Your "In Laws" and Your Hair...

[SignatureBeauty]

My In-laws just comment on how many times I done shaved my hair off, they just shake their heads, and say why can't you make up your mind, do you want long hair,short hair,be bald headed,relaxed, natural etc. LOL!!

But other than that NADA!!

 

[Striving4perfection86]

In east africa they have some of the blackest people youve ever seen in your life and they have the most beautiful curly hair ever mbl is the norm for them.....jus in case u dont know da countries in east africa somalia and ethiopia are a couple.

 

[Iamhim]

My beef is this....I hate how people automatically assume that the only way a black person can have curly/wavy hair is if they are mixed with something. Its so not true!! Ugh. Since they are my in-laws I don't make a fuss about it. But it does get on my nerves.

Um....that IS why black people's hair is curly. Most black americans have white in their family whether thats from "massa" doin his business or from someone voluntarily reproducing with a white or asian person....but that is INDEED the reason why we have type 3s. It may not be because we have one white grandparent or a white parent but those genes from far far back down the line can still show up in us today. What other reason do you have for why we have curly hair? And why do you think curly hair is more prevalent among black americans than Africans? (Yes there are mixtures over there too). Why do you think black Dominicans and Peurto Ricans and other latinos have curly hair? Because we've all been mixed with European DNA....I mean, if I'm wrong, please enlighten me!

To answer your question, I don't think that. I don't I agree with you there. As I have not been to Africa, don't have many African friends I can't comment on the texture of their hair. But it is my assumption that there are Africans with curly hairly that don't have Caucasian ancestry.

While I understand that many black Americans have Caucasian ancestry that isn't the case for everyone....I don't need it to be brought as a gold medal or something to be proud of. My great great great grandmother on my daddy's mother's side might have been white, hence the reason for my curly hair...but do I do walk around wearing a banner that says that? Nope. Because to me it doesn't really matter.

 

[Iamhim]

In east africa they have some of the blackest people youve ever seen in your life and they have the most beautiful curly hair ever mbl is the norm for them.....jus in case u dont know da countries in east africa somalia and ethiopia are a couple.

That's what I thought. But I didn't want to throw that out there b/c I only know of people from that region. I don't know anyone personally.

 

[ms.blue]

My family in Ghana have a range from 3b-4b hair without any type of mixture. At first I did not agree with LaFemmeNaturelle but now I could understand where she is coming from. In my family the lighter along with having curly hair is seen as beautiful. My mom always talks about how my brother when he was a baby that people thought he was mixed b/c he was light w/ 3c curly hair. She always talked about my brother's good hair and about my sister and I bad hair (hard and nappy). She said that he got my grandfather's hair (3b/c) hair. To me hairtyping has become a way to segreate (sp?) black/africans even more imo. Hair is hair it shouldn't matter if it's straight, kinky, curly, long or short because hair should not have to define you.

To answer OP original question, one of my ex mother thought my hair was long and it was only shoulder length but I don't think it really mattered to her.

 

[LadyRaider]

I was watching that NBC show that's called something like "Who do you think you are?" They did Emmit Smith's DNA ancestry and he was something like 74 percent African. The lady said the most African she'd ever tested was somewhere in the low 80s. I want to say it was Charles Barkley (who is lighter than Emmitt, but I don't remember for sure.)

You find me an African American who isn't mixed, and I"ll show you someone who just got off the boat from some secluded enclave in Bush country. The USA is a country of mutts.

 

[LadyRaider]

Oh and... I've said this here before. I have a dark skinned, more deeply textured cousin who was born to two parents with very light skin and very "straight" hair. I once had the opportunity to ask about this to a professor. He said skin color and hair texture do not follow the regular dominant/recessive trait model. They are both too complicated. A lot of "stuff" goes into making skin color which I guess is why there are so many shades. I mean you don't get THAT many shades of green or blue or brown eyes... like you do with skin color... and for that matter variances of hair texture. We know here that people can have several textures of hair on their heads. What's up with THAT?

 

[Lucky's Mom]

My Monster in Law has serious issues. she thinks there are "white products" and "black products" and always wants to tell me a story about how she put a good perm on somebody's head......

This is a backward bash on my stance to stay natural.

Awful.....
As far ss I am concerned - she can keep chain smoking and Slapping on her perm.....
Of course she called me when she could not get any Dye to take to her grey hair....

 

[Mad Scientist]

My beef is this....I hate how people automatically assume that the only way a black person can have curly/wavy hair is if they are mixed with something. Its so not true!! Ugh. Since they are my in-laws I don't make a fuss about it. But it does get on my nerves.

Um....that IS why black people's hair is curly. Most black americans have white in their family whether thats from "massa" doin his business or from someone voluntarily reproducing with a white or asian person....but that is INDEED the reason why we have type 3s. It may not be because we have one white grandparent or a white parent but those genes from far far back down the line can still show up in us today. What other reason do you have for why we have curly hair? And why do you think curly hair is more prevalent among black americans than Africans? (Yes there are mixtures over there too). Why do you think black Dominicans and Peurto Ricans and other latinos have curly hair? Because we've all been mixed with European DNA....I mean, if I'm wrong, please enlighten me!

O_O I've been a Genetics [and Physics double] major for 3 years and we never learned about any European DNA.

Anyway, my boyfriend's mom is relaxed and she flat irons her hair everyday but she likes mine! And his sister is natural and always telling me how cute it is. Lucky I don't have to put up with some bull****.

 

[HomesteaderDreams]

My beef is this....I hate how people automatically assume that the only way a black person can have curly/wavy hair is if they are mixed with something. Its so not true!! Ugh. Since they are my in-laws I don't make a fuss about it. But it does get on my nerves.

Um....that IS why black people's hair is curly. Most black americans have white in their family whether thats from "massa" doin his business or from someone voluntarily reproducing with a white or asian person....but that is INDEED the reason why we have type 3s. It may not be because we have one white grandparent or a white parent but those genes from far far back down the line can still show up in us today. What other reason do you have for why we have curly hair? And why do you think curly hair is more prevalent among black americans than Africans? (Yes there are mixtures over there too). Why do you think black Dominicans and Peurto Ricans and other latinos have curly hair? Because we've all been mixed with European DNA....I mean, if I'm wrong, please enlighten me!

My reasoning is that it is because we are not African. sheesh. can we not just have brown skin and curly hair? why do we always have to be likened to Africans or "mixed" people? But, hey, that is another topic and that would be a type of thread.

 

[HomesteaderDreams]

There are plenty of UNMIXED Africans with curly hair. No mixing needed.

that too. I guess that person would also say yt ppl with curly hair are mixed with African??? erplexed

 

[D.Lisha]

My in-laws didn't have much to say about my hair until I recently reached bra-strap length. And even then they have a half-a** compliment about how it grew. Every time I would mention how close I was to my relaxer date they would suggest I let my FIL put the relaxer in since he did such a good job on theirs.......O_O (df?)

I would then have to explain how I only let my LICENSED professional stylist lay hands in my head without sounding "bougie".

They crack me up though, because every time the subject of hair comes up, they would do their best to bring up their aunt who had WL hair to be sure they let me KNOW they has someone in the fam who's hajr is longer than mine.
......I'm still waiting to meet this aunt..but until then I shall continue to love and nurture my tresses. *flips hair nonchalantly and files nails* lol
Those people don't phase me

Oh and btw, they think I'm crazy for spending $65 for relaxers, and $45 for silk wraps. They prefer going to people who's hairstyles are $25 and lower. All imma say is you get what you pay for, and I spare no expense when it comes to MY hair!

 

[silverbuttons]

that too. I guess that person would also say yt ppl with curly hair are mixed with African??? erplexed

Yes. Thats why the argument always seems backwards to me.

A black person with hair in the 3s or even a silky 4, is mixed with some kind of white.
So... why doesn't every curly haired white person get accused of being mixed also? So they can have every range from 1-3, but our genes are somehow only limited to 4s and "coarse" hair.

 

[MsKinkycurl]

SO's family loves my natural hair. His mom is natural and she always comments on how long I've grow my hair.

During my first christmas with his family I found myself alone at a table with his uncle and cousin. The conversation turned to hair, pro natural, anti weave, etc. It was fun to hear how men view our hair trends, looking from the outside. I think weaves are a nice hair vacation style option but some of their comments were hilarious. They were schooling me on the history of hair trends since the 70's.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using LHCF

 

[Prettymetty]

My mother in law compliments me on my wigs lol. She's Italian and she wears phony ponies and lace wigs sometimes. She loves my natural hair, but im usually un a protective style. I like that she is honest and doesnt judge

 

[Blairx0]

My need to be mother in law always compliments the length and thickness of my hair and says she is going to grow her hair out. Nice, huh? But she is set in her ways. She asks me why I don't wear my hair straight, why I never go to the salon, why I don't relax my hair "just a little bit."

She is lucky I need her recipe for her ham glaze and her son's last name otherwise she would get a lesson in hair care.

 

[JudithO]

My MIL loves my hair.. last time she saw me, I was MBL and relaxed.... i'm about to BC this weekend to TWA napps... she is going to be so mad... lol...

so far as Africans and hair texture... I think it has a lot to do with the weather in the given region of Africa. Back in Nigeria, I lived there for 18 years, ALL the people i know that had 4a hair come from the coolest parts of the country... 4a is the curliest I saw for people that were 100% Nigerian.. the vast majority of us are 4b and 4c.

 

[HomesteaderDreams]

This is errant thinking anyway because although not all curly hair is kinky, all kinky hair is curly.

What I've noticed for the decade that I've been natural is that most Black diasporans don't even really know how they look. That's why when Black folks are natural, people are in such awe of the curls, coils, and springs when they have the same thing happening on their own head as well. They automatically throw out the "you must have some white/latino/Indian in you." Nope, Adam and Eve were walking around with this.

My point exactly. Thank you for stating this. People have this mental picture of what black people look like in their completely natural state, and when you turn out not looking like that, they automatically attribute your beauty to you being mixed, somehow. Like black ppl have to claims on beauty. Whatever we have that is beautiful came from "someone else somewhere down the line." And when we are articulate, we must have been raised around white people. When we are intelligent and classy, same thing. And add to that that we need to stop being so prissy and loosen up. erplexed We are not allowed to simply be. And neither is our hair. It's disheartening.

 

[kupenda]

SO is white. No comments from them on my hair. He adores it tho.

 

[Fotchygirl]

My in-laws didn't have much to say about my hair until I recently reached bra-strap length. And even then they have a half-a** compliment about how it grew. Every time I would mention how close I was to my relaxer date they would suggest I let my FIL put the relaxer in since he did such a good job on theirs.......O_O (df?)

I would then have to explain how I only let my LICENSED professional stylist lay hands in my head without sounding "bougie".

They crack me up though, because every time the subject of hair comes up, they would do their best to bring up their aunt who had WL hair to be sure they let me KNOW they has someone in the fam who's hajr is longer than mine.
......I'm still waiting to meet this aunt..but until then I shall continue to love and nurture my tresses. *flips hair nonchalantly and files nails* lol
Those people don't phase me

Oh and btw, they think I'm crazy for spending $65 for relaxers, and $45 for silk wraps. They prefer going to people who's hairstyles are $25 and lower. All imma say is you get what you pay for, and I spare no expense when it comes to MY hair!

Yoo girl that is expensive! The most expensive relxer where I stay is $15.

 

[nemi95]

Yoo girl that is expensive! The most expensive relxer where I stay is $15.

It's $15 At a salon? I'm in Los Angeles and in the poor areas it's $80+ For a relaxer. It's over $100 to get a relaxer in my neighborhood. I live by Disneyland. I'm natural and I haven't been to the salon in almost 2 years.

 

[divachyk]

My in laws and I are cool and they love my hair. However, my hair is a none factor to anything. They do, however, compliment my hair each time we see each other and they get on to me when I cut it.

 

[Honey Bee]

SO's mom loves my hair. One of her first comments to me is always about hair. 'Oh, it grew so long!' 'Oh no, you didn't cut it!' 'Oh! It grew back so fast!'

I think she enjoys bragging about it. Her grandkids are gonna have beautiful hair. SO's hair is so thick and glossy.

 

[Fotchygirl]

It's $15 At a salon? I'm in Los Angeles and in the poor areas it's $80+ For a relaxer. It's over $100 to get a relaxer in my neighborhood. I live by Disneyland. I'm natural and I haven't been to the salon in almost 2 years.

Yoh life is really expensive in America, I am in Africa and $15 is considered "pricey" over here. I cannot imagine paying those amounts for a relaxer. But the disadvantage with being from Africa is that a lot of the products mentioned on this site are unavailable here.

 

[flyygirlll2]

My fiancé's parents don't say much about my hair because they live out of state and I hardly wear my hair out anyway. The only person who said anything was his grandmother during our last visit. She told me she loved my bun and thought it was pretty

 

[Harina]

Yoh life is really expensive in America, I am in Africa and $15 is considered "pricey" over here. I cannot imagine paying those amounts for a relaxer. But the disadvantage with being from Africa is that a lot of the products mentioned on this site are unavailable here.

Fotchygirl what country are you in. If you don't mind saying....

 

[Babysaffy]

My SOs mum and siblings always comment on my hair lol length, health and 'good' hair. They do act a little in awe of me because of it and I can tell it gets me a pass from being average to plain facially lol

 

[Petal26]

I think my hair might be the only thing my MIL doesn't hate about me

She's white and she used to have her hair short and spiky (you know, the q- tip look with tons of hairspray to make her hair look 'thicker' ). Now she grew it somewhat and curls it like mine.

We don't really talk anymore though

 

[claud-uk]

In east africa they have some of the blackest people youve ever seen in your life and they have the most beautiful curly hair ever mbl is the norm for them.....jus in case u dont know da countries in east africa somalia and ethiopia are a couple.

[cough] darkest

 

[Fotchygirl]

Fotchygirl what country are you in. If you don't mind saying....

South Africa.