Does any natural feel less attractive when hair is un-straightened?

[carib_n_curly]

i feel great either way BUT i feel more like myself with it all puffy,frizzy ,curly hair maybe cause i've only straightened my hair 4 times in my life so it's still a odd feeling for me.
i'm not use to straight hair i've never had a relaxer ever so when i think about myself my i see my fro as part of me.

i didn't feel comfortable with wearing my fro out when i first started doing it but now i doi just don't care if you don't like my hair i like it

 

[RegaLady]

I voted for straight( but not pinned straight) hair! I think I voted this because I have aways worn my hair short, and short hair looks better straight, IMO! As I gain more length, I like it with texture. My DH and family don't think straight hair flatters me. I don't either. I love texture. I feel more me with texture! So maybe I should voted for both!

 

[Ebony Majesty]

I feel like I 'blend' into the background with straight hair

 

[tinkat]

I feel the most comfortable with my hair unstraightened because that is me. I love my kinky, coily hair.

 

[Country gal]

I can rock both styles. I get more attention with straighter, longer hair.

 

[Southernbella.]

I would say "other". I feel more confident/beautiful when I change my hair. So when I straighten, I feel more confident and beautiful than I did in the preceding days.

Once I wash my hair and style it in it's kinky state, I once again feel a surge of confidence and feel more beautiful than in the preceding days.

I hope that makes sense. It's just like how you feel great when you leave the salon because you just got your hair done. After awhile, that feeling wears off until you get it freshly done again. It doesn't really matter what state it's in...it's the newness of it that makes the difference for me.

 

[Nonie]

I'm w/ Poohbear: I feel the same whether my hair is straight or coily. Need I add that being able to rock either style any time I want makes me feel extra good about myself?

 

[Southernbella.]

It's been a journey, but I now feel just as sexy with my natural hair. Actually, as it's getting longer, I'm feeling sexier with it natural. If I ever get to my goal length, y'all won't be able to tell me nuttin'!!

Girl, who you telling? I can't wait until my natural unstretched hair is down my back.

 

[clarity2008]

I do not neccessarily feel less attractive. I feel like myself with curly hair. Its just fits me. But on the rare occasion that I do straighten my hair, I do feel sexier. And I find that I get more attention with straight hair.

 

[Napp]

i only feel confident with nappy hair. i just cant get with straight hair. it always looks odd on me no matter what style and i always feel self conscious about it. i might change my view once i get some length but im not counting on it.

 

[Southernbella.]

I don't feel as attractive though when my hair is straight or if I have on a straight wig or half wig. I feel diminished somehow, if that makes sense. It's like I don't embrace my full power unless I'm kinky curly with a fro or a twist out. I don't even like to bun my natural hair. I just want to be a lioness. Roarrrr!

I was telling my friend the other day that when my hair is straightened and I see other naturals in their kinky state, I feel inferior. I want to run up to them and say "I'm natural too!"

 

[felicia]

I feel the same way that you do, but I think it's mostly due to length. Im used to having long hair.

 

[almond eyes]

I tend to agree with the statement, that's it's about the style. I am African and grew up with natural haired ladies most of my life. When I wear my hair straight and pressed, the only time I get a compliment is when it is poofy and bouncy with curls. I get tons of compliments about my natural hair regardless of the length. I think the key again is a good hairstyle that suits your face, working your entire look (clothes and skincare/make-up), making sure your hair is properly moisturised so your style looks good and of course, not giving a damned what other people think. Dr. Wayne Dyer who wrote "The Power of Intention" always says that people should not based their opinions on others. I know so many women that are desperate to get out of the relaxer and hair extension rut because their hair is getting more damaged by the day and they are so concerned with what other people think that they continue to carry on with very bad hair practises and won't give their hair a break. I know it's hard to wear an unflattering hair style or have people see you in a way that they aren't used to but sometimes that's life, you cannot just always keep up appearances for others. I had a bad rash on my face once for two months from contact dermatitis. I did not stop going out or going to work because of that. Yes, it was embarassing but I focused on other aspects of my life that I was grateful for. And when I wasn't even thinking about it the rash disappeared.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[RegaLady]

I would say "other". I feel more confident/beautiful when I change my hair. So when I straighten, I feel more confident and beautiful than I did in the preceding days.

Once I wash my hair and style it in it's kinky state, I once again feel a surge of confidence and feel more beautiful than in the preceding days.

I hope that makes sense. It's just like how you feel great when you leave the salon because you just got your hair done. After awhile, that feeling wears off until you get it freshly done again. It doesn't really matter what state it's in...it's the newness of it that makes the difference for me.

ITAAAAAAAAAAA! I think you hit the nail on the head for me, and why I can't stay in one style for tooooo long! You have helped me out, with saying this!

 

[Southernbella.]

ITAAAAAAAAAAA! I think you hit the nail on the head for me, and why I can't stay in one style for tooooo long! You have helped me out, with saying this!

Oh good! It made sense in my head, but it looked weird when I typed it.

That's me too. It's so hard for me to keep a style for more than a week. Even though I love twists, two weeks in them is torture. When I straighten, I get tired of it after 3 days, but it's a waste of 3 hours flat ironing just to wash it out again. I never felt that way when I was relaxed, but I guess now that I have options, I feel I must use them all.

 

[almond eyes]

The issue is really about self-confidence. No doubt a bad or unflaterring hairstyle or damaged hair is not going to make any woman feel good, but I think women on a whole are always sizing each other up and concerned about what men like. When I was in the States for my vacation, my cousin who is loves her relaxers and is obsessed with black women who have long hair that is relaxed, was even feeling bad about herself when we were at a party. Many of the women had natural big hair and they were working it and she started to feel like her long straight hair was pretty plain. That made me ticklish with delight.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Nonie]

I was telling my friend the other day that when my hair is straightened and I see other naturals in their kinky state, I feel inferior. I want to run up to them and say "I'm natural too!"

Too funny Lauren!

 

[rabs77]

Not at all,I feel my fiercest, when I rock my hair big and curly

 

[discodumpling]

As some ladies have already expressed, there is just something about wearing my hair au natural that makes me feel like a Queen. I throw my shoulders back and puff out my chest that much more.

I straightened once...and promptly put my hair in a bun and scarf. It was so thin and limp I couldn't wait to wash my napps back in.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I didn't vote in the poll. I dunno, I guess it just didn't fit for me.

I love my hair both curly and straight and I feel equally beautiful.

I can say I feel sexier when my hair is straighter and more fun and carefree when my hair is curly.

Good thread, OP.

 

[ebonylocs]

I'm kind of transitioning now, and I've worn my hair natural maybe most of my life, and I would say I feel most attractive when the length and volume of my hair is on display.

So that's not necessarily when it's straightened. For e.g. when I was wearing a big fluffy braidout, I felt like the bomb.

 

[RegaLady]

Oh good! It made sense in my head, but it looked weird when I typed it.

That's me too. It's so hard for me to keep a style for more than a week. Even though I love twists, two weeks in them is torture. When I straighten, I get tired of it after 3 days, but it's a waste of 3 hours flat ironing just to wash it out again. I never felt that way when I was relaxed, but I guess now that I have options, I feel I must use them all.

Oh goodness, as my hair grows longer and I get naturalier(if that makes sense), I guess I got a problem on my hands! That's why I try to stay away from braids and sew ins that I pay money for, because I know I want them in only for a while. But, I guess I will have to find cheap alternatives for changing this hair!

 

[Dak]

I have a very large forehead and a very long neck. I like how I can style straight hair to de-emphasize those features, when I wear my hair curly, I can side part it and have hair more on my face for a photo but the reality is that my curly hair usually ends up in a pony tail, which is more of a severe style for my face.

I like my curls, I've just never learned how to style my curls for my face.

 

[SoAnxious12]

i think my straight hair is sexier to OTHERS, but my curls make me happier. The length of my straigtened hair makes me feel sexy but not the actual texture.

 

[BrockStar]

Hmmm interesting question since my hair is straight right now. I think my straight hair is cool and something different, but I love my curls. It makes me feel unique and it's more naturally me

 

[mxdchiq86]

my hair texture dosen't make me feel more or less attractive but, they do have different feels. straight hair makes me feel more glamorous/sophisticated.. while my curly hair makes me feel more exotic and natural (of course). which i perfer over the other, depends on my mood.

 

[Paradox]

Or am I the only one?

Just thought I would also mention that I have no deep underlying self hatred for myself or my culture. I love being who I am. I recognize that I have other great attributes besides being black, and sometimes the world takes that superficial characteristic at first glance and defines you solely based upon that fact. But of course I'm going on a tangent here. Let me bring things back full circle.....

I just can't seem to wrap my mind around these feelings I feel. Why am I not COMPLETELY comfortable with wearing my hair naturally kinky? I also don't understand why I find myself less attractive when my hair is unstraightened.

Does anyone else feel the same way?
Let's talk ladies...

This explains me soo much which is alittle disturbing since i know so much about the history of black people and our culture/ hair/struggle. I feel that I may be more extreme than you, because I don't even like looking at myself in the mirror when I have my hair in a braidout. And when someone compliments my braidouts i feel happy intiatly and then think they are lying. I feel more attractive with straight hair..in fact I even asked this exact same question on yahooanswers. I am trying to get used to it, even and continue to stay away from heat until december. However I get a better response with my hair straightened, i feel more confident, and I don't feel like the ugly friend like I do right now. Sorry if I sound really pathetic, I am working on it.

 

[a_ caribbean_dream]

I understand where you're coming from, OP. I think it is the reactions of others that can make us naturals feel uncomfortable. My SO says nothing when I wear my hair natural, which is, about oh, 49 weeks out of the year. But the minute I straighten it, he is all grins and compliments. I straightened it this past week and you would not believe how many people at work stopped me and complimented me. That's them..

For ME, I loooooooove my natural hair. I adore it, reverence it and apologize that I ever srtaightened it and didn't have faith in its beauty. It's who I really am. I don't have to duck in and out of the shower, I can hop in the steam room or sauna and relax. I can work out at the gym, outside, with my SO and its all good - no worries about reverting.

OP, you're not crazy. The reactions are out there to make us feel uncomfortable..to conform. It's just the subtle and not so subtle ways people react and the things they say. We are all human and can get the negativity in our system.

But I have never seen a sister that didn't look better rocking her natural hair than a relaxed head. To ME, it feels right and looks like she is walking in her heritage and natural glory...to ME.

Ok your post has put me on the path to clearing things up. Thanks so much love. I believe the reactions of others has affected how I ultimately feel. I get little to no compliments when my hair is in its unmanipulated natural state.

Rollerset, flexi-rod, or straightened = mega compliments from strangers, friends, and family. And conformity is probably the pressure I am feeling right now esp being with an overwhelming amount of white women in grad school now. Conformity is defintely it.

 

[The Savvy Sistah]

To be honest I feel more attractive, sophisticated and sexy when my hair is straight.

When my hair is natural I feel more laid back, like when you relax on the weekend.

I feel that it has something to do with the length though.

Once I get to BSL natural, I'm sure I'll feel different.

 

[a_ caribbean_dream]

This explains me soo much which is alittle disturbing since i know so much about the history of black people and our culture/ hair/struggle. I feel that I may be more extreme than you, because I don't even like looking at myself in the mirror when I have my hair in a braidout. And when someone compliments my braidouts i feel happy intiatly and then think they are lying. I feel more attractive with straight hair..in fact I even asked this exact same question on yahooanswers. I am trying to get used to it, even and continue to stay away from heat until december. However I get a better response with my hair straightened, i feel more confident, and I don't feel like the ugly friend like I do right now. Sorry if I sound really pathetic, I am working on it.

I feel this way sometimes. I'm happy to know I am not alone... What were the yahoo answers responses?