Madea won't stop perming her hair!

[Ladybelle]

I know the title is catchy, but I'm not talking about Tyler Perry's Madea, I call my mother-in-law Madea, and after she noticed how my hair & my ds hair have been thriving, (thanks to LHCF) she asked me to help her hair.

Her problems are severe thinning & breakage, and I've helped her do things she wasn't doing before: co-washing, dcing, wrapping the hair at night, you know-- the LHCF basic guide to growing healthy hair & she has been very agreeable with ONE exception:

She will not stop relaxing her hair every 4 weeks. I've explained to her time & time again how detrimental this is to her hair, and I've asked her to try and stretch longer, but at the sight of any new-growth, she gets scared! She asks me to relax it for her once a month, and I do it because the lady she was going to wasn't taking the time to make sure she wasn't overlapping and I try to do a protein treatment for her before the perm & during the perm, but I feel strongly her hair just needs a little rest.

I don't understand it, her desire for "bone-straight" hair is keeping her hair from growing. Aside from convincing her to stop relaxing her hair so much, is there anything I can do to help her maximize growth despite her constant need to re-touch?

Thanks!

 

[discodumpling]

I'm not sure you can teach the proverbial old dog new tricks! Old folks are pretty set in their ways. Stretching requires a shift in ones mindset...a shift that would require her to see her new growth as acceptable and not a thing to be feared. Good luck!

 

[Ladybelle]

I'm not sure you can teach the proverbial old dog new tricks! Old folks are pretty set in their ways. Stretching requires a shift in ones mindset...a shift that would require her to see her new growth as acceptable and not a thing to be feared. Good luck!

I don't think she's going to change because of exactly what you said- is there anything I can do to help offset the damage she's ultimately doing?

 

[msa]

I don't think she's going to change because of exactly what you said- is there anything I can do to help offset the damage she's ultimately doing?

No matter how many protein treatments you do, relaxing the frequently is still going to cause breakage and ultimately she won't retain length. And, it's probably not good for her scalp either.

I say try to get her to stretch one week at a time. For example, have her relax at 5 weeks the next two times you do her hair so that she can get used to it and see that it's not that big of a deal. And then move to 6 weeks and so on. I think it'd be easier for her since it won't be a drastic change.

 

[Opey]

Maybe get her to do protective styles..?

like in the 3rd week maybe she could get a weave installed, or her hair pressed?

 

[melissa-bee]

Offer too roller set and then press her roots instead of relaxing on week 5 and see if you can do that for about 2 weeks.

 

[gissellr78]

Why dont you blow it out for her on the 4th week and see if she holds a week do the same on the 5th

 

[LionQueen]

I don't think she's going to change because of exactly what you said- is there anything I can do to help offset the damage she's ultimately doing?

I don't know if this is already your practice when relaxing Madea's new growth, but protecting the previously relaxed hair with a "barrier" may help to slow the damage of the frequent touchups.

Barriers: Vaseline/grease, Porosity Control, Silk Protein/Amino Acids... there are others.

These have been discussed in past threads about protection during relaxing.

I'll go see if I can find the threads, and link them.


Silk Protein Protection: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=112817