When is the time to Leave Weave Alone?

[LadyPaniolo]

Spinny....

OK, so we were talking about long haired ladies wearing wigs and weaves in another thread.
What do you ladies think? When is the cutoff for hair that is too long to be hiding under a wig or weave? Or do you think that regardless of length, you should wear your own hair out?

I know I wore my natural hair in a TWA for a few months after my BC down to a single lonely inch of hair. Then I switched to the Crown and Glory Method using braids and then wigs. I certainly have been conflicted over using fake hair in the past, but I'm currently braided up under my wig. I probably will be for at least another year or so.

What have you done with your protective styling, do you feel conflicted with the use of fake hair, and how do you feel about other women's use of fake hair? Does it matter if a woman's hair is long or short when considering if she should use weave?

Lets Discuss!

 

[LadyPaniolo]

bump! nobody has an opinion on this?

 

[Janet']

Yeah...I think that it's really "to each his/her own" kind of deal...I personally don't wear weaves or wigs but I do not knock the next lady that does. I will be honest though, I could see that people (outside of LHCF) would be curious as to why you would wear a wig when you are WL already.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Personally, I dont like weave.



BUT if I were to wear it, I would only do so until my real hair was where I wanted it to be.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Sure, everyone is free to do their own thing, that's how I feel about it as well.

"Curious" is one way to put it lol. There are a few men in my town who look downright disappointed when they see me rocking a synthetic wig lol. But whatever, my primary goal is to get to classic length, and wigs help me get there.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Sparkling Flame, I understand what you are saying. When I get to my goal length I won't wear wigs either. Of course, I have some difficulty fitting my hair under a wig these days, and it would probably be impossible to fit it under a wig at classic length, so I won't have the option to do it anymore.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Sparkling Flame, I understand what you are saying. When I get to my goal length I won't wear wigs either. Of course, I have some difficulty fitting my hair under a wig these days, and it would probably be impossible to fit it under a wig at classic length, so I won't have the option to do it anymore.

I fell in LURVE with the Mommy Wig and I almost convinced myself to get one. Then I laughed and thought "Who am I kidding??? Aint no WAY I can get all this hair under there and pass this wig off as my own hair!"

I had to pass on it.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Yes, SF, you do have a :notworthy head of hair! :lovedrool: I bet you *could* fit it under the Mommy wig if you really wanted to. You would have to cornrow your head in a snake pattern, as though you were about to get a full head sew-in weave. The parts would have to be teeny tiny. Then, the long "tail" in the back can be wrapped around your head before you put on your wig cap. It CAN be done!

 

[tatiana]

My wig/weave history: I have never wore a weave. I did braids twice in my life. I have only wore a wig once out in public.

It is not that I dislike wig/weave but I find it annoying to be honest. I have know women for years and I have never seen their real hair. I have not seen my own mother's real hair in over 15 years. Yes her hair is long but she no longer have any edges, so what is the point? She is to addicted to them now.

Unless you are in the entertainment industry, have a huge bald spot, or have an illness, wigs and weave should only be worn three months out a year.

 

[Janet']

Sure, everyone is free to do their own thing, that's how I feel about it as well.

"Curious" is one way to put it lol. There are a few men in my town who look downright disappointed when they see me rocking a synthetic wig lol. But whatever, my primary goal is to get to classic length, and wigs help me get there.

Yes! Trying to be ahem PC and all! In all honesty, I can say that I don't mind weaves and wigs nearly the way I used to frown (yes, frown- shame on me) upon them pre-LHCF....What I really can't deal with is chewed up hair, whether it be relaxed, natural, real, or fake...In ATL, I've seen it all and I think that many times, bad weave/lacefronts mess it up for all weave/wig wearers...Is it right? Nah, but...

 

[Ediese]

I think it depends. I felt like it was time to stop with sew-ins after I reached my goal. I wanted to be able to focus on the health of my hair more, so it didn't make any sense to keep going.

I'm wearing wigs now for three reasons:
1) Wigs give me more control over taking care of my hair (moisturizing everyday, not placing heat directly on my real hair, etc).
2) I can decide to wear my real hair at any time. As soon as I hit my garage, the wig is taken off. lol
3) Sometimes I'm too lazy to be bothered with my real hair. That's the biggest reason right there.

What have you done with your protective styling, do you feel conflicted with the use of fake hair, and how do you feel about other women's use of fake hair?

When I started my hair journey and decided to use weaves to accomplish my goal, I didn't feel conflicted at all. I made a decision that I would wear it to help me reach my goal.

I don't really think about anyone elses use of fake hair. I'm sure we all do it for a different reason. I'm only concerned with my own. I think it's sad sometimes though to hear women say they'll wear weaves/fake hair until they die. That was me a few years ago. I felt like I needed it to look pretty/presentable. I think it takes a lot to change this mindset. Wearing it as a protective style or even as a great hairstyle to add length, color, different style, etc is cool. Having an unhealthy dependency on fake hair is totally different. I think I made my turnaround after I joined BHM/LHCF and saw what was possible. If people don't know better, they generally can't do better.

ETA: it's always funny when I hear other's comments about those wearing weaves, especially when the weave/wig wearer has healthier/longer hair than the person talking.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Yes, SF, you do have a :notworthy head of hair! :lovedrool: I bet you *could* fit it under the Mommy wig if you really wanted to. You would have to cornrow your head in a snake pattern, as though you were about to get a full head sew-in weave. The parts would have to be teeny tiny. Then, the long "tail" in the back can be wrapped around your head before you put on your wig cap. It CAN be done!

See, doing all that there is why I didnt buy it! Maybe one day I can get somebody, my cuzzo perhaps to braid it up for me.

Thanks BTW!!

 

[LadyPaniolo]

My wig/weave history: I have never wore a weave. I did braids twice in my life. I have only wore a wig once out in public.

It is not that I dislike wig/weave but I find it annoying to be honest. I have know women for years and I have never seen their real hair. I have not seen my own mother's real hair in over 15 years. Yes her hair is long but she no longer have any edges, so what is the point? She is to addicted to them now.

Unless you are in the entertainment industry, have a huge bald spot, or have an illness, wigs and weave should only be worn three months out a year.

Thanks for posting. Why 3 months, as opposed to 4, for example? Do you mean the wigs should be reserved for winter use only? I know I *refuse* to let these dry Arctic winters snap off my hair!

 

[LoveLongLocks]

I love wear weave; sew in's, braids, wigs. Ppl always assume that it is my hair. I get asked why don't I just wear my hair, and do not understand the concept of protective styling when my hair is already long.
Doesn't bother me to wear it or not, or for other women to. I will one day not rely so much weaves, but I prefer to have hair that is styled. So, it is best for me to style fake hair often - as opposed to mine. I want to reach my goal, and sometimes just need a break from worrying about my hair.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I think it depends. I felt like it was time to stop with sew-ins after I reached my goal. I wanted to be able to focus on the health of my hair more, so it didn't make any sense to keep going.

I'm wearing wigs now for three reasons:
1) Wigs give me more control over taking care of my hair (moisturizing everyday, not placing heat directly on my real hair, etc).
2) I can decide to wear my real hair at any time. As soon as I hit my garage, the wig is taken off. lol
3) Sometimes I'm too lazy to be bothered with my real hair. That's the biggest reason right there.

What have you done with your protective styling, do you feel conflicted with the use of fake hair, and how do you feel about other women's use of fake hair?

When I started my hair journey and decided to use weaves to accomplish my goal, I didn't feel conflicted at all. I made a decision that I would wear it to help me reach my goal.

I don't really think about anyone elses use of fake hair. I'm sure we all do it for a different reason. I'm only concerned with my own. I think it's sad sometimes though to hear women say they'll wear weaves/fake hair until they die. That was me a few years ago. I felt like I needed it to look pretty/presentable. I think it takes a lot to change this mindset. Wearing it as a protective style or even as a great hairstyle to add length, color, different style, etc is cool. Having an unhealthy dependency on fake hair is totally different. I think I made my turnaround after I joined BHM/LHCF and saw what was possible. If people don't know better, they generally can't do better.

Thanks for posting. Your progress with weaves led me to try sew-ins once upon a time, with unenviable results My DIY sew-ins were HAM City. That's why wigs work better for me, they are like a pre-made weave.

It IS sad when people feel they have no choice but to turn to fake hair. I am so glad I don't feel that way anymore. I LOVE my hair, and I want to protect it so I can reach my goal.

Co-sign big time on the ease of moisturizing etc if you are wearing wigs. That was another downfall of my limited weave experiences. I couldn't dry my hair thoroughly under the weave, no matter how thin I parted my hair for cornrows. I tried every pattern I could but no matter what it wasn't working. With the wig, I can dry my hair 100%, no problem.

And I don't have TIME to do my hair all the time either! Wigs are easy peasy.

See, doing all that there is why I didnt buy it! Maybe one day I can get somebody, my cuzzo perhaps to braid it up for me.

Thanks BTW!!

Ok, wigs aren't totally free from effort. But I will do all of that cornrowing once a month and then I'm free to DC, wash etc without any detangling or styling issues.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Yes! Trying to be ahem PC and all! In all honesty, I can say that I don't mind weaves and wigs nearly the way I used to frown (yes, frown- shame on me) upon them pre-LHCF....What I really can't deal with is chewed up hair, whether it be relaxed, natural, real, or fake...In ATL, I've seen it all and I think that many times, bad weave/lacefronts mess it up for all weave/wig wearers...Is it right? Nah, but...

lol, I appreciate your PC tone! I know some folks probably think I am crazy when they see my natural hair out and then see me in an obviously fake wig the next day. I'm sure most people think my real hair is chewed up, and then once they see that it is healthy they are shocked. It seems the overwhelming majority of people in "real life" DO equate fake hair with chewed up hair underneath :/ I know when I see a woman in fake hair, I think there is an 80% chance her real hair is not that healthy. And yes, I get the irony.

I love wear weave; sew in's, braids, wigs. Ppl always assume that it is my hair. I get asked why don't I just wear my hair, and do not understand the concept of protective styling when my hair is already long.
Doesn't bother me to wear it or not, or for other women to. I will one day not rely so much weaves, but I prefer to have hair that is styled. So, it is best for me to style fake hair often - as opposed to mine. I want to reach my goal, and sometimes just need a break from worrying about my hair.

Thanks for posting.

Yes, I am with you on minimizing the manipulation. I want to look styled too! I love my real hair and I know that if I am constantly flat ironing, blow drying or even combing too much my progress will be lost. People don't generally understand it once they think your hair is long. I remember a post on LHCF where a poster said her friend "claimed" she wore a wig to grow her hair out, but that the friend must be lying because her hair was APL. The poster concluded that her friend had some kind of mental hangup about her hair or some emotional trauma/low self esteem over her hair!

 

[JJamiah]

Never..... There is not time frame to each his/her own.

I enjoy wearing my lace fronts and really don't mind anyone elses view on it. I have hair under it that is well taken care of. I wear it for 2 weeks on and 1 week off with my own hair Protective styling and such.

I don't like Lace Fronts I LOVE IT! My fotki has pics of my hair but I am most happy with the Wig Wham PU!

If you like it I love it, If I like it, then to me it doesn't matter here nor there anyone elses issues with it.

Yes I also beehive braid my hair up under a mesh wig cap and it looks very nice

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Never..... There is not time frame to each his/her own.

I enjoy wearing my lace fronts and really don't mind anyone elses view on it. I have hair under it that is well taken care of. I wear it for 2 weeks on and 1 week off with my own hair Protective styling and such.

I don't like Lace Fronts I LOVE IT! My fotki has pics of my hair but I am most happy with the Wig Wham PU!

If you like it I love it, If I like it, then to me it doesn't matter here nor there anyone elses issues with it.

Yes I also beehive braid my hair up under a mesh wig cap and it looks very nice

I also use the mesh wig cap, one made for weaves. Wigs are so much fun! I can go from straight-laced and conservative to VaVaVaVoom! In 2.2 seconds! And with NO damage to My Precious :lovedrool: lol

I have to enjow it now, b/c at hip and classic the wigs won't work anymore, probably.

 

[tatiana]

Thanks for posting. Why 3 months, as opposed to 4, for example? Do you mean the wigs should be reserved for winter use only? I know I *refuse* to let these dry Arctic winters snap off my hair!

3 or 4 months, I guess it does not matter. I do think it is a nice PS. People can wear wigs anytime of the year; I think some wigs are cute. It is just when you are wearing wigs/braids/weave back to back with no breaks in between is when I think there is a problem.

My rant is more towards those with an unhealthy dependence where they see their edges disappearing and their own hair thinning and instead of taking a break they continue.

 

[JJamiah]

I also use the mesh wig cap, one made for weaves. Wigs are so much fun! I can go from straight-laced and conservative to VaVaVaVoom! In 2.2 seconds! And with NO damage to My Precious :lovedrool: lol

I have to enjow it now, b/c at hip and classic the wigs won't work anymore, probably.

EXACTLY I can switch up if I want and beat it up curl it flat iron it, twist it pin it and pull it and all a while my hair is so Protected and guess what, I don't have any bad hair days, it is always nice, and in record time. Love it!

Raggedy is Raggedy be it your own hair or someone elses!

 

[LadyPaniolo]

3 or 4 months, I guess it does not matter. I do think it is a nice PS. People can wear wigs anytime of the year; I think some wigs are cute. It is just when you are wearing wigs/braids/weave back to back with no breaks in between is when I think there is a problem.

My rant is more towards those with an unhealthy dependence where they see their edges disappearing and their own hair thinning and instead of taking a break they continue.

Oh, I see. Thanks for replying. Once it is damaging your hair or your self image, it's time to stop. I agree.
Winter is a time for hardcore wig use, imo, because it's the hardest on your hair.

 

[Austro-Afrikana]

I would never wear weave or a wig. I would absolutely hate it if I wore one and someone decided to ask "is that your hair?" because I would have to say "no".

Although they are protective styles they will always be associated with those who have "no hair" and I know I shouldn't really care what people think but I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me, especially now that I actually have hair...

 

[Sasha299]

Its up to each person. I don't judge someone for wearing weaves or wigs. I know I am interested in trying a weave, I own 2 wigs that I cannot get to look right. The most recent wig I have, beautiful with curls just like mine I had a mishap and I said no more. I was at the babysitters and DS was climbing all over me when he just reached up held on to my hair (wig) and went to launch himself over my shoulders - all 26 lbs of him. The wig ripped off (only held in by clips and pins cause I was too chicken to glue) and luckily I can laugh with my babysitter and at myself. We both fell out laughing and when I told my mom she was horrified at the thought.

I am going to try a weave next and gently teach DS not to touch my hair.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

EXACTLY I can switch up if I want and beat it up curl it flat iron it, twist it pin it and pull it and all a while my hair is so Protected and guess what, I don't have any bad hair days, it is always nice, and in record time. Love it!

Raggedy is Raggedy be it your own hair or someone elses!

Too true, chewed and raggedy is not a good look... which means sadly I will need to chuck out some of my beloved wigs b/c they are starting to look chewed up. Parting is such sweet sorrow...

Only thing crazier than a girl with healthy WL hair in a chin-length wig... is a woman with healthy WL hair in a raggedy chin-length wig!!!!

I would never wear weave or a wig. I would absolutely hate it if I wore one and someone decided to ask "is that your hair?" because I would have to say "no".

Although they are protective styles they will always be associated with those who have "no hair" and I know I shouldn't really care what people think but I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me, especially now that I actually have hair...

Thanks for posting. That is a definite downside of fake hair use, no doubt about it. You can tell folks you have long hair till you are blue in the face, but they won't believe it if you are wearing a wig. Sad but true, even my MOMMA thought I was BSing till I did a Big Reveal @ Christmas last year. Then she just pretended not to notice lol.

 

[Tiye]

It's time to leave them alone when you get tired of paying for them. This is kind of like asking when is it time to leave shoes alone. You're entitled to cover your head and keep it covered for the rest of your life if you choose to do so. I think people make a bigger deal about this online than in real time. I have relatives who've been wearing wigs for decades (their entire adult lives). And they do have plenty of hair including edges - the damage to the edges typically happens if you've been using glue. I've never heard anyone ask why they wear wigs - it's just part of their look.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Its up to each person. I don't judge someone for wearing weaves or wigs. I know I am interested in trying a weave, I own 2 wigs that I cannot get to look right. The most recent wig I have, beautiful with curls just like mine I had a mishap and I said no more. I was at the babysitters and DS was climbing all over me when he just reached up held on to my hair (wig) and went to launch himself over my shoulders - all 26 lbs of him. The wig ripped off (only held in by clips and pins cause I was too chicken to glue) and luckily I can laugh with my babysitter and at myself. We both fell out laughing and when I told my mom she was horrified at the thought.

I am going to try a weave next and gently teach DS not to touch my hair.

OMG! Yeah, I have little kids too and boy they just love to grab that wig and pull, esp as babies. DD is 4 months now and she stays grabbing my wig! I refuse to put glue on either, so I just grab her hand and pry each baby finger open to release the wig.

I remember a poster who was on a date and had her wig come off! The guy never called her back At least if your hair is long you can laugh it off more easily though... show them that WL braid hanging down and any clowning gets shut down with the quickness.

 

[Tiye]

OMG! Yeah, I have little kids too and boy they just love to grab that wig and pull, esp as babies. DD is 4 months now and she stays grabbing my wig! I refuse to put glue on either, so I just grab her hand and pry each baby finger open to release the wig.

I remember a poster who was on a date and had her wig come off! The guy never called her back At least if your hair is long you can laugh it off more easily though... show them that WL braid hanging down and any clowning gets shut down with the quickness.

^^ I know a good man is hard to find but if a man is that immature I just don't think it's a good idea to play along. It just seems like things will start bad and go to worse. Are you a woman or a braid of hair??

 

[LadyPaniolo]

It's time to leave them alone when you get tired of paying for them. This is kind of like asking when is it time to leave shoes alone. You're entitled to cover your head and keep it covered for the rest of your life if you choose to do so. I think people make a bigger deal about this online than in real time. I have relatives who've been wearing wigs for decades (their entire adult lives). And they do have plenty of hair including edges - the damage to the edges typically happens if you've been using glue. I've never heard anyone ask why they wear wigs - it's just part of their look.

At the bolded, if that was the standard, I would have BEEN off of wigs lol! DH takes being cheap to another level and he is far from pleased to shell out for a wig when his wife has hair down to her waist, lol.

I think you make a good point that for some people it's just an accessory, not a crutch. If all the wigs evaporated out of my house tomorrow, I'd wear braidouts and keep my hair in a bun or other updo to keep my ends from getting chewed. I wouldn't sob, collapse, or die. (Though I would be POd that all my lovely accessories were gone!) For someone who is truly ashamed of their hair and hiding it out of that shame, the loss of the wigs would be horrifying. That's when you know it's a crutch, when you think you can't do without it.

The people you are around make a difference too. If nobody in your social circle does fake hair, they may look down on you for doing it. Or if many do it, but they do it to cover a disaster on their scalp, you will be assumed to be doing the same.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

^^ I know a good man is hard to find but if a man is that immature I just don't think it's a good idea to play along. It just seems like things will start bad and go to worse. Are you a woman or a braid of hair??

Yeah, I hear you... you don't need to buckdance for a man.

Since we women mostly acknowledge that MOST wig wearers/weave users don't have the prettiest hair, we can understand how a man might think the same. You could simply chuckle, and explain that you do have long hair but you use wigs to PS as you wind your long braid tail around and replace the wig. A decent man would pretend not to be shocked or dismayed by the wig even if he secretly felt that way.

I wasn't saying a woman should be like "oh, PLEASE don't reject me My hair is nice I swear..." More like if he decides to talk smack and clown you, you can shut him up by showing the evidence and then delete his number.

eta: I hope the difference is clear... it's not desperate to preemptively explain your unusual use of a wig... but to be all begging for his acceptance is

 

[cocoaluv]

When is the time to leave the weave alone?





NOW.


*runs outta thread*