Members with Non-Black SO's: How are they with your hair?

[SparkleDoll]

My SO is an East Indian born in America. He likes my hair straight and bouncy (as do I.) He also likes my updo, which is really good since I like to rock them when I'm giving my hair a rest. But are relationship is new, so he acts like everything a do, say, and wear is perfect.

 

[Christelyn]

Real talk, Christelyn. I was thinking the same thang as I typed that post.

I think I hear a faint song in the distance...

"Reunited and it feels so good.." :heart2:

But, no pressure. ha ha

 

[luckiestdestiny]

That reminds me of something that happened yesterday. One of my Asian classmates asked questions about my hair. She seemed timid to ask at first, it was kinda cute. I guess since I wore my hair out for the first time since the year began( in a braidout some days earlier.) I explained to her about shrinkage and stuff, and she seemed amazed. Then she pointed to another black girl and asked about her hair and why mine was different. So I explained it was chemically straightened and compared it to someone with straight hair getting a curly perm. I also had to explain that no, her hair didn't grow out of her head straight and that she needs to get touch-ups like women who color their hair. She assumed most black girls' hair grew out a straight, since most of the black girls in my school wear their hair relaxed. I guess to her, my hair was the anomaly. It was nice getting the chance to educate her a little though.


I don't think people of other races sweat our hair as much, but may be curious. I'm guessing a good percentage of members of other races are prolly' clueless about our hair, and might make false assumptions based on what they see until they get the chance to ask.

Cute story. I think you're right too about the false assumptions unless they feel comfortable enough to ask.

 

[LadyAmani]

My SO is so sweet and supportive about it, he always compliments my hair even when i know it looks a mess lol he is hispanic but was adopted by white ppl and he loves my hair he says its unique ( he's used to blonde straight hair ) lol he loves my curls and he loves running his fingers through my hair.

 

[otegwu]

my SO is white english, he loves my natural 4b hair, hes the one who quickly removes the wig as i enter the house, when i first texturised my hair he wasnt the biggest fan, but he prefers me to wear my real hair straight or natural, but he understands that protective styles help me maintain the hair he loves so much!

 

[HoneyDew]

These stories are so cute. Some of them are so touching. It's amazing how members of other races are more sensitive, supportive and in tune with our hair, while some members of our own race are not.

I don't think this is true. I was not going to comment in this thread because I really don't feel that men in general make that big a deal about our hair and beauty, unless we do.

I have always known men to be sensitive about my hair, but that's only because they see we make a big deal about it.

Right now, I have two men in my life (yes two - don't judge ) One black and one white. Both realize how important my hair is to me and how much "trouble" I go through to keep it healthy and looking nice. Both comment on what they like about my hair and styles they prefer. But, at the same time, I know that is really not that serious to them in the grand scheme of things.

I think men really don't care as much as we think they do. But when they care for us, men do tend to want to shoe that they care for the things that are important to us.

I think we are driving the haircare issue and the men are only responding to it - directly and indirectly.

 

[Whimsy]

My SO loves my hair curly or straight. I BCd when my hair was BSL and he loved my cute lil afro. Luckily I have a guy who knows that my hair doesn't make me. (tho I suspect he prefers it longer vs shorter...more to tug if u know what i mean)

 

[drasgrl]

When I had a white bf he hated my hair. He didn't like that it wasn't straight enough so he could run his fingers through it and it was greasy ( this was when I was still using that nasty grease). Hate is a strong word but he didn't care for it too much.

My bf now is Chinese and he really doesn't give a rats ***. He doesn't touch it (fine with me) except to try and braid a piece once. He doesn't say anything about it doesn't complain about it, except to complain about my hair on the floor because I shed a lot.

 

[LongCurlyLocks]

Well, I have only dated outside my race once-the first was about four years ago and now currently. Both are Latin and both have said they like/liked my hair when it's out and curly. I have 3 ish type hair.

 

[lilshama86]

I wore a weave for the first six months with my hispanic BF and he always hated that I wouldn't let him touch my scalp and it never looked really natural anyway.... he's the one that motivated me to work with my own hair and give up the weaves ... he still has no clue why I need so many products and he laughs at me everytime I sit under my hair dryer erplexed but he's supportive and we're both waiting for the day that i reach APL

 

[SW2011]

My SO is great. He loves my hair anyway that I wear it. After I relax it, he'll comment on how long it's gotten. If I'm stretching, he'll comment on how he loves my "waves". If it's in a bun, he'll even say that he likes that. I told him that after we get married, I may transition to natural, and he was so excited. He loves to play in my new growth now, and I make him rub my scalp after work. He's learned a lot in the 4 years that we've been dating. If I spend the night at his place, he'll always say, "Ok, time for bed, don't forget to wrap your hair in your bonnet thing." LOL!

He even takes hair advice from me. He used to only use shampoo on his hair, and didn't understand the point of conditioner. I kept telling him that he needs to use conditioner, and one day he went to Great Clips and the woman said, "You don't use conditioner, do you? You should pick some up." Now, he's all for me telling him what to do with his hair.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

From what I noticed Black guys tend to like my hair straight and white men prefer as is.

I have to disagree on this statement. ALL of the black men I have known or dated casually and seriously, prefer natural hair over weaves, extensions and permed hair.

 

[Moisture2608]

My DH loves my thick, curly/kinky hair. In fact, he's the one that often says~ "why you want to use heat?; why you want to use chemicals?" He has profusely encouraged me not to use all that stuff and this was long before I ever even made hair my passion.

 

[Christelyn]

All these stories are great. In fact, I'm thinking about how I can pitch this as a story idea to some editors I know. Great feedback, everybody!