Worse hair in the world!!??

[Guest]

A coworker told me that children's hair texture usually takes after the mother's hair texture. Most half black/white people I see have curlier/wavier hair when the mother is white and the father black. But I've also seen it go the other way as well.

I believe Michael Michelle's mother is black and her daddy is white and her hair is straight, so there are exceptions to all rules. However, I don't know what texture hair her black mother has either.

I was in the grocery store one day and a white man had his 2 twin 16 year old daughters with him that were half black. They were both ***** nappy! Ha! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

 

[rayne]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
But they DID NOT give the girl a relaxer because they said they didn't want to do anything permanent &amp; the stylist said who knows when she gets older she might like her hair like that. They ised a ceramic flat iron &amp; flat ironed her hair.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm, actually, I wasn't really sure what they did. I thought they relaxed it because I heard the stylist say something about her hair being permanent. Maybe he said that her hair WASN'T permanent. /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif I just know that I didn't like the attitude that the lady had towards her daughter hair and then to instill that belief in her daughter /images/graemlins/nono.gif

I also agree with everyone that a lof of black women know how to thier daughter's hair. Some of them just give the kids perms/braids, etc because they don't want to have to "deal with it". That was the case with 2 of my friends. They both permed their daughters hair when they were 2/3 years old.

I'm going to let my daughter decide how she wants to wear her hair just like my mother did with me and my sister. I just assumed that a lot of mother's did that with their daughter's too. Well, I guess these "newer" mothers don't have as much patience as they did back in the day /images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[ngaa]

i must sound really thick but i been readin a lotta posts that mention box-braids and was wondering what they looked like....

ngaa /images/graemlins/drunk.gif

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: Well...

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
LondonDiva said:
&lt;img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /&gt; True. Do you know how many times I hear "I don't want to have a girl baby because I won't know what to do with her hair" or "I can't be bothered to do her hair" What STUPID reason is that for not wanting a girl child. This is why I have to learn to cornrow because I intend to have children and you know what they are coming out with hair so I need to learn these styles before my kids look like don king.


[/ QUOTE ]

I wrote a poem about this

A Sad Request
I want a blue-eyed baby with long wavy hair
Don’t give me no ***** child to fill me with despair
I want my child’s hair to need no press and comb
If I get a baby like that I ain’t bringing ‘em home
I don’t want my child darker than the sun that shines in the sky
If I get a baby like that I’ll surely die
Don’t want no child’s hair I need to cornrow
Don’t want no ***** baby whose hair just won’t grow
Please Lord don’t let my baby look anything like me
And if she does, that’s a baby I don’t care to see
Don’t want a chocolate or ebony baby I’d rather have tan
And if to ensure that; I’ll sleep with a white man
Don’t want no child that Mother Africa made
I want a baby the shade of lemonade
Lord, I’m ashamed of how you made me
And I don’t want the same for my newborn baby


Then came an answer from God himself
Don’t you even care about your child’s health?
Who cares if her eyes are blue?
As long as she’s able to see you
Pray for her to have legs so that she can walk
Pray for her to have a voice so she can talk
Hope that she has all of her fingers and her toes
Pray that you live long enough to watch her grow
Who cares what kind of hair grows from her head
One day you’ll be ashamed of the words you said
Some people wish that they had a child
Why don’t you think about that for awhile?
Pray that your child comes out all right
Instead of praying that your child looks white

 

[moni]

Re: Well...

lol...when I first read it I was like....hey i've heard that before. Then I remembered that it was from your site that I read it . Ms. Kenesha I absolutely love that poem. Keep on doing your thing girl. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Julia]

Re: Well...

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
True. Do you know how many times I hear "I don't want to have a girl baby because I won't know what to do with her hair" or "I can't be bothered to do her hair" What STUPID reason is that for not wanting a girl child

Yes I have heard this stupidity before. I have heard many women and men say that they will only marry someone with good hair so that any babies that they have will have nice hair. So they overlook a kind and decent person for some pretty boy or pretty girl who has nice hair but a stink personality... so sometimes they end up with a little one who grows up with nice hair, but divorced separated parents.

Personally I think thier motives and priorities concerning reproducing are all mixed up! /images/graemlins/nuts.gif

 

[RUBY]

I agree!

 

[ngaa]

Re: Well...

POET IN DA HIZOUSE /images/graemlins/notworthy.gif i'm lovin that poem ms_kenesha /images/graemlins/smile.gif esp. these lines:
Who cares what kind of hair grows from her head
One day you’ll be ashamed of the words you said
Some people wish that they had a child
Why don’t you think about that for awhile?

ngaa /images/graemlins/drunk.gif

 

[BrightEyes]

Re: Well...

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
LondonDiva said:
Do you know how many times I hear "I don't want to have a girl baby because I won't know what to do with her hair" or "I can't be bothered to do her hair" What STUPID reason is that for not wanting a girl child. This is why I have to learn to cornrow because I intend to have children and you know what they are coming out with hair so I need to learn these styles before my kids look like don king.

Boy or girl. I'm growing my babies hair (when I have them). There is nothing cuter than a lil black boy with long well kept, healthy hair... /images/graemlins/scratchchin.gif um yes there is a little girl /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


Yeah, you are right Diva. It's not that hard to learn how to braid. Plus, when you do them well, braids can stay looking nice for days at a time. My sister gets her hair done 1 or 2 times a week.

 

[Pumpkin]

Re: Well...

When I went to Florida, my aunt actually told my brother, "Make sure you marry a Spanish woman so your kids could be cute and have good hair." Her daughter has a birracial daughter (black and white) and recently had another baby (100% black). When I asked her how the baby looked, she said "She's cute but she dosen't have hair like the other one. She has that n*$$@ hair." /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Needless to say growing up, most of the negative comments that led to my low self esteem came from her. I will admit that I was so ashamed of my hair. It was not until last summer that I wore my hair natural with pride. But I choose to relax as a personal preference.

But how could anyone say this. Now this baby will grow up in the shadow of her mixed sister just because she is 100% black!

I do not know what the future holds for me. I may marry white, black, Chinese, Latino whatever. But whoever I marry, I know my child will most likely inherit some of my 4b kinky hair. I now know it is my duty to make sure she feels good about herself and her hair. My mother had really fine textured hair but would always make me feel good by constantly saying my coarse hair was a blessing becaue it was so thick and full. I should have listened to her over my aunt, but I guess it is easier to dwell on the negative.

Having boards like these will hopefully end this plague of ignorance.

 

[LondonDiva]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I was in the grocery store one day and a white man had his 2 twin 16 year old daughters with him that were half black. They were both ***** nappy! Ha!

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sorry I don't understand what's meant by that.

 

[LondonDiva]

Re: Well...

Ms Kenesha

Your poem is toooooo heavy girl!!!!! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

That was excellent

Listen girl. Keep hold of that, cause I have plans on the poetry flex over here and I'll fly you over myself just to read that one live. /images/graemlins/notworthy.gif You need to have your stuff published, if not a whole book that one alone.

 

[pebbles]

Re: Well...

Ms. Kenesha,

That was a very nice poem. I hope you are saving everything you write. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Guest]

yeah i get to be different

so once again im in total disagreement with the person who posted that anyone who said they wouldnt want a girl child because they wouldnt know what to do with there hair, is stupid. honestly ive said it before. not because im ignorant and im lazy , but because of my childhood an environment. all my life ive grown up in a small white town of 5000ppl. and my family were the only blacks. as for my parents they honesly didnt "act" black in the least. and i didnt even know what cornrows were till about two years ago. frankly i was terrified that if i had a child for a black man that i honestly wouldnt know what to do with her hair. thats the honest truth. i can understand if i grew up in a black culture thatd id get flack for saying that, but saying that white women or even i am ignorant for saying those words is even more ignorant. everyone has there own reasoning behind why they say things and unless you know what it is, you shouldnt judge.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: yeah i get to be different

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
emmy said:
so once again im in total disagreement with the person who posted that anyone who said they wouldnt want a girl child because they wouldnt know what to do with there hair, is stupid. honestly ive said it before. not because im ignorant and im lazy , but because of my childhood an environment. all my life ive grown up in a small white town of 5000ppl. and my family were the only blacks. as for my parents they honesly didnt "act" black in the least. and i didnt even know what cornrows were till about two years ago. frankly i was terrified that if i had a child for a black man that i honestly wouldnt know what to do with her hair. thats the honest truth. i can understand if i grew up in a black culture thatd id get flack for saying that, but saying that white women or even i am ignorant for saying those words is even more ignorant. everyone has there own reasoning behind why they say things and unless you know what it is, you shouldnt judge.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well Emmy slap a dunce cap on me &amp; call me ignorant!!! Because I stand behind my assertion that to say that you wouldn't know what to do with your child's hair if they were a product of a black man is ignorant. What do you do to your own hair? What did your mother do to your hair? Are there not a great number of books on the subject? I think that this is just an excuse to have an interracial baby; I mean seriously I don't want to conceive by a black man because I won't know what to do with the child's hair??? /images/graemlins/frown.gif Sounds pretty ignorant to me!

And secondly what do you mean when you say your parents didn't "act black" in the least? What is acting black?

That's my 2 cents! You can PM me if you want.

 

[Guest]

Re: yeah i get to be different

My hair was relaxed at a very young age. its sher luck that even though i didnt know about black hair care that my hair managed to grow past shoulder lenght.

I ask you why they are so many black WOMEN running around with nasty damaged dried hair covered with badly done weaves??? the answer is because most black women in general dont know how to take care of our kind of hair. it isnt ignorance otherwise this board should have a million members by now. fact is most people dont know this information is out here. i didnt untill i stumbled onto it by accident, which i thank gawd i did cause ive learned a huge amount of valuable information. I'm just now learing to care for my hair both relaxed an natural, an hopefully my opionion about black hair will change. i no longer think the majority of black hair cant grow..etc ive i now know whats myth and what isnt. but unless you knew this information was out there you wouldnt go looking for it.

 

[Crysdon]

Re: yeah i get to be different

This reply is so disturbing to me. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

Please explain, "acting Black" and the reason you wouldn't be able to style your child's hair if you were to marry a Black man.

 

[LondonDiva]

Re: yeah i get to be different

So being from a small town you deem yourself as different? You live in a small town you're not a victim of anything so please why all the 5,000 population drama.....

First off I don't know who that person you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's me because I said it. Furthermore keep the comments about bein stupid to a minimum just because you can't agree with mine, no need to get upset about it so take a chill pill ok.

Well being in a town of 5,000 people predominately white, hasn't stopped you from finding this board and learning about black hair care has it??? So when you have kids you won't have much of an excuse. As a black female how have you managed to keep the hair on your head. There weren't books and the internet for Africans hundreds of years ago, but they worked it out. My boyfriend's 14 year old sister taught herself to cornrow from using a big dolly head, and she's excellent now.

Assuming you have electricity to use a computer I'm assuming you probably have access to a video player, order a tape off the internet! I posted links for sweetcocoa and learn. That's how I, being a city girl surrounded by black folk will learn to cornrow my children's hair when I have them. Look at the bigger picture rather than use where you are from as a cop out. I may not come from a small town, but the fact remains I'm still willing to learn to do it and there's no one to show me, so I'm not feeling the small town excuse.

Furthermore whether your kid is bi-racial or black their hair still requires the same attention, care and braiding IMHO.

 

[Armyqt]

Re: Well...

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
ms_kenesha said:
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
LondonDiva said:
&lt;img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /&gt; True. Do you know how many times I hear "I don't want to have a girl baby because I won't know what to do with her hair" or "I can't be bothered to do her hair" What STUPID reason is that for not wanting a girl child. This is why I have to learn to cornrow because I intend to have children and you know what they are coming out with hair so I need to learn these styles before my kids look like don king.


[/ QUOTE ]

I wrote a poem about this

A Sad Request
I want a blue-eyed baby with long wavy hair
Don’t give me no ***** child to fill me with despair
I want my child’s hair to need no press and comb
If I get a baby like that I ain’t bringing ‘em home
I don’t want my child darker than the sun that shines in the sky
If I get a baby like that I’ll surely die
Don’t want no child’s hair I need to cornrow
Don’t want no ***** baby whose hair just won’t grow
Please Lord don’t let my baby look anything like me
And if she does, that’s a baby I don’t care to see
Don’t want a chocolate or ebony baby I’d rather have tan
And if to ensure that; I’ll sleep with a white man
Don’t want no child that Mother Africa made
I want a baby the shade of lemonade
Lord, I’m ashamed of how you made me
And I don’t want the same for my newborn baby


Then came an answer from God himself
Don’t you even care about your child’s health?
Who cares if her eyes are blue?
As long as she’s able to see you
Pray for her to have legs so that she can walk
Pray for her to have a voice so she can talk
Hope that she has all of her fingers and her toes
Pray that you live long enough to watch her grow
Who cares what kind of hair grows from her head
One day you’ll be ashamed of the words you said
Some people wish that they had a child
Why don’t you think about that for awhile?
Pray that your child comes out all right
Instead of praying that your child looks white


[/ QUOTE ]

OMG Ms. Kenesha, that is deep girl!! But you hit that nail right on the head. My friend and I was just talking about this same topic the other day. It used to be that you would see mostly black men with white women, but now you see a lot of sisters with white men. IMO many of them are with these men, or simply have babies by these men so they can have interracial babies. It seems to be the in thing right now. These women have low self-esteem, exhibit self hatred and try to live vicariously through their children. It is a sad state of affairs and the only thing we can do is pray for the. Rock on Gabrielle Union. Beautiful Black Woman.

DISCLAIMER: I am not saying that every interracial couple is together for this reason. But many are and I believe it goes both ways (white men and women also wanting interracial babies). I know a few happily married interracial couples who married for love.

 

[Guest]

Re: yeah i get to be different

londondive......backtrack an reread my last post an pay attention this time.

 

[pebbles]

Re: yeah i get to be different

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
but saying that white women or even i am ignorant for saying those words is even more ignorant.

[/ QUOTE ]

Emmy, try not to call the opinions of other members on the board ignorant. I'm sure you can find other ways to express your opposing views. That just sets the stage for friction, and I'm sure that's not what you want. Thanks.

 

[LondonDiva]

Re: yeah i get to be different

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
emmy said:
londondive......backtrack an reread my last post an pay attention this time.



[/ QUOTE ]

Don't get /images/graemlins/censored.gif smart with me. /images/graemlins/mad.gif I re-read everything before I post. If you don't like it I suggest you either

1. Write in a clear concise manner

or

2. Accept the responses to your posts and take them as they are.

Talking about pay attention this, time. Who in the hell......I don't want to turn into an online troll and exude some disgusting behaviour, so watch your tone when it comes to me or don't bother reply to my posts at all. I'm not able for these ladies to see my bad side on account of your flippant response.

I'm done.

 

[rayne]

Re: yeah i get to be different

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
so once again im in total disagreement with the person who posted that anyone who said they wouldnt want a girl child because they wouldnt know what to do with there hair, is stupid. honestly ive said it before. not because im ignorant and im lazy , but because of my childhood an environment. all my life ive grown up in a small white town of 5000ppl. and my family were the only blacks. as for my parents they honesly didnt "act" black in the least. and i didnt even know what cornrows were till about two years ago. frankly i was terrified that if i had a child for a black man that i honestly wouldnt know what to do with her hair. thats the honest truth. i can understand if i grew up in a black culture thatd id get flack for saying that, but saying that white women or even i am ignorant for saying those words is even more ignorant. everyone has there own reasoning behind why they say things and unless you know what it is, you shouldnt judge

[/ QUOTE ]

I can understand if a non-black person wouldn't know what to do with a child that has kinky hair because their hair texture is different. But as a parent, it is up to them to learn how to care for it. There are several reference tools available on the subject so there isn't any excuse for them not to know. It is ignorant however, for that non-black person or any person period, to make negative comments about that child's hair texture.

Now what I don't understand is why a black person would say that they wouldn't know what to do with a girl's hair. What do you do to your own hair? If their hair texture is similar to that of a different race, then I can somewhat understand that. In that case, they should go to a family member or friend and learn. Now if they don't know what to do with a girl's hair because they don't know how to braid hair that's no excuse either. Cornrows are not the only option for a child. You can also put it in ponytails (pigtails), twists, let it hang naturally or occassionally press it out. You had to learn to drive, you had to learn to read and you had to learn to care for your own hair so you have to learn to do the same with your child.

Out of curiosity, what does growing up around whites have to do with taking care of black hair /images/graemlins/confused.gif Hair is hair and it's going to be the same regardless of whether or not you're brought up around blacks or whites.

 

[Guest]

Re: yeah i get to be different

what the hell??!! i should be sorry for calling someone ignorant? Well im sorry but are you blind? did she(londondiva) just not call people with my opionion ignorant and yet your telling me i should be sorry and not upset the board...... yall are too funny.

i hate to repeat myself but apprently you all arent getting it... I NEVER knew about cornrows, how would i go learn how to do something i never knew existed????explain this to me. the reason i say im from a small town is because there are no black hair care products here. there are no black ppl to learn from here. i cant learn from my mother because shes part asian and has very manageble relaxed hair. my hair was also relaxed at a young age and luckly it managed to grow past shoulder lenght because apperently god loves me more. seriously ive been told this by my mother an by my aunt i visited in NY last year. i have that good hair going on. so with all that info in my brain and no real knowledge i think any one with half a brain can understand why id fear natural real AA hair. i never said i never wanted to marry a black man, i said if i did i wouldnt know how to style the childs hair. forgive me for being a moron and accidently stumbling onto this board. ................im done now

 

[pebbles]

Re: yeah i get to be different

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
what the hell??!! i should be sorry for calling someone ignorant? Well im sorry but are you blind? did she(londondiva) just not call people with my opionion ignorant and yet your telling me i should be sorry and not upset the board...... yall are too funny.


[/ QUOTE ]

Take my advice emmy, CALM DOWN. It's not what you say, but how you say it. LondonDiva was talking about other people, not members of this board. I can't control what is said about people outside of this board, but I can tell you what the best way is to post your opinions about anything said here. Don't get defensive, just take it in the spirit in which it was given; a friendly reminder on the proper ways of addressing board members. Your post included board members, and that's what my post was about.

 

[daviine]

Re: Well...

Londondiva----I'm cracking up at your post becasue I was one of those people. I didn't want any girls at all becasue I was like what was I going to do with their hair. Now this is probably just as bad, but since joining hair boards, all I want is a girl now!!!!



Although--my personal reality check is that I will take any healthy baby now.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: yeah i get to be different

Okay so your mom is half-asian w/ very manageable relaxed hair &amp; you were relaxed at a young age.

I was relaxed at age 8 or 9 and although I was relaxed I never thought I'd be at a loss as to what to do to my child's hair because even though I am relaxed I still have black hair. Relaxed hair is not analogous to Type 1 hair, it's a diff. beast altogether. Also, thankfully I had a little sister whose hair I did. But like someone stated cornrows aren't the only option for black children, in fact I rarely had cornrows growing up (check my pic album). I had plaits (surely you can plait), twists, ponytails, etc.

Quick Question: What does "my hair was also relaxed at a young age and luckly it managed to grow past shoulder lenght because apperently god loves me more. seriously ive been told this by my mother an by my aunt i visited in NY last year. i have that good hair going on." mean? Are you saying that your believe your hair has grown so much because you're "blessed" or because you have "good hair"?

I'm really not trying to be antagonistic, but I think it is so ludicrous that the "good hair" mindset still exists and even though you grew up in an all white town that "good hair" thing def. didn't come from the whites. Emmy, the next time someone says you or anyone else has good hair, quote the Elasta QP ad, "If you think in terms of good hair and bad hair the problem isn't on your head it's in your head!"

 

[Guest]

Re: yeah i get to be different

whoa.. thank yo for your non-judgemental post. im amazed that they're people here that can speak without getting all hotheaded an bent.

i honestly dont get the "good hair" thing myself, thats just something ive been told all my life by other people black and whites. i didnt say what i said earlier out of pride an if anyone thought that.. im sry. /images/graemlins/look.gif i was just stating that i was scared my kid would end up looking like donking the second coming. lol im sure i would have eventually found a way to tame it. but ive never delt with that hair. nor do we have lil black children running down the streets here. so i dont have any examples on how to style it.

im totally new at this and felt like an outsider because of my upbringing. and my lack of black culture. anything i learnt about blacks i learnt from television. which is the worse place you can learn anything. my knowledge of blacks was that of a country white person, and even though i am black i never felt like i fit in... example when i went to NY last year. my hair is differnelty styled, the way i talked was diff, my style of clothes were diff, my musical intrest an so. talk about feeling like a white girl trapped in a black girls body. i just know someone somewhere is going to take offence at that. so i apologize now.

just know that we dont all come from the same background and one cant expect everyone to have the same knowledge everywhere.

put a lil piggy to live with a family of dogs and it thinks its a dog. im a firm believer that environment plays a big role in who you become. and that how i am. i just thank god that i happened upon this board one day. im learning so much with it. an pls be patient with me, im a newbie /images/graemlins/drunk.gif

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: yeah i get to be different

Emmy,

I've had a varied upbringing raised from 3-11 in Germany &amp; then moved to a majority white area in MD and went to a majority white school for a year (I was usually 1 of 2 blacks in my class) then I moved to a majority black area in MD and was ostracized for the way that I talked, etc. So, I can kind of feel your dilemma.

My advice is to read more black literature (fiction &amp; non-fiction) you know if you don't know where you came from you are doomed to repeat it. Good Books to start off with are: Black Skins, White Masks by Frantz Fanon (black Martiniquan sp?) and The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison also read this The Willie Lynch Letter If you ever want to talk or know something PM or email me at [email protected]

Knowledge is power &amp; self-knowledge is beautiful! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Guest]

Re: yeah i get to be different

thanks. i love reading and spend way to much money on books, ill definaley take a look at some of those you suggested.

what i relief lol i was beggining to think i really was way too diff than most blacks to be understood. im glad to know that theres someone else out there that kind of understands my situation. lol i was starting to feel lost /images/graemlins/look.gif

thanks for ur kindness