Question for those BSL or longer . . .

[Glib Gurl]

Although there are many of you here, I rarely see black women walking around with hair that long. (And I'm talking about real hair, not weave hair ) I am wondering, how do people view you and your hair? Are you seen as an oddity? Do people always think it's a weave? Do they beg you for hair secrets?

I know that nowadays, whenever I somebody with long, healthy hair, I all but STARE so I can get a good look.

Just wondering . . .

 

[dlewis]

They assume it not mine. I have been told that it's amazing that all that hair comes out of my bun. And to see the difference in it rollerset and straighten is drastic so I get some questions but I don't have alot of people asking for secrets nowdays.

 

[TLC1020]

I luv these BSL threads.. Keep em coming ladies
I believe it depends on where you are located, I know in ATL its not rare to see ladies with BSL or longer but where I live it is rare. There are some women here that are BSL but not that many and even less with longer than BSL, so when you do see a female with BSL or longer you're like wow her hair is really long...

 

[ChocoLatte]

I usually have my hair up and if it is down it is in a ponytail. No one asks for secrets or anything, but sometimes you see people do a doubletake, or you hear someone whisper to their friend.

 

[RZILYNT]

Many women where I live wear long weaves, but for my age I get odd stares and I really think it is because I have ALOT of premature gray. I am sure that they are saying...No she didn't with her "old self" get a weave that long. Many of my personal friends think it is an oddity since my hair has never grown this long.

I get more verbal compliments by my non-African American workmates. The few African American women in my office will stare, but won't say a word. I just say hi and smile.

When ever I see someone with long pretty hair, I guess I just stare too. If they are in my walking path then I will certainly comment/compliment them.

 

[Vshanell]

In my daily life nobody really pays my hair much mind. I get the occasional, "Your hair is long, or it looks nice".....but that's it. BSL or longer hair is definitely an oddity where I'm from but I never get asked for hair advice or anything like that. Truthfully I hardly ever come into contact with anyone who is even remotely interested in hair care. That's why I love this board, because I have people to talk to.

 

[dlewis]

Many women where I live wear long weaves, but for my age I get odd stares and I really think it is because I have ALOT of premature gray. I am sure that they are saying...No she didn't with her "old self" get a weave that long. Many of my personal friends think it is an oddity since my hair has never grown this long.

I get more verbal compliments by my non-African American workmates. The few African American women in my office will stare, but won't say a word. I just say hi and smile.

When ever I see someone with long pretty hair, I guess I just stare too. If they are in my walking path then I will certainly comment/compliment them.

I get that to.

 

[Vshanell]

Many women where I live wear long weaves, but for my age I get odd stares and I really think it is because I have ALOT of premature gray. I am sure that they are saying...No she didn't with her "old self" get a weave that long. Many of my personal friends think it is an oddity since my hair has never grown this long.

I get more verbal compliments by my non-African American workmates. The few African American women in my office will stare, but won't say a word. I just say hi and smile.

When ever I see someone with long pretty hair, I guess I just stare too. If they are in my walking path then I will certainly comment/compliment them.

I was gonna mention the same thing. So many white ladies have complemented my hair, even when I didn't think it looked so great but black women rarely do.

 

[Glib Gurl]

I get more verbal compliments by my non-African American workmates. The few African American women in my office will stare, but won't say a word. I just say hi and smile.

Wow. I can just feel the hateration they're sending your way. As for me, the reason I stare (but don't speak) is because these folks are strangers. But if one of my co-workers looks nice I am the first to tell them. (In fact I kind of had an embarassign situation the other day when I told a co-worker that her hair looked nice . . . and she was like, "Thanks. It's a wig." )

 

[ttlayli]

In SoCal where I'm from its really not out the norm to see women with long hair...whether it's weaves or natural. But sometimes I do get the stares or the dumb question "What are you mixed with?" And just like everyone else in this thread has stated, 90% of Black women do not have anything nice to say about my hair...it's always Black Men or women of other races. In fact just last week, this Black women in the store behind me (who was talking loud on purpose) was telling her friend "Her hair is not cute! She needs to comb that s***!" Mind you, I was wearing my hair natural (3c curls) and I KNOW my hair was cute that day! So I just turned around, glared for a second, then looked at her hair, smiled and shook my head. This broads hair was GREASY, DAMAGED and was covered by one of those thick rubberbands that hold newspapers together! erplexed She got the hint though...

 

[Vshanell]

In SoCal where I'm from its really not out the norm to see women with long hair...whether it's weaves or natural. But sometimes I do get the stares or the dumb question "What are you mixed with?" And just like everyone else in this thread has stated, 90% of Black women do not have anything nice to say about my hair...it's always Black Men or women of other races. In fact just last week, this Black women in the store behind me (who was talking loud on purpose) was telling her friend "Her hair is not cute! She needs to comb that s***!" Mind you, I was wearing my hair natural (3c curls) and I KNOW my hair was cute that day! So I just turned around, glared for a second, then looked at her hair, smiled and shook my head. This broads hair was GREASY, DAMAGED and was covered by one of those thick rubberbands that hold newspapers together! erplexed She got the hint though...

See.....that's the weird thing. Where I'm from black women don't seem to like any sort of natural style at all but white women or women of other races love them. I get the most complements from them when I wear natural styles and I'm always taken by surprise.

 

[*Frisky*]

I can so relate to getting compliments from women of other races and men rather than black women. When I see a black woman with nice hair I will compliment in a heartbeat...haha my white coworker did compliment me but in a round about way, she asked me if I was wearing weave.

 

[Glib Gurl]

In SoCal where I'm from its really not out the norm to see women with long hair...whether it's weaves or natural. But sometimes I do get the stares or the dumb question "What are you mixed with?" And just like everyone else in this thread has stated, 90% of Black women do not have anything nice to say about my hair...it's always Black Men or women of other races. In fact just last week, this Black women in the store behind me (who was talking loud on purpose) was telling her friend "Her hair is not cute! She needs to comb that s***!" Mind you, I was wearing my hair natural (3c curls) and I KNOW my hair was cute that day! So I just turned around, glared for a second, then looked at her hair, smiled and shook my head. This broads hair was GREASY, DAMAGED and was covered by one of those thick rubberbands that hold newspapers together! erplexed She got the hint though...

Now that is just altogether TRIFLIN! Wow.

 

[ttlayli]

See.....that's the weird thing. Where I'm from black women don't seem to like any sort of natural style at all but white women or women of other races love them. I get the most complements from them when I wear natural styles and I'm always taken by surprise.

Yeah that was my point!! LOL that's why she was talking about me Other races AND black MEN will compliment me (of course, IF my hair is looking nice lol) whether my hair is curly or straight...but the Black Women??? Sheesh!!! erplexed

Stories like these remind me of my older cousin (RIP) who was dark-skinned and had llllooooonnnnngggg hair....and all the other black girls wanted to fight her because 1) She was BEAUTIFUL... 2) They just didnt want to believe that a dark-skinned girl could have long hair... 3) They became ENRAGED when she confirmed that she didnt have a perm.

It's really sad how this stuff goes on within our community...

 

[ttlayli]

Now that is just altogether TRIFLIN! Wow.

And see, I noticed her hair from jump and I wasent being rude at all...but when she was being mean to me I couldnt help myself, u know?? Maybe if she was nice I would have told her about LHCF!

 

[Vshanell]

And see, I noticed her hair from jump and I wasent being rude at all...but when she was being mean to me I couldnt help myself, u know?? Maybe if she was nice I would have told her about LHCF!

Yeah, her comments were so un-called for. I only have one word for her and that is JEALOUS because your hair is georgeous.

 

[meaganita]

IMO, my hair couldn't look any less like a weave...But some people just see length, which equals weave to them. Every now and then people will comment on how long or pretty it is...ask me if I'm mixed or tell me I've got "good" hair. But most of the time it's just silent stares. No one IRL hardly ever asks me for hair advice...

 

[mzcris]

Although I am not at BSL yet...reading this thread has prepared me for what I might expect in the future! I plan on joining all the BSL ladies in Dec 2008...

 

[ttlayli]

Yeah, her comments were so un-called for. I only have one word for her and that is JEALOUS because your hair is georgeous.

Thanxs girl!!! But I'm tryna get where ur at!!! LOL I WANT UR LENGTH!!

 

[Evazhair]

I guess its a matter of where you are, mostly, because I see a lot of BSL+ women around here with their real hair. I am an expert weave spotter. As far as other females: Black women usually do some combination of staring/rolling eyes/screwface, etc., often women with a decent looking yet obvious long weave.White& other, sometimes smile or look as if they are trying to figure out if its real. When I went into a Spanish salon last weekend a lot of the Spanish/Mexican clients were looking at me as if they were trying to figure me out. It was funny to me. I never trip off that type of stuff.

 

[trini_rican]

before my chemical nightmare my hair was touching mbl. I would have black girls walk up and yank my hair, ask me where I bought my weave at, what kinda hur is that in yo head? I need to get me somma dat! So loud and rude. I would laugh most times but - at a business lunch with colleagues, I would be embarassed for them. And when you tell them you didn't buy it then it's like - girl I told you that was ha hur! Crazy, so that's my past experience. I just feel that It's rude and uncouth. If you like someones hair say it's pretty and keep it movin. All that extra non-sense is just that non-sense. I make it a habit to compliment others on there hair if it's nice. We spend too much time on our heads before leaving the house not to appreciate the beauty of someone elses when we see it. Sorry for the rant - good thread!

 

[Leslie_C]

In my daily life nobody really pays my hair much mind. I get the occasional, "Your hair is long, or it looks nice".....but that's it. BSL or longer hair is definitely an oddity where I'm from but I never get asked for hair advice or anything like that. Truthfully I hardly ever come into contact with anyone who is even remotely interested in hair care. That's why I love this board, because I have people to talk to.

Hope u dont take offense to this...but do u think it is because you are light skinned and some people assume u are probably "mixed" and have "good hair"? Ill bet people would break there neck to get a look at your hair if you had a darker complexion. You truly have a beautiful head of hair....and I would compliment you even if u were white

 

[glamazon386]

Hope u dont take offense to this...but do u think it is because you are light skinned and some people assume u are probably "mixed" and have "good hair"? Ill bet people would break there neck to get a look at your hair if you had a darker complexion. You truly have a beautiful head of hair....and I would compliment you even if u were white

That probably is the case. Some people are still brainwashed. The women in my moms family all pretty much have long hair. Most of them are in the type 2/3 range and are lighter skinned but people just assume that's why their hair is long and never ask about it. But my one cousin and aunt (who are both my complexion) get the broken neck thing all the time because people don't expect to see that kind of hair on dark skinned people.

 

[Leslie_C]

That probably is the case. Some people are still brainwashed. The women in my moms family all pretty much have long hair. Most of them are in the type 2/3 range and are lighter skinned but people just assume that's why their hair is long and never ask about it. But my one cousin and aunt (who are both my complexion) get the broken neck thing all the time because people don't expect to see that kind of hair on dark skinned people.

I know what u mean though...my sister and I are literally the black sheep in the family because our female cousins are the lighter skinned ones with "good hair".... Im from the backwoods in TN though...there was a girl I went to high school with who was dark skinned and had hair that was thick and a little past her shoulders/close to armpit and people always went on and on about her hair. Where Im from if a black girl has hair past her shoulders its "long".

 

[Eiano]

Well pokahontas and ttlayli, if you lived in Delaware, you'd be hearing it all day from me. I'd be

 

[mango387]

In my daily life nobody really pays my hair much mind. I get the occasional, "Your hair is long, or it looks nice".....but that's it. BSL or longer hair is definitely an oddity where I'm from but I never get asked for hair advice or anything like that. Truthfully I hardly ever come into contact with anyone who is even remotely interested in hair care. That's why I love this board, because I have people to talk to.

I think some (key: not a lot or all) people are interested, but they don't want to come off as strange. For example, if I had not seen my relative w/ Aveda products I would not have known that she gets the same joy taking care of her hair as I do. I would just assume that she just kept her hair on point like a lot of women who are not necessarily into haircare...I hope what I'm saying makes sense.

Another thing, I, as a black women, am hesitant to compliment people w/ long, healthy hair, because A) sometimes it really was a great weave or B) some people have had long hair all of their lives and thus seem a little jaded when you compliment them...

ETA: This is from IRL experiences not LHCF. I must say that the BSL or longer ladies here are some of the most humble individuals I have encountered.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

Sometime I see women with beautiful hair that I can just tell is real and I will stare and try to sneak a peek when they arent looking.

I would like to compliment them, but that are usually looking at me as if to say "What dis trick lookin at?". So I just keep it moving.

 

[Isis]

It does depend where you live but there have been similarities in my experience when traveling to different parts of this country. Perhaps because my hair is "textured", people (including my own family ) are not sure if it's a weave or not and feel the need to get a closer look, sometimes a little too close.

While complimenting me, I get questions from strangers (especially black and Asian men) like,

"What country are you from?"

I tell them I'm from the U.S. and they just look at me like I'm lying or holding something back. They seem to be waiting for an explanation of some kind.

Some black women in different parts of the country (NOT my family this time ) immediately respond after asking where I'm from with,

"Oh, you must be mixed." "Must be some Indian in you."

So far, it's been interesting. As we grow our hair longer, we set standards for what can be.

 

[silverlotus]

Nope, I don't get comments on my hair one way or the other. The most that's happened is that someone told me last week I look "exotic" and like I have "European ancestry." It could've been my hair cuz I dont think I look exotic at all, but she was looking me dead in the face so I dunno. To be fair, I don't pay much attention to women in the street so maybe they are looking and I don't notice .

I do get a lot of attention from guys when it's down though .

 

[chicacanella]

I know what u mean though...my sister and I are literally the black sheep in the family because our female cousins are the lighter skinned ones with "good hair".... Im from the backwoods in TN though...there was a girl I went to high school with who was dark skinned and had hair that was thick and a little past her shoulders/close to armpit and people always went on and on about her hair. Where Im from if a black girl has hair past her shoulders its "long".

That is how it is where I live too. And sometimes, the person's hair they will compliment isn't even healthy, just long.