Major Relaxer Setback After Yearlong Transition. What should I Do? [Pics]

[manter26]

IDK!! I feel so bad. Looking back, it was such a dumb decision to try to do a long-term transition. I wanted to go natural but I should have never attempted to transition. I knew that I could never cut my hair off and rock a fro so since I had seen others on the board do a long-term transition and since my hair was long, I thought I could handle it by just wearing buns.

I won't try to transition again until I am ready to just cut my hair off. Which, at this point seems to be never.

I was going to suggest a BC since your ultimate goal was to go natural, but I guess you don't want to look like you have natural hair...I'm confused by this.

Anyway, I think a cut is needed...you might be at neck length but in the long run it'll be much easier to look at thicker, shorter hair than the hair you are left with now. Most of the time I think posters are over-reacting when they have a set back, but the difference in your hair makes me really feel for you.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Toy]

Sorry to hear about your setback.You will make it through.

 

[imaccami]

If you mainly wear twist outs and have had success with that, I would suggest that you continue to do twist outs. If I'm not mistaken you can't see the thinness of the ends when it's in a twistout, so you wouldn't need to cut.

I think what you experienced when you could tell something was different the second she rinsed out the relaxer was the no-lye. Try doing a chelation. Search the no-lye threads and find the advice about chelating.

If the thinness of your hair overall is bothering you, you could try rollersetting. Your hair will appear thicker. I agree with you that it was probably the sew-in that caused the damage.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

I'm so sorry to hear about this experience.
Maybe you can gradually trim the ends, get a sew-in for a short amount of time and get a corrective when you go home.

Since you transitioned, you already know that you can stretch relaxers for some length of time.
I had a similar experience as yours but my hair was only neck-length (from neck-length to ear-length). The hardest part about the cut and damage was actually just looking at it. Hiding your hair while it grows out might help.

If you're not already using sulfur, you might want to look into it. In my personal experience, I had more success with sublimed sulfur than MSM and I've noticed extra growth with Nioxin recharge vitamins.

Remember, the chances of it not growing back are significantly lower than the chances of it growing back. Each day will go on; it's inevitable-- and you will get to where you want to be.

ETA: Ooh, I misread the line about sew-ins. Maybe a "fall" half-wig or a cute spring cut?

EtherealEnigma I can definitely cosign these two!

 

[TLC1020]

That somewhat happen to me and my hair remained hard and coarse until a lye relaxer was used.. Not sure if you felt safe relaxing your own hair but that should have your 1st thought b/c you were in a new environment and some stylist don't know how to be careful with a lot of new growth. I know they hate that..

 

[Mrs. Verde]

Soror ~ I'm sorry for your setback. Do you have a steamer? If not try a homemade steam treatment to get some moisture into to your hair.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et17m_A2B0M

But not too much since your are relaxed. Make sure you keep a moisture/protein balance.

 

[BraunSugar]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Everybody has given you some good advice already, so just baby your hair & I'm sure it will snap back & get healthy again!

 

[Chanteuse]

So sorry about your setback. Your hair actually doesn't look bad from the back. I agree with the posters who have suggested roller sets if you're not ready to cut it right away. They will camouflage your ends and give you some fullness as well.

 

[AlliCat]

sorry to hear about your setback. You've received some sound advice from this thread
xx

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Wow your hair was gorgeous before the stretch. I would cut it to SL and do face framing layers. Sorry about the set back, but whatever u were doing before get back to ASAP!

Sent from my Zio

 

[ellebelle88]

So sorry that you're going through this. I wouldn't do a corrective personally as your hair has already gone through enough trauma. I would just do plenty of protein and moisture DC's, get a good cut and incorporate low manipulation bunning to kick start your recovery.

Cream Tee, I agree, I've decided that I'm not going to further traumatize my hair with more chemicals. I will just treat the next 3 months by wearing protective styles and using little heat. Then I will relax around the 3rd month like I normally do.

Is it also possible it is not so thick because it was just relaxed? When you wash your hair do you air dry it? Just air dry or blow dry on cool only. Let it become puffy and full - take a pic of your hair then. Also for your ends trim a little off. Moisture and seal you hair and bag those ends. Keep it as moisturize as you can. You said when you were transitioning there was breakage, so it was there already. I think relaxing your hair just made it more noticeable.

Bnster Yes, because I JUST got a relaxer, my hair looks even thinner. However, this is the first time my hair has looked this this thin after getting a relaxer. Everytime I got a relaxer I used to wear it straight for a week, then I would do twistouts for 4 the next weeks. Then, I would flat iron my hair around week 6 or 7, so usually when my hair was flatironed it had a months worth of new growth and it looked much fuller.

 

[ellebelle88]

So sorry to hear about your experience op. When I first saw your thread title, my heart dropped because after a 12 month relaxer stretch/possible transition, I had decided to relax my hair in the coming weeks. However, after seeing your thread and hearing about your experience I am hesitant to do so. A fellow member shared a link to a salon here that does silk presses and thermal relaxing and I will call them Monday to set up an appointment. Until I am 100% sure that I want to be relaxed, I will hold off on making any decisions in haste. I definitely agree with the ladies that recommended getting rid of the ends. I will have to do this at my upcoming appointment for the health of my hair.

morehairplease, I wouldn't necessarily say that you will end up in the same situation I am in if you get a relaxer. My problem was that I had gotten so used to taking care of relaxed hair that it was so difficult for me to learn how to care for natural hair. I hated putting "moisturizers" on my hair because they had such a strong scent plus they weighed my hair down with a greasy look. These things contributed to me experiencing a lot of breakage because my hair was often so dry. Also, I had a sew-in in for about 4 months, so I wasn't able to wash my hair and when I took it down, I experienced a bunch of breakage at the demarcation line because my hair had been so dry. Couple this with the fact that my stylist used a no-lye relaxer on my hair, all of this was recipe for disaster.

There have been plenty of women who stretched for 12 months without a problem. If you felt you did a good job protective styling and keeping the moisture in your hair, you probably won't have as extreme breakage as I did. In any event, keep me posted on what you decide to do and your results. Good luck my sister.

Girl, you're not vain. I would be crying too, but your hair will recover. We've all had set backs.

bellebebe lol, I don't know why your comment made me laugh. Then it instantly made me sad...

I was going to suggest a BC since your ultimate goal was to go natural, but I guess you don't want to look like you have natural hair...I'm confused by this.

Anyway, I think a cut is needed...you might be at neck length but in the long run it'll be much easier to look at thicker, shorter hair than the hair you are left with now. Most of the time I think posters are over-reacting when they have a set back, but the difference in your hair makes me really feel for you.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

manter26, Hey there, I think I mistyped. I didn't mean to say that I could never rock a fro, I meant to say that I could never do a big chop. I have no problem rocking a fro but I wanted it to be more than a mini-fro. I was planning on gradually cutting my relaxed ends so that it wouldn't be a drastic cut. I hope I didn't offend anyone when I said I didn't want to rock a fro, because that was not what I meant.

If you mainly wear twist outs and have had success with that, I would suggest that you continue to do twist outs. If I'm not mistaken you can't see the thinness of the ends when it's in a twistout, so you wouldn't need to cut.

I think what you experienced when you could tell something was different the second she rinsed out the relaxer was the no-lye. Try doing a chelation. Search the no-lye threads and find the advice about chelating.

If the thinness of your hair overall is bothering you, you could try rollersetting. Your hair will appear thicker. I agree with you that it was probably the sew-in that caused the damage.

imaccami, Thank you! I will invest in a chelating shampoo. I did clarify immediately as soon as I got home. That helped a bit but my hair still feels "weird."

 

[ellebelle88]

Just wanted to write an additional post thanking everyone who responded to this thread. You ladies are so helpful and you made me rethink the hasty decision I was going to make immediately after I saw how much hair I'd lost, which was either get a "corrective" (another relaxer) or cut my hair.

I have decided instead that I will gradually trim a little bit at a time and baby my hair. I'm going to go hardcore. Vitamins and protective styling, you name it. I think I'm going to do a thread detailing my progress and I will post pics in the thread every 2 months.

 

[IMFOCSD]

Hey Ms ljbee!

You wil be okay and your hair is still a nice length and the thickness is nice. You dont need to do much, just cut what needs to be which is not much. A nice hardcore protein treatment followed by a moisturizing DC and lots of moisture to the ends daily and DC weekly or twice a week. Your braidouts will still look nice IMO and your hair will be back the way it was or even better in no time.

 

[SavannahNatural]

Just remember that your hair doesn't make you or define who you are regardless of the length!!

While the title of this forum (Long Hair Care) does appear as if this is all about how long your hair, my hair, her hair is, the women/men on this forum have truly made me believe that the goal is healthy hair.

I've always wanted long hair, and the longer I would try to let it grow (without really doing anything special) the more I would realize that it just wasn't meant to be. The thickness of my hair is inconsistent once it got beyond my ear, and scraggly ends was not the way to go.

So I say that to point out to you, whatever the length, scraggly ends don't look good! Accept your hair as it is and have fun with whatever comes of your trim! Twist outs will work on SL/NL hair! It might not look as you're used to seeing it, but it'll definitely work!

 

[isobell]

If you mainly wear twist outs and have had success with that, I would suggest that you continue to do twist outs. If I'm not mistaken you can't see the thinness of the ends when it's in a twistout, so you wouldn't need to cut.

I think what you experienced when you could tell something was different the second she rinsed out the relaxer was the no-lye. Try doing a chelation. Search the no-lye threads and find the advice about chelating.

If the thinness of your hair overall is bothering you, you could try rollersetting. Your hair will appear thicker. I agree with you that it was probably the sew-in that caused the damage.

I agree! Rollersetting and/or twistouts are great for giving the appearance of thickness especially after a fresh relaxer. Also if your hair is feeling rough you might want to rewash your hair with neutralizing shampoo, there have been many times when people had a bad relaxer experience only to realize their hair was inadequately neutralized which can leave you with breakage and/or rough and dry feeling hair. ORS makes a clarifying shampoo that should do the job of both neutralizing and chelating quite well. Make sure you leave it on for a few mins then proceed with a very moisturising deep conditioner. hth!


eta: oops looks like my suggestions have been covered already. Anyway good luck, I'm sure your hair will be back to normal in no time!

 

[howyoudoin]

Its not like your bald or anything so dont fret, just cut about maybe two inches of your ends and do a strict no heat, low manipulation regimen with lot of oil treatments and deep conditioning .You should be good by the beginning of summer. Some people do well with sew ins and and all that type of stuff but its not for everybody. Good luck.