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This HAS to be Child Abuse!

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LadyBlu

LadyBlu

New Member
OMG Ladies!!! Today I went to get my hair texlaxed at the Dominican Salon in preparation for my 2008 Hair Journal. Well, my stylist was finishing up on a client when I arrived.

OK this child could not have been more than 5 or 6 (cute as a button, BTW) and I was like:eek: as I watched her get her hair done! Her ear length 4B hair was relaxed stick straight, and she was blowing it out (with the 5,000,000 degree blow dryer). I watched in horror as this little girl was cringing in pain as she got her hair blown out (I cringe in pain! That puppy is HOT!!!) So naturally, the little girl starts to cry and reaches out for her mother. Her mother proceeds to yell at her "Shut up! That doesn't hurt! It's going to hurt worse when I whip your butt!"

I was boiling inside. I wanted to get up and tell mommy dearest that it is uncomfortable to get your hair blown out, and this is only a little girl. Then mommy forces the child to hold her head still while the stylist hot curled her hair (yes, after the super hot blow out). She literally had the girl's face in her hands forcing her not to move. Mommy then proceeds to complain about how she doesn't know why she spends her hard earned money on the child just for her to "cry like it hurts"

I had to walk out for a minute! First of all, I couldn't understand why she would put her child through such a harsh hair regimen (the child will be bald by 10) and then yell at her for crying when she was obviously in pain. Then I was like...why would you make this little princess look so grown? The final style was twists in the front and like a rod set in the back (only done with a curling iron!!!!!!!!!!). A cute ponytail would have been more age appropriate in my opinion. But that's just me.

I dunno. Maybe I was over reacting, and she wasn't my child, but GOODNESS!! It has taken me all day to get over the trauma of watching that little girl suffer like that. Thanks for letting me vent!
 
I hear you....
Its hurts just to read about it. And people wonder why women of color have such poor self esteem. It starts early.........
 
nappity4b said:
I hear you....
Its hurts just to read about it. And people wonder why women of color have such poor self esteem. It starts early.........
Click to expand...

Yea...I agree. No child really needs a hair style like that at 5 or 6. That's stupid. Some people don't know how to work with their childs natural hair, and others just don't like its look. I've heard people tell me they don't like the natural hair looks on a child.

It was child abuse. Poor baby...:nono:
 
OK. I'm glad I wasn't trippin. I don't have kids yet, but I would never relax my childs hair that early. I got a relaxer for my 13th birthday! Nothing is cuter to me than a little girl with a part down the middle and two big ol afro puffs. I wanted to say ma'am...have you heard of braids? What black child didn't wear them?
 
I'm really glad I wasn't there because I don't know if I could have held my tongue. That made me sad to read. I feel so sorry for that little girl. :sad:
 
Man that's krazy and unheard of!! I blame the mom AND the hairdresser!! They know they should have done a cute phony pony on that girls that was all curly and somr twists in the front so the girl wouldn't have to sit long and so she could swing her hair in the wind like a lil princess lol. That lil mess she got prolly won't even last!! Some Parents today!! :sad:
 
She is wrong for that. The people in the salon should have refused to do that to a girl so young. They are also wrong.
 
nappity4b said:
I hear you....
Its hurts just to read about it. And people wonder why women of color have such poor self esteem. It starts early.........
Click to expand...


Extremely well put.... I know I would have said something. cause I know how that thing burns when they blowing out your hair.. ouch...poor baby now why should she like her black hair when she has been terrorized at such a tender age....:nono:
 
I whimpered and mde a scene whenever anyone touched my 4z hair until I was around 18. As a little girl I have pics with half of my hair plaited and half in a sraight out afro because my dad couldn't take it and he would stop the show. The little girl may have had the same reaction regardless of what was being done to her hair.
 
Cichelle said:
I'm really glad I wasn't there because I don't know if I could have held my tongue. That made me sad to read. I feel so sorry for that little girl. :sad:
Click to expand...

ITA. I would have been very upset too. To the OP, you are not over-reacting at all.
 
Dang shame. That heat hurts by big self, let alone a child. This is why I promised myself that I am not going to do that too my children, male or female.
 
I would have said something I can't help it. I know that mess was hurting. I can't stand to see a child being abuse. They stylist knew it was hurting as well she is just as much a jerk as the mother. I can't stand that I bet the mother was young very young know it all. Okay I am not going to get started. I am going through that crap with my sister in law. I think she is very abusive towards my neice. But mostly verbally still its awful. my neice is only five years old.
 
gymfreak336 said:
Dang shame. That heat hurts by big self, let alone a child. This is why I promised myself that I am not going to do that too my children, male or female.
Click to expand...
I agree with this as well and i will stand by that . My dd will not go through these treacherous methods for the sake of "beauty". Lord please let my dd grow up understanding that natchal is just as beautiful as relaxed. Hopefully she will grow up to believe/understand that it is even more beautiful.
 
I won't go back to a Dom salon because I'm afraid, too! That's definitely abuse - it's painful and IMHO, NOBODY should go through that for the sake of style or straight hair. That ish herts!!!:burning:
 
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I know how the child feels, because even though my stylist is gentle with my type 4a/b hair, it still gets tangled while he's blow drying it. I have to admit that it hurts even though he uses a detangler.

The mother needs to be spoken to as well as the stylist. So sad . . . indeed.:naughty:
 
I understand how you felt. Some parents are very sadistic. Do not care in the least what they put thier children through. It is hard to stand by and watch.:sad:
 
That is why people think of us the way they do because of crap like that. That is completly barbaric. Poor baby.I would have said something. I worked several years as a Child Counselor. I say something to people all the time. I had a walmart incident where this woman in the store with all of her kids like 1am in the morning. The littlest one all of about 1 or 2 was crying. (obviously past bedtime). Well she kept yelling at him and telling him to shut up. He would get quiet and after a few minutes start again. She then told him to shut his mouth or she was going to put her fist in his mouth and knock his teeth out. I said from where I was about 5ft away. I wish you would hit him. I will call CPS on you so fast. He is just a little child and it is 1am and he is sleepy. That seemed to settle that, I saw them a little later in the store and all the kids were settled and just being kids. She was obviously getting her rocks off by hitting and threatening her kids. But wasnt doing it anymore after I confronted her. I dont mean to go on about it but I see women beating the crap out of their kids, I mean slapping them in the face at about 1years, and spaking the crap out of thier legs and back. That is not necessary for a baby, these children are like 1-3 years old. I havent had any negative feedback from it. Sometimes people need a adult check to see what it looks like to other people. She has obviously seen other people doing this to their kids and thinks that it is okay. In the long run defending a small child and also making the mother think twice about doing it again.
 
The real shame is that the poor child's mother rejected her when she was in obvious pain and needed comforting! That little girl will be terrified everytime she has to go past a hair salon- fearing that she'll have to get her hair done.
 
StellaB said:
That is why people think of us the way they do because of crap like that. That is completly barbaric. Poor baby.I would have said something. I worked several years as a Child Counselor. I say something to people all the time. I had a walmart incident where this woman in the store with all of her kids like 1am in the morning. The littlest one all of about 1 or 2 was crying. (obviously past bedtime). Well she kept yelling at him and telling him to shut up. He would get quiet and after a few minutes start again. She then told him to shut his mouth or she was going to put her fist in his mouth and knock his teeth out. I said from where I was about 5ft away. I wish you would hit him. I will call CPS on you so fast. He is just a little child and it is 1am and he is sleepy. That seemed to settle that, I saw them a little later in the store and all the kids were settled and just being kids. She was obviously getting her rocks off by hitting and threatening her kids. But wasnt doing it anymore after I confronted her. I dont mean to go on about it but I see women beating the crap out of their kids, I mean slapping them in the face at about 1years, and spaking the crap out of thier legs and back. That is not necessary for a baby, these children are like 1-3 years old. I havent had any negative feedback from it. Sometimes people need a adult check to see what it looks like to other people. She has obviously seen other people doing this to their kids and thinks that it is okay. In the long run defending a small child and also making the mother think twice about doing it again.
Click to expand...

Wow Stella! I wish more ppl out there would speak up like you did. :yep: That mom deserves to get her kids taken away, as does the mom in the OP.
 
I hate to see parents forcing their kids to get these styles for their own convenience. I held out as long as I could for my daughter's relaxer (relaxed at age 9). I also wanted her to WANT the relaxer, so she wouldn't be resistant. Luckily, our desires coincided, so when I got her hair relaxed she had already been begging for years for straight hair (which was impossible without a hard press on her 4z hair). She has never been burned and she loves her relaxer.

I have seen at least 2 kids get forced to get styles - one was a very young boy getting a trim. I think the vibrating razor scared him. The mom could have held his hand and soothed him, but instead she found it more prudent to yell and threaten him with a spanking if he didn't sit still. :nono: The barber was absolutely unmoved. :rolleyes:

And then another around 6 year old girl went through a similar experience that the OP described while getting a relaxer. IIRC, the relaxer was burning but it wasn't time to take it out. Scenes like that tear your heart out.
 
StellaB said:
That is why people think of us the way they do because of crap like that. That is completly barbaric. Poor baby.I would have said something. I worked several years as a Child Counselor. I say something to people all the time. I had a walmart incident where this woman in the store with all of her kids like 1am in the morning. The littlest one all of about 1 or 2 was crying. (obviously past bedtime). Well she kept yelling at him and telling him to shut up. He would get quiet and after a few minutes start again. She then told him to shut his mouth or she was going to put her fist in his mouth and knock his teeth out. I said from where I was about 5ft away. I wish you would hit him. I will call CPS on you so fast. He is just a little child and it is 1am and he is sleepy. That seemed to settle that, I saw them a little later in the store and all the kids were settled and just being kids. She was obviously getting her rocks off by hitting and threatening her kids. But wasnt doing it anymore after I confronted her. I dont mean to go on about it but I see women beating the crap out of their kids, I mean slapping them in the face at about 1years, and spaking the crap out of thier legs and back. That is not necessary for a baby, these children are like 1-3 years old. I havent had any negative feedback from it. Sometimes people need a adult check to see what it looks like to other people. She has obviously seen other people doing this to their kids and thinks that it is okay. In the long run defending a small child and also making the mother think twice about doing it again.
Click to expand...

Excellent point! I applaud you!
 
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