Relaxing a 3year old's hair!!!!

[Honi]

Re: Relaxing a 3year old\'s hair!!!!

Now this is crazy. I wonder if she burned that baby’s head. That skin is tender and I hate to imagine her screaming while she’s trying to get it as straight as possible. I still don’t think it’s safe though. Not talking about the actual application but possible absorption into her system.

 

[cybra]

Re: Relaxing a 3year old\'s hair!!!!

ms_k, thank you for that info. I'm not chemist and would have loved to have had that info before hand. After reading that, I probably would have kept their hair in braids, let them complain, and once they hit 12, then talk to them about doing their hair. I never knew that stuff. I guess God knew he was dealing with me and felt my girls shouldn't suffer

Well, at least you've provided that info for other moms. Now, they are a little more informed and can take that into account when debating whether to "relax or not relax?"

 

[Karonica]

Re: Relaxing a 3year old\'s hair!!!!

I got my first perm at 10, and that's because I kept bugging my mom. And to this day, I still don't think 10 is too young to start relaxing. And I always went to a salon for my perms anyway, so it was done professionally. No worries.

3 on the other hand....

If you can't spell perm, you don't need one.

 

[clover]

Re: Relaxing a 3year old\'s hair!!!!

I'm a mother of a 7 year old daughter. I won't even bother listing her hair type cause it really doesn't matter to me. Let's just say she has some thick stuff. Yes my daughter screams sometimes when I comb her hair. When she does I apologize, soothe her, calm her down, then proceed to doing her hair. There's a patch right smack in the middle of her head that has the tightest texture. I pay extra attention to this spot, adding more conditioner, wetting it down, combing in very small sections. There's no way around it; combing dry hair will cause problems. So I always comb when wet.

I'll set aside time so I won't be rushed. My daugher always knows way in advance what day I will be doing her hair. I will either put on her favorite video or tv show, a favorite book, or a coloring book with crayons and markers (some snacks won't hurt either, she loves fruit roll-ups). Anything to distract her from causing a hissy fit. I'm always mixing up concoctions for our hair. I squirt some liquid leave in into a spray bottle, add some Nexxus Humectress, some drops of sweet almond oil, a few squirts of FOTE aloe vera, a shower comb and it's off to the races. I section her hair off with duck bill clips, and proceed to braiding. If the hair becomes dry by the time I get to it, I will wet that sucker down some more. There's never a shouting match in our house when I'm doing her hair.

When I'm done she's all smiles, primping in the mirror, shaking her head from side to side. I get hugs and kisses as a reward. Yes it takes time, love and LOTS of PATIENCE. Did I mention love? But once it's done, standing before me is a beautiful confident child who knows she's different from her white classmates with straight hair.

Realistically there will come a time when my daughter balks at wearing braids to school. I know once she hits 5th grade things will change. We will find other alternatives for styling but I will not resort to using chemicals in her hair. No child NEEDS a relaxer! Even if left on for a nano-second, that stuff will cause burns. Why risk it? But such is life, you do you and I'll do me.

Peace!

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

Re: Relaxing a 3year old\'s hair!!!!

DSD,

I have a daughter. She's 4. And yes, she screams bloody murder. Still does when I don't take the time out. Fortunately for me and her, I found the hair care boards. Actually, the first site I found was growafrohairlong. That site taught me that I was the problem, not my daughter's hair. (Washing hair all over the head, not detangling with my fingers first, detangling in large rather than small sections). And like I said before, her hair does not get combed every day. It is moisturized with water or a cream moisturizer every day, but not necessarily in the morning. In the morning, I take out her ponytail holder (ouchless with no metal clasps or balls) and smooth her hair with a wet brush into her poof and apply some essential oils to it for shine. That's it. No combing whatsover. She looks good; her hair is smooth and in place and she's thankful that I didn't comb through her hair. Her hair can only be combed if it is deeply moisturized to an almost wet condition or right after I've washed it. I think our problem is that we try to comb natural hair dry and it will not only hurt, but it will break.

On the flip side, my husband combed my stepdaughter's natural hair for years and I saw her crying and generally in all around pain. She happened to be tenderheaded and the slightest touch of her scalp sent her over the edge. At that time, I could see that she would be better off if she had a perm and he did allow her to get one but she was at least 12. But if I knew then what I know now, I would have taught him and her. Her hair was silky and shiny, but it was just sooooo thick. Now, I tell her how to take care of her relaxed hair, but she still has the mentality that she "needs" a perm and her HAIR most certainly didn't need a "perm" but SHE did.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

Re: Relaxing a 3year old\'s hair!!!!

That's a great story GMMP. I am glad that you found a solution to your daughter's hair without relaxing. My daughters hair is very fine and easy to comb and she is not tenderheaded. I was having problems with extreme dryness and breakage. At the time I only knew how to take care of relaxed hair so therefore after much consideration, I decided to take the plung. I did consult with her first and she seemed so excited when we discussed relaxing. Had I known what I know now I probably would never had considered relaxing her hair. I will just teach her how to maintain her relaxed hair. I won't let her touch it until she's 15!

 

[sillygurl18]

Re: Relaxing a 3year old\'s hair!!!!

I just have this to say:
"Good hair" is healthy hair. That's what we should be teaching our children. We should also support our shildren whether they want to use relaxers or keep their hair natural. I do think though, with some exceptions, that we should let our children make the choice. In the mean time I think that the child's hair should be natural so that they have some type of basis to compare, when and if the make the choice to relax. Also I think that we should support our children saying that it doesn't make them any less black if they relax, and that they can still be proud of who they are and their heritage while having a relaxer.