Too traumatized to let your hair down?

[LongiLox]

Does anyone else feel that they're too traumatized to let their hair down, given all the things we've learned about protective styling? I relaxed my hair about a week ago and I've worn my hair down about four times (mainly for a few hours each time) since then. I'm just a little past APL right now and I'm so happy with my hair, but I feel like I can't enjoy it due to fear of ruining my progress.

Even when I reach my goal length of MBL I think I'd be too afraid to wear it down for fear of having it slowly creep back up to shoulder length. Does anyone else have this fear? Are we doomed to wear protective styling forever?

 

[Simply_Kelz]

I was for a minute. I'm over it now. As long as your still moisturizing your ends frequently and DC'ing, there's no reason why you shouldn't retain length, let alone, having your hair break back off.

 

[poetist]

Yes, my hair is really fine and when I got my hair pressed, I could hear the ends snapping when it would get caught in my clothes or other things. I have to make sure that I wear silk tops, I guess...

 

[LongiLox]

Yes, my hair is really fine and when I got my hair pressed, I could hear the ends snapping when it would get caught in my clothes or other things. I have to make sure that I wear silk tops, I guess...

Oh yes. I have fine hair too. Whenever I wear my hair down, I either wear tops with spaghetti straps or a silk/satin top.

 

[poetist]

Oh yes. I have fine hair too. Whenever I wear my hair down, I either wear tops with spaghetti straps or a silk/satin top.

Good idea. I guess I can also do strapless tops too. Thanks

 

[Kari107]

I feel like that too sometimes. Then I tell myself whats the point in working so hard to grow the hair if I just gonna keep it hidden. I just make sure that I don't have it down too often and keep taking care of it then there shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Yes - whenever I venture to wear my hair down I'm always paranoid when it gets caught on things. I'm at that dangerous "just-beyond-shoulder-length-but-not-quite-APL" phase . . . .

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

Nope, I wear my hair out for half of the month and wear protective styles for the other half. I refuse to keep my hair under lock and key. As long as I keep it sufficiently moisturized, DC when I need to, I don't feel the need to always wear protective styles and my hair is doing just fine.

But then again, my hair grows up so I don't have to worry about it rubbing on my clothes, but I do have to beware of signs and what not when I get on the train, or they will just snag my hair out, so sometimes I have to be kinda stragetic about where and how I sit

 

[PinkSkates]

Absolutely Not!
Life is too short to be worrying about my hair snapping off if its worn down. As long as I take care of my hair properly, keep a balance of moisture/protein, and don't abuse heat, then I will continue to wear my hair down as often as I want to.

 

[LongiLox]

I feel like that too sometimes. Then I tell myself whats the point in working so hard to grow the hair if I just gonna keep it hidden. I just make sure that I don't have it down too often and keep taking care of it then there shouldn't be a problem.

It's so funny, now that you mentioned that, I remember that one of my non-black friends told me when I first started my journey, "I feel like you're probably going to keep wearing your up hair even when it gets long anyway". I was so upset and annoyed when she first said that; now that I think about it....

 

[Paradox]

Does anyone else feel that they're too traumatized to let their hair down, given all the things we've learned about protective styling? I relaxed my hair about a week ago and I've worn my hair down about four times (mainly for a few hours each time) since then. I'm just a little past APL right now and I'm so happy with my hair, but I feel like I can't enjoy it due to fear of ruining my progress.

Even when I reach my goal length of MBL I think I'd be too afraid to wear it down for fear of having it slowly creep back up to shoulder length. Does anyone else have this fear? Are we doomed to wear protective styling forever?

I thought I was the only one like thiserplexed
I can't wear my hair down hardly ever anymore, because I think about my hair rubbing against my shirt, if it is too hot I think about the sun burning it, if it is too cold I think about the wind drying it out. The environment is just to harsh.
Before I even knew about hair care, I wore my hair in buns everyday because it was a puffy mess. In retrospect I know that despite my horrible hair care practices, the fact that I wore it in buns probably saved my hair.

 

[Pheonixx]

Naw...

Black hair ain't THAT fragile. LOL
And if it is, well---thank god mine ain't!

I'm not really into protective styling.
If I do 'protective styling' it's USUALLY because I'm feeling pretty lazy.

Anywho--it was never wearing my hair down that caused the problem.
It was heat and dry hair that caused me to break.
​

 

[jamaraa]

It's so funny, now that you mentioned that, I remember that one of my non-black friends told me when I first started my journey, "I feel like you're probably going to keep wearing your up hair even when it gets long anyway". I was so upset and annoyed when she first said that; now that I think about it....

What they told you is true for many. For me, it's not about breakage but heat. I can't stand to be overheated. It's like when it's a certain length, what CAN you do w/ it? LOL

 

[jamaraa]

If you're not enjoying your hair, what's the point of all this drama to grow it out? Some people just prefer to keep it up, but if you wanna wear it out, do so w/o guilt. It is only hair and lie is short.

 

[LongiLox]

What they told you is true for many. For me, it's not about breakage but heat. I can't stand to be overheated. It's like when it's a certain length, what CAN you do w/ it? LOL

I've learned to style my hair without heat. I can do straight or curly styles without putting heat in my hair. I feel like when your hair is longer, it's easier to manage or style it without even bothering with heat.

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I am going through this now.

I got a fresh relaxer and when she flatironed it it was so pretty and bouncy and...

I kept thinking about putting it up in a bun.

I am going to wash my hair tomorrow and I really want to set it and wear it down on Monday...but I'll be wearing a polo type of shirt and...

I'll probably just throw it up in a bun.

 

[Akemi]

I feel that way. I'm afraid of one day realizing that all of my hair broke of because I didn't protective style sufficiently.

 

[lilsparkle825]

i am with LadyKay and pinkskates on this one; i am not growing my hair so it can be hidden all the time. i might be more into protective styles at this point but once i hit APL it will be out and about all the time. now i still do things like keep my hair up when i am at home lounging, and wear my bonnet when sitting on the sofa, but i think all that talk about wearing my hair down and watching it all break off is nonsense, as long as i keep it moisturized and use heat sparingly. the blowdryer is what i am more afraid of.

 

[jamaraa]

I've learned to style my hair without heat. I can do straight or curly styles without putting heat in my hair. I feel like when your hair is longer, it's easier to manage or style it without even bothering with heat.

When I said "heat", I wasn't referring to styling. Long hair can be hot and heavy. When the hair is loose, it can feel much hotter and heavier than when it's up. That's why you see people w/ locks or long braids wearing tams. Believe it or not, it's actually cooler even w/ the hat on.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

I'm not traumatized but I've grown accustomed to wearing my hair up. It's only down on special occasions.

 

[hothair]

Not traumatized per se, more lazy, even when I've got weave/ extensions I hardly wear them down unless I'm socialising, you have to maintain the look, and I'm lazy, I can leave my house in the morning and not check my hair till I'm about to go to bed, so I figure I'll be the same with my hair...

 

[Lyoness]

I only tend to let my hair down on nights out, if I do it in the day I try and make sure my ends wont rub against the top I'm wearing.. I'm at an awkward length so I can't do any better for now.. When I'm bsl I'll leave it down as much as poss!

 

[TLC1020]

I used to be terrified when I first reached APL, but this whole summer I wore my hair down. The only thing I can say is not wearing my hair up, I haven't reached BSL yet . In a couple of weeks I will be back to bunning again.

 

[LongiLox]

I am going through this now.

I got a fresh relaxer and when she flatironed it it was so pretty and bouncy and...

I kept thinking about putting it up in a bun.

I am going to wash my hair tomorrow and I really want to set it and wear it down on Monday...but I'll be wearing a polo type of shirt and...

I'll probably just throw it up in a bun.

You can try adding extra moisturizer and oil to your ends.

I used to be terrified when I first reached APL, but this whole summer I wore my hair down. The only thing I can say is not wearing my hair up, I haven't reached BSL yet . In a couple of weeks I will be back to bunning again.

So you think wearing your hair down has hindered your growth?

 

[TLC1020]

You can try adding extra moisturizer and oil to your ends.


So you think wearing your hair down has hindered your growth?

I wore my hair down this whole summer, I didn't retain that much length as I normally do when I wear it in a bun for the same time period. I don't know, my hair could be in its resting stage I mentioned that I was going to start wearing my hair in a bun in a couple of weeks, I actually started today .

 

[Butterfly08]

When I said "heat", I wasn't referring to styling. Long hair can be hot and heavy. When the hair is loose, it can feel much hotter and heavier than when it's up. That's why you see people w/ locks or long braids wearing tams. Believe it or not, it's actually cooler even w/ the hat on.

It's in the 90's in Florida right now and hair on my neck makes me want to whack it off. I'm in a bun right now! I'm 1 inch above BSL and wearing it down is fun for a couple days but before long I'm feenin' for the bun again.

I used to be between BSL and MBL and I wore my hair down A LOT and it didn't break off until I chopped it down to a layered collarbone length. So yes with proper care, wearing your hair down frequently can be done.