Seriously considering perming my hair!

[tdillz]

Hi everyone! I've been natural for about 2.5 years and I'm actually considering perming my hair at this point! In so frustrated because my hair isn't the length it should be at 2.5 years and it's frustrating! Some days I wanna just cut it and start again, other days I like my hair and other days I feel like I've reached terminal length.
I try to switch up and get wigs so I can hve longhair but part of me misses my weaves and sew ins. I've embraced the natural experience and encourage anyone that hasn't tried to to try it but at this point in my life I'm starting not to care and I want and need a change! I feel like my Fro is too small to fit my round face and I don't feel attractive on some days! I still haven't found a regimen that works for me and when I do find products that work it's hard to even keep up a consistent regimen because of my schedule. My hair doesn't like to manipulated much bc of it's texture so I have claimed myself as the wash and go queen and frankly I'm sick of it! I'm afraid to perm my hair bc it will be thin and no volume. What should I do?

 

[PureSilver]

tdillz I know your pains, when I went natural I got very serious about wanting my hair to grow. I decided weaves were gonna be my best friend. I weaved back to back for 2.5 years and wore wigs my third year. At the end of my journey when I decided to relax, my hair grew to almost BSL; I say almost because I was like 2.5'' away. I relaxed away because I wanted a change.
Have you considered adding supplements to your regimen. Not everyone can do daily styling with short hair and see the progress they expect because

1. Genetics
2. Daily Manipulation may not be right for them

Your hair texture is beautiful and I hope you do not give up the natural journey. Try heavy protective styling and see if that helps. I know a lot of ladies here have used weaves and wigs to grow there hair out. I'm even considering to go back to that method I used back when i was natural in order to help me get to MBL.
I hope you find what works for you and HHJ

 

[Guinan]

@tdillz Can you share your reggie? That way we can see if there is any issues with your reggie.

What was your length when your hair was relaxed? I don't think relaxing your hair will solve anything, if your reggie isnt on point. Do you want to relax for personal style or do you think it was grow your hair? Have you thought about texlaxing?

Was your hair limp with no volume when you were relaxed before or are you assuming that if you relax your hair it will be limp without volume?

Do you think it could be from any medical issues ie excessive weight gain/weight loss, thyroid...

 

[tdillz]

tdillz I know your pains, when I went natural I got very serious about wanting my hair to grow. I decided weaves were gonna be my best friend. I weaved back to back for 2.5 years and wore wigs my third year. At the end of my journey when I decided to relax, my hair grew to almost BSL; I say almost because I was like 2.5'' away. I relaxed away because I wanted a change. Have you considered adding supplements to your regimen. Not everyone can do daily styling with short hair and see the progress they expect because 1. Genetics 2. Daily Manipulation may not be right for them Your hair texture is beautiful and I hope you do not give up the natural journey. Try heavy protective styling and see if that helps. I know a lot of ladies here have used weaves and wigs to grow there hair out. I'm even considering to go back to that method I used back when i was natural in order to help me get to MBL. I hope you find what works for you and HHJ

I wish I can weave it up for that Long I jus can't afford it at the moment and I'm trying to re budget my money to see if I can protective style it up for a while! Thank you so much for the encouragement bc everyday is getting harder for me and I'm beyond frustrated!!! I'll keep everyone updated with what I decide to do!

 

[hairqueenny]

First, your hair and your face are both beautiful! I understand your frustration as I've been there my entire life. My hair naturally grows slow and also does not like manipulation. Why not just try a weave? During that time your hair won't be manipulated as much and you won't be monitoring the growth so closely. It will also give you a chance to change your hairstyle. Get some straight hair and you have a temporary relaxer

 

[atlien11]

I was going to suggest weave clip-ins using a natural looking texture that will blend with your hair. They are a little more affordable without the commitment of a full sew-in and hopefully no breakage when used correctly (i.e. dont have them pull/tug and try not to sleep in them). I think someone started a thread about them recently.

Goodluck!!

 

[prettyinpurple]

Don't give up. Honestly it took me 3-4 years to really show some length after starting with shorter hair. I know it's hard when other people on the board show a ton of length after only a year or two. I felt frustrated too.

I transitioned with braids for a 1 1/2 years, so I had some good growth and length when I finally cut the permed ends off my hair. Then I tried a texturizer (horrible idea for me) and cut that off. Once I started with shorter hair, it took that long time to show length again. The it seemed like suddenly my hair reached my shoulders lol. I had more hang time when my hair was wet too.

I swore my hair was growing, or not growing much. But I started coloring my hair (all over color) and it was easy to spot the growth when I saw my roots and my natural color. That was the easiest way for me to see that my hair was growing.

I also keep my hair stretched. Air drying in the fro state is a no go for me. I either airdry in twists or blow dry my hair lightly and twist it after washing (usually the latter).

I don't think that you should relax your hair if you know that it will be thin and have little volume.

 

[tdillz]

@tdillz Can you share your reggie? That way we can see if there is any issues with your reggie. What was your length when your hair was relaxed? I don't think relaxing your hair will solve anything, if your reggie isnt on point. Do you want to relax for personal style or do you think it was grow your hair? Have you thought about texlaxing? Was your hair limp with no volume when you were relaxed before or are you assuming that if you relax your hair it will be limp without volume? Do you think it could be from any medical issues ie excessive weight gain/weight loss, thyroid...

I don't really have a set Reggie to be honest I just wash and condition once a week and maybe gel so my curls can pop but In between ill co wash and try to moisturize my hair is so curly it's hard to detangle! My length of my own relaxed hair was barely shoulder length and thin. It barely grew bc I didn't know how to keep up with it. I would just tie it in a struggle ponytail or bun and that was it. I think I just wanna perm it for personal style not so much length bc I know chemicals aren't gonna grow my hair. I wouldn't need to Texlax bc my hair is beyond curly and wouldn't need to. I am overweight and trying to lose weight and incorporate a new diet so I can see if that works. But I'm just over it and I want a new look anyway bc I'm 26 years old and I still feel like a little kid with my Fro. Somedays I like it and other days I don't.

 

[tdillz]

First, your hair and your face are both beautiful! I understand your frustration as I've been there my entire life. My hair naturally grows slow and also does not like manipulation. Why not just try a weave? During that time your hair won't be manipulated as much and you won't be monitoring the growth so closely. It will also give you a chance to change your hairstyle. Get some straight hair and you have a temporary relaxer

Thanks soooo much! I do love
My texture it's just hard to take care of it bc it is so tightly curled. I do want a weave but I usually stick with wigs because it's cheaper. But I might have to put some money aside to get a nice Remi sew in for my birthday in October.

 

[tdillz]

I was going to suggest weave clip-ins using a natural looking texture that will blend with your hair. They are a little more affordable without the commitment of a full sew-in and hopefully no breakage when used correctly (i.e. dont have them pull/tug and try not to sleep in them). I think someone started a thread about them recently. Goodluck!!

Thanks for the suggestion!!!! I have tried it in the past with straight hair but I may have to revise the idea. If you find the thread please send me the link!

 

[tdillz]

Don't give up. Honestly it took me 3-4 years to really show some length after starting with shorter hair. I know it's hard when other people on the board show a ton of length after only a year or two. I felt frustrated too. I transitioned with braids for a 1 1/2 years, so I had some good growth and length when I finally cut the permed ends off my hair. Then I tried a texturizer (horrible idea for me) and cut that off. Once I started with shorter hair, it took that long time to show length again. The it seemed like suddenly my hair reached my shoulders lol. I had more hang time when my hair was wet too. I swore my hair was growing, or not growing much. But I started coloring my hair (all over color) and it was easy to spot the growth when I saw my roots and my natural color. That was the easiest way for me to see that my hair was growing. I also keep my hair stretched. Air drying in the fro state is a no go for me. I either airdry in twists or blow dry my hair lightly and twist it after washing (usually the latter). I don't think that you should relax your hair if you know that it will be thin and have little volume.

Someone that can relate! Yay! Lol but it's been such a hard journey for the last year especially bc I haven't seen any drastic growth and I'm beyond upset about it! I've tried the twist and braids outs and my hair won't cooperate bc the pic you see I posted I had someone do it for me and I can't keep paying them and I felt like a boy afterwards if I wore them out. I know my hair wouldn't thrive being relaxed but I can't really afford any other options at this point. Thanks for the encouragement and suggestions!!!

 

[atlien11]

Just @-d you on the thread

 

[tdillz]

Don't give up. Honestly it took me 3-4 years to really show some length after starting with shorter hair. I know it's hard when other people on the board show a ton of length after only a year or two. I felt frustrated too. I transitioned with braids for a 1 1/2 years, so I had some good growth and length when I finally cut the permed ends off my hair. Then I tried a texturizer (horrible idea for me) and cut that off. Once I started with shorter hair, it took that long time to show length again. The it seemed like suddenly my hair reached my shoulders lol. I had more hang time when my hair was wet too. I swore my hair was growing, or not growing much. But I started coloring my hair (all over color) and it was easy to spot the growth when I saw my roots and my natural color. That was the easiest way for me to see that my hair was growing. I also keep my hair stretched. Air drying in the fro state is a no go for me. I either airdry in twists or blow dry my hair lightly and twist it after washing (usually the latter). I don't think that you should relax your hair if you know that it will be thin and have little volume.

Yay someone that can relate!!! It's been an uphill battle for almost 3 years! I didn't transition Long and I did my own big chop. My hair doesn't cooperate when it comes to stretching it out and I've never been able to do a twist or braid out successfully and it's frustrating all by itself. I guess I can keep trying but I still see no growth. I still don't know what I'm gonna do I might just invest in a sew in and keep it up in a while but I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks for the encouragement!

 

[prettyinpurple]

Yay someone that can relate!!! It's been an uphill battle for almost 3 years! I didn't transition Long and I did my own big chop. My hair doesn't cooperate when it comes to stretching it out and I've never been able to do a twist or braid out successfully and it's frustrating all by itself. I guess I can keep trying but I still see no growth. I still don't know what I'm gonna do I might just invest in a sew in and keep it up in a while but I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks for the encouragement!

A cute twist-out is harder with shorter hair. I sympathize. Try smaller sized twists and maybe add a roller on the end. They don't need to be cute since you're not wearing them out. I loved the day when finally I was able to do 10 or so large twists and KIM!

I usually don't have the perfectly separated look for my twist out. I separate each twist in 2-4 pieces and fluff out my roots with my hands. It looks more like a stretched curly fro.

To clarify: I don't wear my hair in twists. That would take too much effort since they need to be cute . Lol. I don't like how shrunken twists look on me either. I dry it in twists and retwist it at night a couple of times a week. I try not to go more than a few days without re-stretching it.

 

[Angelbean]

If you feel that discouraged I would give natural a couple more weeks but if its to much then relax...there's ton of info on having and keeping relaxed hair healthy and there are really knowledgable relaxed ladies here on lhcf with bomb hair! I am natural but I love all hair so do what you feel is best but do not feel pressured to remain natural if its really giving you a hard time....hhg

 

[HairPleezeGrow]

You've gotten some gr8 advice thus far. You and your hair are lovely. Very thick head of hair you got there. Good luck on whatever decision you decide. Do what's best for you and either way natural or relaxed your sistas on LHCF are here for you.

 

[LadyRaider]

Just @-d you on the thread

Place it in public please. I'd like to see these clipins!

 

[tdillz]

If you feel that discouraged I would give natural a couple more weeks but if its to much then relax...there's ton of info on having and keeping relaxed hair healthy and there are really knowledgable relaxed ladies here on lhcf with bomb hair! I am natural but I love all hair so do what you feel is best but do not feel pressured to remain natural if its really giving you a hard time....hhg

Thanks u for the encouragement!!!'

 

[tdillz]

You've gotten some gr8 advice thus far. You and your hair are lovely. Very thick head of hair you got there. Good luck on whatever decision you decide. Do what's best for you and either way natural or relaxed your sistas on LHCF are here for you.

I appreciate the support!

 

[sgold04]

Hi everyone! I've been natural for about 2.5 years and I'm actually considering perming my hair at this point! In so frustrated because my hair isn't the length it should be at 2.5 years and it's frustrating! Some days I wanna just cut it and start again, other days I like my hair and other days I feel like I've reached terminal length. I try to switch up and get wigs so I can hve longhair but part of me misses my weaves and sew ins. I've embraced the natural experience and encourage anyone that hasn't tried to to try it but at this point in my life I'm starting not to care and I want and need a change! I feel like my Fro is too small to fit my round face and I don't feel attractive on some days! I still haven't found a regimen that works for me and when I do find products that work it's hard to even keep up a consistent regimen because of my schedule. My hair doesn't like to manipulated much bc of it's texture so I have claimed myself as the wash and go queen and frankly I'm sick of it! I'm afraid to perm my hair bc it will be thin and no volume. What should I do?

I have absolutely no specific advice to give on straightening your hair lol, but I think there are other methods, such as Keratin treatments, that might be an option (I know there are a few threads on LHCF that you could check out). Not sure which, relaxing vs keratin treatments, is better/healthier/cheaper etc, but you can explore all options.

Also, I found someone to crochet braid on craigslist, it was waaaay cheaper than going to the salon. I have seen plenty of adverts for sew-ins and all types of braids as well, so if you are concerned about budget, and don't want to make a rash decision, you can check out the independent stylists in your area on CL.

 

[brebre928]

Wow!!! This was me this past Saturday. I was frustrated...and I even posted on FB about getting a relaxer. OP I think the frustration is just talking. Im just going to say its your hair so do what is best for you and whatever makes you happy. Relaxed or natural lhcf will still love you, lol.

 

[LovinLea]

I think your hair fits your face. It looks cute.

I just went through this after BCing the second time. I miss my longer hair I try to take pictures every month and compare that because it looks the same looking in the mirror everyday. I don't think relaxing will help your hair grow longer, but you will notice it is growing because of the NG.

Do you comb your hair everyday?

 

[pearcey]

be cautious. my hair may be long when i pull a piece to stretch and check it's length, but i know it would not be a good look straight.

it is too bushy and the pieces are way uneven.

unless you want a short cut and basically to start over, in my experience, thinking you will be able to keep the hair you have as a natural may not be that successful.

ofcourse everyone is different.

 

[tdillz]

I have absolutely no specific advice to give on straightening your hair lol, but I think there are other methods, such as Keratin treatments, that might be an option (I know there are a few threads on LHCF that you could check out). Not sure which, relaxing vs keratin treatments, is better/healthier/cheaper etc, but you can explore all options. Also, I found someone to crochet braid on craigslist, it was waaaay cheaper than going to the salon. I have seen plenty of adverts for sew-ins and all types of braids as well, so if you are concerned about budget, and don't want to make a rash decision, you can check out the independent stylists in your area on CL.

I might just look into it! Thanks for the suggestions and the support!

 

[tdillz]

Wow!!! This was me this past Saturday. I was frustrated...and I even posted on FB about getting a relaxer. OP I think the frustration is just talking. Im just going to say its your hair so do what is best for you and whatever makes you happy. Relaxed or natural lhcf will still love you, lol.

Thanks for the encouragement and the support! I will keep y'all posted!

 

[tdillz]

Wow!!! This was me this past Saturday. I was frustrated...and I even posted on FB about getting a relaxer. OP I think the frustration is just talking. Im just going to say its your hair so do what is best for you and whatever makes you happy. Relaxed or natural lhcf will still love you, lol.

I posted this on Facebook too! I'm just
Frustrated and over it! I just have to make a decision!

 

[tdillz]

I think your hair fits your face. It looks cute. I just went through this after BCing the second time. I miss my longer hair I try to take pictures every month and compare that because it looks the same looking in the mirror everyday. I don't think relaxing will help your hair grow longer, but you will notice it is growing because of the NG. Do you comb your hair everyday?

Thanks! I like it on some days and dislike it on others. I just massage and fluff it everyday bc it's hard to detangle. Part of me also wants to big chop again.

 

[tdillz]

be cautious. my hair may be long when i pull a piece to stretch and check it's length, but i know it would not be a good look straight. it is too bushy and the pieces are way uneven. unless you want a short cut and basically to start over, in my experience, thinking you will be able to keep the hair you have as a natural may not be that successful. ofcourse everyone is different.

My hair is a decent length but I expected more length after being 2.5 years. I know it's longer than what it appears but part of me wanted to try a short cut or even tapered cut.

 

[30something]

girl....me too..sometimes. Our hair looks a like.
My hair is thick but its been same length forever. I just lost all interest in my natural hair. I just don't have the zeal to take care of it like I use too. I haven't went back to relaxers because there are just too many things to list. I been keeping my hair straight and wearing extensions.

 

[hopeful]

I don't really have a set Reggie to be honest I just wash and condition once a week and maybe gel so my curls can pop but In between ill co wash and try to moisturize my hair is so curly it's hard to detangle!
...

tdillz
Based on the above, I think you are manipulating your hair way too much. Deep conditioning once a week and then co-washing in between is a lot. Everyone's hair is not cut out for that. My hair is thick and cannot tolerate that much manipulation. My hair never thrived when I was relaxed. I went back to relaxers twice before I finally dug my heals in decided I would not give up. I honestly think you would be fine with shampooing and deep conditioning every two weeks, and moisturizing in between. You need to find a way to keep it in braids or twists most of the time until you get more length. You can braid or twist your own hair then set them on rollers, then add a pretty scarf or flower. You may need to wear a little more make up for awhile and bigger earrings. Or you can keep your hair braided or twisted and wear a wig for awhile. Once you get a little more length you will be happier. I would shoot for at least 75% of the time keeping your hair protected and no more than 25% out. Even once my hair gained strength and length I could only have my hair out 50% of the time.

When I first came to LHCF everyone talked about co-washing a lot and I tried to do that but discovered very quickly that my hair hated that. You almost have to talk to you hair and ask it what it wants and needs. If you really listen, it will tell you what to do.