Little Black Girls feeling inferior because of hair...

[czyfaith77]

I was just thinking about this yesterday as I was thi k about media and ads. It has gotten somewhat better because more and more people are going natural. However, even with this sometimes you are seeing children with more of the 3 types then 4. When I was younger I would see parents with maybe 4 type hair or at least one of the dad and the rest of the family with another type and would wonder how the kids ended up like that.

 

[czyfaith77]

I said all of that to say kids get a lot from what they see and hear. You would be surprised to hear how many derogatory comments I hear about hair from parents

 

[GaiasDaughter24]

That makes it more difficult for sure. I live in the Twin Cities. I hope you can change your living circumstances so that your kids have opportunities to interact with other African American kids. My husband is a professor and many of his students of color who grew up in all white areas have racial identity issues.

Yeah, it's a big factor for when we move. I know my SIL had issues and my BIL now swears he'll never date a black girl I don't want my children to be that way. Dh and I have discussed this long before we had children. I always told him that I wanted to live somewhere that had diversity. It was a BIG change for me to come here from NY.We have 2 years before she's in school full time and I've been researching areas like crazy.

 

[BlkOnyx488]

I have an opposite perspective, my boys are biracial and their hair is type 1 bone straight. I am constantly telling them my hair is beautiful, I feel like I have to always show appreciation for my hair in front of them because I know they forming an opinion about this topic LOL.

Also most of their friends are white. It just kind of hapened that way, Anyway one day one of their little friends came over the house and i had my Afro out, usually my hair in cornrowed so the little boy had not seen my hair undone. The little white boy walks in looks at my hair and wrinkles up his nose like my hair is a problem. So I ask him is there something wrong? He says why is your hair like that all big and puffy? Still making a face.

I said, "sweetie I am a child of God and this is the hair the creator blessed me with, is that ok with you?" his expression changed to a smile and he said "yes", and I said, "good glad we got that settled."

 

[LatterGlory]

 

[GaiasDaughter24]

http://www.amazon.com/Does-Anybody-...dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

http://www.amazon.com/Im-Chocolate-Youre-Vanilla-Race-Conscious/dp/0787952346/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t

Just did a quick search on Amazon and came up with these. The internet is replete with books on subjects such as these...

http://www.amazon.com/Fibre-Springf...06ZK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325794470&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Aurora-Plush-...-crafts&ie=UTF8&qid=1325794626&sr=1-1-catcorr

...and dolls too.

I absolutely LOVE that Aurora plush doll. I'm ordering it for her right now. Thank you.

 

[LatterGlory]

:Rose:------------​

 

[biancaelyse]

My 13 year old is going through some of this. I did a Brazilian keratin on her hair and it was very straight at the beginning of the school year. She had never worn her hair straight before and received a lot of compliments and attention.

Fast forward to January and she is playing sports and wearing her hair curly since she is working out daily. A girl told her that she used to be beautiful (referring to her hair) but not anymore

What is wrong with people!!

 

[Rei]

My 13 year old is going through some of this. I did a Brazilian keratin on her hair and it was very straight at the beginning of the school year. She had never worn her hair straight before and received a lot of compliments and attention.

Fast forward to January and she is playing sports and wearing her hair curly since she is working out daily. A girl told her that she used to be beautiful (referring to her hair) but not anymore

What is wrong with people!!

yep. even things that are a little more subtle hurt like when you straighten your hair and everyone exclaims on how good you look, and then it reverts and its just silence.

sometimes even comments that are meant to be nice aren't so nice.

 

[cami88]

^^^ Your signature is creeping me out!

 

[TrueBeliever]

Of course little black girls are going to have hair complex issues.

This site alone has grown women talking about how they can't stand their "shrinkage".

And the flat iron turned into the holy grail.

For a while I had to stop going into the heat training and "Thinking of texlaxing" threads because they started to eat at my psyche and I started thinking the same way.

I eventually stopped entertaining those discussions and have been embracing my hair and I love it just the way it grows out of my scalp.

The line I hear on here sometimes is 'my hair was swinging like a white girl' and nobody has a problem with that.
I think the popular aesthetic on LHCF is the 'biracial' look.

 

[HE_Blesses_MY_Tresses]

It was weird for me when I was young, I had a great sense of self as a child. I had all black dolls, in fact my moms friend bought me a white doll and I was so mad that I cried and ripped her head off. Another one of her friends bought me a strawberry shortcake doll but because she was cloth I couldn't rip her head off so I colored her face with a magic marker. It was when my mom moved us to a predominately white neighborhood that I fell apart and I started to want to be white. I hated my hair, wanted relaxers, even though I didn't need them, used that "sun-in" stuff that you spray on your hair and the sun lightens your hair, OMG, my hair went from luxurious to a hot friggin mess. and my mind set went from thinking that "black was where it was at" to "white was right"... SMH. It wasn't until I had my hair in micros for my junior-senior years straight and I didn't put any relaxer in my hair when I saw my hair in it's natural state for the first time in 7 years and I decided I loved my hair. I relaxed a couple times after that but never long enough to be consistent, usually once then I would transition or once then I would wait a few months then BC... My niece has an identity issue, she is the most beautiful shade of ebony and has very thick, coily hair and she literally cried when I wouldn't let her wear my wigs this summer because she said she didn't like her hair. I talked to her about it and she said she wanted hair like mine that "swung and hung down" I had to tell her all the great things about her hair and what her hair does that I WISH my hair could do. She felt better but I found out that at her house when she gets her hair done, her aunt says stuff like "man I have to comb through this nappy nest" and "look and 'so and so's' hair it's so silky," "look at that caramel drop" no one ever says anything about HER beauty and she is GORGEOUS! I am so concerned that I tried to get her mother to let her live with me for the school year...

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

That's why I told my baby about making her Barbies' hair like hers. I didn't do the greatest job, but she liked it. I always tell her how beautiful her hair is and how happy I am that my hair is like hers now. She has 0 issues with her hair so far and I will keep working to make sure it stays that way. I was happy with my hair when it was relaxed, but I'm so much happier now that I am no longer judging my hair or myself against a white ideal.

 

[Ivonnovi]

This brings to mind a question I'd asked about other issues, so I'll ask it again.

When will we start to prepare our young'ns for the ignorance they will encountor out there in the world, instead of REACTING to thie ignorance AFTER our littleones have been festering over an insult or verbal assault all day?

It is oday to tell her that her hair is lovely, AND to tell her that not everybody will feel te same way about it,"but that's their darn problem". So when little Becky or Johnny says something out of the way, OUR LITTLEONES can set them straight or educate them, instead of walking away sad.

BUT yes I've seen it and I've had to talk distraught moma's into taking the time to appreciate the uniquness of their littleones hair.

 

[3CurlyQs]

That's why I told my baby about making her Barbies' hair like hers. I didn't do the greatest job, but she liked it. I always tell her how beautiful her hair is and how happy I am that my hair is like hers now. She has 0 issues with her hair so far and I will keep working to make sure it stays that way. I was happy with my hair when it was relaxed, but I'm so much happier now that I am no longer judging my hair or myself against a white ideal.

How do you make her barbies hair like hers? Style? Length?

Sent from my T-Mobile G1 using T-Mobile G1

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

There's a thread I started on the Hair discussion board DIY natural haired Barbies. I'd link but I'm on my phone. You set it on pipe cleaners and dunk it in hot water. Check out the tutorial, not my "good college try results" LoL

 

[HAIRapy]

I forgot about this thread! This was a VERY good thread too. Well the update on my DD is that she's now a 6ft tall 16yo afro(and other natural-textured styles)-rocking young lady. I posted about her going natural and doing her bc almost a year ago. She is in love with her natural texture.... and I'm still relaxed. The good thing is that she has relaxed and naturals around her regularly. She was relaxed and came to me one day saying that she wanted to transition. We started transitioning together... it lasted for about 6mths. I chickened out and relaxed because I wanted to be able to lazily do my hair easily. She kept going and I fully supported her. She loves her hair. She now goes to a multi-cultural highschool and white (and other cultures) people give her compliments on her hair and tell her how cool her hair/styles are all the time.