My Hubby Wants Me To Remain Texturized!

[DDTexlaxed]

I was talking to my hubby about my hair goals. Going natural, bcing, and all, and he tells me: Please don't cut your hair. I like the way you have it now. He never voices his opinion about anything to do my hair-cept that I buy too much stuff! But this?! I may give in to light lexturizing only. The mtg won't let my hair get too strait anyway. He's always been so supportive of me, I will give him his way... for a little bit....

 

[weaveadiva]

sounds like he is more worried about the length than it being natural
maybe you could just transition w/out the chop

 

[CurlyCrly]

From what you posted, it sounds that way to me too. I bet it will be pretty either way because you are doing good things for your hair.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I think u guys are right. He said something to his friend about me always cutting my hair short. I am still unsure what to do. He's such a good hubby- he even gave me extra $ to get my hair braided....I will prob give in to light texturizing, which mtg will make relaxing/texturizing very temporary. I uess I won't be bcing after all. erplexed

 

[LondonDiva]

The way I see it, whether male friend, boyfriend or husband, do whatever it is you want to do with your hair. You are the one in the long run that has to look after and maintain it. If you want to BC it and go natural then do so, whether lightly texturised or relaxed you're still applying a chemical that requires maintenance, you've obviously considered going natural for a reason.

 

[so1913]

The way I see it, whether male friend, boyfriend or husband, do whatever it is you want to do with your hair. You are the one in the long run that has to look after and maintain it. If you want to BC it and go natural then do so, whether lightly texturised or relaxed you're still applying a chemical that requires maintenance, you've obviously considered going natural for a reason.

Hello!!!!

If this is how it works, I soooo need to stay single....(yes, I'm stubborn, especially when it comes to MY hair, lol)

 

[mscounselor]

sounds like he is more worried about the length than it being natural
maybe you could just transition w/out the chop

I agree with this. Doing things just because of someone else breeds resentment...(ok sorry, the therapist is coming out ). I say do the transition WITH THE BRAIDS, but just keep the length. If you trim every once in a while, it won't be the drastic thing he is referring to.
Sad how men are more obsessed with hair than us sometimes...

 

[angellazette]

The way I see it, whether male friend, boyfriend or husband, do whatever it is you want to do with your hair.

So true! My boyfriend dislikes the fact that I don't wear my natural hair out. I always tell him "one day"...he just says "this is ridiculous!" But he knows I'm going to do what I want with it and "one day" I will wear it out!

 

[hopeful]

In another post didn't you say your hair was growing in wavy anyway instead of kinky because of the MTG? If that's the case, what will texturizing do to the newgrowth? I guess I'm just confused. Sounds like you want to please your husband and it sounds like you really want what he wants anyway. So good luck to you and I hope you enjoy your hair texturized. IMHO life's too short to fret over hair constantly anyway. Follow your heart, make a decision and get on with it.

 

[chocolate01]

In another post didn't you say your hair was growing in wavy anyway instead of kinky because of the MTG? If that's the case, what will texturizing do to the newgrowth? I guess I'm just confused. Sounds like you want to please your husband and it sounds like you really want what he wants anyway. So good luck to you and I hope you enjoy your hair texturized. IMHO life's too short to fret over hair constantly anyway. Follow your heart, make a decision and get on with it.

I agree. I hope you make a decision that is based on what you want and are happy with it.

 

[Neroli]

Well, I think it's OK to accomodate and take into consideration the opinions and desires of your husband -- I certainly do on some things because I respect and love him. After all, you probably want HIM to consider YOUR opinions and accomodate YOU on certain things. Successful relationships requires give and take . . .

I pick my battles with him very very carefully 'cause when I want what I want, I want what I want . . .

 

[deedabug]

i dont see why its a need to choose a battle over ur own hair...something on ur own body?? its nor hurting the husband or u to cut ur hair off and sport it natural...so i couldnt be givin someone that much control over my own body and what's growin out of it...but i guess i'll stay single too....

wait i was already plannin on that....

 

[Country gal]

Well, I think it's OK to accomodate and take into consideration the opinions and desires of your husband -- I certainly do on some things because I respect and love him. After all, you probably want HIM to consider YOUR opinions and accomodate YOU on certain things. Successful relationships requires give and take . . .

I pick my battles with him very very carefully 'cause when I want what I want, I want what I want . . .

What would be the compromise? Can you sport braids and transition your hair versus the Big Chop?

 

[Neroli]

i dont see why its a need to choose a battle over ur own hair...something on ur own body?? its nor hurting the husband or u to cut ur hair off and sport it natural...so i couldnt be givin someone that much control over my own body and what's growin out of it...but i guess i'll stay single too....

wait i was already plannin on that....

Okay. But how I wear my hair is a choice that I am willing to allow him input, especially because it doesn't hurt anyone or anything - bascially costs me nothing to please him in this area (there are sooo many OTHER areas that I simply won't budge on, so I gotta give him a little something something LOL!

 

[Neroli]

What would be the compromise? Can you sport braids and transition your hair versus the Big Chop?

Hasn't come up yet as I'm not interested in transitioning nor in the BC. He loves me in braids (I think he feels like I'm a whole new woman or something!) and likes my relaxed hair out AND doesn't want me to cut it. So far we both on the same page, no problem . . .

 

[deedabug]

Okay. But how I wear my hair is a choice that I am willing to allow him input, especially because it doesn't hurt anyone or anything - bascially costs me nothing to please him in this area (there are sooo many OTHER areas that I simply won't budge on, so I gotta give him a little something something LOL!

i could say how it is unhealthy for a fully capable woman that isnt hurting anyone including herself to let ppl make decisions for her and how it can lead to resentment (soemone else already pointed that out) and self hate to some degree in the long run...but i wont....


there r too many spins that could be put on that statement and im not in the mood for arguing....or that mock 'debating' thing...


natrlchallenge i hope ur hair decisions work out for u and maybe some day i'll see u on the natural side

 

[luvSLave]

Well, I think it's OK to accomodate and take into consideration the opinions and desires of your husband -- I certainly do on some things because I respect and love him. After all, you probably want HIM to consider YOUR opinions and accomodate YOU on certain things. Successful relationships requires give and take . . .

I pick my battles with him very very carefully 'cause when I want what I want, I want what I want . . .

ITA...what's the big deal? I look at hair as an accessory. And, I feel confident enough that allowing some compromise about my appearance is okay with me. In the same vein, when I tell my SO I prefer him in certain attire I'd hope that he's wear it to be attractive to me. It's just not that deep for me.

 

[Neroli]

i could say how it is unhealthy for a fully capable woman that isnt hurting anyone including herself to let ppl make decisions for her and how it can lead to resentment (soemone else already pointed that out) and self hate to some degree in the long run...but i wont....


there r too many spins that could be put on that statement and im not in the mood for arguing....or that mock 'debating' thing...


natrlchallenge i hope ur hair decisions work out for u and maybe some day i'll see u on the natural side

OKAY. Folks can "spin" anything to conform to a particular point of view or justify a position. . . PEACE

 

[Neroli]

ITA...what's the big deal? I look at hair as an accessory. And, I feel confident enough that allowing some compromise about my appearance is okay with me. In the same vein, when I tell my SO I prefer him in certain attire I'd hope that he's wear it to be attractive to me. It's just not that deep for me.

DITTO. Basically what I'm saying . . .

 

[Puddles]

Well, I think it's OK to accomodate and take into consideration the opinions and desires of your husband -- I certainly do on some things because I respect and love him. After all, you probably want HIM to consider YOUR opinions and accomodate YOU on certain things. Successful relationships requires give and take . . .

I pick my battles with him very very carefully 'cause when I want what I want, I want what I want . . .

[size=+1]I totally agree. This is coming from a woman married for 17 years. If she is not going to bc to please her husband....there isn't anything wrong with that. It doesn't make her less of a woman or person. "Every" relationship is a give and take. And a boyfriend doesn't compare to a husband by a long haul.

Hey...the only reason I'm growing my hair back out is for my husband. He wanted to see me with long hair again. He agreed.....3 more years and I'm cutting it off. I have no problem with making him happy. 'Cause he spoils me something fierce.[/size]

 

[MomofThreeBoys]

Do whats best for you AND your hubby. I have input in what grows out of DH's body and therefore I let him have input on what grows out of mine.

urr...hmmm...dear, not every brother looks good with a bald head

[size=+1]I totally agree. This is coming from a woman married for 17 years. If she is not going to bc to please her husband....there isn't anything wrong with that. It doesn't make her less of a woman or person. "Every" relationship is a give and take. And a boyfriend doesn't compare to a husband by a long haul.

Hey...the only reason I'm growing my hair back out is for my husband. He wanted to see me with long hair again. He agreed.....3 more years and I'm cutting it off. I have no problem with making him happy. 'Cause he spoils me something fierce.[/size]

 

[Puddles]

urr...hmmm...dear, not every brother looks good with a bald head

[size=+1]Oooo...I know that's right![/size]

 

[toinette]

Well, I think it's OK to accomodate and take into consideration the opinions and desires of your husband -- I certainly do on some things because I respect and love him. After all, you probably want HIM to consider YOUR opinions and accomodate YOU on certain things. Successful relationships requires give and take . . .

I pick my battles with him very very carefully 'cause when I want what I want, I want what I want . . .

i dont thik its a big deal either. geez, its just hair. it seems as if youre not violently opposed to keeoing it all on your head anywyas, so there is no real conflict. andi 'm beyond pissed that someone rated your thread 1 star. for what???

 

[miracle]

i dont thik its a big deal either. geez, its just hair. it seems as if youre not violently opposed to keeoing it all on your head anywyas, so there is no real conflict. andi 'm beyond pissed that someone rated your thread 1 star. for what???

That doesn't make much sense to me, either.

Naptrlchallange, I would definitely say to choose the style that works best for you, but if you want to make the compromise for hubby, there's nothing wrong with that either. It doesn't sound like he gave you an ultimatum or anything but rather gave you some input. It's not much different than if someone here said they were going to cut their hair and other members said, "Oh no girl, don't you dare cut all of that beautiful hair off!!!" Just input. The persons usually going to do what they want do anyway.

Again, the decision is all yours, but you won't be any less "capable" if you decide to indulge hubby's input.

 

[1Specialk]

Well, I think it's OK to accomodate and take into consideration the opinions and desires of your husband -- I certainly do on some things because I respect and love him. After all, you probably want HIM to consider YOUR opinions and accomodate YOU on certain things. Successful relationships requires give and take . . .

I pick my battles with him very very carefully 'cause when I want what I want, I want what I want . . .

Totally agree!! I'm not in a relationship, but I would think you want your man to be pleased with the way you look.

 

[jainygirl]

Whatever ends up working for you two then, work it out . I"m glad that it was a 'whatever you wanna do i'm happy with thing" in my own situation. I was already under enough stress with just my own thoughts; it was a relief knowing that it was gonna be all good no matter what I decided.

 

[Jewell]

My boyfriend likes nearly every style I wear/have worn with 2 Pocahontas braids being his favorite. He really wants me to go natural, and I really want to also, so he is always there for encouragement. He would not like it if I cut my hair short though. I wouldn't like it either, which is why I am transitioning to long natural hair then BC'ing the long relaxed hair. I will wear wavy/curly styles to help it blend.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Thanks for all yr comments ya'll. My hair is hating the braids so much, that I'm never getting them again! How do u guys transition for over a year?! Anyhow, I am going to b/c my hair. The three textures-relaxed,texturized , and natural are just too much to handle! My hubby is a bit diappointed, but he'll get over it. Anyhow, I don't know what my ng will look like, but it is growing in wavy/curly pattern. I will prob get it cut next saturday. I'll spend the rest of the year making it up to him.

 

[hopeful]

Thanks for all yr comments ya'll. My hair is hating the braids so much, that I'm never getting them again! How do u guys transition for over a year?! Anyhow, I am going to b/c my hair. The three textures-relaxed,texturized , and natural are just too much to handle! My hubby is a bit diappointed, but he'll get over it. Anyhow, I don't know what my ng will look like, but it is growing in wavy/curly pattern. I will prob get it cut next saturday. I'll spend the rest of the year making it up to him.

Really????? Oh my, I am surprised. You sure threw us a curve-ball there! Good luck Natrlchallenge. I hope you'll love your natural hair.

ETA: Don't forget to take pictures.

 

[Jewell]

Thanks for all yr comments ya'll. My hair is hating the braids so much, that I'm never getting them again! How do u guys transition for over a year?! Anyhow, I am going to b/c my hair. The three textures-relaxed,texturized , and natural are just too much to handle! My hubby is a bit diappointed, but he'll get over it. Anyhow, I don't know what my ng will look like, but it is growing in wavy/curly pattern. I will prob get it cut next saturday. I'll spend the rest of the year making it up to him.

God Bless! Can't wait to see the new 'do!