Quitting the relaxer.

[Bella]

Hey everyone, I was just wondering..Please don't bite my head off for saying this, but....

perhaps if people stopped relaxing their hair, then they wouldn't have all these problems such as bald spots, thinning, split ends etc.
That's why it's so difficult to grow the relaxed hair long because it leaves the hair so brittle and weak.
Since hair is dead, it cannot be repaired.

The only way to repair the damage is to cut it off. If more people realized this, then they would save so much money.

 

[Crysdon]

Hi Bella,

I've been natural for 3 years prior to getting my hair texturized (light relaxer) in October 2002 and I can vouch that not getting relaxers will not solve the problems you mentioned. I still got split ends, short spots and dry hair.

I am very happy that I did this. Being natural takes just as much hard work and effort as being relaxed. In both cases you have to know how to take care of your hair <font color="red"> properly </font color> and be gentle as possible. I actually spend considerably less time now than when my hair was natural and I'm seeing great results too.

 

[pebbles]

Hi Bella, /images/graemlins/smile.gif

You are absolutely right that relaxers dry the hair and make it brittle. But I really think that proper care is key. You can have damaged hair even without a relaxer, and split ends, bald spots, and thinning hair are found on every type of head.

I did a lot of reading and research about hair and relaxers and learned that there is a way to care for relaxed hair and have it grow. There are a lot of relaxed heads on this board that can attest to the fact that with proper care, relaxed hair can grow long. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Bella]

Texturizing is not natural. It's still similar to relaxing. Any chemical treatment will dry the hair out and cause split ends, breakage and the rest.

 

[free2bme]

Hi

I have to agree with Cysdon. I had natural 4b hair until May last year. The longer it got the more difficult it ws too maintain and style doing my hair was an ordeal!! And I still had problems of dryness and split ends.

I will be the first to admit that chemically altering your hair has the potential on introducing you to a whole new set of hair issues such as breakage, scalp&amp; follicle damage from burns etc. However with proper hair care and maintenace tehniques you can avoid or arrest problems.

In the past I used to blame all my hair woes on relaxers, not on improper application, heat &amp; styling abuse etc b/c I didn't know better. In the past year and half I learned so much about hair that I have gone from a twa to shoulder length hair (with a few setbacks of course). I know things will only get better b/c I have so much more to learn!!

 

[Kitkat]

Bella, I don't think Crysdon was saying that texturizing is natural. She said that she was natural prior to getting a texturizer. While it's true that relaxing can lead to dryness, split ends and breakage, those of us who choose to relax take steps to combat and minimize these problems. Improper care of natural hair can also cause problems like the ones you described. Regardless of what we choose, we're all here to share ways to combat and minimize issues endemic to natural or relaxed black hair, primarily dryness and breakage. And as someone mentioned above, care is definitely key. The beauty of our hair is that we have the option to go natural or to relax with lots of styling options for either method. And isn't choice what it's all about? /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[sassygirl125]

I have to respectfully disagree. Relaxers aren't for everyone and natural hair isn't for everyone. People should wear their hair in a way that results in healthy hair, is easy for them to maintain and compliments their overall features. I know too many women with healthy relaxed hair to say relaxers will always cause bald spots, damage, etc.
However people that continue to chemically alter their hair when it is damaged or breaking are going to end up with the problems you described.

 

[Guest]

Not getting a relaxer will not end hair woes. And in my opinion, it is NOT hard to grow hair that is relaxed. It must have more care, but it isn't hard.

I know people who have natural hair to have bald spots (my grandmther did), split ends (I did before I got my first perm), etc. If that is the case, why did I have to get a trim to get rid of the split ends on the day I got my first perm ever. Permed, natural, regardless, hair must be taken care of to see growth.

Everyone just has to find out what their hair likes. It can be a matter of time, trial and error, but when your hair likes a product, it will let you know.

 

[NubianAngel]

Okay, yall don't hate me for saying this either.

I really don't believe that everyone's hair is capable of growing long with relaxers. I just dont. My hair is so weak when its chemically straightened, even when I condition in the shower and take care of it. I just chose to accept it, and make the decision of whether or not it was worth continuing to try.

Everyone's hair is not like mine. My hair took alot of energy to get it straight, even when I got a relaxer on virgin hair at age 15. My ends for always frizzy. Do some of you know what i mean? Some peoples hair takes more to be straight than others.

I respect ladies on this site who are taking great care of their hair and have beautiful results. Ive seen pictures of some lovely hair. I just wish that more ladies realize that what works for one won't necessarily work for you. Just as a poster mentioned that going natural doesnt mean no damage. Its true. Especially if you go natural and try and get your hair to do certain things constanntly like press straight, maintain a perpetual twistout. Doing alot of styling to your hair may damage it, relaxed or natural.

My point is that all the conditioning in the world won't make some people have strong, long, thick relaxed hair. I am one of those people. I just wish people would take more time and challenge preconceived notions, such as "if my hair is damaged, there is a miracle treatment out there that will erase the damage so I don't have to trim." The only way my sis could ever get her long hair back is with years of constant trimming and "in between" lengths. Now that her hair is long, she still has damage and scabs though /images/graemlins/frown.gif

For the record, my hair actually gained good length while texturized. I just chose to let it grow out.

I'll stop rambling now. /images/graemlins/grin.gif Hopefully at least one person understands what im saying.

 

[Ennyaa]

I definitely understand what you're saying and I don't think you're rambling at all. /images/graemlins/smile.gif But I don't think the ladies here were trying to say that relaxing is for everyone. I think they were saying just the opposite. Being natural is not for everyone. In fact NOTHING is for everyone. Everyone has to do what's best for them to achieve health or length where their hair is concerned. And if being natural works best for you then that's it and that's what you should do. For me, because I didn't know how to care for it, it led to dry breaking and splitting hair that was just a mess.

Everyone has their own methods and theories but I think it's a mistake for anyone to say if you don't do it their way you're wrong. (Hence my opinion of the Hot Comb Mafia *tee hee*)

So I think the moral of this story is whether being relaxed, natural or texturized is your preference the key is being able to care for your hair properly.

 

[BrightEyes]

I will admit I roll my eyes at people who put toxins in their hair and then complain about hair problems. Yes, we can speak of taking good care of your hair and being knowledgeable. But the fact that relaxers contain the same chemicals as Nair and Drano still remains. Using said chemicals seriously increases your chances of severe damage to your scalp. If you read into the warnings on the box, they basically tell you that. I don't think being natural will solve all problems, but I do think avoiding them cuts down on the chances. I get annoyed when folks complain when the chemicals cause them to go bald or affects hair growth. They made the decision to use harsh chemicals and have to live with it. Just like I don't like folks who stop relaxing and then expect sympathy because they don't like their natural texture. If you weren't really for the results, whatever they may be, then you shouldn't have done it.

As a general comment: I will admit that I think Blacks should stop adoring long super-straight, silky, hair. Just like I think Whites should stop worshiping Barbie-type women and Asians should stop having that stupid eye surgery. I'm all for looking nice, but I think ridding yourself of any ethnic trait is crossing the line. Obviously some people are willing to cross those boundaries. To each her own.

I also think saying that your own hair is too hard to take care of it a total cop-out. If Africans did it for thousands of years with the most primitive tools, then we can do it in the year 2003. If you just like the way straight hair looks, fine. But don't make your natural texture out to be some untamable, monstrous, unmanageable mess.

Bella, I will say this to you since I'm ASSuming that your natural:

You ought to know that strange history that follows women of color. You ought to know that it takes courage to wear your natural hair in this country. Black women do not think logically when it comes to their hair. That's why so many of them are loosing their locks, or don't have any at all. The women on this forum, or any forum on the net are not representative of the average Black women. Relaxed or natural, we all have taken the time and initiative to become truly informed about our hair. I'm sure most of the ladies here have seen all the information about relaxers. If they wish to continue, so be it.

When I first went natural and started reading up on hair, I was shocked that some people could continue to chemically process. But after a while I really stopped caring. I just started to feel lucky that I didn't have the need, want, urge, or pressure to strive for something that God obviously didn't mean for me to have. That has saved me a lot of trouble, time, and pain. But I cannot ever expect or even hope for people to see things the way I do. And neither can you, Bella.

 

[sweetcocoa]

I think it's your hair....and only you know what you are comfortable with. Personally my hair has thrived since I stopped relaxing. A few times I felt like relaxing and changed my mind. I'm glad I did. I just had to find the right products to do my hair. I also had to realize that my hair did not look good doing the 'shake and go'. Once I accepted my hair was not gonna 'fluff' up ...but instead 'spiral down'...(accepted the fact the the 'top' will always be flat /images/graemlins/smirk.gif ) I was able to enjoy my natural hair. But I admire any head of beautiful hair...wether it is relaxed or not. It's all in what works for you. I will say though, that if your hair is breaking and shedding and nothing you do seems to be working...stop relaxing(give it a rest for 6 months or a year). Then if you want to try relaxing again empowered with the knowledge you find here.

 

[SVT]

*keeping a close eye on this thread*

 

[Moone]

Well I might be in the minority here, but when I quit relaxing ALL of my hair problems ceased. No split ends, no dryness ( especially when I started with no poo ) no thinning....I was one of those people who thought that I could grow my hair long with the relaxer, and for a while I achieved quit a bit of sucesss. I was a regular over on Longhairlovers.com before it became a paysite. I did it for two years and I had mid-back length hair. It was strong and looked healthy. Then one day boom! everything started thinning at once- the sides, the ends. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I did wrong. I didn't use blowdriers or curling irons or SLS shampoos. I wore protective styles, but all the bending just made it worse and wearing it down made it dry. That's when it dawned on me that how could I possibly be dedicated to having long hair when I was shaving years off my hair's life span by chemically straightning it. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the look of relaxed hair, but I didn't enjoy the limited length it gave me in reaching my goal. IMHO mid-back to bra strap is a bout as long as relaxed hair will get before it begins to break off and thin and I wanted waist length hair!
I have only seen a very few people with really long relaxed hair ( to their waist ), and I figure I'm not in that catagory and most black women aren't in that catagory either else you would see tons of black women with long relaxed hair. So anyhoo, I realize a lot of women would love to have mid-back to bra strap relaxed hair, but that wasn't long enough for me.

Happy hair growing!

 

[Dionne]

Come on everyone, do we really have to bite each others heads off with these topics. By now we should all know that it is a personal choice and that it depends on the person. Natural hair isn't the answer for everyone and neither is relaxed hair. My sister is natural now and she can't keep length to save her life but my other sister Sabrina has relaxed hair that is growing strong. It all depends on the time and effort you are willing to put in. I personally like relaxed hair. I am not ashamed of who I am by no means and I don't think it makes me less black or less proud about my race and culture because I have relaxed hair. You can have the same problems with relaxed hair as you can with natural hair. Lets stop focusing on an issue that is clearly a personal choice and get back into talking hair care.

 

[keylargo]

I personally think that we can sometimes put too much emphasis on a hairstyle. My hairstyle does not represent the woman that I am inside. Don't judge a book by its cover. Hair is just hair. We can cut it, weave it, color it, straighten it, etc. If one thing doesn't work, then we can try something else. It's nice to be free to do so. We should not be judged by a hairstyle. I can't imagine wearing my hair natural, but 10 years from now I might.

 

[legs71]

Wow, I never knew being natural vs. permed hair could be such a controversial issue. As many posts have indicated before it's all a matter of what works for you. I, personally experienced not so good results after years of relaxing, but in all honestly I was partially to blame for not caring for my hair properly. African-American hair in the 1st place is very delicate and chemical processing breaks down the bonds in the hair making it very suseptible to breakage. Places like this hair board educate us on how to properly care for relaxed hair. Years ago, proper information on how to care for African-American hair was not available so most of us had to play it by ear. Unfortunately many of us favored styles over the health of our hair(remember the french roll with all that teasing, hairspray, and gel...yuck!!!)About 15 months ago I finally became completely natural by accident. My intent was to grow out my damaged hair, cut it off and relax again. Instead when I cut the last of the relaxer out in October I never relaxed again. When I reach my goal of midback most likely I will probably relax again, but this time I will be well educated on the proper care of relaxed hair thanks to this hair board. I love you guys!!!

 

[SVT]

I think enough has been said about this often debated topic.

*locking it up and throwing away the key*