Woman in salon pissed me off!

[Madisan]

Yesterday at the shop this woman told me that my hair is long in "Sistaland"....I was like "excuse me?" Did she think this was a compliment?!
She just looked at me like I was stupid and then just stared at me while I got my hair flatironed. Before she made her comment I was talking to my stylist about growing my hair longer this year and stuff and she was like, "Your hair is already really long" and I told her that long hair to me is lower back length (which is what I want) and that's what I hope to achieve within the next year or so. Ugh. The woman tried to make me feel stupid about what I want to do with my own hair! I wanted to let her know that I KNOW how long my hair is and I KNOW how long I want it to be but that would have been rude and I wasn't trying to cause a scene in that shop. How do u deal with the other customers in the shop when u go? Is there a polite way to handle these type of comment's? I can't very well ignore them because usually these women want some sort of response when they say something. Madisan

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I don't think there really is a right way to respond to some of the comments that pple make, but I probably would have just told the lady that what's long hair to some pple may not be to others and even though my hair is a nice length I have a goal I'm trying to achieve. I don't think she was meaning to be rude, but probably didn't understand why you wanted more hair w/all the hair you already have. Pple like that don't even have an idea of hair care to begin w/all they know is style it and make it look nice, length is something they believe black folks can't have, sad isn't is.

 

[billyne]

sounds like they were a bunch of haters......kill 'em with kindness.

 

[caligirl]

I think she meant that you have long hair for a black woman. I would take it as a compliment. But I hate when people stare and ask questions when I'm getting my hair done. I usually just nod my head and smile or stay busy talking to my stylist so no one can get a word in.

 

[Synthia]

I think that poor woman was trying to be complimentary too. You said you want long hair, she said yours is already long, especially in Sistaland. That's a sweet encouragement.

Now, if she had said, "Girl, you ain't neva gone have hair down to your back, not in Sistaland!" that would be another story .

When you said 'excuse me?', she was probably like "Wha? What did I do."

Do you think you normally encounter so many haters that you mistook this woman for one?

 

[Chinagem]

How do I deal with them? I smile or I ignore them and I don't really care how rude it may be to ignore them. Sometimes that's what you have to do to keep your sanity and you shouldn't feel obligated to respond to silly comments.

 

[Cheleigh]

I think that poor woman was trying to be complimentary too. You said you want long hair, she said yours is already long, especially in Sistaland. That's a sweet encouragement.

I agree. My hair was only between shoulder and arm pit for years, but people used to comment on my "long hair." I didn't take it as a slight, because for them it was long. Obviously, not compared to women on this site, or folks who consider brastrap or below long, but long (and healthy) compared to folks who couldn't seem to get their dry, damaged hair past their neck (having nothing to do with genetics, I assure you, but poor hair care decision making). To deal with them, I would smile, thank the people for their comment, and continue to grow my hair to the length I desire.

 

[mahoganee]

I think she meant that you have long hair for a black woman. I would take it as a compliment. But I hate when people stare and ask questions when I'm getting my hair done. I usually just nod my head and smile or stay busy talking to my stylist so no one can get a word in.

ITA. I have male friends who say the exact same thing when they see a black woman with hair that brushes her shoulder. I'm like you do know that black women can have long hair don't you? I haven't been to a real salon in over 10 years. I never liked how the other customers were all in yours and everybody elses business.

 

[Lovelylocs]

How do I deal with them? I take it as a compliment. That means that my hair is noticeably longer than many people they know. I use it as fuel and motivation to continue to grow my hair longer. LOL... I guess your new goal should be to get out of "sistaland". j/k After "sistaland" comes what?... I'm trying to get to "Desi-land" myself...lol

 

[Lovelylocs]

I think she meant that you have long hair for a black woman. I would take it as a compliment. But I hate when people stare and ask questions when I'm getting my hair done. I usually just nod my head and smile or stay busy talking to my stylist so no one can get a word in.

Even if they ask you for hair advice and tips?

OT: Who is that in your avatar?

 

[HairPhoenix]

It's funny how there seems to be a separate standard for hair length on AA women. I think it's because of the myth that black women can't grow long hair that a lot of people think one with shoulder length hair has long hair. But all of us in here know better.

The salon stares are funny too. I have had to deal with them all my life. I just don't take it personally, unless the stares are malicious. Some people get mesmerized and fancinated when they see shoulder length or longer hair getting worked on. Sometimes they just want to see how it's done. It may make you feel uncomfortable, but they are going "Oooo...Ahhhh!" in their minds.

As for the silly comments, you just have to ignore them. You know what you want for your hair so go for it. I don't think the woman was trying to be mean. I think she was just fascinated with your beautiful hair. Like someone else said, at least she didn't tell you that you couldn't grow your hair any longer than it is. And if she did say that then my reply would be "watch and learn".

 

[Eiano]

I think that poor woman was trying to be complimentary too.

I think so too... I don't know. When people say things like this to me I never get upset. I just think of it as they are noticing my hair, so I must be doing something right.

I'm sure you understand that a lot of black women DON'T know how to take care of their hair so they are amazed when they see people like you with long hair!!! Take is as a compliment!!!

 

[Lovelylocs]

Hairphoenix, I like your response. "Watch and learn". I am going to use this too. lol

 

[hopeful]

Yes, sounded like a compliment to me. I know, you want people to see your hair as long, period. But for many your hair must be amazing. Before joining this board I must admit that I used to stare at people with long hair because I found it amazing and when they would cut it I thought they were insane. Why she added the sistaland part, honestly, who knows and who cares, she is a stranger and not worth a lot of convo. Maybe she was saying your hair is long in OUR world but not that long overall, that is probably what you heard (and that is a bit of a put-down). Anyway, I would've just smiled, not said thank you though since she added the "sistaland" comment and if she kept staring I would have asked my hairstylist to ask for some privacy if she was standing over you or too close, but if she was staring from across the room not sure what you can do about that. Enjoy your pretty hair and focus on YOU and YOUR goals, don't let strangers distract you from your mission. Many strangers as well as family and friends will not be supportive of your goals, that is just the way life is.

 

[Lady_Lioness]

I think that poor woman was trying to be complimentary too. You said you want long hair, she said yours is already long, especially in Sistaland. That's a sweet encouragement.

Now, if she had said, "Girl, you ain't neva gone have hair down to your back, not in Sistaland!" that would be another story .

When you said 'excuse me?', she was probably like "Wha? What did I do."

Do you think you normally encounter so many haters that you mistook this woman for one?

I agree...I feel it was just a compliment...If she made a comment like "black women hair will never be that long...Please don't waste your time" or something like what synthia said...then I would be pissed and would have to correct her...but otherwise I feel that it was just a compliment.

 

[caligirl]

Even if they ask you for hair advice and tips?

OT: Who is that in your avatar?

My one tip is "keep it natural," then I just smile and nod. Also, staring back at people helps. It hard to stare at someone when they are looking you in the face.

My avatar pic is me (yeah, in my dreams!). That is Denny Mendez, my hair idol.

 

[levette]

Your hair is so pretty, I just came from your album. I would just ignore statements like that. Some things you can't explain to some people. You would be wasting your time.