spinoff: dark skin women with long hair are

[MissYocairis]

No, I was not drinking last night when i post this

You sure, Plove!

 

[Softresses]

I don't like that theory at all and I really don't see where that theory is any better than saying, "you are pretty for a dark skinned girl". I'm not even sure why that theory is necessary. As far as stereotypes went for me....in my experience it was always whether or not you had "GOOD HURR" as to whether your "HURR" would be long....had nothing to do with your HUE. Now that we know THAT is erroneous, I'm not sure we have any basis to be developing or perpetuating lesser known myths about Black hair and Black skintone.

CantBeCopied, I agree that this is an eroneous thought as well, and it is a very uncomfortable thing to talk about. Unfortunately I have experienced it, people actually say that they are surprised when I wear my hair down, surprised that I could grow it that length. In this area it is as though it does not surprise people that light skinned women have long hair. They don't seem to get the same response.

 

[amy1234]

I've never heard of this before...

 

[determined_to_grow]

What theory- that when some people see dark skin girls they question whether they are Indian and/or Trini or even exotic?
In my opinion - ME - speaking as a dark skin girl who has lived in NYC, PA, and MN - have gotten comments - on how "exotic I look".
I think Plove's comment is true- people think we are exotic!!!!!
I'm not saying that the theory is a truism that should be taken as a fact however A LOT (you not included) of people feel that once a dark skin person has long hair she MUST be "mixed" w/ something point blank!
In reality there aren't a lot of dark skin girls w/ long hair - it's very rear to see so and that's why people question whether they (we) are exotic!

I don't like that theory at all and I really don't see where that theory is any better than saying, "you are pretty for a dark skinned girl". I'm not even sure why that theory is necessary. As far as stereotypes went for me....in my experience it was always whether or not you had "GOOD HURR" as to whether your "HURR" would be long....had nothing to do with your HUE. Now that we know THAT is erroneous, I'm not sure we have any basis to be developing or perpetuating lesser known myths about Black hair and Black skintone.

 

[*Happily Me*]

i'm not dark, i'm brown. sometimes lighter in the winter.

i get "are you dominican?" questions too. if you're a BLACK girl of ANY hue, it may be a suprise to people when your hair is longish. Dark skinned girls don't own that comment.

to me, it is the same as saying "you're cute for a dark girl"



IMHO

 

[*Happily Me*]

What theory- that when some people see dark skin girls they question whether they are Indian and/or Trini or even exotic?
In my opinion - ME - speaking as a dark skin girl who has lived in NYC, PA, and MN - have gotten comments - on how "exotic I look".
I think Plove's comment is true- people think we are exotic!!!!!
I'm not saying that the theory is a truism that should be taken as a fact however A LOT (you not included) of people feel that once a dark skin person has long hair she MUST be "mixed" w/ something point blank!
In reality there aren't a lot of dark skin girls w/ long hair - it's very rear to see so and that's why people question whether they (we) are exotic!

people always think light skinned girls with long hair are mixed too!

i don't get it...

 

[dlewis]

I understand what you are saying but I believe you are wrong. A lot of woman in my family are dark and have long hair, both of my grandmothers are dark and they both had very long hair as younger women. I had never thought about it not being the norm until you posted this.

 

[determined_to_grow]

people always think light skinned girls with long hair are mixed too!

i don't get it...

Apparently I don't get it either - the thread in my opinion was about "dark skin women looking exotic if they have long hair" and not light skin and not brown skin.... furthermore the posts went on to state that it's not often that you see dark skin women w/ long hair. (I said I agree - 1- that people think we are exotic for some reason and 2- that it is not often that I see it)

I'm not saying DARK skin women own the comment! I'm just discussing my experience and say I agree w/ the general experience of Plove, bmoregirl (sp) and other women who say they get questioned on it all the time- that's it nothing more.

I agree w/ you - I think anyone w/ healthy hair - be it short or long - look exotic b/c it's rare.

 

[CreoleBelle]

I can't say that it's true for everyone, but I'm always asked if I'm part Native American or people automatically assume that my hair is weave. My light skinned friends with long hair aren't asked those questions. I agree that this is a touchy subject, but it's also a reality. Now whether or not dark skinned women look exotic when they have long hair, each person is going to have their own opinion about that. I do believe that it's safe to say that one would need more than just long hair to look exotic in my book. Where I'm from in southwest Louisiana, many dark skinned women have long hair (at least the ones in my family do). But then again, people say it's because of our creole ancestry. I beg to differ.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

You know what? I remember reading an interview of Kenya Moore when she was shooting the movie Trois. They got on the subject of her hair and complexion. She said, 'people ask me all of the time if this is my real hair. I wonder would they ask the same if I were light skinned.' Interesting...

 

[Softresses]

In the area in which I live, if a dark skinned woman with real long hair stands next to a light skinned woman with a long weave, people assume that the light skinned woman's hair is real, and that the darker skinned woman has a weave. They also assume that she is mixed, and therefore dismiss it as though that should be considered normal for mixed people.

Backwards I know, but I have seen and experienced it all too often, being asked where I buy my weave (never mind that it is real), when my lighter skinned friend snickers and pats her weave.

 

[glamazon386]

Perfect example of what ploves talking about... I met my current SO at a cookout July 1. When I met him he came up and introduced himself and was sitting there at the table with a bunch of people talking. Some of his friends were there. Me and my friend didn't really know anyone else. I just knew one of the guys throwing it and there were a few people I recognized from school. He actually touched my hair after he introduced himself and was like oooh girl you got some pretty hair what you got indian in your family? At first I was like why did this clown touch my hair? I didn't like him because he invaded my space and touched my hair. I hate when people do that. Stop touching me!! But when he made the comment afterwards, I busted out laughing and was like what? He later told me that he came and talked to me because he thought I was Jamaican like he was (He's Jamaican and Guyanese) when he saw me because of my complexion and hair from a distance. Then when he got up close he was like oooh you're pretty. But my complexion and hair were what attracted him in the first place PERIOD. And then all the dudes there at the table wanted to go on asking well what are you mixed with? You sure you're all black? You don't look all black for the rest of the evening at the cookout. I was like will y'all shut the hell up! Let it go! Can I eat my hamburger and hot dog please?!!?! It was crazy. That was all they wanted to talk about for the rest of the night. Mind you I got 6 numbers at that one cookout all thanks to that hair and my tan I got on my back porch that supposedly looked "exotic" like I was from the island somewhere. People trip me out. It's funny too bc I didn't like my SO bc of the whole hair touching thing. I was like OMG I DONT LIKE HIM HE TOUCHED ME WITHOUT PERMISSION AND MADE THAT WACK ASS COMMENT. And when he finally told me that he talked to me bc he thought I was Jamaican I busted out laughing and he couldn't believe my hair was weave. He still loved it though. And I'm glad I changed my mind about not liking him cuz now that's my sweetie.

But point of that whole story was I understand what you ladies are saying about stereotypes or that not necessarily being true or whatever but the fact of the matter is, some people out there still think like plove stated in her original message. All stereotypes have some type of truth in them. While they may not apply to a whole population, they are true for some portion of it. Of course we ladies on this board know that all women, especially black women (of every shade, shape, size, color, etc) can grow long beautiful hair period. And we have proof here on this board. But how many people out in the world still believe that we cant? And how many of you felt that same way before joining this board? Same thing goes for plove's comment about dark skin women with long hair. We are in the minority here on this board when it comes to hair. The rest of the world has no clue about the information we have on this site. Just because you haven't experienced it or heard it before, doesn't mean it's not true. Or just because you now have more knowledge about hair personally and know that's not true, doesn't mean that other people still don't think like that.

There is truth in plove's statement obviously because there are members here who can vouch for it. So if she was drinking or not doesn't devalue her statements. Because I am dark skinned and usually wear my hair long (usually apl-bsl length weaves) I get approached my so many more men than I did when it was my own shoulder length or shorter hair (and even if it was straight I got less attention). What plove is talking about happens to me ALL the time. And I don't think I look ONE TAD exotic. I get stopped by men and women. Especially african or west indian people. I get asked if I'm Ethiopian the most. And I'm like what? Even when my hair is straight I still get it sometimes. And the thing is, I wear weave most of the time and people think it's my hair and act a fool. I don't know what it is. At first I used to get offended but now I just laugh and tell them no I'm just regular black. Not black mixed with anything or west indian or what other random nationality they asked me I was. I never got stopped and got comments on my hair when it was shorter or straight. I never got called exotic before when my hair was shorter or straight.


I think it's considered more the norm, like its almost expected for light skinned women to have hair. If they have long hair, it's no biggie because more light skinned women have long hair in comparison to dark skinned women. It is a rarity to see dark skinned women with their own healthy long hair. For example, when I was in middle and high school my best friend was high yellow and she always had problems with her hair falling out due to bad stylists not treating it right. So her hair would never grow, she always wore weave or braids. Still does til this day. And I remember us having a conversation about about men and what they like. And while I felt like all girls don't have to be lightskinned with long hair to be pretty (I felt like she always got more attention than I did bc she light skinned with long (weave) hair even though I had shoulder length hair), she was like really? I don't understand why guys think all light skinned girls have long hair because we don't. My hair won't grow like yours. I just never knew she admired my hair like that. I mean yeah it was shoulder length and healthy at the time but I didn't' really care. I wanted it longer.

 

[Cheleigh]

I think other posters hit the reason on the head.

I think that it's rare to see black women of any hue with long hair (that's not a weave) these days.

When some folks see a lighter skinned woman with long hair, they assume that she's multiracial/biracial with white, so therefore, it's the "other" side of her heritage she got her length from.

When some folks see a darker skinned woman with long hair, they assume she is multiracial/biracial with something other than white (Indian, Latino (white)), so therefore, it's the "other" side of her hertigate she got her length from.

I cannot prove this, but my guess is also that percentage wise, there are probably more medium brown, dark brown and chocolate brown complected women then there are very light brown light brown complected women. So it "seems" that fewer medium brown to chocolate brown women have long hair, when the percentage is probably about equal. The other factor to consider that a slightly greater percentage of very light brown to light brown women might have pressed/natural hair for a variety of reasons (only one of which is because of a stereotypically advantageous hair texture) which CAN (not always) allow your hair to grow stronger.

 

[GIRLIE]

It's very sad but true, I have experienced the same thing where I live (UK) the majority think that if you're a dark skinned black women and your hair is long it must be a weave, when you tell them it's not then you must be mixed!!?? And that goes for men and women. Thankfuly us inteligent women on lhcf know better, but believe me this ignorant assumption is rife out there. Hopefully the more black women, light or dark skinned who grow healthy long hair the more this myth will be dispelled. I used to get offended when this happened in the past and have been known to cuss a few people out! but now I just ignore them, it's not worth it. Some people are just ignorant. I agree it is not that often that you see dark complexioned black women with long hair but that does not mean that it is no possible. Hopefuly one day more people will realise this. We live in hope!!

On another note, unfortunately most people think any black women with long hair whatever their complexion must be wearing a weave, period! Oh well.

 

[dynamic1]

On another note, unfortunately most people think any black women with long hair whatever their complexion must be wearing a weave, period! Oh well.

I agree! Just as many sisters with fairer skin and longer hair get the weave accusation and the heritage question. We are all speaking from experience. Additionally, it gets annoying when people assume your hair length/health has any correlation with skin color, especially when the hair type is similar. It's not genetics, it's good hair care practices!

side note: There are black people all over the world. So, I don't understand the "are you black?" question. Puerto Rico, The Domican Republic are countries, just as America is a country. This is what I challenge when people ask me if I am black?

 

[cocoberry10]

What theory- that when some people see dark skin girls they question whether they are Indian and/or Trini or even exotic?
In my opinion - ME - speaking as a dark skin girl who has lived in NYC, PA, and MN - have gotten comments - on how "exotic I look".
I think Plove's comment is true- people think we are exotic!!!!!
I'm not saying that the theory is a truism that should be taken as a fact however A LOT (you not included) of people feel that once a dark skin person has long hair she MUST be "mixed" w/ something point blank!
In reality there aren't a lot of dark skin girls w/ long hair - it's very rear to see so and that's why people question whether they (we) are exotic!

Plove, I know what you mean, but I don't totally agree with the statement. I think when people see a Black woman with long hair, regardless of hue alone, they think she is mixed with something other than Black. I do think some may believe it's less common for dark skinned women to have long hair, but we know that's wrong after LHCF. My older sister who is medium brown has always been questioned on what she was. She really had a complex in high school, b/c some of the Black kids would say she definitely wasn't straight black. When she was little, she had natural waistlength hair, and her hair is still long for a Black woman (at least BSL). My younger sister is lighter, and also has a curly texture, so people always think she's Dominican or Puerto Rican. And worse, people always question whether we are all really full sisters (heck yeah!). It's like people can't accept that Black people really do come in all shades and colors, have different hair textures, different complexions, eye colors, etc! I say tell those people to get a life!

 

[locabouthair]

hmm. i'm dark skinned with short hair and people ALWAYS ask me where i'm from.

 

[Cooyah]

I was one of those people before finding LHCF. Simple as that. And even know sometimes it'l' sneak in.

Ex: the "So What" video with Ciara and those guys (their names escape me at the present) had two black girls one dark one light, I automatically assumed that the dark skin girl had a weave and the light one was wearing her hair for the first few times I watched the video. Then I really watched the video one day and I thought, "Dude you're an idiot, all them heffalumps wearing weave"

It takes time to get over stereotypes that have been indoctrinated in you for years. I'm a work in progress.

 

[MizaniMami]

I was one of those people before finding LHCF. Simple as that. And even know sometimes it'l' sneak in.

Ex: the "So What" video with Ciara and those guys (their names escape me at the present) had two black girls one dark one light, I automatically assumed that the dark skin girl had a weave and the light one was wearing her hair for the first few times I watched the video. Then I really watched the video one day and I thought, "Dude you're an idiot, all them heffalumps wearing weave"

It takes time to get over stereotypes that have been indoctrinated in you for years. I'm a work in progress.

Shoot I used to be like this with ALL black women. If they had long hair it was a weave-no matter the color, light or dark. I thought either it was a weave or they was mixed.

Sometimes (okay I lied, A LOT of times) I still do think the mixed thing (no matter what color or hue). As weird as it sounds, as much hard work as LHCF does to achieve long hair and I see some women with long hair who do NOTHING, I still think "oh she must be mixed or a long time natural." I can't help it. I am now in the mind frame that it takes hard work to have long hair. Maybe that will change maybe not.

 

[determined_to_grow]

LOL cooyah!!! I use to think it was required for everyone who did videos one requirement to have long hair- and it wasn't until recently (a few months ago) when I realized as you put it "Dude you're an idiot, all them heffalumps wearing weave" !!!1

I was one of those people before finding LHCF. Simple as that. And even know sometimes it'l' sneak in.

Ex: the "So What" video with Ciara and those guys (their names escape me at the present) had two black girls one dark one light, I automatically assumed that the dark skin girl had a weave and the light one was wearing her hair for the first few times I watched the video. Then I really watched the video one day and I thought, "Dude you're an idiot, all them heffalumps wearing weave"

It takes time to get over stereotypes that have been indoctrinated in you for years. I'm a work in progress.

 

[Dannygirl]

personly i hate how men oooo and aaa over light skin woman..

I'm in the club and one of my home boys was like .."YO YO ***** LOOK AT THAT YELLLOW BONE AINT SHE PRETTY?.. I'm sitting here and see his boys staring and drooling ... How she gonna be cute with a messed up weave and f@#k up grill? LOL while this darker skin female was standing next to her with pretty skin ,hair BSL and ,face (I knew it was real because I could tell and i even asked her and felt it) and they were about to fall out because of seeing ther liight skin girl... i was like she got a weave? and they like NO NO SHE AINT ...u know what.. nevermind.. i just left ...

 

[deltagyrl]

Hmmm.....

As someone of a darker hue I'd have to agree that darker skinned women with longer, healthy hair are sometimes perceived to be anomalies.

I grew up in the south, haved lived out west and currently live "up north." That perception is pretty much everywhere but tends to be a little more relaxed up here.

BP have so many issues and this is just an example of yet another one (sigh). Will it ever end?

Oh and I wanted to add that I work with quite a few Dominicans & Puerto Ricans and they DEFINITELY have issues with each other's hair.....It's interesting to watch other cultures struggle with the same issues we've been struggling with.

 

[anatomicallycorrect]

exotic. IMO when your light skin with long hair it's the norm.
It's like it's no surprise. Your suppose to be the black women with the long hair. When your a dark skin women with long hair Exotic.
Dark skin women are suppose to have the short hair.

I think in a way that's a good thing because as a dark skin woman it make you stand out more when you have long hair.

The question is what do you'll think, do you think I'm wrong or right.

I've dont' see it that way.I also don't like to look at things in a dark vs light skin type of way. Somem people look exotic, dark or light, long or short hair. The assumption that fair skinned people can grow hair and darker skinned can't is totally naive and untrue. My mother is fair skinned and has always had short hair. I am Halle type and currently armpit length. Not even all whites can grow long hair. i remember seeing an interview with Dorothy Hamill and she was asked if she has ever wanted to grow her hair long, and she said "yes" and some other things, which gave me the impression that she couldn't grow her hair very long, for whatever reason.

 

[dynamic1]

personly i hate how men oooo and aaa over light skin woman..

I'm in the club and one of my home boys was like .."YO YO ***** LOOK AT THAT YELLLOW BONE AINT SHE PRETTY?.. I'm sitting here and see his boys staring and drooling ... How she gonna be cute with a messed up weave and f@#k up grill? LOL while this darker skin female was standing next to her with pretty skin ,hair BSL and ,face (I knew it was real because I could tell and i even asked her and felt it) and they were about to fall out because of seeing ther liight skin girl... i was like she got a weave? and they like NO NO SHE AINT ...u know what.. nevermind.. i just left ...

This is a very hateful comment and very divisive. What makes your opinion more valid than theirs? Simply because they described her as yellow, does not mean, that is what they thought made her attractive. (Insert, short girl, tall girl, thick girl, etc....) Perhaps your distaste for the "ooing and ahhing" over light skin women, makes this girl un-pretty too you. Looking for reasons why someone is not attractive, when someone else states otherwise, only diminishes your inner beauty.

This type of thinking is just as bad as someone stating, "She’s cute for a dark skin girl......for a big girl, etc."

I understand where you are coming from, but your post sounds bitter. I get tired of men oohing and ahhing over women with big butts. Guess what, I do not have a big butt. So, should I start tearing another woman down because she has an ample rear? I think not.

Would you want someone to dismiss you like this? Imagine, they start finding all the reasons, you are unattractive becasue the men are "ooing and ahhing" over the girl with the natural hair. (just an example and food for thought).

Is it 2006?

ETA: I have natural hair, so I hope no one takes my post wrong. And the rear end thing is also an example to further illustrate my point.

 

[CreoleBelle]

Ok ladies, let's play nice. We're all grown in here. I knew sooner or later, somebody would get really offended.

 

[sweetcashew]

I know a lot of Long hair light skin women that aren't consider exotic because they are identifiable.
People think I'm exotic because they can't figure out where I'm from or what race I am. They always have to ask. (I look more black in pics than in real life)
I also know dark skin women with long hair that don't look exotic at all. And then there are other dark skinned women with short hair that look completely exotic.
So it's individual. It's about your features, not your hair.

 

[sweetcashew]

I understand what you are saying but I believe you are wrong. A lot of woman in my family are dark and have long hair, both of my grandmothers are dark and they both had very long hair as younger women. I had never thought about it not being the norm until you posted this.

I agree with the bolded. I grew up in Guyana where dark skinned girls having long hair isn't a big deal. It's pretty damn common. My sister is dark and had the thickest waistlength hair I've ever seen so it was right there in my house too.

 

[sweetcashew]

You know what? I remember reading an interview of Kenya Moore when she was shooting the movie Trois. They got on the subject of her hair and complexion. She said, 'people ask me all of the time if this is my real hair. I wonder would they ask the same if I were light skinned.' Interesting...

Yes they would. I get asked that all the time. People could be at my house and watch me wash and blow dry my hair and they will still doubt that my hair is all mine.

 

[Whimsy]

all i can say to this thread is WOW.

 

[carmella25]

Plove,
I totally agree with you.