Jealous Hairdressers

[Porsche19]

I saw the stylist that kept my hair cut short. I have to go to the nail salon right next door and I try not to run into her. Well she past me and glanced quickly, then glanced agin and her mouth dropped wide open. I said umm, hi, how u doing. She said yeh I remeber u and just turned away..lol

That's a shame lol

I wonder what my old stylist would say if she saw my hair in all it's bouncy, healthy, shiny glory!

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

It's just such a mystery to why we (including myself) feel so powerless and ashamed to speak up?? I just cant put my finger on it because it is sooo unlike me.
Here's a few of my stories: Well after shyly voicing to my former stylist how i would settle for a small trim and that i wanted to grow my hair longer. My stylist still cut off 2 inches to barely my shoulder and when i reacted with an 'aww it's too short' she giggled and said well it needed it cause long hair can't hold a curl. And then finally i wised up and found LCHF (last december). So basically that was her reason at keeping my hair shoulder length because when i got a rollerset, it wouldn't hold a curl. WELL SOO THE #$@#% WHAT!!!! I let her cut my hair for 3 years thinking that she knew best and we were so used to eachother that she wouldn't even ask, she'd just take out the scissors and start hacking. Yea i'd get more body by the trim...but i'd absolutely hate the cut. every single one of them. She's also the one who continually relaxer switched on me...I'm thinking i'm getting a mizani lye then after i turn around, I see a store-bought no-lye relaxer. and i still let her charge me the rate for premium perms. OH HOW STUPID AM I! Oh and not to mention the time I had her put in a weave (ashanti style) for my Bahamas vacation. She used too much hair (2.5bags) cause she didn't plan properly where to sew in the tracks... I oly bought 2 bags and she was supposed to use only like 1.5 and while she finished the back, i had to run back to the hair store to get another bag of hair. And don't u know that all along the right side in the front you could actually see the braid and the track so i had to always wear the Aliyaah bang with a bobby pin and the back was the same way so i never could wear a pony tail. I still paid the full $125...i was soooo upset. I had tooo much hair... but then again i still didn't know anybetter.
but to answer your question not all male stylists are created equal. firstly I have a new stylist whom is a male and I love him dearly. He is so gentle and knows how to put in a good perm. This man even brings out his timer clock!!! this is the first time he asked if i wanted my ends trimmed and i shyly giggled and said 'umm, no' and he said okay and just kept on working. He's at the Hair Cuttery at the University Lake.
And my stylist from years back was a guy...he'd run the relaxer thru my hair for the last 5 minutes (which is what i did when i was young) so i didn't know anybetter. afterall if a stylist says u need it then my hair must need it. NOT.
Then another female stylist at my current hair salon we was just having general hair conversation and i 'embarassingly' asked my stylist if he could do his best just to relax only the newgrowth, then the other stylist said 'oh u only like your newgrowth relaxed...I relax the entire length of my clients so it'll be extra straight'. I frowned and tried to politely tell her (even though i wanted to scream and throw-up at the same time) 'Well you are damaging their hair and it will thin out and will ultimately fall out'. Do u know this lady had the nerve to reply 'oh no after the relaxer, I always use Nexxus 'something' and that stops the breakage in it's tracks. Well duh! Conditioners are a temporary fix...they only last until that next wash....U cant temporarily fix permenant damage, dummass... that's like applying a bandaid to a gunshot wound. dummie! But of course i didn't say that...i just said oh. afterall it ain't my job to argue and try to educate a so called professional trained stylist. U just better believe that I will NEVER sit in her chair.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Has anyone had a bad experience with a male hairdresser? I'm thinking about going back to one, even though he's all the way in l.a. But I don't think it'll matter because I won't be getting my hair done all that often.

I've been to 2 male hairdressers in LA...neither of them was scissor happy. HOWEVER, Hairdresser #1 was LATE all the time. I don't mean 5-10 min late either...like 30-45 min late and I can't have that. He had the nerve to be like, "Oh traffic was bad." Dude this is LA!!! Don't you think I know what traffic is like? That simply means you have to put forth that much MORE effort to be on time (early) if you know you have a client coming at 10 AM.
He also had this ego and believed that he knew all there was to know about hair because he "went on tour with American Idol." Ok and? That means nothing in my book b/c all you're doing is keepin folks fried, died, and laid to the side for the show...that doesn't necessarily speak of excellent hair care IMO. He kept using this Biosilk poo & con that was DRYING my hair out somethin awful. I told him I didn't like it and this triflin dude used the exact same product again. I had to cut him loose...

The 2nd dude was wonderful. He pooed/styled/dusted me, and he did an excellent job. The only problem was that he kept flirting with me, and he called me after the appointment to ask me out I was like, "Um...no thank you." It was sad b/c I really liked everything he did to my hair, and I was planning to use him whenever I needed a relaxer or salon 'do.

I do think male hairdressers will be less likely to chop off unnecessary inches and swear that you need a relaxer every 4 weeks, but I think they have their own set of issues (i.e. flirting with clients, shampooing too rough etc etc).

Millah, if you come to LA to get your hair done, let me know who you decide to use. I'm gonna call a couple of the ladies who were recommended by folks here and see if I can go to them for something simple before I let them do a relaxer. I HATE shopping for a hairdresser...it's right up there with apartment/house hunting on my list of things I despise.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I will only go to a hairdresser as a last result. The hair dresser that I use to go to a long time ago, couldn't make up her mind on what to charge me. One week, I would pay this, the next week, I was paying more for the same thing. I was like forget that no wonder she don't have prices listed anywhere or many customers, her prices are based on how she feels when she wakes up in the morning.

I've had a couple of those too...you never know how much money to bring and those are the main ones that don't wanna take checks and have the nerve to not have a credit card processing machine!
And if I hear "Well your hair is thick and long so I have to charge you $85 instead of $60 for your relaxer" one more time, I'm gonna blow a gasket. I understand it's more work, but seriously, a lady should penalized for taking good care of her hair.

 

[cocoberry10]

When I look at my hair today, I just wonder how long it would have been if a jealous hairdresser did not hack off 4 inches in April!!
I went to a hair salon that was raved about here in London only to come out 4 inches shorter with some insults too.

I had my hair relaxed by this woman whom I told to base my scalp because of its sensitivity. Did she listen to me? Hell no! She started ranting about how long she's been relaxing hair (20 years) and how she was an expert... I foolishly trusted this woman since she was the owner of the so called salon.

I did not only have a burnt scalp with underprocessed hair, I also had my hair abused by heat. She tried to get my hair looking straight by using a blow drier, and all sorts of heat appliances without using a heat protector. I offered her my silk and seal by Keracare but she refused. I did not want to create a scene to avoid looking stupid since she had all these posh looking clients there.

She started talking very loud so that every body could hear how I should look after my hair and not leave it for 4 months b/4 relaxing and other blah blah blah. I couldn't take the indirect insults anymore and just wanted to get out when she shouted that I needed to trim my hair every 6 weeks and since I had my last relaxer 4 months ago, that I needed a trim to take off split ends!
I made a great mistake and agreed to have a trim. I told her to trim only an inch off she agreed and started trimming only an inch off at the begining so I relaxed and stopped looking at what she was doing and engaged in a discussion with another client. You could guess what happened, that was an opportunity for her to wreck havoc on me. When I realised what she did I screamed at her and pushed her hands off my hair fuming. Her reply was "your hair was too long anyway and what do you need long hair for".


I hope to be brastrap hopefully in March 2006 if I do not experience anymore set-backs. I feel better now after letting you lovely ladies know what happened to me. Happy hair growing everyone.

Poor Baby, I know exactly how you feel. I relocated about two years ago. For the first 6 months, I did my own hair, and I must say it grew a lot (I hadn't found this site yet, so I didn't know the two were connected). Anyway, my hairdresser from home was the bomb, and she did the black anchorwomen's hair in my community. So I found a hairdresser here who supposedly did the same thing. She was also the owner and sold great products (including the phyto line).

Anyway, I get there, and she was busy, and had her assistant do the relaxer. I hadn't relaxed in like two years, so I expected him to take care. Needless to say, he put the perm on, didn't comb through (remember, my hair was natural). My hair took in some places, not in others, and was so big, when he rolled me, I couldn't even fit under the dryer.

Anyway, I was soooooooo pissed, I got up with wet hair, demanded that he take the rollers out, and walked outta that shop, Mad as Hell!

I had major breakage, and had to get a corrective relaxer 8 weeks later.

So advice for all ladies going to a new hairdresser.

If they don't listen to you, and give you exactly what you want, get up and LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is your money and your hair!

 

[Yellowflowers]

This is one reason why I am no longer a hairdresser. Don't be fooled, some of these women are very jealous. I have heard numerous comments made about long hair that was made in my prescence. My hair is mid back lenth so they made sure I heard them.

1) I used to have it but I cut it off because it bothered my neck. (lier) erplexed. Next week she had extensions down to there! I wanted to ask her if it bothered her neck.
2) They always only wear it in 1 style
3) Girl she really think she something, she don't want nobody cutting that hair of hers. She didn't have nothing but strings
4) If I had that much hair I don't know what I would do.
5) I don't like long hair It's too much trouble.
6) She ain't never cut her hair before. (Yes she has but it grows back, remember) besides she doesn't have to cut it if she doesn't want to.

Yes I have heard it all. When you go into a suspicious beauty shop. Say upfront that you do not want your hair cut at all because there is another stylist who always cuts your hair and knows how you like it. Make sure you are in agreement. Watch her at all times. Ask that you be seated so you can see or monitor. You can state that you have had a very bad cut done in a salon before and it is now just recovering. (Putting her on the spot) Yes it can get that serious because unfortunately jealously is a harsh sickness.

 

[Lucia]

Has anyone had a bad experience with a male hairdresser? I'm thinking about going back to one, even though he's all the way in l.a. But I don't think it'll matter because I won't be getting my hair done all that often.

Yes I had a guy stylist latino (Flammin queen) jack me up, I had been wearing braids and my hair was past SLDR thick and swinging, do you now that my hair was chin length in less that 6 months-my hair was split, damged, etc... mind you I was natural And he told me to stop using those oils and vitamins and ish thats just going to mess up your hair. Also an Egytian woman did the loud talking, rudeness and your hair is very damaged crap, with me she set me back up to TBSL which means I could have been WSL already.
I wonder what he would say if he saw me now @ LBSL probably have run away in shame li Sylvers stylist did.

 

[Yellowflowers]

Mahalialee4, I love your comment. You are very enlightened and understand what is going on. Jealous women are insecure and feel bad about themselves. They can not stand the fact that some eles has something they do not. If you have long hair they feel like you have stepped out your place and that you are 'climbing out of the bucket.' So they want to fix that by cutting it and putting you back in your place back in the bucket where you belong.

When someone is grooming your hair it is a psychological experience.
Some clients really open up and reveal relationship problems and other matters. You feel that you have established trust. Your hair is your crowning glory. This why when a jealous stylist violates that trust and cuts your hair you feel violated. Then they try to make you make you feel bad because you wanted to keep your hair. I may be perceived as radical also but when you can understand the real issues as to why this happens in so many cases you become empowered to speak up say 'don not cut my hair or I'll cut you' lol! and protect your crowning glory. As black women you have right to keep your hair!

 

[kizzylonghair]

Ladies,

I feel you. I can’t believe I spent £640 about $1000 last year on someone to
JACK UP MY HAIR
My problem is that before I came here I didn’t know my hairdresser was on CRARK, from no fault of my own I let her do whatever she wanted.

But now I know how my hair should be treated the still trying to JACK ME UP!!.
I do have a very good salon. She relaxes my hair well never misses anything out. But then we get that point……Wait for it………………………………
YOU NEED A TRIM!!!!!
She doesn’t even say you need a trim she say’s I AM GIVING U A TRIM.
One time she even put a trim on my bill without even finishing my hair.
Ok I only visit her every 3 months, but my ends are fine. There are loads of ladies on here that are living proof that trims don’t have to be frequent if done at all.
I really had to put my foot down last time and say NO!!.
Maybe it’s a money thing. I have to pay £8 about $15 for a trim. That quite expensive considering my relaxer is not that expensive.
If me and my hairdresser can get past this she would be perfect.

Kizzy xx

 

[Bmm]

Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is why I don''t got to salons that much anymore...even hair braiders are off the damn chain. I am so sorry to hear that that evil witch did that.

 

[Bmm]

I saw the stylist that kept my hair cut short. I have to go to the nail salon right next door and I try not to run into her. Well she past me and glanced quickly, then glanced agin and her mouth dropped wide open. I said umm, hi, how u doing. She said yeh I remeber u and just turned away..lol

I love it!!! That fool was hella surprised. She probably was hating so damn strong, and could not find words you should have swung it in her face, and walked away.

 

[Bmm]

I'm sorry this happened to you! It's happened to me quite a few times. I hate to say it but I'm starting to get nervous around my current hairdresser the longer my hair gets because she keeps mentioning how my hair needs to be trimmed on a regular schedule and I don't need to have it too long and what would I do with super long hair. The last few times I was there she told me my hair was at the perfect length and like an idiot I got cajoled into "tiny trims" which left me at a stand still growth wise. My hair is thicker all around for it since it gave one problem section time to catch up but still I wonder where I would be if I'd stood my stance. I just got a touch up 2 wks ago and told her I did not want a trim since she'd trimmed it the last two times and there were no more shorter sections that needed to catch up. She seemed miffed. Maybe it was my imagination but there was another client there oohhing and ahhhing over my hair and I swear it seemed to make my stylist want to pick up the scissors even more! I love her work up until she tries to pick up the scissors. Why can't stylists be just as eager to see how far we can take our hair as we are?

On another note, my previous hairdresser whom it took an extreme amount of courage for me to up and leave after yrs of abuse and vicious, unrequested (she did'nt even bother asking and I'd be too frozen in horror and shock to stop her then run home to hubby in anger at my letting her) scissor whackings everytime my hair touched my shoulders somehow tracked down my number and called leaving a message on my phone asking me to come in since it's been a while. yeah! 2 yrs! 2 yrs and as a result I have hair finally growing down my back! I could'nt even bring myself to give a courtesty call back. I wish I could do my own touch ups and skip the stylists all together! They're worse than abusive men! Ya know your *** needs to up and leave but they do that mental crap on you and you're back again and again...

I would just stop by one day, and let her see my hair just to let her know that is grew past what she tried to keep me at.

 

[brandy]

I want to thank you all beautiful ladies for your cheerful comments and advice. You all have cheered me up and I now know better and would never be such a victim again. I comiserate with you ladies that had similar experiences and wish us all happy hair growing.

 

[loonatick]

Hi Brandy, out of interest, i would love to know which salon this is, could you PM me? We need to stay away from people which such bad minds.

 

[Lovelylocs]

We really do. We should make a list of salon and stylists to stay away from... LOL It is for the good of us all.

This story made me so mad. Unfortunately, I think it is smthg that we can all relate to.
This is why I really want to learn to do my own hair. It would save a lot of money too.

 

[matuncks]

I used to be the same way, listening to hairstylists and being afraid to talk back. Not anymore, not since being on LHCF for the last 4 months. It takes too long and I put in too much effort to improve my hair and get some length.

For the past 3 weeks, I have been researching the hairlocs technique, and went to see a certified stylists last Tuesday. After , he tried to win my business by saying that if I needed to get treatments, conditioners or trimming, I can go there. I promptly told him, "no one cuts my hair". I just said "ok" to the treatment invitation, while saying "I don't think so" in my head.

I like the progress I've made. As a matter of fact, I so distrust anyone putting their hands in my hair, that I am going to try the hairlocs technique myself. Don't want to risk him pulling and breaking precious strands.

 

[brickhouse]

My hairdresser was jealous of my progress. Before I found LHCF I had got my hair cut in layers and then the stylist I went to kept cutting it every week because she said my hair grew out of the style quickly. I ended up with shoulder length hair. When my sis went to her and she cut her hair to about 1 inch I stopped going to her. My sis did not want her hair cut that short. That was about 8 years ago. The stylist that has been doing my hair now is really jealous of my hair. When I first found the board I told her I was going to grow waist length hair and she told me that I couldn't. At the time her hair was longer than mine. She has been doing my hair off and on for about 10 years. She would give me a touch up every 5 wks along with trims. I don't know how I ever retained any length but my hair still out grew hers. Thanks to this board I stretched my touchups to every 3-4 months then she told me my hair would come out. After my hair surpassed hers she started stretching her relaxers. I use to go every week for years but now she only see me 3-4 times out of the year and that is for touch up only. She always wanted to trim my hair and I have to watch her because she will try to jack me up and then I will get a case. I use to not speak up but now I do. If they think they are going to use those skinny rattail combs on my hair they better think again. I always pull out my shower comb and will tell them if they do something to my hair that I don't like. It took hardwork and money to get my hair to where it is now.

 

[brickhouse]

One more story. I got tree braids back in July. The lady lived about 1h 30mins from me and scheduled me for 6am on a Sun morning. That meant I had to leave home at 4:30am. I told her that my hair was mid back and when I showed up she did not want to do my hair. She said she never did anybody hair that long and she was going to have to charge me extra. I reminded her that I told her on the phone how long my hair was and she said since I was driving so far she would only charge her usually rate of $150. She also told me that I needed only 4 bags of hair and when she saw my hair I actually needed 7 bags. She questioned my for about 15 mins about my hair. She asked me why I wanted so long hair. When she have locs and claim her hair is longer than mine. I purchased the 3 extra bags from her and gave her another $25 because that is what she charged me for having longer hair. I should have left when she started acting like she did not want to do my hair when I showed up. I spent around $200. Not to mention that you have to wash and dry your own hair before you get there. She does hair at her home. She then proceeded to set up another appointment for every 6 weeks. No thank you. I called her and cancelled. I had no intention of ever going back and to top it off the braids took out my hair. Can you imagine 7 bags of snythetic hair in the summer time and I am in Georgia. It is Nov and my hair and scalp is still recovering. The style was pretty but a whole year of hardwork went down the drain. Never be afraid to speak up and get up and walk out. I have learned my lesson.

 

[napgurl]

Never be afraid to speak up and get up and walk out. I have learned my lesson.

You right. I'm not taking ba-- (beautician or braider abuse) anymore.

 

[Chromia]

Bumping because this is a great thread.

I can especially relate to these 4. I'm so glad I left my stylist whom I had been seeing for years, but I'm not looking forward to the search for a new one to do my touch-ups.

I had to leave a stylist that I went to for four years because she was cutting on my hair too much.

On another note, my previous hairdresser whom it took an extreme amount of courage for me to up and leave after yrs of abuse and vicious, unrequested (she did'nt even bother asking and I'd be too frozen in horror and shock to stop her then run home to hubby in anger at my letting her) scissor whackings everytime my hair touched my shoulders somehow tracked down my number and called leaving a message on my phone asking me to come in since it's been a while. yeah! 2 yrs! 2 yrs and as a result I have hair finally growing down my back! I could'nt even bring myself to give a courtesty call back. I wish I could do my own touch ups and skip the stylists all together! They're worse than abusive men! Ya know your *** needs to up and leave but they do that mental crap on you and you're back again and again...

I let her cut my hair for 3 years thinking that she knew best and we were so used to eachother that she wouldn't even ask, she'd just take out the scissors and start hacking.

I HATE shopping for a hairdresser...it's right up there with apartment/house hunting on my list of things I despise.

 

[Mahalialee4]

Had this been a white woman (not likely) going to a black salon, I highly doubt that this would have happened. They would not have dared because they know they would have been sued, blacklisted and put out of business if they messed with one of them, cause she might have some change and connections!! But

Since they see you as less than a peer...they will do it to you because they see us as poor, powerless and desperate and dependant on them: Why?
Do you think that it could be for any of the following reasons?
Because a black woman will often spend money she know she don't have to go to them regularly for perms, relaxers and cuts and colors, to get their hair did, so they do not have any money left over to sue them with: they will not learn the skills needed to do their own hair so they will come back regularly for abuse, if not to them to another salon and we viewed often as so desperate to be seen as "attractive...even if the cut, style or color does not suit us....or if it means 10 lbs. of weave.....so yeah, we'll be back.....or we could end up on a freebie Judge show holding our hair in our hand and flashing our bald patches and jacked up pictures...yeah we'll be back....and most of all, because we allow them to do this through intimidating methods because WE ACT AS IF WE DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED BETTER BECAUSE NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN WE WILL NOT SPEAK UP, WILL NOT DEMAND TO SEE WHAT THEY ARE DOING AT ALL TIMES AND DEMAND ACCOUNTABILITY....or GET UP AND WALK OUT, because we allow ourselves to be CODEPENDANT and BECAUSE WE do not think as black women we deserve any better!? Do you think that we exhibit codependant behaviour that enables the abusers? My personal feeling that this is abuse pure and simple. bonjour

 

[Lynnerie]

Why do we keep going to hair stylists when we have all the info we need right here. You know its a shame when you know more about hair than the person you intrust your hair to. I made the decision to never go to a stylist ever again. If I need a trim I let my mom do it. Cause I know she knows my hair goals and doesn't want me with short hair unless I want it short.