He said he doesn't want to marry a stranger...

[tthreat08]

Okay so I've been trying to decide on my wedding hair as my wedding is 68 days away (yay!)...and I'd opted to get a weave to avoid hair frizz and honeymoon fuss...but when my boo got wind of the weave chatter, he said "Please show up to our wedding as yourself. I don't want to turn around and see someone I've never met". My thing is that I'm not going to go CRAAAAAZY in the weave chair. Yeah, I was planning to get it (waist length) longer than my hair (1 inch from bra strap). However, I was also planning to have nice full curls, so the length wouldn't be outrageously unnatural looking from the norm. I've now decided on an updo anyway after considering the detail in the back of my dress would be competing with the hair....

But my question to you all is, is your man a "weave-a phobe"? Why do you suppose this is if so? I mean, let's face it...men are VERY visual. If it looks good, they tend to like it. So why do they always front saying they don't like weaves, when (in my opionion) they are attracted to women that have them?

 

[glamazon386]

Some men just don't like weaves. I mean of course most men like long hair, but it's even better if it's your own hair. I've dated a few who said that up front but that was before they found out that my hair was fake. Foot went right in the mouth. I think as long as it looks good, they don't mind for the most part. However, if they are used to you having your own hair out and it's long they don't see the point in the weave. I guess it's like bringing sand to the beach.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

Some men just don't like weaves. I mean of course most men like long hair, but it's even better if it's your own hair. I've dated a few who said that up front but that was before they found out that my hair was fake. Foot went right in the mouth. I think as long as it looks good, they don't mind for the most part. However, if they are used to you having your own hair out and it's long they don't see the point in the weave. I guess it's like bringing sand to the beach.

That's true. I've had guys who were against yada yada and yada, but once they see you in it, it's a different story. I've have boyfriends who are totally against me getting twist extensions, or whatever, but then they see it and they're whistling a different tune. Men are strange creatures .

 

[spiceykitten]

Threat:

Now I know all the ladies gave you advice on getting a weave. I did not want to say anything but I will now.

I am so against a weave. I rather wear a bun or ponytail attachment if I was you. First, a weave may cause you some damage and second not to be naughty but it is your wedding. I think your man would want to get romantic and put his hands through your hair.

I know my man loves putting his hands in my hair. I am sure he would be upset if we were getting romantic and he was feeling tracks

I have always believed in what you see is what you get and that you work what you got.

Maybe the ladies have better answers for you but I would not do the weave. I am on your man side about this one.

 

[texasqt]

It's funny you posted this! I had a similar discussion with my fiancee this weekend and his comment regarding up-dos was "that's not natural, having your hair frozen on your head like a helmet." He's the complete opposite. He prefers the hair down and soft and flowing - didn't say much about the length or whether it had to be real/fake though. He just said he likes me

 

[HoneyDew]

My man is like that.

I actually really want to get braids or a weave and he has made it known that he wants me to me to only wear what's mine - nails and hair - long or short.

He has no problem with braids for vacation or something like that. But other than that he wants it to be all me.

 

[HoneyDew]

It's funny you posted this! I had a similar discussion with my fiancee this weekend and his comment regarding up-dos was "that's not natural, having your hair frozen on your head like a helmet." He's the complete opposite. He prefers the hair down and soft and flowing - didn't say much about the length though.

Updos don't have to to be gelled and frozen. (Actually I hate those myself) Does he like nice sexy soft updos?

 

[PaperClip]

Okay so I've been trying to decide on my wedding hair as my wedding is 68 days away (yay!)...and I'd opted to get a weave to avoid hair frizz and honeymoon fuss...but when my boo got wind of the weave chatter, he said "Please show up to our wedding as yourself. I don't want to turn around and see someone I've never met". My thing is that I'm not going to go CRAAAAAZY in the weave chair. Yeah, I was planning to get it (waist length) longer than my hair (1 inch from bra strap). However, I was also planning to have nice full curls, so the length wouldn't be outrageously unnatural looking from the norm. I've now decided on an updo anyway after considering the detail in the back of my dress would be competing with the hair....

But my question to you all is, is your man a "weave-a phobe"? Why do you suppose this is if so? I mean, let's face it...men are VERY visual. If it looks good, they tend to like it. So why do they always front saying they don't like weaves, when (in my opiopion) they are attracted to women that have them?

I think men don't like to be surprised, e.g., caught off guard, esp. on a day of such significance (Congrats to y'all!). Some women have BLOWN the weave strategy because they made such DRAMATIC choices... going from a Halle signature cut to a Diana Ross 'do in a three-hour time span is not "logical" from a beauty enhancement standpoint. Hair simply doesn't grow that fast. Ultimately, I really don't think the brothers care that much. They just want us to look good....

But now that I think about it, I do know one lady whose husband is probably a weave-a-phobe! He doesn't want her in weaves AT ALL. He barely tolerates a head scarf. Hmmm....

You could get a weave at your length (or sllliigghtttllyy longer) and he probably would have been none the wiser (per se).

ETA: the weave is nice to have for a vacation/honeymoon because you don't have to worry about sweating out your own hair and keeping it up if it gets wet, protects from the sun, etc. Part of my vacation/honeymoon plan is to put that hair in some kind of weave so I don't have to deal with it! (Smile!)

 

[Hidden_Angel]

tell him to suck it up and let ou enjoy yourself ..

 

[XXXtacy]

My dh lets me do anything I want to my hair. (Like he could really stop me.) I have wearing a weave for a little over a year and a half. I have my natural hair down until I get my last weave at the end of the month. My hair is all over my head in its raw Thing 1 & 2, heat miser and Don King role. He keeps his hands in my hair. Now I make him put coconut or emu oil on his hands before he strokes my hair and he loves it.

I guess I am just realizing that he wasn't too happy with weave. He like to play in my natural hair and call me Chocolate Thunder. (knickname of Thing 1 or 2 in the cat in the hat.) Yeah, I think he is a weave snob.

 

[ritzbitz78]

Congratulations and May God bless you on your wedding. When we got married my now DH didn't care much about the details of our wedding, he was supportive though. He did have very few requests though, one of which was that I look as close to myself as possible: no fake nails, no obvious makeup, no weaves. and he didn't want to see me on the day of the wedding before we got married (no picture taking before).


I was more than happy to give him this. I took it as a huge compliment. He likes me the way I am. I think men getting married are going through a lot of change in their life and it comes to a head on the wedding day. It is nice to have their best friend bride look recognizable amongst the parade of flowers and tuxes and fluff and drama that goes on throughout the day.


You are his focal point, on that day and the rest of your life. Let him have his wish with no bickering or itching with a b.


I wore my hair in his favorite hairstyle (3 day old rollerset all down, looking curlywavy), I didn't even need a hairstylist (just a lot of hairspray to keep it looking that way)

 

[HoneyDew]

Maybe the ladies have better answers for you but I would not do the weave. I am on your man side about this one.

I agree! Show your pretty hair for your wedding.

 

[scorpian]

My hubby hates weaves but loves braid extensions erplexed

Anyway,for my wedding even though he initially said he wouldn't like it I had a full weave pulled up into an updo and he loved it . He says he liked the hair for the occasion because it was a formal style that went well with the dress and my veil but the day after the wedding he was asking me to take out all of the weave hair because it looked kinda crazy at the beach and amusement park that we went to right after the wedding

 

[CurliDiva]

This is a speical day for BOTH of you- I would respect his wishes and forget the weave!erplexed

Maybe you could look thru a hair magazine together so that he can point out some hair styles that he likes.

 

[lana]

Hmm, I think this is a cute post and congratulations on your wedding. I think you should listen to your soon to be husband on this one. He's going to remember that day forever so it's important to him to remember you the way you are.

My bf asked me already (before proposing) to please plan to wear my hair down for our wedding. (laughs) I was like "?, okay". But that's because I know he's about to propose. (laughs)

He hates braids, twists, and doesn't like noticeable weaves. He actually frowned when he saw me after being long distance for three months because he thought the back of my hair was a weave. I assured him that all glory goes to God and protein shakes - it was really my hair!

 

[omnipadme]

My man's against it as well. He cringes at the thought of weaves/braids/anything like that. He's constantly telling me how he doesn't like that and how "men don't like that stuff at all." I don't like it either, my scalp is too sensitive for all that stuff. I get a headache with wigs.

 

[Cheleigh]

I recently heard that "experts" suggest that you style your hair on your wedding as close as possible to how you normally style it. I think they suggest that to avoid that "marrying a stranger" look. We all want to look special on our big day--it's a (hopefully) once in a lifetime opportunity. At the same time, we want to look back on the day and see "us," not some made-up, shellacked woman who bears little resemblance to our normal day to day.

I guess it's important to remember that on our wedding day we're brides, not models or prom queens. There's a subtle difference, but one nonetheless.

Having said all that, I think the bride should do what will make her feel most comfortable on her day.

 

[texasqt]

Updos don't have to to be gelled and frozen. (Actually I hate those myself) Does he like nice sexy soft updos?

Maybe. He said he likes it around the face as opposed to pulled back, so maybe having the back pinned up and soft curls around the face won't be a problem. I have 3 weeks to figure this out myself. I wish I had 68 days like tthreat08! AND I WISH I HAD HER HAIR!!!

 

[tthreat08]

It's funny you posted this! I had a similar discussion with my fiancee this weekend and his comment regarding up-dos was "that's not natural, having your hair frozen on your head like a helmet." He's the complete opposite. He prefers the hair down and soft and flowing - didn't say much about the length or whether it had to be real/fake though. He just said he likes me

LOL! Yeah, I feel him on the frozen helmet head thing. My hair will be in soft loose ringlets that are pinned up.

 

[tthreat08]

Threat:

Now I know all the ladies gave you advice on getting a weave. I did not want to say anything but I will now.

I am so against a weave. I rather wear a bun or ponytail attachment if I was you. First, a weave may cause you some damage and second not to be naughty but it is your wedding. I think your man would want to get romantic and put his hands through your hair.

I know my man loves putting his hands in my hair. I am sure he would be upset if we were getting romantic and he was feeling tracks

I have always believed in what you see is what you get and that you work what you got.

Maybe the ladies have better answers for you but I would not do the weave. I am on your man side about this one.

I appreciate your honesty. I do see his point as well as yours.

 

[tthreat08]

Threat:

Now I know all the ladies gave you advice on getting a weave. I did not want to say anything but I will now.

I am so against a weave. I rather wear a bun or ponytail attachment if I was you. First, a weave may cause you some damage and second not to be naughty but it is your wedding. I think your man would want to get romantic and put his hands through your hair.

I know my man loves putting his hands in my hair. I am sure he would be upset if we were getting romantic and he was feeling tracks

I have always believed in what you see is what you get and that you work what you got.

Maybe the ladies have better answers for you but I would not do the weave. I am on your man side about this one.

I appreciate your honesty. I do see his point as well as yours. And yeah...I kindla like han in hair action too.

 

[Empress Yahudah]

Most men I know dont like weaves they see it as being "fake" ..they wanna be able to touch ur hair and play with it .....just like most men prefer woman not wearing lots of make-up they want to see who u realy are....some may put up with it if they have to but dont like it ive been told

 

[tthreat08]

tell him to suck it up and let ou enjoy yourself ..

I do really think that it would be okay if I went ahead and did it....HOWEVER, it's a catch 22....He says he just doesn't like weaves....He's never seen me in one....and I REALLY want that day to be as worry free as possible. I would be worried that he would find it unattractive...and ultimately I'm presenting myself in all my splendor and fabulousness! So with that in mind, and my gown design, I do think an updo is the best option...and I won't be worried about frizz as much with this style option. Honeymoon hair will just be curly and au natural!

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

Congrats on getting married!!!



My FI HATES weaves, I honestly think if I showed to our wedding with a weave he would have a fit. So instead I am hiding hair/baggying/popping biotin/eating protein in order to gain a few inches before the big day.

 

[tthreat08]

Congratulations and May God bless you on your wedding. When we got married my now DH didn't care much about the details of our wedding, he was supportive though. He did have very few requests though, one of which was that I look as close to myself as possible: no fake nails, no obvious makeup, no weaves. and he didn't want to see me on the day of the wedding before we got married (no picture taking before).


I was more than happy to give him this. I took it as a huge compliment. He likes me the way I am. I think men getting married are going through a lot of change in their life and it comes to a head on the wedding day. It is nice to have their best friend bride look recognizable amongst the parade of flowers and tuxes and fluff and drama that goes on throughout the day.


You are his focal point, on that day and the rest of your life. Let him have his wish with no bickering or itching with a b.


I wore my hair in his favorite hairstyle (3 day old rollerset all down, looking curlywavy), I didn't even need a hairstylist (just a lot of hairspray to keep it looking that way)

Okay, so why am I at work crying like a baby??? I'm such the cliche bride-to-be...ALL emotional. This is so nice. Thank you.

 

[tthreat08]

Maybe. He said he likes it around the face as opposed to pulled back, so maybe having the back pinned up and soft curls around the face won't be a problem. I have 3 weeks to figure this out myself. I wish I had 68 days like tthreat08! AND I WISH I HAD HER HAIR!!!

Awwww thanks! You've got some nice hair yourself missy!

 

[turnergirl]

My Hubby hates weave but it is only because his sister wore it so often that his mom pulls out her camera whenever she wears her real hair. My hubby was like that about everything with our wedding. We attended several weddings the year before we were married and saw women with weaves down to their behind and more make up than the law should allow. The heavy MAC face jobs that are really for photgraphy. Anyway, he begged me not to do this citing his desire to marry the woman he fell in love with not a "perverted drag queen version" He begged me not to get eye lashes and all that stuff.

As much as I wanted to do it up, I realized that I wanted to look like myself in the pics, so I was pretty much natural. My hair was straightened but that was something I did to my hair regularly then.

 

[GodsPromises]

Yes I married one. He hates weaves and wigs. Oh lord does he hate wigs. I didn't realize how bad until I wore one on my wedding day. He smiled and was happy of course but later on he was like " Now get rid of that thing". Now I can wear falls and ponytails and he won't say anything, he's not jumping for joy about it but they can pass.

Now not only is my dh like this but so is that boy in my siggy. He hate fake hair of any kind. "Horse" hair is what he calls it.

 

[cmw45]

My dh lets me do anything I want to my hair. (Like he could really stop me.) I have wearing a weave for a little over a year and a half. I have my natural hair down until I get my last weave at the end of the month. My hair is all over my head in its raw Thing 1 & 2, heat miser and Don King role. He keeps his hands in my hair. Now I make him put coconut or emu oil on his hands before he strokes my hair and he loves it.

I guess I am just realizing that he wasn't too happy with weave. He like to play in my natural hair and call me Chocolate Thunder. (knickname of Thing 1 or 2 in the cat in the hat.) Yeah, I think he is a weave snob.

This is really sweet. This past weekend, it too me over three hours to detangle my stretched shoulder 4a thick length hair. I was complaining to a friend and she said, "Maybe you should go back to relaxers now that you know how to take better care of your hair?" I was like..."hmmmmmm..."

Later as my boyfriend and I were walking away from a party, he was mentioning an member of another sorority who he described as having pretty long straight hair. Jokingly (or at least mostly), I asked, "Would you like it if I straighted my hair so that I could have long straight hair too?" He quickly looked at me and said, "No, I would really rather that you didn't do that. I really like your culry hair." *sighs*

 

[Danene5]

My man can't stand a weave. He claims he can tell the difference. 6 months ago I got a sew in the same length as my hair just to make it fuller because I have fine hair. And the topic of weave came up. He began to pull my hair, and said " I was just checking to see if it is real" and it wasn't. So he won't be able to tell if it looks natural. I would suggest just getting it the same lenght as your natural hair just fuller.