re-read the original exchange because even though you said most beautiful out of the 3 it did come off as most beautiful and coveted in general. lol I mean their calmness around men and all that? What does that have to do with what we're talking about in here?

 

[CodeRed]

I imagine it's the detail in which you praised them. I Thought I knew what you were responding to because I read your previous response and the person you quoted. However, after reading your post I did have to go back and re-read the original exchange because even though you said most beautiful out of the 3 it did come off as most beautiful and coveted in general. lol I mean their calmness around men and all that? What does that have to do with what we're talking about in here?

Well if you read what the original comment was by that poster, she asked me

Lol! Why do you say that? I'm very interested in other bw's experience with Indian women when it comes to the topic of beauty. I haven't seen/experienced anything noteworthy.

I described my experience and why I think they should be comfortable in their position. I mean, I could have said for a third time in the same paragraph that I was referring to Indian women in comparison to Latina and white women but you know, I thought people would get the point after the first 2 times If it comes off as anything else that's on the readers' behalf as it was clearly stated multiple times.

 

[LdyKamz]

Well if you read what the original comment was by that poster, she asked me



I described my experience and why I think they should be comfortable in their position. I mean, I could have said for a third time in the same paragraph that I was referring to Indian women in comparison to Latina and white women but you know, I thought people would get the point after the first 2 times If it comes off as anything else that's on the readers' behalf as it was clearly stated multiple times.

I thought the previous poster meant comfortable in their position in relation to us - black women. Not other women. And you said out of the 3 she mentioned they should be comfortable. Sounding like they should be comfortable in their beauty standards when compared to us. You even said "not to be shady but..." lol But yeah then maybe I misunderstood that. OK.

 

[KinksAndInk]

I would love for all Black women to embrace their natural hair but at the end of the day, do whatever makes you feel beautiful. Doesn't matter if it's a pound of hair or a pound of makeup. If you love you then that's all that matters. Other races and sadly members of our own (men and women) are going to find a reason to look down upon us. If we take the weave out then we go from being fake and hating ourselves to being "nappy headed and unkempt". And if it's not your hair, it's your makeup or your clothes or the way you speak. People are always going to find a reason to speak down on a Black woman.

I occasionally dabble in weave and wigs but I can live without both. But makeup, nah you'll have to pry my beauty blender from my cold dead hands. I will beat my face and never leave my house. I do it for me, not anyone else.

 

[Gin&Tonic]

I must be the only one that doesn't give af what people think. I'd be in the bathroom with that Indian woman fixing and flipping my hair knowing my bought her was better quality then the dry arse hair growing out of her head :lichen:. I've I made a decision to do something different with my look, I'm not worried what people that don't matter think. **** them.

You are not alone in doing you. I just think it undermines the beauty of our race. The dignity of my race comes before my personal whims.

I have two other friends who wear very long obvious weave. They wore silky wigs or weaves for nearly 20 years. They have something else in common although they both live on opposite parts of the country. Ther young sons have married Asian and Latina.

Wear what you want. Don't worry about what others think. They still think it and it still makes an impression. You don't live in a bubble.

But whatever-Do you.

 

[CodeRed]

I thought the previous poster meant comfortable in their position in relation to us - black women. Not other women. And you said out of the 3 she mentioned they should be comfortable. Sounding like they should be comfortable in their beauty standards when compared to us. You even said "not to be shady but..." lol But yeah then maybe I misunderstood that. OK.

Girl... there are some bold and stupid people who have posted such things on this board so I kinda don't blame you