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I think it depends on hair type and daily styling. I use lots of moisture and wear my hair in phony pony (when it's not braided). I've heard a lot of the ladies on the board say that low manipulation and good moisture are great when dealing with 2 textures. My hair usually starts breaking like CRAZY when it's time for a perm but I've found that these tactics work great.
I think a few ladies here swear by Silicon Mix. It's supposed to really tame new growth and make it soft. I bought some yesterday, but I haven't used it yet. It looks like this: http://ibeautyny.com/goods_detail.asp?goodsIdx=2339
I'm siding with Miel on this one. My hair is a mix of 3c/4a and I have no problem keeping my NG soft with daily moisture and deep conditioning 1x a week. When I get shedding and/or breaking issues I up my protien balance and I'm good to go!
What works for me is Panthenol - really keeps my hair soft overall.
When stretching my relaxers, I deep condition with ORS Hair Mayo and use Elucence MB or Giovanni Direct as a leave-in. I also do more cowashes when I get to about 10 weeks post relaxer. Coconut oil, elasta qp mango butter and good 'ole water really tame my NG also!