Major set back

[trulyurangel82]

I just got my hair corrected today finally. Well actually it wasnt even a corrective. The lady said my hair was very underprocessed everywhere so she was going to have to do a virgin relaxer.

I started self relaxing in august . I didnt do it right I guess for months and it just keep getting underprocssed. Anyways afterwards I could tell the length of my hair was shorter. I guess my hair has been sheading for months and was breaking off even when I put it in protective styles.

SO yeah she said she was going to have to cut my hair. My hair was shoulder length months ago and now its like ear length. Im so upset. But I know its my own doing. Now I have to start all over. This sucks.
My hair is kinda thinner too (my hair is fine to begin with) and right when my hair was getting thicker and growing..I come to this. ugh. I feel like crying. When I saw how short it was in the mirror after she was done. I just lied and said that it looks nice. In reality I wanted to cry because my hair is so much shorter and thinner.

Well at least I have my BT that is working.
The relaxer didnt take all the way . She said since it was virgin that a couple more relaxers would get it straighter and to come in 6th weeks.

Has anyone had a major set back? Stories pls.

I guess all I can do is use BT almost everyday, keep conditioning and not useing heat till it grows back out.

I will never self relax ever again. I know some people can do it but I cant.

 

[KiniKakes]

I'm sorry to hear this story. I know how devastating that must have been to look in the mirror and see all your months of hard work lost.

The silver lining in this cloud is that now your hair is in OPTIMAL health, what with that major trim and all. So now there is no reason to trim any time soon!!!! Hide the scissors from yourself, and adamantly refuse if this stylist offers!!!!

As you've said, i would focus now on using your BT regularly, eating heathy, moisturizing and DCing, incorporating some vitamins into ure regimen if u arent already, and finding a protective style, esp. as ure hair creeps back toward shoulder length.

You'll be back to your original length, and then some, in no time!!!!! HHG!

 

[trulyurangel82]

I'm sorry to hear this story. I know how devastating that must have been to look in the mirror and see all your months of hard work lost.

The silver lining in this cloud is that now your hair is in OPTIMAL health, what with that major trim and all. So now there is no reason to trim any time soon!!!! Hide the scissors from yourself, and adamantly refuse if this stylist offers!!!!

As you've said, i would focus now on using your BT regularly, eating heathy, moisturizing and DCing, incorporating some vitamins into ure regimen if u arent already, and finding a protective style, esp. as ure hair creeps back toward shoulder length.

You'll be back to your original length, and then some, in no time!!!!! HHG!

thank you. this helps a lot. I feel better now.

 

[mscocoface]

That is the beauty of hair. Unless you do some serious follicle damage growth is always going to happen.

Your regimen sounds great, just keep it going and you should see the results of your work real soon.

You can do this hang in there.

 

[KiniKakes]

thank you. this helps a lot. I feel better now.

Im so glad! *hugs*

 

[diamondlady]

Sorry to hear about your set back, but set backs will happen. I should know, I've been the board Drama Queen, when it comes to set backs. Just keep on going, don't give up, things will turn around.

Sometimes you will be discouraged when you see people on the board who started their journey after you but are so far ahead of you, but just keep on trying. Some of us will take a little longer than others to reach our goals.

Keep the faith, and remember you can always come here for encouragement.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Sorry to hear that. My biggest setback has to do with weaves, this was years ago, like 5 or 6, when I wore partial sew-in weaves. My own hair shoulder length always a little longer in the back so I could pull em off well and then I got attached. I started getting lazy with them and sleeping without wrapping, it'd get tangled and I'd comb roughly and brush continuously to to blend my hair, it was just a mess. So I took it out once and it was so broken at the ends and so uneven in the back and all over I just took the scissors and evened it all out myself, touched up with a relaxer and put in a very warm almost firey almost magenta, hot red auburn semi-perm rinse in my hair that stayed in and transformed itself into all kinds of colors for months. It ended up being such a cute sexy stylish bob cut, that I always wanted but was too afraid to get done, and there I was forced to do it. It was long enough in the front to do a side part and swoop over my face and the back and sides was longer than the middle of my neck but not quite at the bottom of it, I LOVED it.

I haven't had any setbacks on my long hair care journey so far. But for you, since it had to be done it'll be for the better in the long run. And I guess what you can get from my story is you can turn a hack into happiness. Best of luck!

 

[tricie]

Hi, trulyurangel82,

I am sorry to hear about your setback, but as the other ladies have said, it will grow back! I have had many setbacks over the years myself, and it always grows back. Maybe not in the timeframe you want, but it will come back. The information on this forum is totally INVALUABLE!

Personally, I'm afraid to self-relax; I have never done it, and at this point, I don't think I ever will. I have seen my mom do it on her hair, and back in the day, she used to do blow out kits on my dad! I know there are a lot of ladies on the forum who do it successfully, but it is just not for me; I can't experiment with it since I just don't trust myself with that type of chemical; my hair prefers lye, so I ain't messin' with that! Since you have decided not to self-relax again, just make sure you have a stylist or person that understands your long and short term hair goals and has had success with healthy hair and growth. I thank God that I found mine and she is WONDERFUL!

Also, keep up with DCing and the BT; I have only used it since Easter and already have ng, and I am only 3 almost 4 weeks post relaxer!

Hair hugs to you, girl!

 

[Cayenne0622]

Kini hit the nail on the head! I know its hard and it sucks because more than anything we want longggg hair so badly and we want it now! The good part is that you have something to look forward to. You get to start over with fresh healthy hair and you got BT???? Girl, you are good to go. My journey with LHCF only began because I couldn't figure out why my hair was shedding. My hair has been super healthy for years!! Unfortunately, due to me being overly anxious and excited, I did wayyyy too many things with my hair by looking at the threads here. In the end, I ended up underprocessing my hair a couple of times and doing things that don't work for EVERYONE'S hair. I'm still trying to get things right but I'm more confident in what I'm doing.
I can't wait to see your progress in the months to come. Go get 'em!

 

[trulyurangel82]

thanks everyone. you guys are awesome.

 

[Nonie]

(((Trulyurangel))) I'm so sorry. I've had a few set backs since finding out that my hair could grow. Perhaps I'd have a wonderful mane if only I'd stop getting off track:
* One time was when I stopped regular trimming coz no one else I knew was doing it. My ends thinned so much I had to cut off at least 2 inches to get it back to the fullness I like.
* Second one was all my fault: Went heat crazy after realizing how much easier styling pressed hair was than when it was in its kinky state. I'd take a shower, steam would shrink it, forcing me to press again. So imagine doing that daily for almost a week or two. My ends looked awful by the time I caught myself. Had to dismiss them too.

But in both those cases, I was the one doing it so I was at peace with the action

* My latest set back was not at all my idea. And I honestly don't think my hair was in such bad state. It was dry because I hadn't DC'd in ages, but with my regular trims, I think it was OK. When the stylist told me she'd cut my hair, I didn't know she meant she'd take it from this to this (and I don't even like the do; I was hoping for shingling lessons, not twirls or whatever you call these things). When the hair is "untwirled" I get a TWA . So I know exactly how you feel.

But look on the bright side: As Kinikakes said, this is a new beginning. You can do everything right from now on. Prevention is better than cure, so rather than trying to save hair that is not processed properly, you're getting another chance to grow your hair right from scratch.

One of the things I found myself being happy about is that I don't have to feel that oiliness/stickiness on my neck or ears, since I'm now using leave-ins. Like SvelteVelvet said, you can make the most of every length on this journey so that you never find yourself envying a look you see later on short hair that you then will no longer be able to do coz you're at bra-strap.

Hugs,

 

[sholly6]

sorry to hear your story, just remember now you can start a new slate and with all you have learn from the forum your hair is going to be everything you wanted to be in a few short months.

 

[gymfreak336]

Hey girl,

I know how bad it sucks but the ultimate bright side about hair is that unless you have a major medical condition, it will grow. I think about from last year to know how far I have really come. I had two cuts last year with atleast 3 inches taken at each cut and I still had trims all year long. Even this year I had that botched salon accident but you know what, my head doesn't even look the same. The quality of hair on my head now is totally different. I mean a full 180 degree turn around. And even with all the trims, my hair has still gained length. The point I am trying to make is that it will get better. Stay consisent with your regime. Wash and deep condition atleast once a week, moisturize daily, limit heat use and use wide tooth combs. I wasted so much time thinking about how long my hair could be if I didn't have these setbacks but it in the end was a neccesary evil. Without that stylist messing my hair up with color, I would have never realized that even though it was getting longer, it was getting more more dry. I would have never taken the intitative to learn how to rollerset so that I wouldn't go through that experience again. I also wouldn't have realized that I wasn't recieving proper care. I was getting deep conditioned with proper conditioner, I wasn't getting protein treatments and I was becoming dependent on someone who didn't care as much about my hair as I did. You are going to have to take each setback in stride and learn from it. When I got cut by that student I cried and cried and even though I didn't want her to cut my hair, I have to admit that that cut might have been a blessing after all. The last of the colored damage hair is gone and my breakage has slowed down. It took the cut to make me realize what I was doing wrong and to make changes. Stay strong and patient. You will get there. We will get there and the whole point of this site is to help each other get there together.

 

[Chromia]

I'm sorry this happened. I remember having underprocessed hair and having to get a haircut. I was 17 and my mom had been sending me to this lady who did hair at her house. She had converted one room into a mini-salon. Now that I think back, I wonder if she even had a cosmetology license. erplexed After a while I noticed a lot of shedding and breaking. There were strands of my hair all over my pillow and the floor all the time. When I went to a new stylist who went to cosmetology school and worked in a real salon she told me that my hair was underprocessed and she cut it. I went from APL to above SL.

I'm impressed with the self-relaxing skills of some of the ladies here, but I don't think I'll ever do it.

You have a good plan to use your BT, DC, and avoid heat. There are some fotkis you can check out if you haven't already for inspiration and motivation - sylver2's comparison pics, Lauren450's progress album, and JenniferMD's snap shots from the past.

 

[LadyZ]

I just had a set back... Oh well, I have moved on.... It hurts, but rest assure it will get better...

 

[kandi1280]

Cheer up girl you'll be ok. I joined this board 2.5 years ago after getting a bad relaxer put in by a new stylist. I ended up with a twa and went natural for 9 months. Then I found it wasn't for me and textlaxed. I was textlaxed for a little while when my old stylist left it in a little too long and started my journey back to being relaxed.

Then I stayed away from the boards for a while as life kept me busy and I became lazy. Although my hair grew it could have grown a lot healthier and would have been much longer now, if I had paid more attention to it.

Now that I really started getting back into my hair, I had to cut it, it was drying out on me because of my own neglect. But as everyone stated that's the beauty of hair. Its shorter, but thicker and much more moisturized. Its also growing at a faster rate then it was before. Set yourself new goals, continue with your regime, and watch it grow.