Vent: I'm slightly jealous!

[FAMUDva]

Yeah, I will finally admit that I'm slightly jealous!

I've been here for almost 2 years and am no where near my goals. I had healthy hair when I came, then it went down hill from there for about a year while I was trying to figure out my reggie. Thankfully things FINALLY bounced back and now I have the health I had pre-LHCF (link in siggy of July07 update).

Why am I jealous you say? WELL, I'm super excited for my LHCF sisters that have met and exceeded their goals in the same amount of time, but I am just a tad bit jealous because I wish i were there too. I feel stupid for feeling this way, AND I feel silly for admitting it, but it's something I wanted to get off my chest for a long time.

Now that I have it off my chest, I guess it will be ANOTHER 2 years before I'll actually realize my own goals

Am I alone? :sigh:

Happy Growing Ladies

 

[seymone]

Your not by urself. I have been a detriment to myself because I thought that stocking cap weaves were a protective style. It is not, while ur hair is covered it also can not breathe. I was stunting my own growth. Now that my hair is out. It is really taking off.

 

[deltagyrl]

There, there Fam.......

How far are you from your goal length?

Your new siggy pic is cute btw.

 

[SunnyDelight]

You are not alone and shouldn't feel silly for making your feelings known. I've seen lots of similar posts over the last few weeks so I'm sure that everyone here understands and supports you. I also know that they would agree with me that you and your hair are beautiful. You just need to be patient and keep up the good work. Your dreams of long hair will happen and you'll have women more than "slightly jealous" of your "SWANG".

 

[FAMUDva]

There, there Fam.......

How far are you from your goal length?

Your new siggy pic is cute btw.

Thanks for the compliment about the pic!

Chile, I just reached APL this year and I had hoped to be at BSL by the end of the year. I know I'm not going to make that because I'm at least 3-4 inches away from that goal. Well, maybe 3 since right now I have about 1.5 inches of new growth.

My ultimate goal was/is MBL. I'm too far to even think about that right now. LOL!

 

[FAMUDva]

You are not alone and shouldn't feel silly for making your feelings known. I've seen lots of similar posts over the last few weeks so I'm sure that everyone here understands and supports you. I also know that they would agree with me that you and your hair are beautiful. You just need to be patient and keep up the good work. Your dreams of long hair will happen and you'll have women more than "slightly jealous" of your "SWANG".

Well thank you Sunny! I really appreciate it that! I guess it helps to know I'm not alone. Of course I'll keep plugging along.

 

[ryanshope]

I feel your pain girlfriend..I am at APL and haven't moved in YEARS.. I am SO frustrated!!..anyway it for me it isn't jealousy, more frustration but we have to keep it moving...FAMUDIVA as soon as I find the quickfix I am telling the world(lol)...

 

[Lady Esquire]

You look absolutely radiant in your signature picture! You have great skin.

I have had setbacks myself...but at least your hair is on track now and you'll get there soon enough. A watched pot never boils...which makes it even that more frustrating. As for your frustration....well....here's a big 'ole hug

 

[envybeauty]

Curious....

you said you had a set back while trying to figure out what works best for your hair.

have you otherwise been honest with yourself in how you take care of your hair? have you been consistent? did you do what the other ladies (who you are jealous of) have done?

I have not. I have used blow dryers AND flat irons on the same day. I have not always slept with anything on my hair (nothing near silk and any and everything cotton). I have not always deep conditioned. Not always used protein. Vitamins. Fugetaboutit.

I too have seen women make great progress. But I cannot be jealous when I have not worked as hard as they have for what they have.

 

[sareca]

I'm not any where near my goal either (I'm at least 1-2 years away), but when I look at some of my favorite heads of hair around here it took them took 3-4 years to reach goal. I've just resigned that it's gonna take that long. I've even toyed with the idea of not doing any length checks until the end of 2008! I haven't totally committed to that one tho. :wink2: I think it's pretty normal for it to be 4 years before you're solidly at goal.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I can kinda relate.... I get jealous sometimes (although inspired) when I see everyones' (including yours!!!!!) beautiful long locks. I know to you it may not be 'long' or as long as you want it, but for people like me who are starting from a very short cut, thats a whole lotta hair!!!!

I know its frustrating.... but just look at how far youve come, how healthy your hair is now. I think Macherie said on her site that instead of obsessing over length, find alot of 'mini' goals. That way you arent always consumed w/ how long your hair is. It helps me.

 

[mscocoface]

Please do not fret, I know that is harder to do than to say it. Most of us have been there. I had my bout of this last year and had to seriously evaluate what did I do to contribute to me not reaching goals that I set.

I found I was my own worst enemy and there were some things I could not avoid. Health reasons last year really did me and my hair in but once I got a handle on all of that and really looked at my regimen and adjusted it, my hair started on the rebound.

One of the main things I had to do was cut down on trying everything that I saw mentioned on this site. LHCF is an oasis of knowledge but it does not mean you should try everything that is mentioned. Listen to and observe your hair and let it tell you what it needs. If you are getting the results that you want that is most of the battle, you just have to stay the course.

Simplifying my hair regimen, using only certain types of products, being consistent and protective styling were the trigger for my hair being healthy and consistently growing.

Don't be too hard on yourself and I can agree with the others, there are some out there that are viewing this thread and look at your beautiful hair and seeing green because of how healthy and long it is.

 

[Maynard]

I have been on this site for about a year and I think I spend too much time in OT and ENT. I still dont have a reggie.. :lurk:

I'm currently looking for a natural heads reggie to jack....

 

[glamazon386]

FAMUDiva, I can relate. I've been here for over 2 years and I have about the same amount of hair that I started with. I'd at least be APL possibly BSL by now if I hadn't chopped all my hair off and started over a year ago. It gets hard seeing all these long haired ladies all over the board and I feel like I'm bald headed.

 

[PinkPeony]

Awww Famu don't sweat it.
Your hair is beautiful

I made the mistake of setting myself unreachable goals when I first got here.
Like many others I found LHCF because my hair was JACKED up.
So when I saw that I could grow my hair long I figured I would get an inch of ng every month and my hair would take off immidiatly.
NOOOOO big mistake.

My pre-LHCF was so damaged that I eventually had to cut most of it off which set me back a good 8 months,but there was no way no how I could hold on to it.
So many LHCFers need to calculate their hairgoals not from the length they started out with but with less hair depending on their damage.
Sometimes you need to calculate as if you started your hair journey damn near bald b/c your hair is THAT damaged or b/c of all the setbacks you might have

You said your hair was healthy when you started out,healthy to what point?Healthy hair grows without bigger problems when properly protected.Your hair might have been healthy but if you weren't wearing protective styles your ends probably were worn out and damaged.

Now you got a whole head of healthy hair from root to the ends.
So as I said don't sweat it,your hair will thrive

 

[Keen]

Yeah, I will finally admit that I'm slightly jealous!

I've been here for almost 2 years and am no where near my goals. I had healthy hair when I came, then it went down hill from there for about a year while I was trying to figure out my reggie. Thankfully things FINALLY bounced back and now I have the health I had pre-LHCF (link in siggy of July07 update).

Why am I jealous you say? WELL, I'm super excited for my LHCF sisters that have met and exceeded their goals in the same amount of time, but I am just a tad bit jealous because I wish i were there too. I feel stupid for feeling this way, AND I feel silly for admitting it, but it's something I wanted to get off my chest for a long time.

Now that I have it off my chest, I guess it will be ANOTHER 2 years before I'll actually realize my own goals

Am I alone? :sigh:

Happy Growing Ladies

First of all, your hair is beautiful. I don't know how it looked when you first got here but it looks good now.

Second, all our hair are different. Don't be discourage. Find a regiment that works for you and stick with it. Most of the mistakes I've made are because I abandon my true tested regiments and chased after the latest and greatest.

 

[InnerSoul]

No you are not alone... I get jealous tooerplexed ..I am not proud of that but I am happy for all of my LHCF sisters that have reached their goals!! and one day I am hoping that I will reach mine.. especially since I just had a huge setback a couple of months ago.

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

I think that we have all been there at some point or another. Personally I am anal about seeing twa comparisons so I know how long I will have mine but I have come to realize that hair grows at different pace. My hair is thriving right now and has grown at least an inch all over and I have had my natural TWA for about 2 months. I now learn to admire and not hate....not cute to hate LOL

 

[Healthb4Length]

I can relate. I've been here for over 3 years and I'm no where near my goal. I see others who started with me how have surpased their goals, BC and surpased their goals again. Where am I? Stuck between APL and BSL for what seems like forever and a day. I do get a tinge bit jealous but mainly I'm happy for those who reached their goals...just waiting 'till it's my turn.

 

[gymfreak336]

I feel ya pain. Even though I know I have made great leaps of progress, I aways feel behind.I feel like by the time I reach apl, Lauren would have totally transistioned to waist length, Jlove will have reached bra-strap length,and Dlewis would be classic length. It's find with me though because we encourage each other here. We might fight in the OT room but we all encourage each other to keep moving foward. I will keep using these ladies as motivation to reach my goals because at some point in time, I am sure they felt just like me. They didn't quit so why should I.
You can do it FAMUDva!! I will be cheering you along the way as will everyone else

 

[pattycake0701]

Yeah, I will finally admit that I'm slightly jealous!

I've been here for almost 2 years and am no where near my goals. I had healthy hair when I came, then it went down hill from there for about a year while I was trying to figure out my reggie. Thankfully things FINALLY bounced back and now I have the health I had pre-LHCF (link in siggy of July07 update).

Why am I jealous you say? WELL, I'm super excited for my LHCF sisters that have met and exceeded their goals in the same amount of time, but I am just a tad bit jealous because I wish i were there too. I feel stupid for feeling this way, AND I feel silly for admitting it, but it's something I wanted to get off my chest for a long time.

Nope you're not alone. I've been here forever even though I decided to start posting not to long ago) and I'm STILL not at APL. And I have the nerve to have a goal of being at BSL by Dec 08.

Your hair looks healthy to me and at least you are at APL which seems to be the biggest hurdle.

 

[audacious1]

I feel the same way.

But it always helps when I look at join dates and see that folx with stunning hair have been around for a while. I first joined in Jan 06, but didn't get serious about hair until Nov 06... so I don't even have a full year of healthy hair care. I really can't expect to be that far.

Perspective helps for me. Speaking of which, are you tall? We all know that tall people have a longer journey to their goals. I have a friend, and we started growing our hair out at about the same time. Her hair (longest part) is 8 inches long, and she seems closer (a lot closer) to APL than I am despite the fact my longest hair strands are about 10 inches.

Either way, you'll reach your goals. I'm sure of it.

And you do look fabolous in your siggy pic. Where did you go this weekend?

 

[Sugar Brown]

Ummm, no you are not alone. I have been visiting this site since 2002. erplexed I went from a jacked up neck length natural (I used permanent color whenever the feeling hit me) to texturized ear length to bone straight APL. Then I went crazy and thought I would hide my hair under a weave to reach waist length. BIG MISTAKE. The weave was cute, but I didn't know how to take care of my hair under it and ended up with a nasty rat's nest...twice. *SIGH* I miss that hair.

I'm natural now and back to shoulder length. I AM DETERMINED TO MAKE IT TO NATURAL APL. I'm sure my hair woes have been the result of bad karma from taking too many lhcf tips and never sharing any. So, I figured I better get serious, nail a regime and come out of lurking. Keep hope alive.

 

[scorpian]

You are not alone....Your new siggy pic is gorgeous

 

[IntoMyhair]

I understand how you feel but at least you have progress now.

I myself don't really have a goal.
I like the length and thickness i have now and would be happy if it stays that way.

But may we all make some progess in the future.

 

[CurliDiva]

I soemtimes get discouraged as a natural because of shrinkage - it seemed that you had to strighten to show any true length gain. When I have these moments - I go back to my hair idols and stalk her albums or read all of their posts.

This may seem extreme but I helps me to pinpoint exactly how they take care of their hair! Also, I discovered that many folks have been growing out their hair for 3 or more years so I should not feel bad at barely the 2 year mark.

 

[LadyZ]

Your hair is beautiful and so are you...
For the ladies who are a little down because of their goals not met, I say Please do not worry over it and don''t sweat the small stuff... Life is short, enjoy the beautiful, carefree, worry free days, that God has given you... I know from experience there will come many days of worry...

You are young and beautiful... Enjoy it....

PS. Want to trade place with me an old wanna be young again woman like me... Just kidding...

 

[FAMUDva]

I feel your pain girlfriend..I am at APL and haven't moved in YEARS.. I am SO frustrated!!..anyway it for me it isn't jealousy, more frustration but we have to keep it moving...FAMUDIVA as soon as I find the quickfix I am telling the world(lol)...

Girl, I'mma have my ears wide open!

 

[OneInAMillion]

I'm not any where near my goal either (I'm at least 1-2 years away), but when I look at some of my favorite heads of hair around here it took them took 3-4 years to reach goal. I've just resigned that it's gonna take that long. I've even toyed with the idea of not doing any length checks until the end of 2008! I haven't totally committed to that one tho. :wink2: I think it's pretty normal for it to be 4 years before you're solidly at goal.

ITA with everything you said and I'm taking the same approach too. I know it's going to take a long time to reach my length goals and I see that my hair doesn't always grow down, like most people. It just keeps getting thicker and length is taking longer to accumulate, if that makes any sense erplexed. It's just important to remember that every head of hair is going to grow differently. Taking progress pictures has helped me to see that there is progress, but it's going to take a while.

With that said, I also wanted to mention that it's important to remain diligent with the regimen that's been working for you, even when you don't feel like it or don't feel like you've made as much progress as others. I can't say that I'm jealous of those that reach their goals sooner, because I love how far my hair has come and I know how to reach my goals.

 

[FAMUDva]

You look absolutely radiant in your signature picture! You have great skin.

I have had setbacks myself...but at least your hair is on track now and you'll get there soon enough. A watched pot never boils...which makes it even that more frustrating. As for your frustration....well....here's a big 'ole hug

Thank you Lady E
I don't even watch it anymore... These days I don't really do anything crazy and finally it's growing and maintaining growth just fine. I guess I just wish I would have known it sooner. Had I bypassed all the rituals as soon as I saw they weren't working for me, I should have stopped. But hey, we live and we learn... And as some say "it's just hair". Slap the NEXT person that says that ish to one of Niko's cousins!