Hair...The Black Woman's Curse?

[DragonPearl]

yes. this is how i usually wear my hair... either that, or up in a puff. now if i were less knowledgeable about natural hair, i'd probably rip thru my hair on detangling day and get done faster, but ruin my ends. instead i detangle once a week in sections... yes it takes me a little over an hour erplexed but then i don't mess with my hair for another week so that's how i justify it.

Oh, and you sleep on it like that for like 7 days?

 

[nodisrespect]

I have said it before, our 4 a/b hair requires more conscious care to retain length. I don't take this as a put down of our hair or as a reason to feel inferior to non-blacks.

I am sure orchids and roses that require more care to grow and flourish don't think they are less beautiful than wild flowers that grow without care.

Am I the only one who saw the beauty AND the cleverness in this here?

Look

At the end of the day every race has its advantages and disadvantages when it comes to cosmetic issues.
I don't think any of it is a curse

Okay, so it might be easier for other races to retain length. On a scientific biological level their hair has characteristics that do make it easier. So what? That doesn't mean we can't have it long and strong, that just means we have to have regimes that take in account these factors and stay consistent with what every works. Thats it...End of Story, It isn't that serious

Think about it this way......Black women as a whole have better skin....We all know the saying, black don't crack. While I see more older black women looking better than their white counterparts, it doesn't mean that a white women can't age gracefully. They might have to use a higher SPF, start anti-aging treatments at an earlier age but that doesn't mean she can't retain great skin if she puts the work it. Our hair is no different. I personally love the fact that we have great skin genetics. You can buy some hair, you can't really buy great skin.

Indian women have great hair as well but they also have problems with body hair and hyperpigmentation as well.

Bottom line..... You can have it all, great skin, nice hair, nice nails but you might have to work harder for it in some areas but isn't that like with everything in life.
__________________

I posted this is in the other thread so I wanted to post this here too

I don't understand why some people are taking it as a bad thing to describe black hair as different. How could anyone deny our hair is not the same as whites, hispanics, and asians? I'm slightly less astonished but equally dismayed to see comments that claim curly hair can retain length equally as easily as straight hair... I will have to go and get some hardcore scientific facts to back this one up, because I am sure I have read otherwise...

While I do that, ladylibra may I ask you a question? What is it that led you to this board if your hair grows and retains length naturally with no specific or consistent routines? Or do you have a certain kind of hair that is different from mine and many of the other women on this board who have to take conscious care in order to maintain our hair and length? I hope you do not take this sarcastically, because I don't mean it that way, but please tell me why it is that your black hair grows effortlessly and most of ours do not?

 

[gymfreak336]

Am I the only one who saw the beauty AND the cleverness in this here?





I don't understand why some people are taking it as a bad thing to describe black hair as different. How could anyone deny our hair is not the same as whites, hispanics, and asians? I'm slightly less astonished but equally dismayed to see comments that claim curly hair can retain length equally as easily as straight hair... I will have to go and get some hardcore scientific facts to back this one up, because I am sure I have read otherwise...

And this is why I am very thankful that I live in this day in age where so much science has gone into understand hair and making better quality products as a result. With the heat technology and everything else, this is one of the best times to be in cosmetically speaking. There is so much we know now and have acess too.

 

[ladylibra]

Oh, and you sleep on it like that for like 7 days?

yes ma'am. on a satin pillowcase. i do co-wash thru the week, but no additional styling.

 

[trini_rican]

And this is why I am very thankful that I live in this day in age where so much science has gone into understand hair and making better quality products as a result. With the heat technology and everything else, this is one of the best times to be in cosmetically speaking. There is so much we know now and have acess too.

Soooo true.

 

[Mystic]

Not so sure about this. I have seen white coke addicts, unhealthy eaters with long, bouncy healthy hair. I have seen blacks who eat healthily and take vitamins like it's going out of style and their hair hardly seem to grow. Every individual is different - it's hard to generalize the way you have.

Actually, white women are more healthy than average black women because of their diets. Proven fact. And they have better nutrition and take more vitamins than the average black woman does. Which will explain the hair growth. Usually white woman with terrible diets do not have the best looking natural hair or skin.

 

[gymfreak336]

Soooo true.

I love my skin and hair science. My family already has great genetics when ti comes to skin but now, with the products you can even get a drug store I am going to look ULTRA SEXY come 65

Genetics loads the gun but the environment pulls the trigger

 

[trini_rican]

Yes there are pockets of purely black latinos, but most latinos are mixed. If I see a dark latino in the streets of Santo Domingo, I have no way of knowing what her mixture is so I can't use her to illustrate anything about 4 a/b hair.

People of Ethiopian and Soudanese descent also have had a lot of intermixing with other groups due to the pivotal location of their countries. Aborigenes of Australia, most of them have hair that's not 4a/b.

And African Americans have no intermixing???? Okaaaaaay!

Here's where we'll agree to disagree.... or else we could be here all night

 

[trini_rican]

I love my skin and hair science. My family already has great genetics when ti comes to skin but now, with the products you can even get a drug store I am going to look ULTRA SEXY come 65

Genetics loads the gun but the environment pulls the trigger

Girlie, check out the latest photos of Stacey Dash on the cover of King! I'm like - ok Mama gotta get to work on skin and body because I aspire!!!

 

[DragonPearl]

yes ma'am. on a satin pillowcase. i do co-wash thru the week, but no additional styling.

Good for you.

I can't do that with my 5a/b hair.

 

[trini_rican]

yes ma'am. on a satin pillowcase. i do co-wash thru the week, but no additional styling.

OT - I love your hair...back to our regularly scheduled program

 

[ladylibra]

Genetics loads the gun but the environment pulls the trigger

wow.. POWERFUL quote!!!

 

[gymfreak336]

Girlie, check out the latest photos of Stacey Dash on the cover of King! I'm like - ok Mama gotta get to work on skin and body because I aspire!!!

Oh, I peeped that already. I am pulling out one of my Taebo DVDs 2NITE!! I sent the pic to my SO, All he said was that was a BAAADDDDD ****!

 

[gymfreak336]

wow.. POWERFUL quote!!!

I got that from a scientist, Her first name is Judith, I don't remember her last name right now. That statement can be applied to just about all issues, mental health, illness etc...

 

[nodisrespect]

gymfreak are you now or ever have been perhaps a psych major? This is the second time I've thought that reading your comments.

ladylibra, I edited my post so maybe you didn't see my question? I'll post it again just in case:

While I do that, ladylibra may I ask you a question? What is it that led you to this board if your hair grows and retains length naturally with no specific or consistent routines? Or do you have a certain kind of hair that is different from mine and many of the other women on this board who have to take conscious care in order to maintain our hair and length? I hope you do not take this sarcastically, because I don't mean it that way, but please tell me why it is that your black hair grows effortlessly and most of ours do not?

 

[ladylibra]

Good for you.

I can't do that with my 5a/b hair.

nothing wrong with that! and truth be told, i'd probably be better off in protective styles. but just like some women can eat any and everything and still be skinny, whereas others say a doughnut makes them gain 10 lbs. instantly.

do you have a Fotki? if so i'm off to peekd at your pics...

 

[trini_rican]

Oh, I peeped that already. I am pulling out one of my Taebo DVDs 2NITE!! I sent the pic to my SO, All he said was that was a BAAADDDDD ****!

I just showed my DH and brother and their eyes nearly came out of the sockets She's a beauty. I can't do Tae Bo yet but when I drop this baby, Lord have mercy! I got some work to do.

 

[DragonPearl]

And African Americans have no intermixing???? Okaaaaaay!

Here's where we'll agree to disagree.... or else we could be here all night

Sure AA have intermixing. But when it comes to Ethiopians, Sudaneses and Erythreans, I usually can tell who they are when I see them here in the Bay Area. Most (NOT ALL) have a certain look and they have a certain type of hair.

And no, I don't want to be there all night either.

 

[gymfreak336]

gymfreak are you now or ever have been perhaps a psych major? This is the second time I've thought that reading your comments.

ladylibra, I edited my post so maybe you didn't see my question? I'll post it again just in case:

No, never been but psych interest me. I am a biochem student currently but I might be full fledged biology this fall. I have enough chem credits to finish with a minor in chem.

The thing that interests me the most about people and their thought processes is the lack of deductive reasoning and critical thinking skills people use.

 

[gymfreak336]

I just showed my DH and brother and their eyes nearly came out of the sockets She's a beauty. I can't do Tae Bo yet but when I drop this baby, Lord have mercy! I got some work to do.

Congrads on the baby!

 

[Qetesh]

Am I the only one who saw the beauty AND the cleverness in this here?





I don't understand why some people are taking it as a bad thing to describe black hair as different. How could anyone deny our hair is not the same as whites, hispanics, and asians? I'm slightly less astonished but equally dismayed to see comments that claim curly hair can retain length equally as easily as straight hair... I will have to go and get some hardcore scientific facts to back this one up, because I am sure I have read otherwise...

While I do that, ladylibra may I ask you a question? What is it that led you to this board if your hair grows and retains length naturally with no specific or consistent routines? Or do you have a certain kind of hair that is different from mine and many of the other women on this board who have to take conscious care in order to maintain our hair and length? I hope you do not take this sarcastically, because I don't mean it that way, but please tell me why it is that your black hair grows effortlessly and most of ours do not?

i didnt make the comment but i do find that my hair grows very effortlessly. i recently cut it from waistlength and i see it being back at waistlength again if i dont get it cut again. with that being said i do feel that our hair is harder to RETAIN length then other races, chiefly because it likes to tangle against itself so much and tends to grow out rather then down. this tangling makes breakage easier not to mention the extreme curls can break just from being so curly.

i think with proper retaining of hair and assuming your growth rate isnt low all black hair will grow effortlessly... one thing too is relaxed hair is going to be a constant battle because u are going against your natural texture and you are stripping the hair and weakening it. natural hair will not show its length as much since our hair grows out more so than down.


overall to the OP i dont feel black hair is a curse at all if anything its a blessing, we can achieve EVERY look, from straight 1 to 3c's to whatever natural texture you happen to be. our hair IMO also appears thicker which is very attractive to me. i think the OP may feel its soo hard because like others said she is going against nature to achieve a look that is not inherent to her and of course thats going to be hard, just like if all white women with straight hair teased and attempted to get a fro daily. the issue is more with the texture she WANTs but doesn't have its hard to achieve what white people inherently have.

 

[DragonPearl]

nothing wrong with that! and truth be told, i'd probably be better off in protective styles. but just like some women can eat any and everything and still be skinny, whereas others say a doughnut makes them gain 10 lbs. instantly.

do you have a Fotki? if so i'm off to peekd at your pics...

I used to have hair albums, not anymore. I'd have to find some pics of my hair after shrinkage, you'll see what I'm talking about.

My hair has been APL for the longest now. Yes I could wear twists everyday, and sleep with bonnet, and moisturize my ends regularly, etc, and I am sure if I did, my hair would have made it to BSL and past that, but I haven't done those things as a regular practice for a couple of years now. I am content at APL. If and when I get a strong urge for BSL, I will do the extra stuff I need to do to make it happen. I still HAVE to do stuff like no combing hair when dry, washing hair in sections and immediately put hair in some containing hairstyle after washing, I flatiron rarely, and never blow dry, condition religiously, and all these things have helped my hair make it to APL. None of my non-black friends have to take these precautions.

 

[anon123]

And the other argument about how some of us are fighting against what our hair should do is not exactly true either. Because if that was the case, then we should have these huge gigantic afros hanging on our heads or our hair being super long, if it's in braids.

I bet you if you wore your hair in braids (your own hair, not fake hair) and just took them down to detangle once a month or two, your hair would grow long fast. About the afro, I said it a couple times but I guess no one has read it. I still think a big afro is not what my hair was meant to do. I enjoy this style but it is a style prone to tangling and breakage. It's the symbol of natural black hair in this country, but really it's not a style to be worn everyday. So I ask myself, what styles would not be prone to breakage? The answer is locs. If I want long hair without any hassle, I can have it any time, all I have to do is loc and wash and add some moisturizer. If I don't want locs but still want hassle-free hair, I can cut it very low and have a twa. There are ways for us to not fight with our hair, there are ways for our hair to grow long with ease, we just don't choose them. And that's fine, I haven't made that choice, either. But it's false to say the option of hair that doesn't fight with us or hair that doesn't grow long with ease aren't available to black women.

 

[trini_rican]

Congrads on the baby!

Thanks!! It's my third, and last the baby girl that I've always wanted. Truly a blessing from God.

OT - You have a very eloquent way of saying things. You should consider writing professionally.

 

[ladylibra]

ladylibra, I edited my post so maybe you didn't see my question? I'll post it again just in case:

sorry i did miss your question!

i do not take it as sarcasm at all. but my hair growth journey started when i went natural. before, i was relaxing my hair, using heat on a daily basis (flat iron PLUS curling iron), and had been coloring my hair for 3 months. although my hair grew relatively 5-6 inches in a year, i had to cut any length i saw because my hair was always dry and full of split ends. except for when i was a little girl, my relaxed hair never grew longer than APL.

basically, when i went natural i eliminated the 2 major contributors to my inability to grow long hair - chemical straighteners and heat abuse. generally speaking, i think most of us on the board grow 4-6 inches a year. the key is retaining that length. i personally have found that the KISS method is key for me - the less i do to my hair, the more it thrives. my hair's main desire is moisture, and co-washing takes care of that (so much so, that i had to start doing protein treatments because i was overdoing it and my hair got mushy erplexed ).

now i'm not saying everyone's hair problems will be solved by going natural... chances are if i had come here first instead of Nappturality, i might still be relaxed and trying to grow my hair out... and i would have to put more conscious care into my tresses. this is what works best for me. i know many other ladies on here who have been relaxed and natural, and prefer being relaxed because it's less maintenance and work. to each her own.

 

[anon123]

I think you need to take a trip to the islands. You'd be pleasantly surprised. Especially in Santo Domingo. All day every day. Dark beauties with long luscious 4a-c hair down to the waist.

Without wearing twists or braids or buns or some protective style? On hair like mine? Then please let me know the secret. I would love to be able to wear my hair out and have it not cause me stress and have it still grow!

LL, your hair is lovely and I totally, in a not secret way, envy your ability to wear it out all the time and have it not mat and turn into locks. I don't think you're a 4a/b though.

 

[ladylibra]

OT - I love your hair...back to our regularly scheduled program

thank you! and you know i love yours too

 

[ladylibra]

Without wearing twists or braids or buns or some protective style? On hair like mine? Then please let me know the secret. I would love to be able to wear my hair out and have it not cause me stress and have it still grow!

LL, your hair is lovely and I totally, in a not secret way, envy your ability to wear it out all the time and have it not mat and turn into locks. I don't think you're a 4a/b though.

oh perhaps that's why Jessy was looking at me like

i'm 4a, the front is a tad looser and no one has been able to tell me if it is is definitely 3c or just a looser 4a. but it's the LOOSER hair that acts up the most... the 4a hair is very well-behaved compared to it...

 

[lovelymissyoli]

I used to feel this way in college. My roomie and BFF was a white chick who would cut her hair like twice a year. I'd always ask "why'd u cut it" and she would say, "it gets in the way. I tried to roll over in my sleep last night and got caught in my hair". So, she would cut it up to neck length and in 3 months (literally) she'd be damn near APL. I always thought it was unfair that I was sleeping in satin scarves, balancing moisture and protein, dusting my split ends, etc., all while achieving little growth. All she would do is wash a few times a week and she had major growth, no breakage issues or anything. I've learned a lot more about MY hair since then, but i definitely feel where u were coming from. I've had to battle myself on this issue before, as well.

This is what I've been dealing with lately. I don't think black women's hair texture is a "curse" (that's a harsh way of looking at it), I just don't understand why we have to go through so much to keep hair on our heads and gain length --- relaxed or natural!! When I was natural I couldn't wear a puff everyday if I wanted my hair to grow... I had to keep it twisted. I also had to wash n' go in intervals because detangling would be horrible if I did it everyday. I still had to protect my ends, use no heat, moisturize, deep condition, do protein treatments, clip split ends, etc as a NATURAL. And now that I'm texlaxed, I still have to do the SAME thing! And for what, 1/4" a month?!

 

[trini_rican]

Without wearing twists or braids or buns or some protective style? On hair like mine? Then please let me know the secret. I would love to be able to wear my hair out and have it not cause me stress and have it still grow!

LL, your hair is lovely and I totally, in a not secret way, envy your ability to wear it out all the time and have it not mat and turn into locks. I don't think you're a 4a/b though.

I'm a 4a but that's due to a long period of wear and tear on my hair. I had waist length hair but it was unhealthy. I was a 3b/c but I dyed black every 6 weeks (I'm talking permanent dye)since I was 17 I'm 33 now. Blow dried daily - you name it I did it. I hated my curly hair and wanted it straighter or wavy (not so bushy) and eventually I ruined it with trying to dye my hair red (auburn) it came out so bad. It was totally fried. I had to cut it to my shoulders. I learned though. Now I can't wear it out all the time but I do wear it out. The bunning is quick and easy. Because my hair is so dry from all the years of coloring I have to do more now than ever in my life but it's a lesson learned. I'm back to doing it how they do in the islands, natural hair care products. Little heat once a month at most. As one previous poster put it we ALL (as women) have our own issues with our hair. Even Asians, Middle Easterners, and whites.