Naturals why do you choose NOT to relax?

[mrstwisty]

Good Question.

I decided to go back to my natural hair texture about 4 years ago. I caved in to family pressure and did not do it.

I got married and my husband was really feeling me when I told him what I wanted to do. With his love and support, I transitioned for a year and did the BC in 2003.

- I hated the time and money spent at the beauty shop
- My hair grew long, but being scared of water, exercise, sweat, and heat was quite enough for me.
-I love my curls, and I can wear it straight if I want to.
-Why do I have to fight with my hair texture when God gave it to me? If I was supposed to have straight hair wouldn't it grow from my head that way?
- No more drama

 

[pookeylou]

The ladies eloquently echoed my reasons for not relaxing anymore.

However my reasons for continuing to avoid relaxers has changed.

I have recently been getting emails with graphic pics from women (and 1 man so far) asking for help to recover from chemical induced alopecia.

Once you see a burned or balding scalp from a "Gentle Treatment" relaxer...your stomach kind of turns and you dont want to chance going down that road.

Not relaxing is a healthier choice for me.

 

[Valerie]

This is a very interesting topic. I have enjoyed reading all the responses. I used to have my hair in a curly perm and it grew quite fast, until it was past my shoulders and I decided to blow dry it and it break off very badly. I had my hair is braids and it grew back and I had it relaxed, which grew to my shoulders, then it break off again. I was natural for nearly 18 months, again it grew very thick and decided to relax again, it looked very nice, but after two years, it would broke, I changed to different relaxers again the same problem, I went to a hairdresser to have treatments, yes my hair would grow, however when I could not afford the treatments again my hair would break. I got fed up of the breaking growing problem. I used Wanakee hair products and again my hair grow, however when I could not afford to upkeep of the products again my hair would break and at one time, my hair was so dry it was like straw. So I kept my hair very low and used a texturiser, that was fine and again, I would grow out the texturiser. I started reading books, particularly Kathy Howse's book and at the time, I was swimming twice a week, and I noticed that my hair was getting thicker, also I had a mild texturiser. I had just joined the longhairlovers forum and I tried the hair tablets HF37 and I got significant growth. I let my hair grow out of the texturiser, then I went to a barber and he cut off my relaxed ends. Then I started washing my hair twice a week. I got good growth, but when I rinsed my hair every day for three months. Then I got a growth sprunt. When I was relaxed, I suffered from thin see-through ends, the sides of my hair never grow properly and it was only the front and the middle grew. Since I have been rinsing every day, my sides have grow significantly and for my back hair now that is another story. I put my hair in buntu knots, flat twist etc and I rinse every day, and that is the easier when to look after my hair. After 3-4 days I comb and style and back to rinsing. I use tap water, I add a teaspoon of conditioner, shake up to dissolve, I add glycerine and rosewater and 10p (dime size) of bicarbonate of soda, (tap water is very hard). When I add my hair in the kinky twists, I continued to rinse the same way, I rinse throughout the year and my hair has responded very well. I also like to colour my hair every Autumn (Fall) red. Although I do take supplements, the funny thing is that my hair is longer, than it ever was when I was small. The shampoos and conditioners I used are from the local supermarket, I don't visit any stylist and my hair is flourishing. Although I look at the women who have their hair texturised (silkened) and it looks very nice, but again I am not able to go to the hairdresser every 6-8 weeks or whatever. Again you have to rely on a particular stylist. Woman travel miles to get their hair done, I'm not able. I am very happy leaving my hair alone in its natural state, I love to colour, but hope and pray that I won't go back to texturising and I hope that I still have the enthusiasm of looking after my natural hair.

 

[NapturalGlory]

valerie your kinky twists are pretty and your color is darling! i always look forward to your updates. happy hair growing!!

 

[NapturalGlory]

[ QUOTE ]
pookeylou said:
The ladies eloquently echoed my reasons for not relaxing anymore.

However my reasons for continuing to avoid relaxers has changed.

I have recently been getting emails with graphic pics from women (and 1 man so far) asking for help to recover from chemical induced alopecia.

Once you see a burned or balding scalp from a "Gentle Treatment" relaxer...your stomach kind of turns and you dont want to chance going down that road.

Not relaxing is a healthier choice for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's it.

 

[kaleidoscope]

Hi-love this topic!

I'm a newbie, but have been transitioning from a perm since about early spring 2003 (have yet to do the big chop). For me, I am an exercise-aholic. I love pushing myself to limits (I even ran a marathon) and it was so freeing to me to just let my natural hair grow and not worrying about sweating out a relaxer. I always envied those girls who could achieve length with relaxers, I could achieve length w/ a relaxer-but what a price! I just had to realize that it wasn't in my make up to be that vigilant over my hair. Now, I can get away with minimal effort on my hair (still making sure its healthy-of course) but still my hair looks nice. I get compliments nearly everytime I'm in public and being natural has lent me a certain self-confidence. I walk like I am actually wearing a crown (crown of curls

) Another issue is that straight hair always had to look a certain way-full looking ends, some swing, no frizz, in order to be considered pretty. In contrast, curls/waves for any race, color, nationality its ok to see several different types of curls on one head. And I was just thinking, even if I was financially able to handle the upkeep of relaxed hair, I don't think I would go back. It's God-given, and I definitely can't improve upon that. I hope I haven't offended anybody-just wanted to be apart of this good discussion.

 

[A_Christian]

Re: Naturals why do you choose NOT to relax? *DELETED*

Post deleted by A_Christian

 

[dannie]

I want to transition, but I'm so scared. I'm almost a bra strap and my hair is very healthy relaxed. But I worry about long term damage, and the ladies here have brought up some good points. I might as well. I got about 3 months worth of new growth!

 

[dannie]

Nice thread. Very insightful. Gave me something to think about.

 

[A_Christian]

I relate so much to what you're saying dannie

My hair is healthy, I love my length and my stylist is excellent. But I'm not planning on living in my hometown forever and I fear what could happen when in the hands of a different stylist in addition to the long-term effects of relaxers. Almost all of my hair broke off when I was 8 from relaxers and I always fear it happening again. I know I would be so relieved just to press my hair when I want to wear it straight. That way I can wear it straight and not have to worry about burning and irreversible chemical damage. I know I will transition in the future, it's just a question of when.

 

[loverofnaps71]

My hair is very fine and so when I relaxed, it looked so thin! When I was in high school and relaxed, it was fine and didn't look as thin. It was bouncy and healthy and I often got called a "white girl," because it was long and bouncy. As I continued to relax my hair over the years, it got thinner and thinner. When I was a sophomore in college, I went natural and was natural for about 1 year, but didn't know how to care for my hair as it grew, so I ended up relaxing again. In my last year of my Master's program, I went natural again, just for a change. Well, after a year and a half, I relaxed again...not feeling armed with knowledge of how to care for my nappy hair.

I will be nappy for two years next month. I tell you: not only is my hair long and healthy; it's thick and lively. It's not frizzy or limp. It's full of life and shiny. I'm constantly getting compliments from men, women, blacks and whites. Yes, I still deal with some ignorance, but still I've never been happier with my hair and my hair has never been healthier.

Now don't get me wrong: sometimes I miss the bounce and swinging of my hair. I sometimes miss the attention I receive from black men, yet I'm finding that as I let my naps grow out, I'm starting to receive more compliments because I exude confidence in my naps. I used to be very defensive about my naps, daring anyone to say something stupid. But I am learning to chill and just be happy with my hair and how the freedom of being nappy has been really good for me; I don't think I'll ever go back. If I want it to be straight, like for a special occasion, I'll press it or something, but I don't feel the need for relaxed hair, really...

 

[MsNastassja]

Well it wasn't my choice at first. It was my mother's because my hair got damaged from swimming and I just never decided to go back. The way I see it anyone can get straight hair but to get a kinky mop on your head is a blessing! After a while it gets old though, all the pillow hair jokes and the evil people trying to put stuff in it. And at the airport they had to wave the wand over my hair to make sure nothing was in it! But I love my hair, it sets me apart. I'm very easy to spot in a crowd (which can be a good and a bad thing...). I also used to be defensive, especially when I was trying to figure out what to do with it and ended up putting it in two little puffs. Which made me look a few years younger, and got me the nickname of "Puff" at school. Now its just fun and games with my hair. I'm not defensive anymore. But my favorite thing would have to be that now I can just wash and go! That has to be the best thing. Its a real time saver.

 

[Whit]

i just felt so fake. think about it: why do other races just wash and go, while we have the "cursed" manes? Is it that God loves one race more than the other? NO...remember this, God never makes a mistake. Life is long...have long hair.

 

[cherish]

I bumped a related thread. This is the relevant part of my post in it:

What made you decide to be natural?

A myriad of reasons...
- My hair looked like a poor imitation of naturally straight hair to me.
- I dreaded washing and styling my hair. I always felt I would do something to screw it up, causing it fall out, so I went to a stylist as much as possible while resenting the expense and dependency.
- My scalp is sensitive. I saw no real advantage to keeping up the torture.
- Ignorant stylists.
- I've always loved the look of nappy hair, I just had no idea how to style and care for mine beyond my childhood routine of cornrows, plaits and grease. I was fed up enough that I figured I would just have to learn, one way or another (this was pre hair boards)

 

[MsNastassja]

Exactly Whit! Everyone's hair has advantages and disadvantages. Like people with stick straight hair might not have tangling problems, but it can never hold a curl. And then people with big hair full of volume (and maybe some frizz, too) might not ever be able to get it to lay down. But its all good, really. Don't be fake, be what God made you. Thats probably the main reason I decided not to go back. Why would I relax my hair? To try and be like white people or something? No offense, or anything. But does anyone see white people going out and trying to get fros? Like a kinky nappy fro? Not really. So why should anyone be going and trying to achieve this stick straight hair that their Maker didn't intend for them to get? Sorry for my rant... And if anyone who relaxes their hair reads this... remember... this is just my opinion. Ok?

 

[Ayeshia]

[ QUOTE ]
MsNastassja said:
Exactly Whit! Everyone's hair has advantages and disadvantages. Like people with stick straight hair might not have tangling problems, but it can never hold a curl. And then people with big hair full of volume (and maybe some frizz, too) might not ever be able to get it to lay down. But its all good, really. Don't be fake, be what God made you. Thats probably the main reason I decided not to go back. Why would I relax my hair? To try and be like white people or something? No offense, or anything. But does anyone see white people going out and trying to get fros? Like a kinky nappy fro? Not really. So why should anyone be going and trying to achieve this stick straight hair that their Maker didn't intend for them to get? Sorry for my rant... And if anyone who relaxes their hair reads this... remember... this is just my opinion. Ok?

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually the people in Japan pay to get there hair kinky like ours...weird but true

 

[TastesLikeMusic]

i found a picture of me at age 2 a while back that i had never seen before. i was in such awe of how pretty my hair was! it was slightly wavy...my mother had it in twisted ponytails and it was definitely longer than it is now! that was also something that drove me to the decision to transition.

 

[PretteePlease]

i was tired of "professionals" burning me and my pocketbook. i got tired of $85 hair days meaning i was at the shop all day even if i was the 1st in the chair. and i really just wanted to get to know my hair. now my mission is to get it long to the booty even.

 

[MsNastassja]

[ QUOTE ]
ayeshia said:
[ QUOTE ]
MsNastassja said:
Exactly Whit! Everyone's hair has advantages and disadvantages. Like people with stick straight hair might not have tangling problems, but it can never hold a curl. And then people with big hair full of volume (and maybe some frizz, too) might not ever be able to get it to lay down. But its all good, really. Don't be fake, be what God made you. Thats probably the main reason I decided not to go back. Why would I relax my hair? To try and be like white people or something? No offense, or anything. But does anyone see white people going out and trying to get fros? Like a kinky nappy fro? Not really. So why should anyone be going and trying to achieve this stick straight hair that their Maker didn't intend for them to get? Sorry for my rant... And if anyone who relaxes their hair reads this... remember... this is just my opinion. Ok?

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually the people in Japan pay to get there hair kinky like ours...weird but true

[/ QUOTE ]
Thats absolutely hilarious

! I guess its not just black people trying to change their hair texture to the exact opposite of what they were given. Do you have any pics of that

? And when I think of how funny that must look, I wonder how someone who's never seen a black person w/straight hair (relaxed) thinks they look. They must think it looks funny.

 

[chewy]

Plainly and simply, I got tired of relaxing. I've been natural since 2000 and every 7 years or so, I'll take a 1 or 2 year break from relaxing. Usually I'd cut my hair off to a TWA then relax after a year or 2 after I got tired of that. This is the first time I've had natural hair past my earlobes since childhood. It is now mid back length and about 4 inches from bra strap length.
I LOVE my natural hair now because after all the other times I've gone natural, I did not know how to properly care for it, now I do! It is sooo dense, moist, thick, springy, curly, coily and has so much elasticity it's scary!

My personal challenge is to see how long it will be and after I meet my goal, I don't believe I'll be relaxing again since I know what needs to be done to properly maintain and manage it.