What age do you relax a childs hair???

[NikStarrr]

Huh? You are kidding right?? erplexed Is there not enough proof on this board that women can have beautiful long relaxed hair jus like women can have long natural hair? I seen too much proof to think otherwise. If a mother is educated enough about haircare little girls can have long relaxed (or natural) hair too..jussayin.

Not only that, what if DD gets to an age and she decides she doesn't want long hair? I wonder if ppl will also refuse to let their kids get their hair cut too. Like a 15 year old will have no say in how they want to wear their hair??? It sounds like a lot of people will be pushing their own complexes on their kids. lawd.

 

[IMFOCSD]

Hilarious to see so many people say relaxed hair is not that deep when as a culture we suffer from self hatred issues rejecting the way our features are naturally created. Whoever heard of an entire culture of women using harsh chemicals to alter their natural hair so that it looks like something it's not to the point where the hair that comes out of her scalp is an anomaly to others, and yet the messages we send to each other and our children reinforcing the rejection of our features is 'not that deep.'

Hilarious, and disgusting, to me, but each their own, I guess....

I highly doubt that any of the bolded comes to mind when a mother decides to relax her childs hair...and I highly doubt that a child associates getting her hair relaxed with self hatred or my mom hates my hair etc..Self hatred from a child comes from how the child is being treated at home mainly and how they are being talked to.

As little girls grow up they do go through certain insecurities that may have them not liking certain things about themselves..ie, boobs not big, too skinny, too fat and hair can be a reason also whether its relaxed or natural thats why its the mothers and other family members job to help her understand where beauty really comes from and also make her feel beautiful at all times.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

I highly doubt that any of the bolded comes to mind when a mother decides to relax her childs hair...and I highly doubt that a child associates getting her hair relaxed with self hatred or my mom hates my hair etc..Self hatred from a child comes from how the child is being treated at home mainly and how they are being talked to.

As little girls grow up they do go through certain insecurities that may have them not liking certain things about themselves..ie, boobs not big, too skinny, too fat and hair can be a reason also whether its relaxed or natural thats why its the mothers and other family members job to help her understand where beauty really comes from and also make her feel beautiful at all times.

This is what I dont get. How can you just, boom, feel self hate and have low self esteem if your mother gives you a relaxer? Nothing else is included in this? Not the way the child has been spoken to, not the way the child has been treated, not the childs environment, nothing to counteract what society says that black people are, nothing like that fits into the equation? Just a relaxer is the sole cause of this? Come on mayne.

 

[Kash]

That's because every other race of women already has straight hair. Yeah some ethnicities of white have curly hair, but no other ethnicity has hair that looks like ours. Instead of rocking it, we choose to make ours look like theirs instead.[/QUOTE]


Thank you!!! Folks know damn well Caucasian, Asian, Hispanic etc...mothers are not at the beauty supply buying nappy perm chemicals so their little girls can have nappy, kinky hair!

 

[Nix08]

My mom gave me a relaxer as a child. I have no idea when it was, I don't recall why and I certainly didn't and don't feel lesser than/self hate/like a wanna be as a result. I agree a little much is going into this....I think we come to like certain styles and seek to achieve them.

 

[loshed]

When she gets a job and pays for it herself. Outside of applying caustic chemicals to a child's head and the self-esteem issues another problem with relaxing young is these children grow up with zero experience with natural hair. When they have their own girls they're way more likely to also relax them than someone who knows how to take care of natural hair. This is setting up a cycle of relaxer dependence and a lot of time these second and third generations are getting relaxed way younger than they should because parents feel overwhelmed by the naps.

 

[Nix08]

^^ This wasn't my experience...I don't remember ever doing my own natural hair but have totally educated myself on how to care for my dd's natural hair.

 

[smoothie696]

That's because every other race of women already has straight hair. Yeah some ethnicities of white have curly hair, but no other ethnicity has hair that looks like ours. Instead of rocking it, we choose to make ours look like theirs instead.[/QUOTE]


Thank you!!! Folks know damn well Caucasian, Asian, Hispanic etc...mothers are not at the beauty supply buying nappy perm chemicals so their little girls can have nappy, kinky hair!

Really??? Hispanics??? You realize there are more black Hispanics than those born anywhere else outside of Africa right. 8.2 million African slaves were taken to Latin American versus the 200,000 to the US.

 

[qchelle]

I hear you but I don't agree. Whites do the same thing. Bleaching their hair blonde in huge masses, wearing colored contacts, weaves, tanning, butt, and lip injections. Getting a relaxer has nothing to do with self hate and if you want to call it that than every race experience self hate since we all alter ourselves in one way or another. It amazes me how closed minded people can be on this subject. It's like if we don't see it "your" way we the crazy ones. Really??? Umm ok. Once again we don't have to agree and everyone is not. But why the harsh judgments and assumptions???

Just because white people do it doesn't mean it's okay.

*promising self that I won't respond to this thread anymore*

I love how this thread has devolved into stating statistics

 

[pocketbookgal]

If we really want to keep it 100 with the kids then you would educate your daughter that she is a decendant of the orginator of all makind. So her kinky hair made straight hair somewhere along the line. So as a people we need to stop bashing kinky curly or straight because black folks started it all (yep I said it) so by having straight relaxed hair it makes them no less hating on the race that invented it all! Cmon. The whole chemical vs non chemical thing I can see the concern but because you decide to relax it ruins your self esteem? Really????!!! I think that the whole hair typing/relaxed vs natural thing is there to seperate us more because a least the relaxer was an equalizer as far as the european standard is concerned. No matter what your natural texture was everyones hair was the same. Now 3a vs 4b etc etc and white folks can judge who is whiter and who is blacker so to speak. So now there is a new way instead of light or dark to keep us apart! This hair thing is becoming the new paper bag test. Smh!

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[Roux]

this is just hilarious. some hit dogs up and through here. this could be related back to a myriad of other topics with parents trying to do extreme things to change their children for their own benefit and it would be wrong but somehow this is perfectly fine and you couldn't possibly imagine how it could deliver a negative connotation to a child since you're not explicitly telling them 'Look your tough ferocious negroidian naps are taking too much time out of the day, i'm going to give you a relaxer to make you look pretty'. Kids just aint that smart.

And I judge this like I judged my white neighbor for bleaching her 6 year olds hair. Just like I judged the woman that put her 10 year old on some chinese dieting pills. Like the women that try to bleach their children's skin. Judging every last one of em.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

this is just hilarious. some hit dogs up and through here. this could be related back to a myriad of other topics with parents trying to do extreme things to change their children for their own benefit and it would be wrong but somehow this is perfectly fine and you couldn't possibly imagine how it could deliver a negative connotation to a child since you're not explicitly telling them 'Look your tough ferocious negroidian naps are taking too much time out of the day, i'm going to give you a relaxer to make you look pretty'. Kids just aint that smart.

And I judge this like I judged my white neighbor for bleaching her 6 year olds hair. Just like I judged the woman that put her 10 year old on some chinese dieting pills. Like the women that try to bleach their children's skin. Judging every last one of em.

So if one doesnt agree with your opinion they are a hit dog hollering?

Only on LHCF!

 

[Roux]

you don't have to agree but let's call a spade a spade.

 

[IMFOCSD]

If we really want to keep it 100 with the kids then you would educate your daughter that she is a decendant of the orginator of all makind. So her kinky hair made straight hair somewhere along the line. So as a people we need to stop bashing kinky curly or straight because black folks started it all (yep I said it) so by having straight relaxed hair it makes them no less hating on the race that invented it all! Cmon. The whole chemical vs non chemical thing I can see the concern but because you decide to relax it ruins your self esteem? Really????!!! I think that the whole hair typing/relaxed vs natural thing is there to seperate us more because a least the relaxer was an equalizer as far as the european standard is concerned. No matter what your natural texture was everyones hair was the same. Now 3a vs 4b etc etc and white folks can judge who is whiter and who is blacker so to speak. So now there is a new way instead of light or dark to keep us apart! This hair thing is becoming the new paper bag test. Smh!

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I totally agree..especially with the bolded.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

you don't have to agree but let's call a spade a spade.

Well I call immaturity. Well when you have to resort to name calling when attempting to have a discussion.

 

[Roux]

Well I call immaturity. Well when you have to resort to name calling when attempting to have a discussion.

took that personally eh? hit dogs do holler.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

took that personally eh? hit dogs do holler.

Sorry girlfriend. I really could care less about what others think of my opinion. I just state it and keep it moving. Your opposing opinion dont phase me. But if it makes you feel better...Im hollering!!!!

Its still very child like to name all b/c people dont see things YOUR way.

 

[IMFOCSD]

I am smh & lol at anyone who associates relaxing hair with self esteem problems, self hatred and trying to be like another race. Usually little girls are wearing their hair in ponytails with barrettes or french braids with beads whether its natural or relaxed. Grown women are usually in wraps, updos or rollersets whether they are natural or relaxed...well idk how natural hair can be wrapped unless its straightened so i don't get it..its basically the same hair styles but only some chose to wear their natural texture while doing so and others choose to relax/texlax.

 

[CheLala13]

Education fail.

 

[mscocoface]

May I ask if she realizes if she doesn't have time to take care of her hair without chemical enhancement what makes her think that she will have time to take care of her hair with chemical enhancement?

 

[ashleymichelle1]

I personally wouldn't relax my childs hair. I'm expecting...idk if it's a boy or girl yet. But I will not relax my lil girls hair. The main reason being the chemicals. Im a health nut & i'm studying to be a holistic health practitioner...I don't put harmful things in or on my body and I wouldn't wanna harm my child. I'm pretty much an advocate for all things natural whether it's food or skin products. And the second reason is simply because I love natural hair...now if shes grown up (high school age) and she really, really wants a relaxer I would let her get one. I hope she won't ever want one honestly but i'm not gonna force her to be natural. But before she ever took the plunge to relax I would make her join this bored & study as much info as possible on how to keep her relaxed hair healthy and she would be paying for her own relaxers. Just MY opinion..

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

If she decides she wants to relax her hair in high school I will allow it. It's her hair. I did all kinds of nonsense to my hair as a teen. It's kind of part of growing up.

 

[EccentricRed]

I went to a natural/relaxed program some undergrads threw at my college, and about 10 girls mentioned that they were given relaxers at 4 or 5 years old...

 

[Boujoichic]

I have only one child a 5 mo old son and he is basically bald ( as was I as a baby lol)so I cant actually speak from experience but I believe I wouldnt relax my daughters hair until she was old enough and responsible enough to make the decision herself. I would just rather not take the chance of putting such a strong chemical on a young childs head. I would also like for her to be able to get to know and love her natural hair. I was relaxed around seven and I could only vaguely remember what my natural hair was like.

Honestly I remember seeing naturals as a child and my perception was that their hair was ugly and nappy. I dont know why I thought this way I certainly cant say for sure getting a relaxer made me think this way but Im hoping that if my daughter sees me enjoying my natural hair she will see the beauty of it and enjoy hers as well.

 

[mischka]

So you are putting the weight of our cultural ills on your daughters head?

why not

you know what they say

i believe the children are our future

 

[IMFOCSD]

I honestly feel that if a woman decides to relax her childs hair...thats fine and if she does not decide to relax her childs hair...thats fine also. No need to pass judgement or be negative. When/if the mother feels she made the wrong decision she can always transition the child back to her natural hair...just like we as grown women do. I feel that everyone here on LHCF has enough knowledge to acheive and maintain healthy hair whether its natural or relaxed.

 

[ashleymichelle1]

If she decides she wants to relax her hair in high school I will allow it. It's her hair. I did all kinds of nonsense to my hair as a teen. It's kind of part of growing up.

I agree with this. I did all types of mess to my head in high school...blonde hair, purple hair, weave, braids...my hair eventually broke off because I had no idea how to care for my hair and neither did my mother lol. I wouldn't do any of that to my head now, especially using all the chemicals. But I will admit it was fun to experiment..

 

[Kash]

I have only one child a 5 mo old son and he is basically bald ( as was I as a baby lol)so I cant actually speak from experience but I believe I wouldnt relax my daughters hair until she was old enough and responsible enough to make the decision herself. I would just rather not take the chance of putting such a strong chemical on a young childs head. I would also like for her to be able to get to know and love her natural hair. I was relaxed around seven and I could only vaguely remember what my natural hair was like.

Honestly I remember seeing naturals as a child and my perception was that their hair was ugly and nappy. I dont know why I thought this way I certainly cant say for sure getting a relaxer made me think this way but Im hoping that if my daughter sees me enjoying my natural hair she will see the beauty of it and enjoy hers as well.

Thank you for your honesty on this subject; its quite refreshing.

 

[gcchick_07]

If we really want to keep it 100 with the kids then you would educate your daughter that she is a decendant of the orginator of all makind. So her kinky hair made straight hair somewhere along the line. So as a people we need to stop bashing kinky curly or straight because black folks started it all (yep I said it) so by having straight relaxed hair it makes them no less hating on the race that invented it all! Cmon. The whole chemical vs non chemical thing I can see the concern but because you decide to relax it ruins your self esteem? Really????!!! I think that the whole hair typing/relaxed vs natural thing is there to seperate us more because a least the relaxer was an equalizer as far as the european standard is concerned. No matter what your natural texture was everyones hair was the same. Now 3a vs 4b etc etc and white folks can judge who is whiter and who is blacker so to speak. So now there is a new way instead of light or dark to keep us apart! This hair thing is becoming the new paper bag test. Smh!

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SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOS what you are saying is, we should all just relax our hair so that white people can't tell any difference between us negroes and that will end all discrimination. and somehow, being natural and letting them KNOW what our hair REALLY looks like is somehow detrimental?

i see i see i see.

i was relaxed so young i didn't know what my hair looked like till i was 21 years old. to me, that is odd. unless you are born blind, there is no excuse for that. i wouldn't put my children through that. most other children (and i went to a predominantly white school from kindergarten to high school graduation, i'm talking 80% white) of other races do not get their hair permanently processed till at LEAST junior high. i dunno who's tell you you all lies. a WOMAN bleaching her hair is NOT the same as her doing it to her child also.

 

[finickyone]

I have only one child a 5 mo old son and he is basically bald ( as was I as a baby lol)so I cant actually speak from experience but I believe I wouldnt relax my daughters hair until she was old enough and responsible enough to make the decision herself. I would just rather not take the chance of putting such a strong chemical on a young childs head. I would also like for her to be able to get to know and love her natural hair. I was relaxed around seven and I could only vaguely remember what my natural hair was like.

Honestly I remember seeing naturals as a child and my perception was that their hair was ugly and nappy. I dont know why I thought this way I certainly cant say for sure getting a relaxer made me think this way but Im hoping that if my daughter sees me enjoying my natural hair she will see the beauty of it and enjoy hers as well.

My daughter is in 4th grade & the stories she come home & tell makes me sad. At this age little girls are calling each other nappy head & saying they need a perm. My daughter has thick 4a bsl hair that we mostly keep in braids or twists. She has major shrinkage so on the rare occasions that we do blow dry or flat iron she receives all types of compliments, even from her teachers. So at this age, the message that straight hair is better is already ringing loud & clear. She loves her hair now, but that hasn't always been the case. I always told her how beautiful her hair was & would often say what I would do if I had her thick & lush hair, but those words meant nothing to her. When I went natural she started appreciating her natural hair.

If my daughter wants relaxed hair, she can have it when she's old enough to take care of it herself. Her hair is a lot to deal with & she's lazy, so I will probably be her stylist until she leaves for college.