Spinoff- Relaxer "Nazism"

[Aviah]

I'm curious:
Do women with tighter curls (like tight 4a/4b) get more hassle from relaxed militants than those with looser curls(type 2's and 3's)? I would think so because of the old "straighter-the-better" mentality. Or does it depend more on where you are? I'm from NYC and get a different vibe about my hair there then I do when in London... What do you think?
BTW: Sorry if I offended anyone with the term. Let's keep it civil please!

 

[Ramya]

I think it has to do with location. I get a lot of compliments and my hair is a weird mix of 4A and 3C. Now some people tell me I should 'press' my hair but for the most part I haven't experienced relaxer Nazism *yet* not to say that it doesn't exist because I'm sure it does.

 

[Aviah]

Where are you located?

 

[msa]

I find that yes, women with kinky/coily natural hair do get "hassled" more whether it's on the job, at home, or from random strangers.

But, I think the bigger issue is the general anti-natural attitude that is pervasive in our society in general and in the black community. Natural hair is not considered beautiful by the majority of people and that translates into negative comments and actions that come from all sides.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I find that yes, women with kinky/coily natural hair do get "hassled" more whether it's on the job, at home, or from random strangers.

But, I think the bigger issue is the general anti-natural attitude that is pervasive in our society in general and in the black community. Natural hair is not considered beautiful by the majority of people and that translates into negative comments and actions that come from all sides.

Right. I think we have to keep in mind that - 75% of Black women use permanent means for straighteninig their coils and curls.....This is viewed as 'no threat" Only 25% of women wear hair devoid of chems, but.............We don't see many of them... That also depends on the region. My trip to the south this spring - showed my NOTHING but straight hair. I was sticking out like a sore thumb!

During my Corporate career, the questioning never stopped. Appalling and overwhelming. Most people cannot handle that type of rascist abuse on the job( can you wash your hair? can I touch it? etc etc....). I could not handle it. Another reason for leaving corporate america FOREVER.


No matter who the Nazis are..............
The billion dollar industry tells us that STRAIGHT is what people desire.
I am not down on anyone for that.
I wore relaxers for 20 years... and DEMANDED Straight hair....every 6 weeks.

It is what it is.

This is an age old discussion. The Eurocentric standard of Beauty is pervasive.
Our First Lady is relaxed.....for a reason people.

 

[Ramya]

Where are you located?

Birmingham, Al. There are a lot of natural women here and most of their hair looks amazing no matter the texture. I'm not sure what they go through but I've had a much easier time in bham than in lower Alabama.

 

[taz007]

Nope. I was as 4BBBZZZ as you could get. I was relaxed then natural for two years, relaxed for one year and back to natural for 7 more years. Never got harassed on the job or in public (maybe 'cause I'm cute ). In fact, I reached the pinnacle of my career in corporate america with natural hair (and no, I did not press it).

I relaxed again last year, not due to any outside pressure. Just a personal choice.

Here is my opinion. You get what you give out. If you feel like people will harass you or think lowly of you, they will. Sorry.

 

[Solitude]

I haven't experienced Relaxer Nazism IRL. I relax my hair due to personal choice. I grew up in the south (Texas & Louisiana). Natural hair/stretching is more difficult due to the IMMENSE humidity here in Houston. A lot of women with very long hair wear weaves.

On the contrary, while living in DC & Maryland for the past year, almost everyone I knew had natural hair & I got a lot of comments about why do I still relax my hair? The cooler weather and less humidity allowed more styling options. In Houston, I relaxed often. While living in DC, I was able to stretch for 6 months because there was very little humidity. About 85% of the attorneys I met had natural hair. Some men even had locs. This makes me wonder if people are really getting "harassed" over their natural hair in real life, or if they are just self-conscious.

ETA: If a lot of the people with natural hair are getting comments from family rather than strangers, that may reflect family attitudes (and ignorance) more than the general attitudes in society. I'm sorry, but with things the way they are now, people really have bigger things to worry about than your hair.

 

[msa]

Here is my opinion. You get what you give out. If you feel like people will harass you or think lowly of you, they will. Sorry.

I agree with you, but only to a certain extent. I know body language and facial expressions can invite positive or negative attention.

But, I really don't think that's the case for everyone. I know I can be having a lovely day, minding my own business, and be standing in line at the grocery store or mall and have two girls behind me talking loudly about the "nappy s***" on my head. Or a hair dresser will come up to me and give me their card and tell me they can "really do something" with my head so that I "don't have to walk around like that".

And then there's the fact that many people are taught to be anti-natural from the time they are born. When your family members are insulting you as a child or teenager, that has nothing to do with how you felt or may have thought about yourself.

My issue isn't really with the blatant insults I've gotten out in public. It's more with the "when are you going to straighten your hair?" questions accompanied by a stank facial expression and eye roll that I get from people and the fact that there is almost no support for the idea that natural hair is beautiful.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Well I'm not a relaxer Nazi, nor will I ever be....I relax because I want to.....as far as location, I'm from SC, with these music videos showing women with long blk straight hair...........that's all they look at, and that's what some men want, so that's the style.....what ever is on the music video is the style.....some people don't make their hair choices on their own.....when I was living in SC I didn't see many natural women, I saw alot of ladies rocking the kinky twist, micro braids, or weaves.....but here in texas I have seen ladies rock the natural style, I really haven't seen too many relaxed ladies, I really don't look for them.....

 

[taz007]

ETA: If a lot of the people with natural hair are getting comments from family rather than strangers, that may reflect family attitudes (and ignorance) more than the general attitudes in society. I'm sorry, but with things the way they are now, people really have bigger things to worry about than your hair.

Totally agree. With friends/family like that ...

I remember one time, I was going to the LAX airport looking tore down. I had on ill-fitting clothes, hair was natural (and flying all over the place) no make-up on, etc. I was NOT feeling good about myself that day.

Well I had just read a book called "Quantum Success" (very "Secret" like, but much better). It states what you put out is what will get. So as I walked into the airport, I changed my attitude and thought that I was looking like Halle Berry (NOT!) and put out some love vibes to everyone at the airport.

Wouldn't you know it. I got a LOT of love back. Everyone was just beaming at me and thought I was so attractive without me having to say a word first (No, I did not have revealing clothes on . In fact, I had on baggy jeans and a long blouse)

So, I am a firm believer in what you put out is what you will receive. You may not be aware of the vibe that you are putting out. I know I didn't.

 

[Poranges]

I am relaxed, simply because I want to and I like how it looks on me. Never experienced Relaxed Nazis. My hair is a THICK, COARSE...so dense you cannot feel my scalp type. I love it but I'm just too impatient to deal with all that right now, Relaxing gives me an alternative I like...As lazy as I am.

I'm 22 weeks post as of this week, and this stretch has just let me know my hair doesn't want to be natural right now. I don't force relaxers on people, my head is my concern and I don't care about other folks lives in any aspect so why their hair? Please...Never experienced Natural Nazis either, I frankly don't really care what other folks say if its not helping me in some form. I use mostly natural products, just because I like them, I got most of them from naturals on this board..& I appreciate that because its helped me.

But..any one who is forcing an extremity on me, relaxed or natural, gets ignored and that's all to it. I just don't like people who say relaxed people have self hate and naturals are too self righteous because IMO...it ain't even like that.

 

[GulfCoastChica]

I live and work in the Houston area and rarely experience "Relaxer Nazism". Everybody just does what makes them comfortable. Honestly, it is not that much of a thought. As far as work, I am employed at a large university and the environment is very mixed in every way from culture to ethnicity to general backgrounds so everyone from the students to the faculty and staff go all across the board in hair preferences, so there is never much pressure to be relaxed or natural....thankfully. I am relaxed but frequently rock braids, kinky twists etc. and I don't see that it has hendered my success levels in the workplace at all.

 

[Determined22]

Right. I think we have to keep in mind that - 75% of Black women use permanent means for straighteninig their coils and curls.....This is viewed as 'no threat" Only 25% of women wear hair devoid of chems, but.............We don't see many of them... That also depends on the region. My trip to the south this spring - showed my NOTHING but straight hair. I was sticking out like a sore thumb!

During my Corporate career, the questioning never stopped. Appalling and overwhelming. Most people cannot handle that type of rascist abuse on the job( can you wash your hair? can I touch it? etc etc....). I could not handle it. Another reason for leaving corporate america FOREVER.


No matter who the Nazis are..............
The billion dollar industry tells us that STRAIGHT is what people desire.
I am not down on anyone for that.
I wore relaxers for 20 years... and DEMANDED Straight hair....every 6 weeks.

It is what it is.

This is an age old discussion. The Eurocentric standard of Beauty is pervasive.
Our First Lady is relaxed.....for a reason people.

I recently went natural, and surprisingly I've had ZERO pressure to straighten my hair. Maybe it will come later, I don't know.

So far only one person has made an ignorant comment about my hair, and it was my mom's friend who I can't stand. I've gotten more compliments from White people than Black. I work in the defense industry, which is very conservative and White male dominated, and I didn't receive any type of backlash or weird comments/questions. There are several Black women on my site who wear their hair in its natural state though. Being in Orlando I see lots of ladies in various natural hairstyles, and that was one of the things that encouraged me to transition at all, because I kept seeing beautiful natural hair all around me.

 

[lilyofthevalley]

In general most strangers are not going to step up to you and tell you that your natural hair looks like ****. That's a given. Hence why you'll generally hear this stuff from friends and family.

That being said, I've noticed that attitudes about natural hair are changing. I have a friend who was constantly telling me to relax my hair. Well, just recently, she called me up to tell me that she's going natural and needs help to transition. Given the amount of negativity this girl expressed towards me when I went natural, I never thought I would see the day when she wanted to go natural. So even staunch relaxer Nazis are capable of changing their minds.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Nope. I was as 4BBBZZZ as you could get. I was relaxed then natural for two years, relaxed for one year and back to natural for 7 more years. Never got harassed on the job or in public (maybe 'cause I'm cute ). In fact, I reached the pinnacle of my career in corporate america with natural hair (and no, I did not press it).

I relaxed again last year, not due to any outside pressure. Just a personal choice.

Here is my opinion. You get what you give out. If you feel like people will harass you or think lowly of you, they will. Sorry.

I don't think lowly of my self at all, so I am not sure what the statement implies.
I am glad that your experience as a Natural Corporate american has been positive.

You would be in the minority. There is a great deal of scholorship and personal experiences noting very different expereinces.

 

[*Muffin*]

Relaxer Nazism, in my humble opinion, is prevelant in people who still believe in the whole "good hair bad hair" deal. They believe that if you have natural hair that's not and loose and curly that you need to get it "laid". I've heard them before. They'll relax their kids hair at ridiculously young ages because they feel that their hair looks "a mess". It is very wrong and is how a lot of people were brought up believing. Some people will even feel like they are helping a natural out by going up to them and recommending a relaxer or stylist that can "fix their hair". Just because someone has natural hair doesn't mean they have to "fix it". There is nothing wrong with anyone's God-given hair texture. Likewise, just because a person relaxes their hair doesn't mean they hate themselves or they want to be white/non-black. To me, as long as you are taking good care of your hair and your hair appears healthy, I can't be mad at you .

 

[Aviah]

I agree with some of the posts here, I find sometimes that when you have that self confidence, people take to that and want to compliment you. At the same times there are people out there who really do not care what vibe you give out, according to them you MUST relax. I also find it to be true from family, with a cousin of mine telling me (paraphrasing) "You have more Indian in you than black, what's with these black hairstyles?" (My family's a number of races, with her looking more Indian than most of our family, and I had my Afro out that day). Not to mention my mom told me only yesterday "there's a relaxer in the bathroom". I know they don't mean anything deeply offensive by it, but the mentality is still there...
I also find when I'm out at school, (a predominantly white area) I get compliments on my Afro, not matter how jacked it is some days...

 

[Aviah]

Relaxer Nazism, in my humble opinion, is prevelant in people who still believe in the whole "good hair bad hair" deal. They believe that if you have natural hair that's not and loose and curly that you need to get it "laid". I've heard them before. They'll relax their kids hair at ridiculously young ages because they feel that their hair looks "a mess". It is very wrong and is how a lot of people were brought up believing. Some people will even feel like they are helping a natural out by going up to them and recommending a relaxer or stylist that can "fix their hair". Just because someone has natural hair doesn't mean they have to "fix it". There is nothing wrong with anyone's God-given hair texture. Likewise, just because a person relaxes their hair doesn't mean they hate themselves or they want to be white/non-black. To me, as long as you are taking good care of your hair and your hair appears healthy, I can't be mad at you .

I totally agree with this.

 

[Kay.Dee]

I can admit that there are extremists on both sides, but it bothers me that if you've had a few run ins with relaxed enthusiasts, that their response was warranted because of your own doing.
No, believe it or not, some people are that bold! I'm not saying that naturals get attacked everyday,all day as soon as they step outside, but you can't discredit someone else's experiences.

 

[taz007]

I can admit that there are extremists on both sides, but it bothers me that if you've had a few run ins with relaxed enthusiasts, that their response was warranted because of your own doing.
No, believe it or not, some people are that bold! I'm not saying that naturals get attacked everyday,all day as soon as they step outside, but you can't discredit someone else's experiences.

I somewhat agree. However, you can take the response, internalize it and become bitter.

Or, you can let it roll off your back and keep steppin'. I have chosen the latter.

And... I am choosing to step right on out of this thread.

 

[Kay.Dee]

That's true, but don't leave, not trying to start an argument.

Personally, I don't bother people when it comes to hair unless they ask me. Other than that, I'm too obsessed with my own. But comments are irritating, but it's true that it's better to let them roll off your back, no need to harbor any hatred.

 

[Evolving78]

Nope. I was as 4BBBZZZ as you could get. I was relaxed then natural for two years, relaxed for one year and back to natural for 7 more years. Never got harassed on the job or in public (maybe 'cause I'm cute ). In fact, I reached the pinnacle of my career in corporate america with natural hair (and no, I did not press it).

I relaxed again last year, not due to any outside pressure. Just a personal choice.

Here is my opinion. You get what you give out. If you feel like people will harass you or think lowly of you, they will. Sorry.

i disagree. i don't give off anything. folks are very intrigued by my hair, especially yt folks. i get questions all day long and i attend cosmetology school. they touch pick at it, make all types of sugestions, ask how do i get my hair to be that way, how do i wash it, etc... black people always comment on my hair and how it is something they couldn't do with their own hair.

i am happy that you think you are cute and nobody has bothered you about your hair. maybe it might just be luck. and that is my opinion.

 

[JinaRicci]

I really wish the interpretations of hair style choices would stop. But to be fair, certain hairstyles have been linked with different religions, views etc. Having relaxed hair doesn't mean self-hate and being natural doesn't have to be about some black power, rebel with a cause movement.

I chose to be natural not so long ago just to try something different and I was comfortable enough to do so without caring about what other ppl thought. Still it annoyed me when people would say 'So, what are you going to do with your hair?' And I would reply 'Nothing, this is it.' People are either bold enough or rude enough to ask questions that I would consider impolite, but we're not all raised in the same households.

IMHO, the views from society in general on our hair choices will change when we start changing- when we start accepting each other. Not only us ladies but our men too. It won't be everyone of course but at least in general we can get to that point of respect. It will take time-yes but more than anything it's going to take exposure- as more women openly embrace & flaunt the choices- natural or relaxed that they have. When being relaxed is not default but a choice.

We do have a problem with accepting natural hair- let's not sweep that under the rug. The views may be different based on your family bkgrd or where you live but it's a problem. It's why ppl can be so bold to call a perfect stranger 'nappy' and mean it as an insult (sorry for your experience msa). I hope women like Michelle O. can help with some of that exposure. Someone mentioned that she is relaxed but I think she is natural- gets pressed- they wrote up her regimen in a beauty mag some time ago. But even if she were relaxed, the exposure as a bw- on a national level would still help- all of us.

 

[DeepBluSea]

Personally, no one ever said anything negative to my face about my natural hair, but I do get the "It would be so long, if you pressed it comments." or they say "I can't do the natural thing. I need to have my hair done." So there is general perception that natural hair is not as put together as relaxed or straight hair. They don't get ugly or say it in a mean way. They just say it.

 

[exoticmommie]

When I went natural, twice, (I am relaxed again), I had no one attacking me or saying negative things about my hair. Most were supportive and gave me compliments. That being said, I was not around the majority of my family (most live out of town including me). Now for my grandmother, when she went natural the only person harassing her and bothering her about her hair, and when she was gonna relax it again was her husband (my step grandfather), and I made it a point to tell her she looked good. Regardless of what he said.

to MSA, girl you need to get the heck outta whatever part of California you in, that place sounds so anti-black it ain't even funny. It's obvious to me why you have such a strong personality, you have to over there, or people will break you down...

 

[msa]

to MSA, girl you need to get the heck outta whatever part of California you in, that place sounds so anti-black it ain't even funny. It's obvious to me why you have such a strong personality, you have to over there, or people will break you down...

LOL. Very true though. I have to love on myself hard to make up for all the negativity. I live in Los Angeles, grew up in private schools with all white people, and I'm dark skinned with natural hair and nowhere near a size 2. Lets just say, I've always stuck out and many times been criticized for it. The standard of beauty here is so jacked up in so many ways so I just like to do my part to counteract the negativity.

I find it interesting that we are so quick to throw blame on each other though, and not look at ourselves. I try my very best to extol the positives of natural hair whenever it comes up but I don't put down relaxed hair while doing it. I wonder how many people with relaxers can say the same?

 

[Poranges]

LOL. Very true though. I have to love on myself hard to make up for all the negativity. I live in Los Angeles, grew up in private schools with all white people, and I'm dark skinned with natural hair and nowhere near a size 2. Lets just say, I've always stuck out and many times been criticized for it. The standard of beauty here is so jacked up in so many ways so I just like to do my part to counteract the negativity.

I find it interesting that we are so quick to throw blame on each other though, and not look at ourselves. I try my very best to extol the positives of natural hair whenever it comes up but I don't put down relaxed hair while doing it. I wonder how many people with relaxers can say the same?

Not Many girl we have a natural hair hate in our community and we really need to get over it. We're always expecting other people not to look down on us if we could only stop being color struck and looking down on ourselves.

 

[audacity.]

*sigh*
my post from the other "nazi" thread...

i just don't understand why some people find it so important to make what's going on on someone else's head their business...

 

[gymfreak336]

*sigh*
my post from the other "nazi" thread...

I know girl I know....

Hate hate exists on both extremes and just because you are natural, doesn't mean you don't have hair "hate" issues. In the end you can only be responsible for the hair on your head.