Recovering from a Setback Support Thread

[tdwillis]

I'm sure the day went well tdwillis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have interviews two days in a row and I don't own a brush I am tempted to flat iron but I really really really don't want to put any heat on my hair. Then again, I don't want to get up tomorrow and start panicking when I discover a basic bun is giving me trouble.

Thank you so much Nayeli. The day did go well. I actually figured out a secret for my natural hair. I can wear the two strand twist well if I pin it up and kind of make it like a french twist. I pull out a couple of curls in the front and they look like ringlets. I feel good and no heat. yay! It's funny because I walk around thinking is someone going to ask me if I am wearing my hair naturally? But, I live in a mostly white area and across the six classes that I teach, there is only one black student. So I would venture to say that they could care less. I hope your interviews went well too!

This thread is sOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO needed and im feeling so inspired by reading all these stories.

I realize ladies that our problem is that we get bored and want a change. Or sometimes we feel like we cant cope with our hair at that particular point because there's a hurdle of some sort. You know that usually, if we didn't mess with it there would be a great benefit after. You know that when things seem the hardest is when ur about to hit ur breakthrough??

I think we just have to remain focused and keep our eyes on the prize. Just remain diligent and eventually we will get to our goal. Just continue to baby our hair and it will grow.

Im not just talkin to you guys i'm talking to myself as well

Stay strong!

Thanks pringe! I agree with you. I thought (and really raised to believe) that I could not work with my natural texture. It always had to be straightened. So my mom pressed my hair every week. I grew up thinking that is what I had to do. It is so nice to know that I don't have to use heat and I can be just fine. I plan to baby it and hopefully it will be fine.

 

[tdwillis]

I have a question. If we consider our hair to be damaged, should we deep condition more than once a week? I ask because I am natural and have a very fine texture. Sometimes too much manipulation will lead to more breakage than I prefer. What should I do?

 

[hopeful]

I have a question. If we consider our hair to be damaged, should we deep condition more than once a week? I ask because I am natural and have a very fine texture. Sometimes too much manipulation will lead to more breakage than I prefer. What should I do?

If your hair breaks with too much manipulation then don't do it! I think a once a week deep condition is enough, during the week be very very gentle with your hair and keep it moisturized. You just have to be patient and wait for your hair to recover from the damage or slowly trim away the damage. My hair does not like to be manipulated very much either and hates frequent co-washes, etc. It thrives best when I leave it alone and keep it moist.

 

[Aggie]

I have a question. If we consider our hair to be damaged, should we deep condition more than once a week? I ask because I am natural and have a very fine texture. Sometimes too much manipulation will lead to more breakage than I prefer. What should I do?

My hair is fine too and I would recommend deep conditioning once a week but additionally, perhaps you could try washing and DCing your hair with it braided up. That is what I do and since starting to wash and DC this way, I lose wayyy less hair. I detangle and braid up my hair in 4-6 big braids before washing. I even DC this way now.

The only wash days it's not braided up are on days when I use henna and indigo on my hair. I really need to indigo my hair right about now too.

 

[4mia]

well ladies I started bee mine last night.im experimenting with some moisturizers its going really well. i want to get some alter ego garlic condish but its soo expensive, in the meantime ill keep using aphogee 2 min everyweek.
also im loving my ez combs for protective styles

 

[Highly Favored8]

Nice Thread!


Set back- Split ends- Went from APL-SL then APL-NL

Plan of action- Seeing what my hair likes and dislikes.

Estimated time of recovery 6 months-1 year. From NL-full, thick, healthy APL!

 

[Nayeli]

More ladies on board, wooo-hoooo!

I succumbed to the flat iron you guys. Good news is I got so many compliments on my hair today - probably because I almost never wear it down. Wash and go's from here on out for a while. As far as the interview......I was the only one in the room with any energy it seems - hope tomorrow's is better.

4mia - I love love love the aphogee 2 min. By far the best protein for my hair!

 

[Aggie]

well ladies I started bee mine last night.im experimenting with some moisturizers its going really well. i want to get some alter ego garlic condish but its soo expensive, in the meantime ill keep using aphogee 2 min everyweek.
also im loving my ez combs for protective styles

you know 4mia, I learned from the coffee thread that the caffiene in it and tea curbs shedding as well. Just leave it on the scalp for about 20-30 minutes after pouring it on a couple of times a week and it should work.

 

[Ozma]

Setback: Too much moisturizing, oiling and cowashing; wearing hair out too much

Effects: Mushy, stretching breaking hair

Plan of action: Trading moisturizing cowashes for light protein cowashes; less frequent cowashes; only moisturizing and sealing on days when it's needed instead of every day; bunning and minimum manipulation between washes; henna and DC every other week, alternating with medium protein treatment

Estimated date of full recovery: Hopefully, 1-2 months, so November 1 at the latest

 

[Nayeli]

I'm in one of those moods again where I just want to take it all off. I'm still stretching - everytime I look at my ends I go ballistic all over again. Plus the breakage has left me with slightly shorter pieces poking out when I pull may hair back Hoping this BT works.

 

[tdwillis]

I hear ya with the ends. This weekend, I straightened my hair because I knew I needed a trim. Once I straightened it, my ends looked like a bird just chewed on them and left it. I was so mad!. I Hadn't used heat in weeks, and my hair looked worse. I ended up trimming a lot because of it. I am not sure if my hair likes being completely natural. I am at a loss for what to do.

 

[Nayeli]

tdwillis, what method do you use to trim your hair? When I pass my hands through the ends it's shed-mania. I thought my shedding was easing up but now I'm not even sure. Every thought has gone through my mind over the last two days - texlaxing, transitioning (I was the ride or die bone-laxer), and getting a short do.

 

[Khaiya]

^^I know the feeling, that's why i did a trim a week or two ago cause my ends just looked terrible. I know i probably should have waited till i straightened or something but i couldn't take it, some of it had to go. I'm still gonna have to cut some more whenever i do get a relaxer. I feel you on the shorter pieces that just stick out all over, especially if its windy!! I've thought about using gel to help tame it but i hate gel.....i guess i just haven't found the right kind yet though.

 

[Nayeli]

I'm really really considering a shorter cut - maybe more layers (I loved when I had layers), color. Perhaps this is a good time for a change, since I've been considering a cut for a while. Meh.............I'm all over the place.

 

[Khaiya]

I'm gonna get a blunt-ish cut end of December.

 

[Bun Mistress]

joining, just did the unthinkabout and tried to comb out my hair, breakage everywhere. I was trying to retain my hair (all of it) as long as possible (going to a 2 year transition) which probably won't be happening now. May cut off all my hair and braid up my hair if it looks terrible.

 

[tdwillis]

tdwillis, what method do you use to trim your hair? When I pass my hands through the ends it's shed-mania. I thought my shedding was easing up but now I'm not even sure. Every thought has gone through my mind over the last two days - texlaxing, transitioning (I was the ride or die bone-laxer), and getting a short do.

Well my mom really did my trim. She is not a professional, but if there is anyone on this earth that does not want me to those a strand of hair, it's her. For me, I could feel that my hair was smooth but as I contined down the hair shaft, my ends were crunchy. I just wanted those crunchy ends off. She very lightly dusted and I took off a little more. It is very apparent to me that split ends will damage the rest of the hair shaft. My hair always grows to a certain length, then splits like crazy. I just want to get it to APL and I am a good 3-4 inches away. So now that those ends are cut off, I am going to focus on healty hair to get it to grow.

 

[CurliDiva]

This is a GREAT thread!

We tend not to hear about the "afterward" of all of the products and bandwagons on LHCF.....thanks for sharing!

Good luck ladies and keep the faith!

 

[Nayeli]

How's everyone doing?

I bought a pair of hair scissors and did the slightest slightest dust. It made a world of difference.

Still trying stretching but ng is not as soft as I would like. I've calmed down with the paranoia and don't want to cut it all off lol. I blow-dried a few weeks back and the length looked ok - fairly certain I'll be BSL by December.

 

[silenttullip]

Setback: Stress and not properly detangling, and scalp issue unattended to

Effects: Totally thinned out my hair was so thick when I first went natural now I have some hair fall and constant breakage and knots even a few spots with little hair but nothing noticeable to others unless you were to touch it

Plan of action: probably end my relationship that's had a lot to do with it, find a good conditioner without protein I already have a good one with it, go to the trichologist that I made an appointment with and stick to my regimen and start meditating again to get myself calm and confident

Estimated date of full recovery: March 11th By my bday of next year I hope to have full recovery no hair fall, little to no stress, and a great relationship with my regimen and myself

 

[Nayeli]

Welcome aboard lala!

 

[locabouthair]

My damaged parts are growing back. I'm so impatient though. Im still wearing a wig because I had to cut my hair due to the damage. I see all the girls with thick healthy long hair and I get jealous.

 

[mstar]

I recovered from my setback. I cut off a little over 4 inches, so most of the damage is gone. It hurt, because I was less than an inch from APL in the back, but I'd rather have healthy SL hair than ugly, damaged APL hair. I still have a few straight-ish ends in a few sections.

I've also corrected the porosity problem with ACV, and that took care of the excessive dryness. I bought a steamer, and my hair generally seems very happy now.

Now I have to focus on growing back the 4 inches...that will take a while, but I'm stepping up my diet and exercise regimen, so hopefully I can get the length back by February-March 2010.

 

[Nayeli]

Well done mstar! The length will come back in no time.

 

[SelfStyled]

Some of my ends feel better, the middle back is still wilding out though. Mstar that was courageous of you to lop off 4 inches like that. I probably should just go ahead and do that myself but I am way to chicken. I will just grow a little and cut a little.

Nayeli, I am glad that your dusting made your hair feel better.

Now that it is getting cold- I am back to just half wiggin' it.

 

[Amerie123]

I really hate that I can post here, but here goes:

Setback:Stupid stylist used too much heat in my hair causing heat damage. When I told him he didn't need all of that, he told me "you'll be alright" like i was the one overreacting. PPL, this was my fault.. I should have gotten up!!!

Effects:First time since my HHJ that I'm experience a lot of little broken hairs. Usually I find only 5% broken hairs when I'm manipulating, but now.. its more like 40% little broken hairs-more than I'd like to see at any given time.

Plan of action: Almost NO manipulation at all. Keep my hair cornrowed for 3 months (till December) underneath my wig. Wash every two weeks and DC while in the same braid. Protein treatment prior to braiding. Upon taking out braid, I will reasses my hair and determine what need trimming, and trim.

Estimated date of full recovery: Dec 09- Jan 10

 

[asiajohn16]

Setback: Permanent hair dye, excessive heat styling due, overprocessing my hair with a relaxer.

Effects: Broken, thinner, dry dull hair

Plan of action: My hair was exactly how I wanted it in July 2008 (the picture that you see) but I couldn't leave well enough alone and I decided to relax it and put a BKT in it afterward. That proved all too much for my hair (with the constant heat straining my strands) and it began to break and shed badly esp. around the edges. I then decided to cut all of the damage off. I now wear a weave for growth and to retain what I have. I have not straightened my hair since I started wearing weaves a year ago (September 2008).

I wash 1-2 times a week, make sure I have the proper protein/moisture balance.

I use Alter Ego Cren for my edges.

I have been using supplements- biotin, chlorella, spirulina, garlic, stinging nettles and MSM.


Estimated date of full recovery: October 2009- I plan on straightening my hair next month and I am looking forward to the results. My goal is to be SL, hopefully I am there.

 

[Nayeli]

Thanks for joining us guys. Selfstyled, I'm glad you're seeing progress with your ends!

 

[Khaiya]

I'm doing well so far, i'm still shedding some but i dont know, maybe its the time of year. My manipulation is REAL low though cause i'm 12+ weeks post so i just leave my hair alone so i cant properly assess the shedding. It is less than when i just started this challenge though so i'm holding on. I am going to do a proper cut at the end of December though, i hate how uneven my ends look.

 

[mstar]

Some of my ends feel better, the middle back is still wilding out though. Mstar that was courageous of you to lop off 4 inches like that. I probably should just go ahead and do that myself but I am way to chicken. I will just grow a little and cut a little.

Thanks girl. I really didn't feel like I had a choice...my goal is to grow long hair, and I know I can't do that while hanging on to dried up, raggedy ends. By getting rid of it all at once, I gave my hair a fresh start, and I should be able to retain ALL of my growth from now on.

Amazing's post above reminded me that I actually had another setback at the salon. As soon as the stylist chopped off the damage, she pressed and flatironed my hair. Well, she was overzealous with the pressing comb...she went over some sections way too many times, and I actually had to tell her to stop. When I washed out the press, a section near my front hairline is bone straight AT THE ROOT! I've seen many people with heat damaged ends, but I've never seen any root damage from pressing.

So I have a stick-straight piece right in the front. I'm not going to worry about it too much...I will curl it up with perm rods when I wear my natural hair out. But guess what? No more stylists for me. I will learn how to flat iron my own hair. I can't trust anyone anymore.