What Was Your Deciding Factor in Going Natural?

[arosieworld]

Honestly I didn't think I could go natural I just went bald instead.
I was sick of the chemicals and I wore so many wigs and weaves I thought "well, I look good bald and lace lets me do everything else so I'm done."
But then I had lurked here for years and this last birthday I thought I should try to actually grow hair. It was long when I relaxed and wore weaves but thin. I just never knew how to care for it so I just went for the easy route. I bought it. Now I am trying to dismantle years of thinking I had bad hair that would never look pretty while natural. At least I never thought it wouldn't grow, my hair had always grown like a weed. Before I found the joy of wigs I had to get relaxed every 2 weeks and my weave tightened all the time.

 

[Nonie]

Honestly I didn't think I could go natural I just went bald instead.
I was sick of the chemicals and I wore so many wigs and weaves I thought "well, I look good bald and lace lets me do everything else so I'm done."
But then I had lurked here for years and this last birthday I thought I should try to actually grow hair. It was long when I relaxed and wore weaves but thin. I just never knew how to care for it so I just went for the easy route. I bought it. Now I am trying to dismantle years of thinking I had bad hair that would never look pretty while natural. At least I never thought it wouldn't grow, my hair had always grown like a weed. Before I found the joy of wigs I had to get relaxed every 2 weeks and my weave tightened all the time.

I too think you look sizzling hawt bald. If I thought I could convince you to rock that bald head (no weaves, no wigs), I'd implore you to go that route. I hope you have at least a framed portrait of you looking like that first pic in your siggy. A painting of you would even be better!

 

[LovinLocks]

It's easiest to NOT fight nature. Goin' wid what God gave me.

 

[arosieworld]

I too think you look sizzling hawt bald. If I thought I could convince you to rock that bald head (no weaves, no wigs), I'd implore you to go that route. I hope you have at least a framed portrait of you looking like that first pic in your siggy. A painting of you would even be better!

Thank you!
A painting is a good idea, I do want to remember the look. But really, I'm too shy and too lazy to be bald. Its hard work! You have to have really a perfect makeup application and you feel sort of on stage. Which I like at times but over-all I felt like too many people were lookin at me and everyone wanted to say something. Even though it was mostly a compliment I am not really comfortable talking to strangers on the street. I like to look more unapproachable I guess. I felt exposed I need to hide behind some hair. erplexed

 

[glamazon386]

I remember in a thread about a year ago, I professed that I never intended on going natural. I have since changed my mind.

I said this once upon a time ago myself. It'll be three years next month since I last had a relaxer.

Can you share your experience with me? Were you scared too? Were you pleasantly surprised or did your hair disappoint you?

I want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly.

I know this is long but I hope this helps you with your decision.

I never really decided that I wanted to go natural and consciously transitioned so maybe that's why I didn't get that initial shock. I never felt scared. What happened was I started stretching my relaxers because I was in school and couldn't get it done on a regular basis. I wore mostly half wigs, braids, buns, etc. I didn't really manipulate my hair much. I would wash and DC it once a week and let it airdry and then put it away. I didn't really have any problems dealing with the two textures so I just kept going with it as long as I could. So I went from 8 weeks, to 10, to 12, to 16, and before I knew it I was at 22 weeks (about 6 months). I caved at 6 months the first time because my mom offered to pay for me to get my hair done for Easter so I let the Dominicans relax my hair. It turned out fine but afterward I wished I would have just let them blow it out for $22 and pocketed the rest of the money . That was my last relaxer.

I wore my hair mostly in a wash and go styled weave for the rest of the summer and by then my texture started to show through (I had scab hair new growth a few times when I stretched. I remember trying to tame beady bead edges quite a few times but I didn't have that problem later on and don't now.) so I just rolled with it. I got braids once the summer was over and didn't like them so I took them out after like 4 weeks. I had no clue what to do with my hair at that point so I just went into my bathroom with some scissors and before I knew it my hair was on the floor. I BCed after I reached about 5.5 months post relaxer and I haven't looked back since.

I will honestly say this - it was never something that I thought I would do. The thought did cross my mind a few times but I never felt like HEY I WANT TO GO NATURAL plus I wasn't even 18 at the time so I didn't really have a say in what happened to my hair because I wasn't paying for it's upkeep. There also weren't many people around me that were natural so I didn't see it as a viable option. I was on a college campus and only saw maybe a handful but that was almost 7 years ago so I'm sure there are a lot more naturals now.

If I had thought about it, I would have kept my hair braided all 4 years and transitioned like that until graduation. But my 2nd semester of my freshman year I had braids done with cheap synthetic hair (via my cousin.now I know better) and they ate 2 years worth of progress up. I had my hair cut my junior year of high school into a short cut with the back tapered and it had grown out nicely to past my shoulder with bi-weekly hair appointments. I wore a sew in weave most of my first semester with no problems. I think I took it out and relaxed around Thanksgiving.

I think after having to lose all that hair and then continously having problems with my hair for maybe the next 2-3 years from multiple stylists trying to put their hands in it and correct the damage and overprocessing from using different perms, techniques, corrective relaxers, etc. (my stylist had went out on maternity leave and I was left to bounce around until I found somebody I liked) it was pretty much a hot a$$ mess and I was fed up. It did turn around the last year once I started taking care of it myself but by then I was over it so I cut it all off. I wanted to start over fresh.

My hair has pleasantly surprised me and as it grows out I learn new things about it at each stage. It doesn't look the way I envisioned but as it gets longer it's changing. I have not had any problems with maintaining it. My routine is not that much different than my relaxed hair was. I still wash, deep condition and air dry once a week. I still use a lot of the same products. It's much easier to handle than I initially thought it would be. My hair isn't long yet, so I may retract that statement at a later date. But for the most part, it has been a breeze.

I have thought about texturizing/relaxing here and there mainly because I'm at an awkward length and it seems the longer my hair gets, the more it shrinks. Most people end up returning to relaxing because of knots, and tangles as well as shrinkage but I rarely get knots and tangles. I have since learned ways to manipulate it to minimize shrinkage and that has curbed my thoughts about relaxing. That's the only real issue I have. I do hate that my hair is thin/fine but there's nothing I can do about that. It's in my genes.

I will admit that styling can be a pain sometimes. Some styles can be a long drawn out process if you don't want to use heat or sit under the dryer. I recently started blowdrying because sometimes could take me all day to wash, dc, twist it so it can dry stretched out, wait for it to dry, then retwist or rebraid to set my style, then wait for it to dry in the set, then take it out and style it finally. I will admit that gets on my nerves sometimes. So I don't wear those styles that often. If I had it my way my hair would be in a wet bun everyday but it's not long enough yet without adding hair. Sometimes I don't have time to do all that. But I honestly believe when it gets longer that's how it will end up everyday.

 

[bermudabeauty]

hair growing down my back and the middle piece of my hair ain't long enough to roll with rice. And I love curly hair. I always wear my hair curly...so why not just wear my natural hair.

 

[glamazon386]

The bad is...honestly, there is no bad. I know that's hard to believe, but it's true. Compared to my relaxed hair, my natural hair isn't easier or harder, it's just different. My hair was thick then and it's thick now, so there are those issues, but that's not specific to me being natural.

I feel the same way. It's like apples and oranges. Neither one is better or worse just different.

 

[snillohsss]

my reason was simple...

I wanted curly hair. I will be honest and say that I don't think I could go natural if I had to do a BC. I wore weaves for about 2 years, and cut off my relaxed ends bit by bit. When I got the weave, I had a short relaxed hair cut, so I wasn't loosing a lot of length by cutting of my relaxed ends.

When I got out of the weave, I was about an inch past neck length so I decided to stick with it. I found LCHF the day I took my sew in out, so I was educating myself from the beginning.

 

[Paris Belle]

I always knew I'd go back to being natural but I didn't have a timeline in mind. I knew my natural texture because I didn't get a relaxer until I was almost 13. And the only reason I did that was so that I could wear my hair out and do it myself. In hindsight, I should have just started getting press-n-curls, but I wasn't as informed about them then---and my mother hated them.

I was relaxed for years but finally decided to go natural after two years of dealing with a vicious cycle of underprocessed-corrective-overprocessed relaxers. I literally had sections of my hair that were straight-then wavy-then straight. When it was underprocessed, it was almost texlaxed and I really liked it like that but due to academic/social pressure decided to do a "corrective" (my stylist did it) and it just started that vicious cycle. I switched perms and either they were too weak or too strong. Nothing was working. So I transitioned.

My transition was great for the first 7 months. I did lots of wash-n-gos and pretty much wore it in a bun or braid/twist out. I cut the relaxed ends off slowly, one inch every month or so. But by month 9 it was a hot mess and I wasn't ready to BC yet. So I started wearing braids and that was great. I did the BC when my natural hair was shoulder length (stretched).

The good: My scalp always feels great. I used to have to do weekly hot oil treatments in order to get my scalp to feel half as good as it does now. I can be really lazy when it comes to styling or even conditioning it. My hair retains more moisture now and isn't as dry so I don't always sit under the dryer with the conditioner. Wash days as a result are a lot shorter than they were when I was relaxed.

The bad: The shrinkage. Makes me want to holla! LOL. My hair is a little past the top of my bra strap now and yet it looks like it's only to my shoulders. I'm still adjusting to that. Also I thought my hair was all one texture and it's really not. I have some 2s and 3s mixed in together and maybe even some of 4 in the front. I'm not sure anymore so I don't bother classifying my hair like that anymore.

It also took some time to figure out what products my hair liked. Some of my staples no longer worked on my natural hair. Some of the products I hated on my relaxed hair are great on my natural hair. The best products for natural hair are often very expensive. And lastly on wash day you spend more time styling your hair but it lasts longer. So it may take me a few hours to twist my hair but it lasts for about 5 days..

The ugly: Sometimes I miss wearing my hair straight. I can see someone with a nice relaxed do and I miss having my hair like that. But then I remember that I can get it that way. Also when I'm having a bad hair day, I'm having a bad hair day! Nothing is going as it is supposed to and it's pretty hard to hide unless I wear a wig or something. And since I don't it can be frustrating. On those days, I seriously contemplate texturizing my hair just so it will look better and 'act better.' But then I remember the chemical burns and dryness the relaxer caused and I backtrack from that.

 

[Evolving78]

i was just done with chasing the creamy crack and walking on egg shells trying to take care of my hair. i never went through a transitioning period. when i am done with something i don't hold on, i just let it go and move on. i was never scared either. didn't really see anything to be scared about. i never had that feeling that some people have about not being able to deal with their natural texture or will they like their texture, or think it is ugly.

 

[oooop2]

I too think you look sizzling hawt bald. If I thought I could convince you to rock that bald head (no weaves, no wigs), I'd implore you to go that route. I hope you have at least a framed portrait of you looking like that first pic in your siggy. A painting of you would even be better!

You took the words right out of my mouth!!!!

 

[veggiegirl314]

I was sick of the burns on my scalp from the relaxer. I was sick of breakage and damaged hair. But most of all, I had never seen my natural hair before, and I was REALLY curious.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I have always loved natural hair, but I had no idea how to handle natural hair. I relaxed and BCD 8 times due to frustration because I did not think I was capable of being natural. After my last relaxer application when I got multiple scalp and neck burns, I decided to transition and learn how to handle some natural styles. I am still not great at twisting, but I can do some flat twists. I also learned how to flat iron my hair thanks to some you tube videos. I am hoping that I can learn more about my natural hair and hoping that I can finally learn how to braid and cornrow my own hair.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

my hair never took a relaxer, and it always came out underprocessed. It still took the same amount of heat to straighten it. So I decided to just chop it all off.

 

[pmichael52172]

Great Thread!

Like Black Hoya Chick, I want long hair, healthy hair and relaxers have been sloooowly thinning my hair. Overlapping was nearly unavoidable, so retention was impossible.

 

[jennboo]

Deciding factor(s)?

I was not one of those women who transitioned simply because the relaxer ate my hair up. Actually, my relaxed hair was very beautiful...thick and a nice length (toot, toot, LOL). I was known in high school as the girl with the nice hair, always got compliments, people questioning my ethnicity . I went to dominican salons faithfully every two weeks...my hair thrived when it was relaxed...It grew from a slightly-above- ear- length blunt cut bob to blunt armpit length in like 7-8 months.

Also, i'd never had bad experiences with burns and whatnot, my stylist was very skilled, cared about health rather than style..

But...

-I truly felt that it wasn't me

-I wanted to stop putting the chemicals on my hair/scalp. Everytime i sat down in the stylists chair to get a touch-up, I always thought to myself 'why am i doing this?'

-Whenever i'd had a significant amount of new growth and was in "need" of a touch-up, my new growth always looked and felt sooooo much better than my processed hair.

-I was tired of looking/being like every other black woman I saw

-I absolutely adore two-strand twists and afro puffs...big hair in general. When i was in college and was contemplating the transition, i stalked fotkis (v-merie, babyblue, ayeisha, a few others) because their two strand twists were sooo beautiful. I thought to myself, 'Self, twists are a style made for your natural hair, YOUR natural hair, you don't need to covet the style...you can achieve it yourself, LOL"

-It got to the point where i didnt find straight hair as attractive anymore

-Its healthier and it's ME

Also, when i transitioned, i didn't do it to necessarily make a "political' statement, 'prove' my blackness. However, i did continue to ponder the motivations, black woman's complacency with the straight hair ideal (please no one argue with me about my opinion on this, lol...it can get taxing).

The bad?
-I honestly can't think of anything that i dislike or would consider "bad" regarding my hair.

 

[TaraDyan]

Why did you decide to go natural?

I went natural for several reasons, but mainly two: my scalp and the thinning of my relaxed hair. My poor scalp has been abused throughout the years from stylists using super strength relaxers on it repeatedly, so it finally rebelled HARD in late 2006 / early 2007. It got to the point where I would get horrible scabs even when I used mild relaxers and was thoroughly based. I finally caved in and listened to my poor scalp and stopped with the chemicals. Also, my relaxed hair had gotten progressively thinner throughout the years. It didn't used to be, but it thinned as I got older. Since I love big curly hair, that just wasn't gonna fly with me, so off I went to transition.

Can you share your experience with me?

Sure. I transitioned for 18 months by doing lots of co-washing and bunning. Once a month, I would get my hair straightened to check my length and just switch up my style. Yep ... I went through 18 months of basically looking like a librarian.

Were you scared too?

Nawww ... not even a little bit. It got to the point where I was literally counting down the days until I could big chop.

Were you pleasantly surprised or did your hair disappoint you?

I was genuinely surprised at how coily it was. Seriously ... each clump of curls looks like a Slinky. I had no idea that was going to happen.

I want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good: Everything! I've always loved big, curly hair and I honestly think my features support that look better than straight hair.

The Bad: Shrinkage is a mutha ... but I have learned to live with it and look at it in a positive way. I can go from short, neck length hair to APL hair fairly easily. Just put a positive spin on it.

The Ugly: Honestly, there is nothing ugly about my natural hair, no matter what anyone says! Hmph!

 

[jennboo]

I re-read the original post and saw that i hadn't really answered the questions, lol.

Can you share your experience with me? I transitioned by just...not getting a relaxer (stretching, no heat applied to new growth, no special concoctions/hairstyles to protect my relaxed length, LOL. I KNOW I looked a H.A.M. when i was transitioing...the processed hair had gotten short, broken-off, scraggly. I didnt even care about the straight hair, all attention and nurturing was given to the new growth. My then bf didn't mind, still thought i was hot, lol) When spring came around, i had my mom chop off my relaxed hair.

Were you scared too? I was not scared, more like excited and happy.

Were you pleasantly surprised or did your hair disappoint you? I have thick, dense, 4b hair. What's not to love? I knew what my natural hair looked/felt like bc i'd been natural for a long while...i was in 10th grade when i slapped the relaxer in.

I want to hear the good...already touched on some of these things in my previous post.

the bad..now that i think about it, the only bad thing about my hair are others negative perceptions about it.

 

[morehairplease]

Hey sweetie,

Congrats on going natural! I have big chopped/went natural 3 times as a result of horrible salon/relaxer experiences. The deciding factor for me each time was that my hair just could not be saved from the salon fiasco's and it had to be cut. Each time I got my hair shaved, I would say to myself stick with it b/c being relaxed is just not for you. I have never had good/great relaxing experiences for some reason. My hair is either under or over processed, sometimes even both, and is never ever the way I want it to be. I can never seem to find a stylist that is professional and cares about the health of the hair. Hopefully, I will be able to stretch my hair for 4 months and get braid extensions and transition for the rest of the year. I plan on following the crown & glory method for a year, if not longer. I wish you nothing but the best with your journey love!

 

[chocolate01]

I went natural simply because I no longer had an urge to relax my hair. It was not a difficult decision for me, I just made it and kept it moving. I transitioned for about 11 months and chopped. I wore my hair in rollersets and twistouts a lot to blend the two textures. My transition was pretty easy because I had a goal that I was excited and focused on. I actually inspired my mom, aunt, and a few friends to stop relaxing as well.

 

[Oasis]

Why did you decide to go natural? I saw a pic of me when I was a kid with an adorable puff and that got the wheels turning. Then I stumbled upon nappturality and I decided to transition immediately. There were no second thoughts or anything, it just felt right.

Can you share your experience with me? I transitioned for 5 1/2 months before I BC'd. My hair was dry, crunchy, frizzy, just an overall hot mess. I was so overwhelmed and confused I got my hair completely shaved off a month later. I rocked a Caesar for a few months before I started growing it out again. Once it got to be about an inch long I put kinky twists in and wore those until my hair was at a length I was comfortable with. I mostly leave my hair in protective styles and because of that I'm still not sure how to deal with it because I avoid doing it. I still absolutely love it though.

Were you pleasantly surprised or did your hair disappoint you? I wouldn't say my hair disappointed me but, honestly, I wasn't expecting it to be this coarse. I knew I wasn’t going to have big curls or anything but the coarseness was unexpected.

Good: Incredibly versatile, beautiful, I look better with it, don't have to worry about rain, can wash as much as possible, and don't have to pay others to do it. Did I mention it’s beautiful?

Bad, Ugly: I so much as look at it and it tangles. Very frizzy and prone to dryness.

 

[Nayna]

My story is similar to a lot of the ladies, it just started to get on my daggone nerves! Lol, my hair was btw APL and MBL but it was fine, I tried everything I could to get it fuller, nothing worked, so I used to do wash and go's often because it waved up nicely when wet, so one day me and a group of friends were going to an amusement park and one of my friends decided she wanted to do a wash and go as well but her hair curled up from midback to chin length and I was like how the heck did ur hair do that, and she told me she didnt have a relaxer, and I was in shock cus her hair was ALWAYS bone straight and healthy, so I figured why not me, the relaxers didnt improve anything, I hated getting them because they burned me in less than 5 minutes, no one thought I would do it because I always rocked a fresh doobie, I played no games, lol
the only downside I suppose would be knots but its pretty minor
my hair isnt exactly fuller I used to relax every 3 months so my new growth never bothered me, but it feels better and it feels like there's hair on my head, I love it, lol, there is just no need for me to relax

 

[ycj]

Honestly for me I just could not handle the two textures, so I had to make up my mind either continue with the relaxer or cut it off and start over. I chose the latter.

 

[Harina]

I have always been a braids and relaxer girl. I would braid my hair for a little while, then relax it. I did this all through High school. Then I went to college, where this didn't work out so well. The school I go to (in a very rural town) had one salon in the neighborhood for black women run by yt folks. They were overpriced and I don't think I've ever had anyone other than a black woman touch my head. Originally, freshman year my plan was to keep synthetic braids in for two months. Take them down and relax at the salon. When I found out about the situation in the salon above, I decided to leave the braids in until the end of the semester. When I got back home, I said whatev took down the braids and cut off the relaxed ends. I had so much new growth. Even then though, I still was planning to relax once college was over. But now after joining this forum and the fact that my hair was getting so long and is genuinely healthy. I have decided to keep it this way. I tain't never looking back.

Pros: Diversity, Thickness ( I have a lot o hair) , rich black Color, Don't feel like I'm turning my back on my true self. Not knocking ladies who relax, but if my hair was mean't to be bone straight, then it would be bone straight, you know. Positive comments from other people.

Cons: Dry (getting better though at retaining moisture which then means retaining length),it's a bit tangly, not as lowkey as braids, now I've got to really put some effort into styling my hair. Rude comments from other people. Oh well.

 

[IrrationalThoughts]

I first went natural when I was 10. I had a jheri curl and I couldn't stand the mess. I made my dad cut it off and I was natural for maybe 1 yr. My mother did not like combing my hair because it was 'rough' and I cried a lot.

Then I was natural off an on in college. I would relax, then cut it off and repeat. My hair never grew well with the relaxer, it always broke off. Finally I shaved my head and grew my hair out for about 1.5 years, then grew locs.

Going from relaxed/curled hair to natural was never scary for me, I guess I was young and it didn't really matter much. What was scary was cutting my locs, after 7 years. I hadnt seen my natural hair loose in such a long time and I was nervous to have short hair becuase I thought my head was big. Now I seem to do a mini BC every 6 mo becuase my ends are forever dry and thin.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I had over processed - jacked up hair. period. There was just no saving it.

I read "No Lye" and left the world of relaxers - November 1998....

Now I realize that relaxer touchups are like 95 bucks....
WAAAA?Nope. I will stay nappy.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

got pregnant and didnt want to relax
I saw I wasn't reaching my goal while relaxed

 

[Essensual]

I looked at the thickness, health and length of my 2 DDs and I thought,

"My hair use to look like that once...."

I had gone back and forth between relaxed and natural. But that day I decided that was it. May 20, 2003. Haven't always had the best regimens though--I'm just starting to get that skillset down pat.

 

[Filmatic]

I never even thought of going natural until I came to this site. I tried to transisition once and it didn't work so I relaxed. The thing is, relaxers really don't do much for me. My hair usually reverts back then in 2 weeks I have NG again.

I am also a color addict. I'm working on it. I love to change hair color(this also lead me to weaves). Well last year I wanted my hair like Megan Goode's so I kept dying it brown and when I saw the breakage I didn't stop(yes I knew better). Like I said, I have a problem.

Long story short, my hair was breaking and I had a talk with myself. I had to pick one chemical and I chose dye of course. I also made a promise to get my color done professionally all over and only touch up at home.

I transitioned for 3 months and got tired of using my good con on that stringy breaking relaxed hair, so I finally looked and the mirror and decided to cut. I haven't seen my natural hair since 5 and my hair hasn't been this short since I was a toddler. I want to enjoy this.

I thought my head would be to big, but as I have been looking in the mirror this week, I actually look good. You can see my features so clearly now.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Why did you decide to go natural?

I got tired of others determining my fate and didn't want to apply a relaxer myself. Plus I just was diagnosed with Grave's Disease and my thyroid was making my hair super weak anyways so I didn't want to risk it and did a big chop.

Can you share your experience with me?

See above. Basically I big chopped and haven't looked back...though sometimes the longer I get, the more I have to fight the urge to relax because of time constraints. My brain always wins though...so far and I stay natural.

Were you pleasantly surprised or did your hair disappoint you?
My hair only dissapointed me because it was so brittle from Thyroid disease, after I got that under control with deep conditioning, and medicine, I felt like I climbed a mountain. I was just happy to have HAIR.

Good:
Peace of mind knowing I control my fate (do I sound like a control freak? ha!), Peace of mind...peace of mind. Also my hair is thick and healthy. I just looked at Curly Nikki's site and there are so many gorgeous things that can be done with my hair. I just feel so much inspiration knowing I can wear it curly or flat iron it straight.

Bad, Ugly:
TIME. The longer it gets...and it's so thick, it makes me want to BC or relax and be done with it. But then I remember why I did it in the first place.