Naturals: What do you say when people tell you "you should relax your hair"

[PeaceFlow]

I am planning on hiding my hair until Christmas. It won't be long by the boards standards but because I've always had a TWA due to a skin disorder I had, I know it will be a big deal to people for me just to be CL/SL.

Thing is I told someone about how much it has grown and got the "you should relax, it would look nice" and this is the response I usually get even if the person is jacklaxed. If I say I don't want to relax because... I don't like my hair relaxed they just get more insistent when I just want the conversation to be done at this point.

What is your usual reply to the relaxing recommendation?

 

[gymfreak336]

I would just say "I do what makes me happy and what makes me feel good. Maybe you should do the same"

 

[lilsparkle825]

Thing is I told someone about how much it has grown and got the "you should relax, it would look nice" and this is the response I usually get even if the person is jacklaxed themself.

all i would say is "interesting" and change the subject.

 

[msa]

Jacklaxed person A: Girl, you need to relax your hair it's so nappy. It'd be so much prettier if you relaxed it.

Me: I'll relax when you go natural.

Jacklaxed person A: I could NEVER be natural.

Discussion over.

 

[Oasis]

Luckily no one has ever said that to me but I'd probably say the same thing msa said.

 

[Maracujá]

"I've made a conscious decision to take care of my hair in its natural state, and I intend to do so for the rest of my life. To each their own."

 

[Br*nzeb*mbsh~ll]

I tire of people telling me "You can put a little heat on it, it won't hurt..." I'm like, huh? If I wanted my hair straight, there's a million ways to straighten it. I like my curly bun, so leave me alone, already. It's usually older people, like 45+ that gives me this "great" advice. It annoys me. One continually drops product tips around me...it's so droll. I'm not going around asking for tips, so why do you feel you have to give 'em to me? Sorry for the rant, but it really ticks me off.

 

[guyanesesista]

I just say I don't want to and the conversation ends. But the people I say that to aren't persistent with it. I've yet to find one who will try to ram it down my throat.

 

[Bigghair]

No one says this to me. Just tell them this is the way God made my hair so if you have a problem with that tell Him.

 

[discodumpling]

I haven't met a person so bold yet (except my DH) but I would just say it's mine I do what I want & keep it moving.

 

[glamazon386]

Ask them are they going to pay for it and for upkeep. That shuts them right up.

 

[mj11051]

Carry a sock of quarters and start shaking it when they start talking about your hair.

 

[Sugarhoney]

"Jacklaxed" Too funny, that's a new one for me. I usually give the and ignore all topics on relaxing my hair. I am texlaxed now and 10 months post, and still get the neg "nappy" comments. The funniest are from white ppl who swear they know about AA hair. "Wow, I couldn't deal with all that coarse hair! You should get it chemically straighten. That's what [insert black woman's name] does."

 

[Southernbella.]

Her: Girl, you should relax that hair. It would look so much better!

You: Tell me, how has your relaxer helped you? From what I see, your hair is (insert issues here).

It's mean, but so what.

 

[loolalooh]

My reply: "It's not healthy for my hair." Then I keep it moving.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I would ask them why my hair is such a concern to them and walk away.

I'm not going to argue or try to convince someone who would dare to be so rude.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

No one has ever told me I needed to relax my hair.

ETA: Not yet...

 

[Ms Lala]

My reply: "It's not healthy for my hair." Then I keep it moving.

I have used this one before that it's not healthy for my hair or skin (which is true). I've never had anyone directly say I should relax but they have told me stupid stuff like "your hair is so long, you should straighten it. " I tell them that my NOT straightening it is part of the reason why it's so long. I really don't like the way I look with straight hair and I have told people this before as well.

 

[Ramya]

No one says this to me. Just tell them this is the way God made my hair so if you have a problem with that tell Him.

ITA. I haven't gotten this comment yet. But everybody pretty much knows that I love my hair the way it is.

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

I would tell them to relax their mouth... honestly I wanna know where are all these folks bc I have yet to have someone day dome crazy ish like that to me.

 

[yamilee21]

I get this all the time because people seem to think that the only point in having long hair is so that you can walk around with it straightened so everyone can see how long it is. I haven't come up with a good enough answer though, because people still say it to me all the time. Or they tell me I should cut my hair since I don't want to relax it. erplexed As if it is a crime to have long non-straightened hair.

 

[Junebug D]

Them: "You need a perm."
Me: "No, I don't."

That shuts 'em up.

 

[Magus484]

"I don't like relaxed hair. Since when are you qualified to give beauty tips?"

 

[Creatividual]

No one has said this to me either. I'd just say NO THANKS!

 

[IrrationalThoughts]

I ask them if they are going to come and take care of it for me, pay for the relaxers and for the time I have to spend in the salon? Or if it is my brother, I just tell him to GFY.

 

[alopeciagrl]

I'm sorry that you have been getting such negative comments about your hair. Me personally nobody has said anything to me about getting a perm. I love and talk about my hair so much they wouldn't dare say a word.

 

[KEWLKAT103]

Nobody has actually ever said that to me.
Very few people comment on my hair being natural in a negative or condescending way.
If they did, I suppose I would just tell them that if I wanted their opinion, I would ask for it.

 

[LoveLiLi]

WTH! People are telling you to relax your hair - on a regular basis? Rudity.

No one's told me I should relax my hair, but if they did I'd give them the look. You know how Tyra smiles with her eyes? Well, I have the talent of telling people to STFU with my eyes. It's a gift.

 

[GoingNatural]

I haven't gotten this yet. People ask if I think I'd ever relax again. I keep it short, "no". It has sufficed.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I get this a lot at work. I just tell them I'm trying to educate myself about MY natural hair. If I ever decide to relax again, I'll do it when I"M good and ready.