Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Unruly

[Vashti]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Sounds like lack of home training to me on the part of the little white girl. I can't tell whether it was on purpose or not but it was inappropriate. It's one of those unfortunate situations that all children have to deal with when they go to school and have to be around children who grow up in different environments.

I'm not sure about all the details in this situation but I would teach my cousin that next time she needs to speak up for herself and let people know not to touch her person without her permission.

 

[davisbr88]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

I just want to say that I never would have thought it would be okay to do something like that to someone else at 8 years old. I just think that's too old to blame on "youthful innocence." Maybe kindergarten or first grade, but 3rd? There's no way. And I know for sure I would have gotten more than a "talking to" if I would have done something like that and my parents found out. I understand that she's white and maybe was just trying to help, but I definitely would have offered my suggestion to the girl, which is what I did a lot when I was younger, but to go as far as to actually put the water on her hair? That has "spanking" written all over it.

 

[lovegymnasts]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

There is no way that child should be blamed for someone else throwing water on her hair. Even if the girl that did it didn't know better,the blame shouldn't be distributed just because she is a child. She did it,and she needs to understand that you don't go around doing things like that because you felt like it.

I doubt the girl got a bucket of water and threw it on the other child or sneak attacked her. She had to stand or sit there and let the other child mess with her hair.

She also holds some responsibility. She probably didn't know herself what water would do to her hair.

People's expectations are too high!

This child probably still believes in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.
Let's get some perspective.

Most white adults don't understand reversion. Why do we expect an 8 year old child to?

This is a learning experience for both girls and should be treated as such.

 

[curlicarib]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Wait wait, how would she know not to do it again unless she is disciplined? If her parents and the school just brushes it off like its all good and fun and games, then I'm pretty sure she wouldn't learn anything from it. Or does she get a nice "talking to" like they usually do?

Of course she should be disciplined, that's part of the learning process. But should she be drawn and quartered? Of course not! She's an eight year old child. Take away her playstation for a week. Talk to her about the differences inherent to all of us. But please don't brand her something she's not. I'm sure there are eight year old midget bigots out there planning the downfall of their classmate's hair, but I just didn't get that out of the OP's original post.

I just think - based on the information provided - that too many of us are taking this too seriously.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Of course she should be disciplined, that's part of the learning process. But should she be drawn and quartered? Of course not! She's an eight year old child. Take away her playstation for a week. Talk to her about the differences inherent to all of us. But please don't brand her something she's not. I'm sure there are eight year old midget bigots out there planning the downfall of their classmate's hair, but I just didn't get that out of the OP's original post.

I just think - based on the information provided - that too many of us are taking this too seriously.

Since you quoted me I am going to respond. You said the child and the parents should be given a pass. Now you're saying the child should be punished. o_0

 

[NikkiQ]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

To me, what she did was Redneck-ish and then for her mom to turn around not have $50...yep, redneck-ish. Matter of fact, when I pictured this in my head, I pictured a Redneck family. So I'll stick with my initial assessment.

putting water in someone's hair is "redneck-ish" and not having $50 for it is "redneck-ish"? No offense, but that "assessment" is just as ignorant as this whole situation. There are lots of people who don't have money to spend on something so that makes them a redneck too? Boy some people.

And I take total offense to that b/c I am from a mixed background. So let me guess, me mentioning this is "redneck-ish" too?

 

[Bigmommah]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

I'm sure there are eight year old midget bigots out there planning the downfall of their classmate's hair, but I just didn't get that out of the OP's original post.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Your little cousin is good. At eight years old I would've punched that little girl in the face. That's what my parents would have been called to the school for. Both of us would have been suspended.

 

[davisbr88]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Of course she should be disciplined, that's part of the learning process. But should she be drawn and quartered? Of course not! She's an eight year old child. Take away her playstation for a week. Talk to her about the differences inherent to all of us. But please don't brand her something she's not. I'm sure there are eight year old midget bigots out there planning the downfall of their classmate's hair, but I just didn't get that out of the OP's original post.

I don't think that's what LaFemme meant. I think that when you said she should get a pass, she thought you meant that nothing should be done. At least that's what I thought you were saying and I didn't agree with that either. I'm personally not labeling her a bigot by any means but there are such things as personal boundaries and I do believe she should be taught and disciplined. What is your definition of "pass?" I think that's where the confusion came from. Because disciplining her wouldn't be considered a "pass" to me. A "pass" would be looking the other way, you know? That's what I was thinking you were saying, but then you said in the post she should be punished. It was just confusing, I think.

 

[transitioning?]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

I have a different opinion than most it seems.
If one child is at fault, they are all at fault.

The children in the class were wrong for the teasing and this needs to be addressed by the teacher and Principal.

But...if the little white girl is wrong then the 8 year old cousin was wrong too.
She should have said don't touch my hair, don't put water in my hair, leave my hair alone.

8 year old girls mess with each other's hair. That's a fact of life and why many parents try to train their children to say no don't touch my hair.

Unless that little white girl was being malicious which I doubt...then this is a learning experience for all the children. I really doubt that white child has any clue what reverting is or what a blow out is or how water affects Afro textured hair.

Kids are kids, especially young kids, and they are going to do innocent things that end up wrong. I think the expectations are too high for this child. She's what...in 3rd grade?

BTW: I grew up with water being used to do my hair or neaten up my hair. For the few years I was raising my two little sisters, the water bottle immediately came out when doing their hair. At 8 years old, I would understand them putting water to their hair if they thought to neaten it up. They would have no idea what reverting was either. When they played in my hair, they also used water.

I think we need to have age appropriate expectations. The little white girl was just imitating what has been done to her hair. She only knows what she knows.

I definitely agree with this statement. The more I think about it. It's possible that country's cousin didnt even know that her hair would revert. She and the little girl couldve been in on it together. I'm not saying this is definitely the case but its a possibility. Little girls always get into trouble for messing/playing in their hair while at skl. Its also not a far stretch to think the little one would place blame on her cohort(the little white girl) becuase that is what kids do.

That aside. The girl's parents should pay.

 

[tatiana]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

I am missing something....if her hair was "done", why did her class mate think it was unruly? Was your cousin's hair revertting anyway?

I think your cousin should have explain why it costs $50; most white people do not pay that much to get their own hair done.

 

[curlicarib]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Since you quoted me I am going to respond. You said the child and the parents should be given a pass. Now you're saying the child should be punished. o_0

I don't think that's what LaFemme meant. I think that when you said she should get a pass, she thought you meant that nothing should be done. At least that's what I thought you were saying and I didn't agree with that either. I'm personally not labeling her a bigot by any means but there are such things as personal boundaries and I do believe she should be taught and disciplined. What is your definition of "pass?" I think that's where the confusion came from. Because disciplining her wouldn't be considered a "pass" to me. A "pass" would be looking the other way, you know? That's what I was thinking you were saying, but then you said in the post she should be punished. It was just confusing, I think.

OK Ladies, I think I understand the disconnect. Please let me explain. When I say they should get a pass, I meant, that there should not be an assumption of malicious or racially motivated intent. That's all, nothing else. As far as her actions, she has earned her discipline.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

^^^OK gotcha.

 

[MzLady78]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

OK Ladies, I think I understand the disconnect. Please let me explain. When I say they should get a pass, I meant, that there should not be an assumption of malicious or racially motivated intent. That's all, nothing else. As far as her actions, she has earned her discipline.

That's what I thought you meant but I figured I'd let you speak for yourself, LOL.

 

[davisbr88]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

It's cool, curlicarib. I see what you're saying. Even if you didn't think she should get disciplined like a few people have said, everyone has an opinion and the right to stand by it.

 

[ladytee2]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Ok even if you give the girl the benefit of the doubt that she was not being malicious some kids in that class knew a little something malicious to call her Aunt Jemima. Was the little girl that put the water on her hair the only one in the class not laughing or calling her names? I agree that this should be chance to teach all the kids in the class but what are the parents going to learn if they are given a pass. Its the principle. I am full aware that if my child should make a mistake that as his mother I am responsible for teaching him to not repeat the mistake again and for financial restitution. Your cousin's mother should have told that mother too bad. You can give me 2 payments of $25, 5 payments of $10. I dont care how you pay but somebody is coming up off my money.

 

[davisbr88]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

^^ Lmao at the the payment plan!
I agree, though. Until your child is 18 and is legally considered financially responsible for themselves, you do need to come up with something. Yes, it might have been a mistake, but mistakes don't usually come for free. I know I would have given that mother something. Even if I didn't understand WHY it was so much, that's besides the point imo. Your child messed up, and you as a parent need to try to fix it.

 

[Tiye]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

I think they should be given a pass because nothing was stated that implied anything malicious was intended. While you are correct in everything that you say, IMO this is how children learn and how children are taught. She clearly made a mistake and now she knows not to put water on someone else's head - irregardless of the motive. These are children. I would never expect an adult to walk up to someone else and "fix" their hair. But I do expect a little girl to walk up to someone and touch/fix their hair, because that's what kids do until they are taught different. And while I know that some children can be malicious, based on the information provided, it simply sounds like kid stuff.

This is the perfect opportunity to teach the class about diversity (as you stated), but IMO, this is not something that should be made into a big deal. Until proven different - give the child the benefit of the doubt. Little girls love to play in each other's hair.

I can agree.

I can't see even making the other parents pay because while a good blow out can be a nice thing, and we all know how much work can go into them, I still don't want to raise a young black woman who thinks her only value is in the quality of her blow outs. Woolly hair reverts - I wouldn't want to send the message that if it reverts then someone's gotta pay.

However it seems like there may be more to the story.

Who's raising these kids?? Why do they know who aunt Jemima is at their age? I mean it's just as strange as a class of 8 year olds picking a character from the golden girls and taunting a little white girl with her name ... or do they do that too in some schools?? Most strange.

 

[nappystorm]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

I think her parents should pay.

 

[ctosha]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Pickney has no broughtupcy! Parents should pay.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

I can agree.

I can't see even making the other parents pay because while a good blow out can be a nice thing, and we all know how much work can go into them, I still don't want to raise a young black woman who thinks her only value is in the quality of her blow outs. Woolly hair reverts - I wouldn't want to send the message that if it reverts then someone's gotta pay.

However it seems like there may be more to the story.

Who's raising these kids?? Why do they know who aunt Jemima is at their age? I mean it's just as strange as a class of 8 year olds picking a character from the golden girls and taunting a little white girl with her name ... or do they do that too in some schools?? Most strange.

They need to pay because it was a WASTE of money IMO. Not to get her hair redone.

 

[NicWhite]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

This probably was just purely a mistake/lack of understanding by the white child. She was probably horrified when she saw what the water did to the black child.

This story made remember when I was 15 years old. I was in my cousin's wedding and went to her house to get dressed. My hair was pressed. My cousin who had permed hair decided that my hair was not slicked back enough (my hair was in a french roll) and decided to put clear gel in my hair. I had not ever used clear gel but something just made me think "this is not going to be good" and told her to stop but she didn't listen, she said "it works good on my hair" and put it on one side of my hair. Needless to say, my 4a/4b hair started to revert immediately, to which she said "Oh, my bad, you were right". I had to be in the wedding with one side of my head straight and the other side puffy.

Can you imagine what the wedding pictures looked liked like? ics:

I share this story because even we don't understand our hair. I hope the little white girl learned a lesson, but let's not be too mad at the situation. Look at my cousin's baffonary and we were 15.

 

[NYDiva]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

i'm still wondering how much did it revert, and if it's a lot, how did the other girl manage to put a lot of water on her hair? i'm thinking maybe they were by a sink and she smoothed some water on her hair and that section reverted?

I had an incident when i was in school, at gym, watching another black girl swim without getting her hair wet. i tried to kick off the wall too and sunk. skipped the rest of my classes and wore my jacket over my head until i got in the house.

 

[Guitarhero]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Maybe if folks calmed down and considered that the two might have been playing together and it might have been discussed that her hair was unruly. What if the little white girl suggested a solution and the little black girl accepted it? Why should somebody pay another person for a 50 dollar blow-out? It's water, not acid. Besides, when I was in school, girls played hairdresser. Somebody was always getting their hair done or played in. I think it's a bit extra to judge the white child negatively in this case.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

And furthermore (I'm all indignant about it. lol) white people don't wake up with naturally straight, gorgeous hair! They have to straighten their hair too a lot of times. So while I wouldn't expect the child to know about reversion, she has probably seen her mom or older sister blowing out their own hair, so it's not like she is just a lil' innocent lily white child unaware of all the extraordinary measures unpresentable black people must take for straight hair. No maam! White women straighten hair too. And if she doesn't know that, then that's good too! Because she'll probably be glad to know it later. Learning experiences all around.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Maybe if folks calmed down and considered that the two might have been playing together and it might have been discussed that her hair was unruly. What if the little white girl suggested a solution and the little black girl accepted it? Why should somebody pay another person for a 50 dollar blow-out? It's water, not acid. Besides, when I was in school, girls played hairdresser. Somebody was always getting their hair done or played in. I think it's a bit extra to judge the white child negatively in this case.

IF that was the case, why would the girl's mother even suggest that the white girl's mother pay? If they were just playing, then why would the principal and other parents even be involved?

 

[lux10023]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

im sure it was a harmless mistake..not sure if it warrants taking it so far as the clr girls mom paying for her press....

 

[Guitarhero]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Hmmm, I vaguely remember a little white girl who admired the black girls' hairstyles and somebody put vaseline in her hair I don't think her mother charged the black child's parents with the cost of Dawn and Prell to get it out. I don't believe this was done maliciously but if it is found out that it's true, then they can go from there.

And don't kids play on the playground ....but a 50 dollar blowout? What if gum had gotten into it? Charge the kid who spit it out? Maybe I just don't get it.

 

[Tamrin]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

I think people are over reacting here. They are children and not everyone is familiar with that aspect of black hair.The laughing and making fun of I do not agree with. That should be addressed by the school.
The parents of your niece should talk to your niece about the incident and make her feel confident about her hair. Her confidence may have been shaken a bit by the laughing.

 

[SmilingElephant]

Re: Little White Girl Puts Water on My Cuz's freshly Blown Out Hair because it was Un

Okay....when i read this...i visualized the white girl carrying a cup or bucket of water and coming behind your cousin and dumping it on her head.....i'm sorry but where i come from.....you get you @$$ hhhwhooped....for stuff like that...just like if you did that as a grown person you'd probably get SHOT for doing somethin like that....the mother most def better pay up too...even if your cousin already got her hair redone.

And don't let these lil kids fool ya....i have a 10 yr old cousin that has a grown mind and i encounter a LOT of 8 yr olds that are more "advanced" in the mind than we were back when we were 8.