My Stepdaughter's BSL(?) Hair

[purplepeace79]

OK she is 7, so she doesn't wear a bra lol

Her hair was relaxed when she was 3. She had beautiful, thick hair.


Edited to remove face pic

Her mother, however, decided to relax it

Now, she is 4 years later in her growth and should be much longer. However, her mother doesn't take proper care of her ends. She has about 3 inches of split ends. I asked her about cutting them so her hair can be protected, but she is all about length, no matter how scraggly. I explained that the length would be healthier and longer if she took better care of the hair. She isnt trying to hear me.

I took these pics while I was braiding it.
I don't know much about caring for relaxed hair, so any tips on what I can do while I have her to try and revert or ease up the damage to the ends, would be greatly appreciated. Her mom asks me to do her hair, but wont let me cut it. d

 

[Toy]

Love her hair and she is a cutie pie.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Well you can always show her what happens when you don't protect those ends. But I am going to have to give this "mom" the side eye for relaxing this girl hair at 3. I doubt she would listen to you since you are the SO of her daughter's father (right?)

 

[testimony777]

What a cutie! Her hair is very pretty.

 

[JJamiah]

She is so adorable. Awww!

 

[DMJ's Mom]

What about the father? Correct me if I'm wrong but he gets a say in how the girl is raised. My friend has the same problem. The mother would rather have the daughter walking around with her hair a hot mess greasy, frizzy, flakey than have her wash the poor child's hair. Her father lets her take care proper care of the girls hair and deals with the mother after the fact. Maybe he could talk to the mother about cutting the girl's hair. Probably no matter what you say or how much sense it makes the mother probably won't listen to you just because.

 

[Lola Laughs]

So cute! Unfortunately I don't have any words of wisdom. However, after reading so may horror stories about moms not letting step moms even touch the little girls' hair, I think it's good that she wants u to do your SDs hair (as any decent mother should).

 

[longhairlover]

she is adorable, but you have to talk the mom into trimming those ends, if not they are going to move up and take her length.

explain to the mom that damaged ends move up the strand and if not cut off with ruin all that length the daughter has. just keep working on her maybe she'll eventually let you trim it.

 

[finickyone]

What a beautiful little girl!

OUCH, 3 inches of split ends? Can that even be reverted? I thought split ends had to be trimmed, but I could be wrong. Hope you get some suggestions to pass along. This little girl has beautiful hair & it will be a shame to see her ends ragged & thin.

 

[nissi]

Ask her to do it. If she trims a little at a time, 1/4 of an inch, she will still have the length and won't feel like you are trying to jack her daughter's hair...

 

[4evershika]

I agree with ButterCaramel... talk to Dad and he can hash it out with Mom... but she is adorable!

 

[knt1229]

The only thing you can do is keep the ends moisturized. If they are split there is no way to reverse that. You can give her a deep conditioning treatment to lessening the appearance of the splits but aside from cutting that is pretty much it.

Also, you could try to point out to the mom that the hair will still be long even if the splits are cut off.

 

[TamedTresses]

I think the best way to do it would maybe be to show how some printed information about how split ends can damage the hair shaft. She may not willing to take your word for it, but maybe if she reads it from a credible source she'll come around.

And promise her that you will cut it off gradually. That way she wouldn't even miss the length.

 

[caribeandiva]

she is a cutie pie but those ends must go. maybe the mother doesn't wanna cut it cause she thinks it won't grow back.

 

[sharifeh]

she is a cutie pie

 

[mrsjohnson75]

You should only do whatever her mother allows you to do.

the.end

 

[topnotch1010]

All you can do is inform her. Ultimately is her child and her responsibility. Most parents don't take too lightly on someone stepping on their toes about the way they parent their children.

Inform her and back off.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

All you can do is inform her. Ultimately is her child and her responsibility. Most parents don't take too lightly on someone stepping on their toes about the way they parent their children.

Inform her and back off.

Exactly, like possibly posting her picture on the Internet without permission. Many parents don't take that too lightly. Not a good idea.

 

[BostonMaria]

OMG she's such a cutie pie! I love her eyes.

I think you should respect her mother's wishes just to avoid any problems. I'd just baby her ends and take care of it the best you can. My DH and I have custody of his girls so I take care of their hair. Their mom has no say in what we do and she's ok with that. I try not to rock the boat just for the girl's sake though.

ITA on blurring out her picture. Her parents might not like that.

 

[Hysi]

maybe ask the mother if she could do the trim/ dust every couple of weeks until they
are all gone. at least it's growing still and small dusts at a time may not be so noticeable. when i started dusting every other week (because i was afraid to do it at one time), my hair flourished because the splits were finally getting off. a marked improvement.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

You should only do whatever her mother allows you to do.

the.end

I'd like to add to that, maybe you can suggest a minor trim. Instead of telling her that her daughter needs 3 inches cut off, suggest 1/4 to 1/2 an inch. Show her where you'll cut it, ask her permission and have her be there when you do it. Repeat every month or so, so that there is no "difference" in the length....but then to do these suggestions I believe your hair has to be on point. I know that you're on lhcf and you're learning from others but I have to be honest. If I had a child, and a lady whose hair was not on point was suggesting what to do, I'd roll my eyes and keep it moving. That includes length and health1. I notice that with hair shorter it's easier to keep it looking good, just keep hacking away. That doesn't necessarily mean it's taken care of (sometimes it's an illusion). Though I realize that there are some short haired girls with chewed up ends, too. Just a warning for what she might be thinking...

There are people who seldom trim their hair and their hair is thriving. She is gaining length without the trims (sure she needs them, but I'm sure her mom has noticed that her hair is retaining albeit not prettily). Hopefully she'll agree. Otherwise I do feel you should back off, and honor the mom's wishes.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

^^^Also did you check really well? What you think are splits could just be really dry ends...did you actually see the splits? Just because they look fuzzy doesn't mean they split. I don't usually have fuzzy ends, but my cousin does and her hair is just fine. I've inspected it myself (we're both naturals. Not sure how that pans out on relaxed hair but I'm sure it's all the same).

 

[hairmaster]

I suggest that after braiding you just snip the ends of the braids to show the mother how nice the braids look with clean ends. If mother doesn't like idea then you can't blame yourself.

 

[LuvLiLocks]

She is a cutie pie

 

[likewtr4chklit]

Speaking from experience.....let it go.

 

[jazii]

omg. she is sooo cute =)

 

[ladytea]

She's a cutie and her hair is gorgeous.

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

She is super duper cute her natural hair was cute too.

 

[lux10023]

i would trim her ends a lil bit on the low--low--and make sure she is on top of her hhj even at age 3---with her cutie pie self... ;o)

children with parents who dont know how to maintain healthy hair need all the guidance they can get--not sure why her mom is trippin...smdh

 

[growinglong777]

Just wanted to say she is simply adorable!