SIGH...HAIR DEPRESSED

[addaboutmyhair]

I see that you've responded to weave suggestions but not lacefront or wig suggestions. If it's not something you like, then that's that, but I'd hate for you to overlook a possible solution. With a lacefront or wig you can cornrow your own hair yourself to go underneath, and just keep it moisturized. A synthetic lacefront can be as cheap as $25. I've seen some cute ones at hairsisters.com.

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

I am somewhat in your shoes. I had to BC in June because my hair fell out so badly. I decided to get braids this July as my goal is to stay in braids for the next year and have them redone every two months. Last June, my hair was shoulder length. I was so proud, my hair looked healthy and was growing so good. Right after I noticed how well my hair was doing, it started falling out. I was going nuts trying a lot of hair shedding and breakage advice on this board. Nothing worked for me. Around this time, my dr. put me on new meds. I think this attributed to my breakage. Also, I was relaxed at the time so maybe my chemically treated hair and the new meds interacted with each other.

Sometime I get discouraged seeing women with long hair and wonder will I ever reach my goals. This setback blind-sided me big time, but I'm fighting back with a vengence! Every day or every other day, I apply (on my scalp) Aloe Vera gel, Mega-Tek (I'm currently out) and my sulfur oil mix. I seem to have a little new growth. However since my hair grows so slowly, I'm not expecting an inch or more in a month. I've learned to be grateful for whatever I get because this was a "terrible setback!"

I thought I'd share what I'm going through to let you know you're not alone. Hang in there and remember to take it one day at a time...this incident is teaching me time and patience is the key to my HHJ success!

I'm so sorry about your setback. I know its tough to stay positive when a setback like this comes along but you sound like you're on the right track. Thank you for encouraging me and sharing your situation. It's helping me to see the positive in my situation and to focus on the benefits of caring for my hair versus focusing completely on the length. I am the most impatient person on the planet so having to sit here and wait for growth is pure torture for me but I see here from so many ladies that the hard work will pay off. Thanks again.

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

The worst thing you can do is try to do your hair when you're frustrated with it. Braids, weaves, lacefront wigs, half wigs are all options to hide your hair and let it grow. Keeping it moisturized with some protein occasionally should help retention. And maybe stop cutting and baby the ends.

But I feel you in that it just takes time for your hair to grow and that's annoying. My hair grows 1/4 inch per month, no matter what challenge or vitamin I do, it just chugs slowly along. I keep trying though, and when I get too annoyed I weave it/wig it/braid it up.

You're right I have experience with trying to manipulate my hair when I am beyond frustrated and my hair suffers. Thats a good point. I think I am going to go in braids soon

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

OP I just want to give you a hug and say that I agree with the ladies about hiding your hair for a while under a weave or braids or cornrows. It will help you to take your mind off of it and not compare your progress to others. Part of the reason I joined the braid challenge.

Also wanna add that I like these positive threads where we uplift each other, we should keep this up

I agree with keeping up the positivity...it has gotten me through the last couple of days.

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

both products you use do have glycerin (my hair gets very angry when I use it).
try these solutions:

- have you tried a no humectants way? try a very moisturizing conditioner and use it a a leave in and moisturizer (I like Giovanni 50:50), find a good conditioner and when you are feeling so-so, give it a good cowash or deep conditioning session
- air dry with perm rods if you prefer the style
- try wheat germ oil (especially) or avocado butter or grease as a sealant
- find some hair accessories you really like
- look for short hairstyles on youtube
- whenever you have a bad thought, pamper it, and pamper it every single night before bed
- play with hair pins and tucked in parts/twists
- be careful with combs and brushes
- oil rinse

I was very frustrated at neck length but I am very glad I waited, what if you simply don't like that length and you fall in love with your hair once it's longer? I also think styling and life gets easier once your hair is a bit longer.



http://youtu.be/Nnwi3RIM9sg

http://youtu.be/sWK_jmX5fNk

http://youtu.be/9w6rLOYUwCA

Thank you so much for the tips...thanks for spending the time to give me all this great info. I feel bad asking more questions but...when people say pamper and baby the hair do they mean moisturize it more than the rest? I always feel like extra moisture will make my hair stiffer. Is there anyway to get some body in my hair and still keeping it moisturized with water based products? I've heard of the giovanni by so many people I better go ahead and try it. I'm not familiar with the no humectant way though.

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

First of all..I FEEL you. I hate for my braids to look some kind of way, but installing and removing, no matter how gentle we are, can be a lot on the hair. To be frank, keeping your braids for two weeks is nothing when you factor in how long it takes you to instal them (I read somewhere in the thread you install over the weekend...please correct me if I am wrong).

With that said, instead of removing all of your hard work and possibly some of your progress, have you tried rebraiding your edges and maybe three rows back in the front section? This is what I do and for the most part, my braids always look "new-ish"---even though the middle has grown out and has frizzies to boot!! Also and more importantly this method allows me to keep my braids in for 2 months and I retain all my length. This past braid install I kept for 2 months and at the end of that time I grew a healthy inch and I still had a healthy inch when I installed my next PS.

Sorry, so long, but I hope this helps you a bit.

~S~

ETA::

With the re-braiding method, I would braided SLIGHTLY smaller than my original braids so that the "new" braids" served to "hide" the older braids. I also, wore my braids in a high ponytail or in a simple half up/half down style. Keeping it simple style-wise helped me to "hide" my grown out briads (versus the brand new ones). Folks couldn't tell the difference unless they were all up in my head and really, they had no reason to ever be that involved in my hair...lol!!

Hope this makes sense, if not..I'll be happy to try to clarify or post pics of what I have.

You make perfect sense. I gues with the braiding it was more that I would get sick of the style and want something different. I always get wet and wavy hair and after a while that hair looks so raggedy and there's not much I've found that I could do with it. Oh and I forgot to mention that I have huge balds spots on both sides of my head so I never get to wear my hair up in a ponytail with or without braids. Thats another style blocker for me and another source of my frustration. I've been bald there for so long that I don't know how much hair will actually grow back so I always have to style around it. I end up either wearing my braids down, which ends up looking like a bush with the WnW hair, or in a bun. Any hair suggestions for braiding?
Oh and I do the re-braiding around the crown often...I have Hand in hair disease.

 

[Curlykale]

Thank you so much for the tips...thanks for spending the time to give me all this great info. I feel bad asking more questions but...when people say pamper and baby the hair do they mean moisturize it more than the rest? I always feel like extra moisture will make my hair stiffer. Is there anyway to get some body in my hair and still keeping it moisturized with water based products? I've heard of the giovanni by so many people I better go ahead and try it. I'm not familiar with the no humectant way though.

Please ask, if I hadn't asked this forum wouldn't have saved me from madness I mean extra moisture, yes. If your hair gets stiff when you add product and you feel sort of afraid to add more, then you are not using the right product for you.

The right one should be one that immediately makes your hair feel loosened and quenched, no matter how many times you keep adding it. Something that you can use whenever you feel like it, so that you can just use it before bed everyday and then forget about everything. I think the main difference is in ingredients (definitely humectants or not) and consistency. Butters, oils, liquid sprays or aloe work for some, but I still have to find someone who tells me that creamy stuff, aka conditioner, doesn't moisturize their hair enough. Since my hair laughs at all the other stuff, I use conditioner as a leave in and to moisturize as well and my hair always feels elastic and non thirsty, it keeps its body because it is its natural shape, if I had straight hair it would probably feel limp.

As for Giovanni... if want to give it a try, Giovanni 50:50 is the most moisturizing of the line. I can imagine someone not liking their leave in, the popular one, as it has a little bit of protein, but the 50:50 is pure moisture. Other creamy humectant free conditioners are Aussie Moist, Lustrasilk...
@lovegymnasts , a member here, has the most amazing long, full of body, 4a hair and she uses Lustrasilk mixed with wheat germ oil and olive oil daily. I have tried many oils and those 2 are still my favourites, so I basically do the same she does and it works for me.
I lightly wet my hands or hair before, so that the conditioner glides, and I twist or braid my hair afterwards and go to sleep with a satin cap. sometimes I am at home, I moisturize that way, wear a shower cap for half an hour and take it off.

I hope it gives you some ideas!

 

[Shananyganz]

You make perfect sense. I gues with the braiding it was more that I would get sick of the style and want something different. I always get wet and wavy hair and after a while that hair looks so raggedy and there's not much I've found that I could do with it. Oh and I forgot to mention that I have huge balds spots on both sides of my head so I never get to wear my hair up in a ponytail with or without braids. Thats another style blocker for me and another source of my frustration. I've been bald there for so long that I don't know how much hair will actually grow back so I always have to style around it. I end up either wearing my braids down, which ends up looking like a bush with the WnW hair, or in a bun. Any hair suggestions for braiding?
Oh and I do the re-braiding around the crown often...I have Hand in hair disease.

Ok..that puts things in perspective. Considering the hair loss on your sides::

- You don't have to wear the braids in a high bun, that is just what I do. If wearing your hair down is most comfortable/feasible...then just rebraid what can be seen. Also with "textured" extension hair-- that myth of get up and go needs to be disspelled; sometimes we have to treat it like it is our own. Do you try twist-out or braid outs (to help the hair last longer)?

- What about doing braids in the front and then a sew-in in the back? I know you don't feel cozy doing your own weaves...neither did I. BUT I learned to do them by watching YouTube and it is super simple. Plus with this method you don't have to be the greatest. I use curly hair (inexpensive Zury brand...I can breakdown price if you like), it is durable so long as you take care of it and it covers a multitude of "hair sins". I have even done this method with straight hair, although admittedly, it didn't look as good as the curly.

- You can even try a full head curly quick-weave (not sure where your preference, or lack thereof, for weaves starts and stops). I recommend doing one that is removeable...one where you glue it on the cap (whichis laid ontop of a plastic cap) and not your hair.

~S~

ETA::

How is it that you are taking care of the wet and wavy hair? Maybe it is the brand of hair you are using and not so much that it can't last. Not to say the brand needs to be expensive, cause it doesn't...but some brands work better than other.

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

Please ask, if I hadn't asked this forum wouldn't have saved me from madness I mean extra moisture, yes. If your hair gets stiff when you add product and you feel sort of afraid to add more, then you are not using the right product for you.

The right one should be one that immediately makes your hair feel loosened and quenched, no matter how many times you keep adding it. Something that you can use whenever you feel like it, so that you can just use it before bed everyday and then forget about everything. I think the main difference is in ingredients (definitely humectants or not) and consistency. Butters, oils, liquid sprays or aloe work for some, but I still have to find someone who tells me that creamy stuff, aka conditioner, doesn't moisturize their hair enough. Since my hair laughs at all the other stuff, I use conditioner as a leave in and to moisturize as well and my hair always feels elastic and non thirsty, it keeps its body because it is its natural shape, if I had straight hair it would probably feel limp.

As for Giovanni... if want to give it a try, Giovanni 50:50 is the most moisturizing of the line. I can imagine someone not liking their leave in, the popular one, as it has a little bit of protein, but the 50:50 is pure moisture. Other creamy humectant free conditioners are Aussie Moist, Lustrasilk...
@lovegymnasts , a member here, has the most amazing long, full of body, 4a hair and she uses Lustrasilk mixed with wheat germ oil and olive oil daily. I have tried many oils and those 2 are still my favourites, so I basically do the same she does and it works for me.
I lightly wet my hands or hair before, so that the conditioner glides, and I twist or braid my hair afterwards and go to sleep with a satin cap. sometimes I am at home, I moisturize that way, wear a shower cap for half an hour and take it off.

I hope it gives you some ideas!

yes you gave me lots of ideas, thank u. Im going to try the wheatgerm oil if i can find it

Ok..that puts things in perspective. Considering the hair loss on your sides::

- You don't have to wear the braids in a high bun, that is just what I do. If wearing your hair down is most comfortable/feasible...then just rebraid what can be seen. Also with "textured" extension hair-- that myth of get up and go needs to be disspelled; sometimes we have to treat it like it is our own. Do you try twist-out or braid outs (to help the hair last longer)?

- What about doing braids in the front and then a sew-in in the back? I know you don't feel cozy doing your own weaves...neither did I. BUT I learned to do them by watching YouTube and it is super simple. Plus with this method you don't have to be the greatest. I use curly hair (inexpensive Zury brand...I can breakdown price if you like), it is durable so long as you take care of it and it covers a multitude of "hair sins". I have even done this method with straight hair, although admittedly, it didn't look as good as the curly.

- You can even try a full head curly quick-weave (not sure where your preference, or lack thereof, for weaves starts and stops). I recommend doing one that is removeable...one where you glue it on the cap (whichis laid ontop of a plastic cap) and not your hair.

~S~

ETA::

How is it that you are taking care of the wet and wavy hair? Maybe it is the brand of hair you are using and not so much that it can't last. Not to say the brand needs to be
expensive, cause it doesn't...but some brands work better than other.

I usually get the cheapest version of human hair wet and wavy and im good about moisturizing and twisting or braiding at night but i still get the bushyness by lunch time. Im bored with the style even though its always been the type of hair that i choose for braids. Before my hair journey i wore braids for a year and got lots of length so i know its a good way i just need to find a style i feel pretty in for awhile. And i get concerned about my edges when i braid because i arely have any

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

@ZLUVSNEWZEE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzJY96m3lkg

Thank you for the inspirational video...tear

 

[africanqueen456]

I am in a bad place right now and I hoping you ladies can help bring me out of it. I am sick of my hair. I BCed 4/30/2010 and can't help but regret it since my hair is still only neck length. I had once piece of hair (literally one piece) that was shoulder length and see through. Now while the front of my hair looks decent the back looks awful. I have this nape hair that is course and won't straighten NO MATTER WHAT so I end up having the hair that sticks out straight whenever I move my head. And even after trimming significantly I still have see through hair back there that won't lay down. Now I can't wear my hair in any style, only a ponytail and my hair barely fits into a ponytail so I have to use bobbypins to make a pathetic bun. Ugh...I am so hair anxious. I put in braids and take them out in two weeks because they start to look bad, I do a bantu knot out and my hair looks a mess by the end of the day, and now this with the straight hair. I am relaxed and I flat ironed last night and my hair looked divine but of course after wrapping and sleeping in a satin bonnet my hair wont lay down. I want the long thick hair so bad but I'm getting so discouraged because whenever I wear styles that don't require heat my hair snaps off like crazy so I retain nothing. Only when I wear my hair flatironed straight can I manipulate and comb it without losing any hair. My regimen is simple: wash and deep condition once a week, air dry. CO wash once a week when wearing bantu knots. Mosturize with garnier sleek/shine, hairveda whipped, or hawaiian silky and seal with oil. I am not happy with my progress or the condition my hair is in. I did a year long stretch and touched up about 1 month ago very carefully. What am I doing wrong? Am I the only one who feels its unfair that we have such high maitenence hair? I sit next to girls at work who have long flowing thick hair for no reason other than they were born with it. But we have to jump through hoops and rings of fire to get decent length and that is after going a few years with "what the hell happened to your head" hair. Am I the only one who feels cursed with this difficult hair. If we all were born with long flowing hair that kinked and curled then I would be fine with that but we're not. All other races of women are but we're not. Even biracial women often are born with long hair but I have yet to see it in our culture. My 3 year old dd doesn't have much hair and I try to keep her hair protective styled all the time with twists or braids. I mosturize her hair and comb and brush it carefully, I avoid rubberbands. Still she has no hair. It's not fair. I need some encouragement and reassurance so that I will keep pushing forward and find my confidence again. I've lost it in feeling ugly because I don't have a decent hairstyle to wear which is important to me. I hope I'm not upsetting anyone in my rant but I am so through...please pull me back ladies.

Honestly mama it is how you make it. People complain that natural hair is "high maintenance" and yet I barely do much to my hair. But I dont see my natural hair as a hassle .You have to do what works for you. People have simple regimens like urs and retain length.
With your daughter the reason why she might be retaining length is because she might be sleeping on a cotton pillowcase. I dont think you should fuss on growth so much with her. I dont think you have to protective style so much for ur little one either. I think you should wash and condition
. But I feel like that It sounds like you are doing too much too your hair.All the bantu knots and the braids.It is a lot .
I have a few key questions:
How is your diet? Are you exercising and taking vitamins?(Taking vitamins could help moisturize hair from the inside;that and water)
Why are you using heat?(That could be affecting your retention)
Are you using products that have sulfates in them.(You shampoo)
Are your conditioners moisturizing enough? Which ones are you using?
Do you clarify? Do you use protein?

You need to just take a breather hun. I know how feel. I have been apl for a long while (about 2 years. I went natural in that time though.) Also the crown of my hair has barely grow since I bced and I still cant make a decent ponytail even though I am full sl. I just made a thread like this too.
But please look at youtube and this board .There a lot of women of color who have healthy hair. Even where I live I see a lot of ladies with apl or longer.

You could wear wigs. (I plan to do that as well) Maybe plait your hair under and wash every one or two weeks. Also try to ease up on the heat.