Natural Ladies: Encouragement Please!

[Phoenix]

Okay-for about a year I've been seriously considering going natural. I was transitioning from July '02 to December '02, but then I broke down and got a relaxer /images/graemlins/angry2.gif. I haven't had a relaxer since then & part of me is ready for the "big chop" but the rest of me is really nervous. My list of reasons for going natural is about a mile long...but I'm still scared to do it. I thought that I had let go of all those stupid stereotypes related to hair, but I guess not. I really need some words of wisdom from you ladies!

 

[LadyDee]

I've been natural for 10 plus years. I never did a "big chop." I transitioned with braids and light presses in the winter months. Natural does bring with it some challenges. And I don't care what anybody says, YOU may be ready to shed the stereotypes, but the workplace is not. Before my hair breakage incident, I wore twists; updos, the whole gamut. I also wear very conservative braids. Even with the extra work (and it is), it is so worth it to me.
I love the look of a relaxer, but its not for me. The no chemical route has become the preferred trail for me. And let me say on a final note that there is nothing deep or spiritual about this "for me." It is simply my preference and what feels good to me.

Good Luck in your journey.

 

[Camille]

Phoenix, I just started a post where I was exclaiming over another members website. On it she explains her journey from Relaxed to Natural and even though I am relaxed, her site is very inspiring check it out! Here! Good Luck Girl!

 

[Lucia]

Well I don't want to influence your decision, but once you list the positives and negatives that should help you make the right decision for you, not me or anybody else. Another thing is you have the option of a "relaxed" look with blow drying/wet sets/ and flat irons, but I'd keep that to a minimum I mean natural hair isn't bulletproof.
hth

 

[sbg4evr]

Check out this link also. Very inspiring http://haircare.aldrea.com/intro.htm

 

[LuvableLady]

Since you have doubts, I personally would not recommend going natural at this time. If you have some type of allergic reaction to relaxers and you absolutely must stop now, then that is a different story.

I went natural via a big chop and I cut a bunch of hair off. If I did not go the big chop route I would have relaxed again because I don’t like nursing two textures and I was tired of extension braids (which I do myself), I just wanted to be me. The reason I stopped relaxing was because I wanted to grow my hair longer but before getting it longer, I wanted it in its natural state and the main reason for this is I didn’t want to have to worry about over processing or having to depend on a hairdresser the rest of my life. We all know if you plan on having healthy long relaxed hair, you better have a professional stylist to apply the relaxers correctly. Being relaxer free (for me) is going to give me less headache as I don’t have to worry about overprocessing my hair, spending money on touchups, new growth not matching the relaxed hair, sitting in a beauty shop all day on Saturday as someone eats chicken over my head (kidding), and so on.

Natural hair is beautiful and can look as professional as relaxed hair (at least mine does). It’s all in how you style the hair, don’t worry about Corporate America.

That's just my story, hopefully it will help.

Edit to add: The link that sbg4evr posted is a great example of how professional natural hair can look. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[BrightEyes]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
LuvableLady said:
Since you have doubts, I personally would not recommend going natural at this time. If you have some type of allergic reaction to relaxers and you absolutely must stop now, then that is a different story.

I went natural via a big chop and I cut a bunch of hair off. If I did not go the big chop route I would have relaxed again because I don’t like nursing two textures and I was tired of extension braids (which I do myself), I just wanted to be me. The reason I stopped relaxing was because I wanted to grow my hair longer but before getting it longer, I wanted it in its natural state and the main reason for this is I didn’t want to have to worry about over processing or having to depend on a hairdresser the rest of my life. We all know if you plan on having healthy long relaxed hair, you better have a professional stylist to apply the relaxers correctly. Being relaxer free (for me) is going to give me less headache as I don’t have to worry about overprocessing my hair, spending money on touchups, new growth not matching the relaxed hair, sitting in a beauty shop all day on Saturday as someone eats chicken over my head (kidding), and so on.

Natural hair is beautiful and can look as professional as relaxed hair (at least mine does). It’s all in how you style the hair, don’t worry about Corporate America.

[/ QUOTE ]


This is a great post, Lady. I agree 100%.

Do not go natural until you are ready, otherwise everthing will be a lot harder. Also, I never heard of the "big chp" until I started reading message boards. I pressed my hair until I had enough to work with.

 

[LuvableLady]

Thank you Brighteyes.

I never thought I would do a "big chop" either. That's when you cut all your hair off and sport a TWA until it grows. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[ngaa]

i agree wit the advice u've been given, so list down the good and bad about goin natural weigh them and see which ones u seem to lik emore and until u can decided STAY AWAY FROM THE SCISORS /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[sweetcocoa]

If the only option I had was to do the big chop...I wouldn't be natural today. I did it gradually...only chopping off 4 inches when the natural part of my hair reached chin length. I transitioned by keeping the 2 textures 'similiar'...either by rollersetting and using a temporary sraightening balm on the roots or by putting a texturizing curling lotion on my relaxed sections when wearing it natural. I will say it was much easier once the majority of it was natural(I kept 2 inches ofn relaxed ends for a while). I figured if I didn't like being natural...I could always relax again.

 

[sassygirl125]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I figured if I didn't like being natural...I could always relax again.

[/ QUOTE ]

Same here. I promised myself I'd try it out for at least two years. So far I think I'm doing the right thing for my hair. Plus, I've always liked big hair. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Justice4alw]

Hi, Phoenix! /images/graemlins/wave.gif First, let me say that as a natural for approximately three years that this is the best thing that I have ever done for my hair.

I never had good luck, as some ladies do, with perms. I don't know if it was my particular hair composition or lack of knowledge and inappropriate technique on the part of my stylists, but I just never had good luck. My scalp was always irritated, my hair was always dry, I had a lot of shedding and breakage, and I couldn't accumulate a decent amount of length. I also always hated the dynamic of being at the mercy of unprofessional, uncaring stylists who for the most part acted as if they were doing me a favor.

I've found a new freedom in going natural and my hair and scalp have never been healthier. I'm finally starting to get significant length, and I love the feeling of empowerment that comes from being able to "do" my own hair.

But long story short ... you have to do what's right for you. This is a process, a journey. If you don't feel that the "Big Chop" is right for you, then don't do it. Take the time to transition using a method that is appropriate for your hair. Learn what your hair likes and what it doesn't. Experiment with new products and hair styles. I truly don't believe that there is just ONE WAY that is right for everybody.

This board is a wonderful resource. The ladies here are very openminded and supportive as well as knowledgeable about positive hair maintenance techniques. I'm still overwhelmed with awe and respect at the way that permies and naturals are able to coexist peacefully and respectfully here.

As you progress along in your journey to natural, just give a shout out about the different challenges that I promise you are sure to come. There'll always be someone here to give suggestions that will help you along the way.

Good luck!

 

[LuvableLady]

Doing a big chop takes a lot of courage and most people know if they can handle something like that. You need to have the right face for it. Fortunately, I have a face that's nice for short or long hair (I hope this doen't sound conceded (sp), I do have many other faults like I was to weak to transition for a year /images/graemlins/smile.gif). If I were overweight and had a larger neck, I would have never done a big chop because I would not feel comfortable with short hair, long hair is like security and a covering to hide with.

It is not for everyone only for the people who don't like hassling with two different textures and are weak and may be tempted to relax again. I would not be natural if I didn't do the big chop as two textures look horrible to me, it looks unkept.

I love it and hair grows so fast that it's only really short for about 6 months. It is nice that we have options. I didn't chop right away (I only call it a big chop because I cut more the 10 inches at one time), I did transition for about 4 months so my TWA is larger then some who do a big chop. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

It is great that we have so many different options on the road to cutting out the relaxer whether it be for a season or the rest of our lives. Mine is for the rest of my life.

 

[sassygirl125]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
If I were overweight and had a larger neck, I would have never done a big chop because I would not feel comfortable with short hair, long hair is like security and a covering to hide with.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is my problem with "the big chop". I would look like Beetlejuice if I had less than 5" of hair! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[Phoenix]

Thanks for all of your advice. /images/graemlins/scratchchin.gifI think I will wait until around June and get it cut then,that way my hair will be long enough to cover up any lumps and bumps in my head.

 

[BrightEyes]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
LuvableLady said:
Thank you Brighteyes.

I never thought I would do a "big chop" either. That's when you cut all your hair off and sport a TWA until it grows. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


Oh, I'm familiar with it. But I have been relaxer free since 1998. I didn't start on hair boards untill 2000, and that's when I learned about the "big chop". /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[Daughter]

Hello, like others have posted, I didn't chop it all off (not until I had about 11 months regrowth), largely because I knew that it wouldn't suit me (I am blessed with a, uh, generous forehead!)

I found that the key is taking care of the hair. I just paid mine the normal attention; little heat (only blowdrying) and I mostly wore canerows and braids at first until I cut off the relaxed hair.

Good luck! /images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

[Honey Vibe]

Hi Phoenix:
I did "the big chop" back in September 2001, basically because I didn't know any better: I had never heard of transitioning. Even quirkier, I had only one month of natural growth when I did it.

I'm forever glad with the decision. I guess what I'm saying is that there are lots of ways to go about it, and there's nothing to fear as far as unattractive consequences.

 

[BabyCurls]

Phoenix, I've been natural since the late 90's, and to me it's better for me to stay that way. I made a mistake when back in the 70's, I had my hair broken off because of the relaxers and wearing two ponytails down the middle. /images/graemlins/wallbash.gif

Because my hair was fragile, I never went back to chemical relaxers. Anything worse could really pay the price on my hair. Also, you may want to check out Gold Medal for their natural relaxers called Herbal Tame. I am going to order some later on. Here's the e-address: www.goldmedalhair.com.

Just want to pass it on to you.

More hair, Grow hair.
BabyCurls /images/graemlins/rosebud.gif

 

[Momstar]

I personally went with the chop because when I tried the transition thing I got it relaxed after six months. Cutting it off at one time was a way of committing for me. I had a relapse with a texturizer after a year but after that I used no more chemicals. I feel like I have grown because I am learning how to take care of my own hair. I am also saving tons of money doing my own hair-even though I spend an obscene amount of money on hair products. What I tell myself now to keep me from perming is that I can get a perm when I reach my goal length. I don't know if I really will get a perm when my hair is long and healthy, but as long as I know I have my options it makes everything easier. I really like being natural because one day I can have an afro and the next day I can wear it silky straight.I can work a pressin' comb like a pro! I don't press it a lot though-that's a lot of work and sweat. I agree with everyone else-it is better to do it when you are ready. But keep in mind if you keep going back and forth you'll miss out on length. I could have been at my goal length if I wasn't so indecisive about the whole thing, but that's okay-I will have hair to my nippies before I graduate.

 

[LuvableLady]

There is nothing wrong with doing a big chop if that is what one chooses. Simply because one chooses to do a big chop doesn't mean they don't know what they are doing. I knew about transitioning and I did not want to go that way even though I did for 4 months. I would cut it again in a heartbeat. I look at it like this, if I am going to be "natural" there is no sense in prolonging it for months and months. I wanted to start learning and working with completely natural hair immediately because it is different then relaxed hair.

That's just me, I am not recommending that anyone cut their hair. Just wanted to say that. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Faith]

I also did the "big" chop because I didn't want to do it half-a$$ed....ya know. I'm not saying that's what transitioners are doing I'm just stating how I felt about it back then. But it worked out well for me. My ends were so overprocessed there would have been severe breakage if I tried to keep the 2 textures (one was limp and damaged, the other was kinky and very strong), wouldn't have worked. If I had to do over again I would still chop because I know myself...I wouldn't commit to natural when the relaxer was still hanging on. But, like others have said...do what feels right for you.

 

[Integrity]

faithM

 

[msladymam]

Hi Phoenix, I transitioned from Feb. 02 until August 02, then chopped all the remaining relaxed hair off. My plan was to transition until I had some length, but I couldn't deal with the two textures. It was a shocker, but I managed it. If you really don't want to do the the "big chop" don't do it. Take your time and think about what you really want to do; weigh all of your pros and cons. Good luck with your decision.

 

[Laela]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Phoenix said:
Okay-for about a year I've been seriously considering going natural. I was transitioning from July '02 to December '02, but then I broke down and got a relaxer /images/graemlins/angry2.gif. I haven't had a relaxer since then &amp; part of me is ready for the "big chop" but the rest of me is really nervous. My list of reasons for going natural is about a mile long...but I'm still scared to do it. I thought that I had let go of all those stupid stereotypes related to hair, but I guess not. I really need some words of wisdom from you ladies!

[/ QUOTE ]

Hi Pheonix /images/graemlins/wave.gif

My 2 cents: when in doubt, bow out. If you're uncertain about transitioning (or anything else) that's a sign that you're definitely not ready. You should be 100% sure, otherwise, you'll have regrets. This will be my 2nd go round going natural because I was in doubt about relaxing my natural hair, but did it anyway. So my experience was the other way around.... Only YOU will know if you're ready, no matter what kind of encouragement you get from others. What may work great for someone may not work best for you. Think of what works w/ your lifestyle and what image you want of yourself. The answer will come... Best of luck!

 

[leejure]

well, I have been permed but now I am natural. I really liked both ways, but I think I am more happy natural. I can not tell you how much fun I had growing out my hair when I did the big chop. Since then I never turned back.

You will not be sorry if you decide to go natural. And coming from a very feminine woman (most of the times anyway /images/graemlins/laugh.gif) you can rock your natural and put a BIG HAULT to all "eye rollers". I did!

-lee

 

[JenJen2721]

bump.

 

[carameldiva]

I was permed all of my life and then around Jan 03 i started thinking that i really wanted to go natural- so in June 03 i got the big chop w/o transitioning- I'll admit it is a shocker to see all of that permed hair on the floor but once i saw my new natural hair i fell in love with it. It was amazing how easy it is now for me to care for my hair and watching it grow, the different style. I am just in awe. Who knew that i had suck beautiful curls lying underneath.

 

[pookeylou]

I grew out my hair for 7 months...I grew out my hair to a length I was comfortable with. When I was clear in my mind why relaxers werent for me...THEN I did the big chop. To do it before that thought process...would have been a mistake.

While I was growing out my hair...I was reading (Hair Story by Byrd &amp; Tharps, Tenderheaded by Harris &amp; Johnson...several online articles about the history of OUR hair) I was looking through album after album after album of natural hair. I could see that it was not hard to manage...just different than what I was used to. I could see it was versitile and fun and healthy.

That whole process took time...and then I did the BC...and have not looked back. That's how I knew it was right for me...there was no trepidation or second guessing...I just did it because it was the right thing to do.

I dont think ANYONE should go natural unless you know the history behind our hair...all the other reasons for going natural are positive aspects of it...but going natural is not a fad or a "style"...it is a concious (sometimes rebellious" choice...and if you are not ready to stand out as different...then dont do it until you are ready.

It really is a personal decision.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Hi, I chopped after "transitioning" for about 2.5mths. I got my last relaxer Nov. 25, 2003 and cut off my relaxed hair Feb. 9, 2004...so in reality I chopped in about my tenth week. I really could not see myself fighting to keep the two textures peacefully co-existing on my head (and believe me it would;ve been a fight

) And through out it all I have only had one negative comment and I feel and look GREAT!