Mistakes made as a natural(for everyone)

[darlingdiva]

1. Caring about what e-folks said. I didn't need all that conditioner. Sure, I got enhanced "coil definition" from it but it made shrinkage and tangling and knots WORSE.

2. Relying on twists as a protective style. They aren't really, unless you can actually make a bun with them. After one nearly 2-year period, my front twists stretched all the way to my bottom lip, but the back was barely SL. erplexed Massive breakage back there.

3. Salon press = heat damage.

4. Too many chops.

5. Thinking that natural = healthy; simply on the virtue of being natural alone.

I agree w/ so much of this.

@ #1: I know understand that listening to MY hair is key (e.g., I know that, for my hair, the "naturals-don't-really-need-protein" mantra doesn't hold true for my hair at all. I need protein at every wash.).

@#2: I've always felt that a style isn't "protective" unless my ends are covered. Therefore, I don't consider my twistouts to be protective styles.

@ #5: I don't know what I was thinking there.

 

[darlingdiva]

This is a good thread. I am determined to learn from my mistakes as this is my 3rd time natural.

1. Thinking that salons know more about my hair than I do.
2. Impatience in general. And thinking that a texturizer/relaxer would cut down on time needed to take care of my hair.
3. Thinking that using heat protectants meant that I use heat as often as I wanted.
4. Not using a satin cap *ever*.
5. Thinking all products are equal (not finding out what works best for my hair).

Yes!!! Heat protectants reduce, NOT ELIMINATE, the possibility of heat damage.

 

[glamazon386]

The only big mistake I made were those damn highlights

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

As a pre-teen/teen natural (been natural since then):

*No trims ever
*Not sleeping with a satin cap
*Curling irons
*No moisture ever
*Gel to slick back the front
*Not washing often enough and NEVER using conditioner

More recently:
*Trimming too often...now I only do it 1-2 times a year
*Sometimes get into a phase of not moisturizing enough
*The one time I got a press (as opposed to wash and set/blow-out) I had some heat damage in certain parts.

 

[jennboo]

Honestly my FIRST biggest mistake as a natural was relaxing my hair in the first place.

My SECOND biggest mistake as a natural was pressing my hair. Heat damage galore, obliterated my texture.

I get so mad when i think about how much hair i would have now had i never relaxed or heat tortured my hair, lol.

 

[foxee]

Not trimming often enough/holding onto scraggly looking ends. I BKT'd the last week in December, which is the first time I flat ironed or did a length check in 9 months. My ends were literally see through! I lost a lot of progress since my trim but my ends look so much healthier!

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Texlaxing... I wish I could undo the damage. I have SO MUCH breakage at the line of demarcation it's sickening. Once I finally grow out this texlax and trim it all off (slowly, no BC this time!) I will NEVER go back to chemicals again. I did it out of frustration and desperation at how tangly my hair was. What I *really* needed to do was to start using porosity control and give myself a good trim to cut off the splits and SSK that was causing the tangling, not add bad to worse.

That was really my biggest mistake as a natural. It's 50x harder for ME to keep this chemically altered hair healthy compared to my natural hair. I was just so put off by how massively thick my natural hair is... in my sig you can see it looks pretty thick and that's AFTER the texlax. The natural hair is WAY thicker, and it's intimidating.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Not being consistent with anything related to hair growth. If I had been honest and consistent, with all the growth I get, who knows, I could had been BSL by now

This year I'm going to be consistent. No more skipping deep conditioner treatments or protein treatments and then expecting my hair to grow 3 inches after just one week of vitamins, lol!

 

[HauteHippie]

Texlaxing... I wish I could undo the damage. I have SO MUCH breakage at the line of demarcation it's sickening. Once I finally grow out this texlax and trim it all off (slowly, no BC this time!) I will NEVER go back to chemicals again. I did it out of frustration and desperation at how tangly my hair was. What I *really* needed to do was to start using porosity control and give myself a good trim to cut off the splits and SSK that was causing the tangling, not add bad to worse.

That was really my biggest mistake as a natural. It's 50x harder for ME to keep this chemically altered hair healthy compared to my natural hair. I was just so put off by how massively thick my natural hair is... in my sig you can see it looks pretty thick and that's AFTER the texlax. The natural hair is WAY thicker, and it's intimidating.

I totally hear you! For some reason, keeping that texlaxed hair is way harder than my 1st transition from a straight relaxer! Maybe b/c of the tangles... My 1st goal is APL and when I stretch my hair with some of the texlaxed hair, I'm SO close to APL. I could just kick myself in the behind!

 

[Ganjababy]

Not combing for 2 weeks- works for some, does not work for me.

 

[Poohbear]

1. Rough Blowdrying With Comb Attachment: I don't see a problem with blowdrying natural hair. However, I think if done roughly or in a hurry, especially with a comb attachment and with tightly coiled hair, it can cause split ends like it did for me. Also, I think taking too big of a section of hair to blowdry caused damged too. For my hair type, blowdrying smaller sections works best.

2. Flat-ironing With Grease: When I first discovered this 2 years ago, I was in love!!! It made my hair super straight with no reversion at all. All I needed to do was 1 pass with the flat-iron on each section. However, over time as I kept doing this, I think it caused split ends too. I noticed when I flat-iron a section of hair with grease, it made a scorching sound that I would just ignore and it made that section of hair really hot in temperature. It also made my ends feel somewhat rough even though the hair was smooth overall. I could hide the rough split ends by curling the ends with the flat-iron to smooth it.
Now I found a technique that is less damaging....after washing, spray setting lotion and blowdry sections of hair one at a time, then flat-iron in sections. No extra products used.

3. Excessive Dry Combing/Picking: Even though combing/picking dry hair gives your hair more volume if you want a big fluffy afro or puff, it can cause breakage on the ends if you do it too much or not gentle enough. I also read that combing/picking your dry hair too much, especially if tightly coiled, is like giving yourself a haircut every time you comb/pick it.

 

[Vonnieluvs08]

For me it was using heat (incorrectly) to transition which meant lot of heat damage when I BC'd and shorter hair.

Right now its not putting my hair up so it's not rubbing against my clothes.

Not using a satin cap at night but that's just more laziness of not trying to find it.

 

[sheava]

1. Getting my hair pressed at a salon (major setback - heat damage - hair came out in clumps)

2. Keeping my twists in more than 3 weeks (tangled mess)

 

[Minty]

-washing my hair in two-strand twist = a tangled mess
-dealing with my hair when tired, frustrated, hungry
-really wanting it to behave like my old textlaxed hair did - delusional
-wanting to see "progress"
*not coming to the realization that I don't like short hair, and that my BC was a reaction to severe breakage. I should have been more patient and transitioned with long hair than to shave it off and be saddled with a "TWA". I texlaxed then later relaxed to get it to lay down as it grew out.

-Not purchasing a quality flatiron, or understanding my hair's stance on heat usage. LOL

 

[CORBINS]

Chemicals (texlaxing already heat damaged hair does not change the fact that the hair is damaged).
Heat.
Trimming too often, and with poorly sharpened tools.
Washing hair while loose.
Not deep conditioning enough.

 

[br0wney3z]

This is some good advice

 

[cluelezz]

I wasn't trimming enough at first
I didn't always detangle and when I did I didn't always section it.
I didn't moisturize often enough.

Now I'm trying to come back from tangles and single strand knots galore.

 

[honeybuni84]

-washing my hair in two-strand twist = a tangled mess
-dealing with my hair when tired, frustrated, hungry
-really wanting it to behave like my old textlaxed hair did - delusional
-wanting to see "progress"
*not coming to the realization that I don't like short hair, and that my BC was a reaction to severe breakage. I should have been more patient and transitioned with long hair than to shave it off and be saddled with a "TWA". I texlaxed then later relaxed to get it to lay down as it grew out.

-Not purchasing a quality flatiron, or understanding my hair's stance on heat usage. LOL

that made me chuckle.. but it is soo true


also not allowing for enough time to do hair...

relying on weaves, until it was long enough to deal with ... ugghhh the breakage...

 

[PinkyD]

1. Growing my hair out with no knowledge of moisture, hair care, etc.
2. Using permed hair practices on natural hair ( I assumed the natural hair would just grow and no breakage would occur).
3. I did mostly protective styling when I had a perm, yet that went out the window with a natural.
4. Tex-laxing after one bad press, I thought If my hair could not be straightened while natural, then I wouldn't want to keep it natural, so I texlaxed almost two years of (SL-APL) growth.
5.Tex-laxing - I can't say it enough, it is harder to maintian than fully processed hair--BREAKAGE!-- I thought my hair wasn't growing.
6. Having my hair break off the first time I transitioned, I slept on the hair all the time, never knowing that the relaxed ends would break off leaving me with a mullet.
7. Hi-lites- my natural hair cannot withstand it anymore than my permed hair could.
8. 1997 - I was 11 years old. I had a choice between a pressing comb and my first perm. I chose the perm...thus began a ten-year journey.
9.Tex-Laxing - First I used ORS Olvie Oil perm, then I went back to old standard Just for Me. "Children's" perms = DRYNESS = BREAKAGE!
10. Not learning my hair, im still in that process

 

[Vashti]

Not DCing regularly.

Grease: I never liked grease in my hair. I hated that it would grease up my pillow cases and I was paranoid about sitting in window seats on the bus (grease spots! Yuck!). So I started using water based moisturizers only and I didn't moisturize very often, thinking that this would be better for my hair and when that didn't work (massive breakage) I had forgotten how to moisturize properly to make my hair manageable. Took me a while to figure out that I don't need heavy grease in my hair to keep it moisturized.

Dry combing: I've always used wide toothed combs but since my hair was always so dry whenever I combed it the ends would break and large balls of hair would come out so I could never retain any length.

 

[yardyspice]

I would get into a style rut and then get some sort of "style." Of course, that just meant a smaller afro because of shrinkage. Now, I just get a new wig!

 

[FAMUDva]

Too many wash and go's...Those things (for me) were treacherous!!!

I am just learning this one . Thankfully I've caught it before it turns into a major setback.

I've learned that I can NEVER use a pressing comb for MY hair. Burnt it relaxer straight when the stylist used a hot comb. Only ceramic heat for me from now on.

 

[FAMUDva]

I wanted to add that all salon presses aren't the evil for naturals. I thought so after the chick burned my hair straight with the pressing comb . I later learned that a natural salon is KEY... one that focuses on total hair care of only natural and transitioning heads. Now that I've found that I have no heat damage issues (knock on wood).

I forgot the other mistake I've made was NOT trimming regularly! By the time I actually got a trim I had to get so much more trimmed that I should have had to have.

 

[Allandra]

I had a long transition before I was natural. I definitely learned a lot from the ladies here at the LHCF.

 

[silenttullip]

After almost 5 years of being natural I've made many mistakes.
TOP MISTAKE : not researching and jumping on product wagons
Using same products and tools for permed hair on natural hair
using sulfates all the time
using regular wigs with combs.... NO NO NO If you have dandruff or dermatitis or just sensitive scalp those combs can make your scalp inflammed and make your condition worse and cause hair loss. I now use human wigs ONLY without combs and instead of that tight stocking cap or crazy hair net I use a satin scarf under the wig. I don't sleep in the wig either I did that a few times dumb mistake
ripping my hair when I had knots and tangles instead of finger combing and detangling with a spray or leave in
sleeping with hair uncovered
DYING MY HAIR WITHOUT USING ENOUGH MOISTURE
failing to moisturize and seal or moisturize at all
scratching my scalp when it itched
using the stupid products like ketaconozole from my dermo which caused hair loss instead of scalp improvement
not embracing my hair
PLAYING WITH IT ALL THE TIME
using cantu leave in without understanding protein can cause mad breakage
not knowing just cause something said castor oil or shea butter it didn't mean it was natural or had much of that ingredient in it at all.
Example - shea butter melted or whipped with other oils can work better than cantu shea butter leave in and you aviod protein damage.
Scrubbing and not section when shampooing hair.
Not deep conditioning
never oiling hair or scalp (if you have dry scalp)
not washing enough (when scalp was oily)
Not using balancing products
And the most recent mistake (fixin what aint broke) getting new products when I already had a working regimen. IT CAN DO MUCH DAMAGE
Skimping on my vitamins when I saw great results with them

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

thanks for startin this thread OP. i'm really happy you're going natural again! i think we relaxed the same year too. i'm natural again as of today. i hope we can stick it out this time. ♥

 

[Rapunzel*]

thanks for startin this thread OP. i'm really happy you're going natural again! i think we relaxed the same year too. i'm natural again as of today. i hope we can stick it out this time. ♥

me too and the sad part is that i would have been almost bsl. i cant wait to bc, ill be one year post in june. congratulations on your bc






this thread is very helpful even to myself, i hope others chime in and tell your experiences, even if you want to stay relaxed/ chemically altered

 

[cocosweet]

I've been natural long enough to know better, so it pains me to admit I made these mistakes just a few months ago:

Colored my hair (some type of red by Feria). It's been drier than usual ever since.

Approximately 1.5 weeks after said coloring I asked my mama to hard press my hair (Something she's been able to accomplish w/o incident my entire life).

When she got done, my hair was at least two inches shorter and seemed diminished in volume so I trimmed off my craptastic ends. How do you not notice you are burning someone's hair off?!
My longest layers had just hit MBL too.

Suffice to say, she joined to banned and I have to spend half of 2010 getting my hair back.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Biggest mistake of all: sew-ins! It's so hard to take care of my hair under a sew-in, because the more I try to baby my hair with leave-ins and DCs, the greater the likelihood of getting mildewed hair! This has happened to me more than once. It took a long time to correct it (ACV and tea tree oil can help with this) and I was afraid I was going to need to either live with it smelling funky when wet or BC all over again They are definitely not for everyone.

 

[darlingdiva]

After almost 5 years of being natural I've made many mistakes.
TOP MISTAKE : not researching and jumping on product wagons
Using same products and tools for permed hair on natural hair
using sulfates all the time
using regular wigs with combs.... NO NO NO If you have dandruff or dermatitis or just sensitive scalp those combs can make your scalp inflammed and make your condition worse and cause hair loss. I now use human wigs ONLY without combs and instead of that tight stocking cap or crazy hair net I use a satin scarf under the wig. I don't sleep in the wig either I did that a few times dumb mistake
ripping my hair when I had knots and tangles instead of finger combing and detangling with a spray or leave in
sleeping with hair uncovered
DYING MY HAIR WITHOUT USING ENOUGH MOISTURE
failing to moisturize and seal or moisturize at all
scratching my scalp when it itched
using the stupid products like ketaconozole from my dermo which caused hair loss instead of scalp improvement
not embracing my hair
PLAYING WITH IT ALL THE TIME
using cantu leave in without understanding protein can cause mad breakage
not knowing just cause something said castor oil or shea butter it didn't mean it was natural or had much of that ingredient in it at all.
Example - shea butter melted or whipped with other oils can work better than cantu shea butter leave in and you aviod protein damage.
Scrubbing and not section when shampooing hair.
Not deep conditioning
never oiling hair or scalp (if you have dry scalp)
not washing enough (when scalp was oily)
Not using balancing products
And the most recent mistake (fixin what aint broke) getting new products when I already had a working regimen. IT CAN DO MUCH DAMAGE
Skimping on my vitamins when I saw great results with them

Clicking the "thanks" button wasn't enough in regards to the bolded--especially the second bolded.

We hear all of these glorious reviews and we're tempted to try everything, but experimenting really can be detrimental to progress. I have absolutely no excuse because my hair doesn't need new products periodically. Once I find a product that works, I can use it repeatedly and my hair will react the same.