No one told me….

[HarlemHottie]

That I was going to run in to problems over my hair with my BF…. Well it has started, now let me say in his defense that he has always loved to run his hands in my hair… BUT back then I wasn’t even thinking about my Healthy Hair Care…
Well now that I am I swear I can hear strands of hair pop, snap and break off after the 3rd or 4th time he passes his hands through my hair… So last night after the 3rd time he passed his hand I “AJUSTED” my position and he caught on to it and was a little hurt….

I tried to explain to him my reasons for moving and that I didn’t mean anything by it but he knows I’m trying to grow my hair out and him raking his hands through it doesn’t help… I mean don’t get me wrong ladies I love that fact that he likes the way my hair smells all the time now, and he really likes the braid outs on me, but all the slicking in the world is not going to help me if he keeps this up….

p.s. Keep in mind I’ve only been at this a couple of weeks so I might be a little sensitive when it comes to trying to prevent ANY hair loss.

 

[TrendySocialite]

I know how you feel but if I may offer a bit of advice....

See if you can find a happy medium. I know some LHCFers will disagree, and that's cool. But maybe allow him to rub the top of your hair but to keep the running through your hair to a minimum.

It appears that for him this is a sign of intimacy and affection towards you. And you don't want to crush him by staring at him like "Boy bye" every time he approaches your hair....LOL

I doubt your hair is being damaged as much as you think. And remember your hair shed anyway, so it's not necessarily due to him playing in your hair.

One way you could indulge him and get something stimulating out of it for your hair is to teach him how to massage your scalp. Scalp massages stimulate the circulation and help growth and retention...

That way, he gets to play in your hair and you won't pass out thinking you're getting breakage.

 

[sheba1]

Awww, HarlemHottie, I'm so sorry the two of you have hit this bump. But you know what? After he gets over the initial shock, he should adjust just fine. I'm sure the two of you have weathered bigger hurdles and I'm certain the two of you will chuckle when you think back on it.

Have you considered bunning when you're home? Maybe it would help if you tucked all that lusciousness away to help him with the "hands off" transition.

 

[Kacie]

My BF is upset that I've turned into a half wig queen. Luckily, between the half wig, silk scarves and stretching, it is rare that he has the opportunity to run his fingers in my hair.

But if the man insists on touching you hair, what can you do? You don't want it to come off as "ewww don't touch me".

 

[HarlemHottie]

My BF is upset that I've turned into a half wig queen. Luckily, between the half wig, silk scarves and stretching, it is rare that he has the opportunity to run his fingers in my hair.

But if the man insists on touching you hair, what can you do? You don't want it to come off as "ewww don't touch me".

Girl He will even play in my Half wings... I get so nervous that's it's going to come off in his hands sometimes...

 

[HarlemHottie]

Awww, HarlemHottie, I'm so sorry the two of you have hit this bump. But you know what? After he gets over the initial shock, he should adjust just fine. I'm sure the two of you have weathered bigger hurdles and I'm certain the two of you will chuckle when you think back on it.

Have you considered bunning when you're home? Maybe it would help if you tucked all that lusciousness away to help him with the "hands off" transition.

Now the bun wouldn't be a bad Idea if he wasn't one of those men who takes those down... Before I started looking for ways to take better care of my hair I would put it up in a bun.... And as soon as I would lay down next to hime that would come out... And your right I'm sure this will be something we will laugh at later... Thanks

 

[HarlemHottie]

I know how you feel but if I may offer a bit of advice....

See if you can find a happy medium. I know some LHCFers will disagree, and that's cool. But maybe allow him to rub the top of your hair but to keep the running through your hair to a minimum.

It appears that for him this is a sign of intimacy and affection towards you. And you don't want to crush him by staring at him like "Boy bye" every time he approaches your hair....LOL

I doubt your hair is being damaged as much as you think. And remember your hair shed anyway, so it's not necessarily due to him playing in your hair.

One way you could indulge him and get something stimulating out of it for your hair is to teach him how to massage your scalp. Scalp massages stimulate the circulation and help growth and retention...

That way, he gets to play in your hair and you won't pass out thinking you're getting breakage.

You know what you're right.... He loves all the oils that I am using these days maybe I could have him stimulate my scalp and this way we both get what we need... Thanks

 

[TrendySocialite]

You know what you're right.... He loves all the oils that I am using these days maybe I could have him stimulate my scalp and this way we both get what we need... Thanks

You're welcome and this is a way you two can bond even more...something that only he does for you.

You may want to ease him into it and even "trick" him into a little by putting the oil in right before you two cuddle. Then when he starts playing in it, encourage him by saying stuff like "that feels good baby, massage my scalp too." Then snuggle a little closer...LOL

I mean if that jives with how you to operate in your relationship...

 

[DarkHair]

I am having the opposite. DH loves to run his fingers through my hair, and so do I. The one time he 'massaged' my scalp, he tangled my hair. I had to meticulously go through and untangle my hair. Maybe scalp massages for your hair are where its at. That way, he is helping you on your hair growth.

 

[HarlemHottie]

****UPDATE****

I have included him in my hair growth process... Since he loves the smell of my coconut oil he now Massages my scalp with it, and I LOVE IT!! (except for me dozing off from time to time it's working out great)... lol

Thank you ladies for your input on this topic.

 

[vnaps]

lol.....i thought you were going to say hates the oiliness from sealing the moisturiser......lol

if thats your only issue then i think you sholdnt have too much to worry about.....as mentioned before no point disappointing him over your hair.......i think the relationship should come first.....imo

 

[lashannasmall]

I know you guys will not agree with me on this either but your hair is on your head to enjoy. That is why I don't do all these crazy regiman's on here because its not that serious. What is the use of having long hair if you cannot even enjoy it?

Also, If your hair snaps just by having your man touch it, than there is something wrong with your hair. You should be able to do normal every day things and have healthy hair. No other culture for the most part acts this way about their hair. It is ridiculous that I don't know how to swim because I was worried about my hair as a child. We need to stop the maddness.

 

[Jazala]

I know you guys will not agree with me on this either but your hair is on your head to enjoy. That is why I don't do all these crazy regiman's on here because its not that serious. What is the use of having long hair if you cannot even enjoy it?

Also, If your hair snaps just by having your man touch it, than there is something wrong with your hair. You should be able to do normal every day things and have healthy hair. No other culture for the most part acts this way about their hair. It is ridiculous that I don't know how to swim because I was worried about my hair as a child. We need to stop the maddness.

I understand where you're coming from but most of us are here on this board because the "normal everyday things" kept us from getting past shoulder length. Some of us (me especially with double processed ends) have fragile strands and we try to keep the manipulation to a minimum for maximum retention.

Kinky hair by nature is way more fragile than straight hair and tends to be extremely dry (which further adds to the fragility). Add to that chemicals and heat and we are fighting an uphill battle to keep our hair on our heads.

There are ways to keep your hair protected while swimming. I remember seeing a thread about that topic a few months ago. Sadly we don't grow up learning a whole lot about the stuff that is regularly discussed on these boards.

 

[lollyoo]

I know how you feel but if I may offer a bit of advice....

See if you can find a happy medium. I know some LHCFers will disagree, and that's cool. But maybe allow him to rub the top of your hair but to keep the running through your hair to a minimum.

It appears that for him this is a sign of intimacy and affection towards you. And you don't want to crush him by staring at him like "Boy bye" every time he approaches your hair....LOL

I doubt your hair is being damaged as much as you think. And remember your hair shed anyway, so it's not necessarily due to him playing in your hair.
One way you could indulge him and get something stimulating out of it for your hair is to teach him how to massage your scalp. Scalp massages stimulate the circulation and help growth and retention...

That way, he gets to play in your hair and you won't pass out thinking you're getting breakage.

I have to agree, you are on point

 

[CurliDiva]

Lucky Girl!

I would oil up his hands and teach him how to give you a scalp massage that way he can feel "special" while helping with your regimen.

Maybe, have a .........."I'll rub yours, if you rub mine" evening....and see where it leads!