spinoff: dark skin women with long hair are

[Curlee_lurker]

i've once said that if your hair is in the 3s, then it's easier to grow, IMO. i can't prove that cause i don't have that type of hair.

eh...I'd say maybe easier to retain length. My hair doesn't grow any faster than anyone else in my family or in my circle of friends.

 

[Eiano]

but i have NEVER heard of light skinned girls' hair is expected to be long and you look exotic, or crazy, if you're dark and your hair is long.

but, whatever makes you feel better i guess...

i DO think there are negative stereotypes with being dark skin in certain neighborhoods.

additionally, i think it's kind of insulting to the light women on this board that have fought long and hard to have healthy hair. to suggest that it goes goes along with being light is dismissive. IMveryHO.

So you've really never heard that a dark girl with hair past her shoulders is rarely seen? Wow. I hear this all the time... and if you feel differently about that, it's alright... we're probably from different neighborhoods. I see more women with lighter skin with longer hair than darker women with longer hair. Why? I don't know... like I said, maybe it's just my neighborhood. I don't think that anyone who replied to the OP in the thread is trying to make themselves feel better.

Why is it that the negative stereotypes are easier to comprehend, but the ones that are in some backwards way complimentary is supposedly made up in the minds of those with dark skin to make themselves feel better?

This thread doesn't take away from lighter skinned females. Don't take offense to it, we are all beautiful.... 'blueblack' to 'lightbright'

I'm trying to understand your post here, I am not in anyway trying to attack you.

 

[MizaniMami]

So you've really never heard that a dark girl with hair past her shoulders is rarely seen? Wow. I hear this all the time... and if you feel differently about that, it's alright... we're probably from different neighborhoods. I see more women with lighter skin with longer hair than darker women with longer hair. Why? I don't know... like I said, maybe it's just my neighborhood. I don't think that anyone who replied to the OP in the thread is trying to make themselves feel better.

Why is it that the negative stereotypes are easier to comprehend, but the ones that are in some backwards way complimentary is supposedly made up in the minds of those with dark skin to make themselves feel better?

This thread doesn't take away from lighter skinned females. Don't take offense to it, we are all beautiful.... 'blueblack' to 'lightbright'

I'm trying to understand your post here, I am not in anyway trying to attack you.

Some people probably never open themselves up to hearing or feeling things like this.

This isn't the case with me personally, but just thought I would offer some insight to the other side.

 

[*Happily Me*]

So you've really never heard that a dark girl with hair past her shoulders is rarely seen? Wow. I hear this all the time... and if you feel differently about that, it's alright... we're probably from different neighborhoods. I see more women with lighter skin with longer hair than darker women with longer hair. Why? I don't know... like I said, maybe it's just my neighborhood. I don't think that anyone who replied to the OP in the thread is trying to make themselves feel better.

Why is it that the negative stereotypes are easier to comprehend, but the ones that are in some backwards way complimentary is supposedly made up in the minds of those with dark skin to make themselves feel better?

This thread doesn't take away from lighter skinned females. Don't take offense to it, we are all beautiful.... 'blueblack' to 'lightbright'

I'm trying to understand your post here, I am not in anyway trying to attack you.

IMO when your light skin with long hair it's the norm.
It's like it's no surprise. Your suppose to be the black women with the long hair. When your a dark skin women with long hair Exotic.
Dark skin women are suppose to have the short hair.

I think in a way that's a good thing because as a dark skin woman it make you stand out more when you have long hair.this is why i said whatever makes you feel better

no, eiano, i've never heard anyone say that it was unusual for a dark girl to have long hair. i grew up in Harlem, and i've heard a lot of ish.

i personally have thought that it was unnusual for a type of hair to be long, like type 4 a b hair. this was before LHCF, of course.

 

[Dannygirl]

no, eiano, i've never heard anyone say that it was unusual for a dark girl to have long hair. i grew up in Harlem, and i've heard a lot of ish.

i personally have thought that it was unnusual for a type of hair to be long, like type 4 a b hair. this was before LHCF, of course.

oh so very much agreed... cause ive seen dark skin woman with curly 3c hair and i just stare like ...dang thats alotta hair... pretty to

 

[dynamic1]

ii've once said that if your hair is in the 3s, then it's easier to grow, IMO. i can't prove that cause i don't have that type of hair.

Well, two of my sisters have hair in the 2a-3a range; it is very difficult for them to retain length. In fact, one of my other sisters and I have textures in the 3b-4a range and we retain length better. I think we have courser strands and this may be a factor. The first two have very fine strands and thinner hair in general. While the last sister and I have thicker hair and primarily coarse strands. Other contributing factors to our length are - better nutrition and exercise habits, and less manipulation. Nevertheless, based on the stereotypes in this thread, most people probably attribute our length to our lighter complexion, right? (sarcasm).

In my city, it was not cool to have long hair, because it meant you didn’t get to go to the salon. Our hair wars were about to whom had the nicest or sharpest cut and style belonged. I do not recall any length issues no matter what the complexion. It wasn’t until after college and living in the south that I realized how serious this hair thing was. Well, not until I started to grow my hair long and then later decided to stop getting a relaxer did I realize “it can’t be just hair.”

Everyone’s experience is their reality, and it is okay to have differing opinions. However, it bears repeating most of us have the same experience, regardless of complexion. Maybe the statements are different, but still of a similar vain. What is the difference between, “you have long hair for a dark skinned girl” and “Your hair is only long because your light”? Moreover, no matter what the complexion I think some of us have heard the infamous, “people only think she’s pretty because she has long hair”

What it boils down to is, “people say stupid things”



On a side note: What the heck do people mean by exotic? I guess that is another thread entirely.

Disclaimer: I don’t hold much stock in Andre’s hair typing system; it was just useful illustration because most people understand it.
Dysylla your hair is beautiful.

 

[sareca]

I've actually never seen a very dark-skinned woman with long (BSL) hair. Well, except my best friend who is Kenyan, but when she moved to the States she started getting relaxers and it's only about 2 inches long now.

ETA: But secretly I am more impressed when darker-skinned sistas have long hair. *ducks and waits for people to throw things*

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

So you've really never heard that a dark girl with hair past her shoulders is rarely seen? Wow. I hear this all the time... and if you feel differently about that, it's alright... we're probably from different neighborhoods. I see more women with lighter skin with longer hair than darker women with longer hair. Why? I don't know... like I said, maybe it's just my neighborhood. I don't think that anyone who replied to the OP in the thread is trying to make themselves feel better.

Why is it that the negative stereotypes are easier to comprehend, but the ones that are in some backwards way complimentary is supposedly made up in the minds of those with dark skin to make themselves feel better?

This thread doesn't take away from lighter skinned females. Don't take offense to it, we are all beautiful.... 'blueblack' to 'lightbright'

I'm trying to understand your post here, I am not in anyway trying to attack you.

Spot on Eiano,

 

[Wishin4BSL]

I think that everyone expects people with light skin to have long hair, but I think that when I have long hair, I'll look gorgeous even if I am light skinned. I think that's a borderline racist comment.

I didn't write that! My friend did! Although I am light skinned. Anyways, sorry ladies! Well my opinion is that I don't like the fact that it's assumed that light-skinned women with long hair is the "norm." I think it's a stereotype because I can speak for many light skinned women who don't (didn't) have long hair and never had it in their lives. I think it's great when any black women have long hair, regardless of their complexion. I don't think one color black person looks better than another. I think they're all gorgeous. I think that's what my friend was trying to say in that post. She can be a bit harsh at times. I don't think she meant racist, I think she meant stereotypical. Wait! She's now agreeing with me! lol

 

[Priss Pot]

Give Plove a break. I understand where she's coming from, even though it's sad that that mentality has been instilled (sp?) into the minds of Black people. You have to realize that on LHCF, we know that most of the myths of Black hair is untrue...BUT, people who have no clue of what a hair board is, they're still gonna believe those myths; therefore, it will be shocking to see a Black person (or just a dark-skinned person) with long hair, because they thought that it was impossible. We can't assume that everyone outside of LHCF knows everything that we know about hair.

 

[Nightingale]

Well, in my neck of the woods, many people associate long hair with "good hair" which is associated with mixed racial heritage. Lighter complexions are linked to racial mixture and a higher chance of having "good hair" and possibly long hair. So maybe some people view a darker skinned girl with long hair as unusual because they do not link dark skin with racial mixture or long lengths. We all know that this is a very simplistic and ignorant view of the world, but that's the way it is with some people. They can't believe that someone who apparently does not have racial mixture in their family can have long hair. Whether we want to admit is or not, these types of views are deeply seeded in our society. This may not be everyone's experience, but these ignorant attitudes are definitely out there.

As a dark skinned girl, I never cease to be amazed at the comments I get from hair dressers when they see my natural texture. They usually say--"oh, your hair is not bad at all." Huh?! What's bad hair and why do they expect me to have it?

exactly! most people think, light skin=mixed race=good hair. My hair was never really short or damaged, but not what i considered long, BSL at one point, but normally kept around APL. People always asked me where I was from or if I was mixed. My friend with BSL hair and light skin use to get upset because people assumed she was mixed. They never even asked. She was "normal" and I was "different".

 

[Sharpened]

Back in the 80's, being dark-skinned and have long hair was not uncommon in my neck of the woods. What was rare was anyone with long, relaxed hair, outside of the curl.

 

[wyldcurlz]

i think we need to get out of the "good hair/bad hair" phase. i thought that ended with the book andre talks hair. all hair can be good hair with proper care. now that i got that off my chest, i have another rant...i think something like 85-90% of black americans are of mixed heritage anyway...so how does that explain the dark skin, light skin, good hair, bad hair phenomenon? i'm so happy places like lhcf exist to debunk the old myths & ways of thinking. there was a time, not so long ago, when people (black people) thought that black folk couldn't grow long hair! hopefully, by the time our daughters and granddaughters are old enough, these thoughts won't even exist. it'll just be healthy hair or unhealthy hair, short hair or long hair and that's it.

 

[*Happily Me*]

Give Plove a break. I understand where she's coming from, even though it's sad that that mentality has been instilled (sp?) into the minds of Black people. You have to realize that on LHCF, we know that most of the myths of Black hair is untrue...BUT, people who have no clue of what a hair board is, they're still gonna believe those myths; therefore, it will be shocking to see a Black person (or just a dark-skinned person) with long hair, because they thought that it was impossible. We can't assume that everyone outside of LHCF knows everything that we know about hair.

that's why i'm confused as hell about this thread. the OP is on this board yet, she believes this...

i can see her saying she USED to believe this crap. we do all believe that this is crap right? i mean, even if you've heard this before, surely coming to LHCF has proved that that's BS???. the OP said "IMO when your light skin with long hair it's the norm". wha????? these are her words.

whateva

anyway, i'm exiting this thread and getting a drink.

 

[sareca]

You guys, change doesn't happen overnight. It's a process. Right?

 

[Curlee_lurker]

Some people probably never open themselves up to hearing or feeling things like this.

I think it could just be some people are fighting their own battles in life and can't be bothered with other people's.

I was shocked just last year to find out that some ignorant people think light skin is superior to darker skin. I grew up in a family with nothing but chocolate people. And to them and to me, darker was better. I was tormented through school for being "piss colored" and for "thinking" I was white. While I'm listening to all this mess I didn't take the time out to hear those same bullies bullying someone for being darker.

Maybe I'm wrong, but this could be why someone wouldn't know about this stereotype.

It reminds me of that one thread about Nicole Ritchie where thin (I assume) people were talking about how people have the audacity to come up to them and say mean things about their thinness and no one does it to fat people. I personally thought it was the other way around, because I obviously have never felt what it was like to be underweight (and they obviously never paid attention to how people say whatever to and treat overweight people however they see fit to shame them into becoming thin). I'm assuming this may be one of those situations.

 

[plove]

that's why i'm confused as hell about this thread. the OP is on this board yet, she believes this...

i can see her saying she USED to believe this crap. we do all believe that this is crap right? i mean, even if you've heard this before, surely coming to LHCF has proved that that's BS???. the OP said "IMO when your light skin with long hair it's the norm". wha????? these are her words.

whateva

anyway, i'm exiting this thread and getting a drink.

If all LHCF are so opened minded and are supportive to enlighten each other, why are you/other dismissing my feelings and the feeling of other dark skinned LHCFer. If I don't agree with someone I try to understand WHY they feel that way. I don't dismiss their feeling because it's not how I feel.

I'm on my way to get a drink too. lol

 

[Priss Pot]

Let's all sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya......

 

[Dannygirl]

Let's all sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya......

*sits with you and sings*.. You know i like your train of thought....

 

[KiniKakes]

i'm not dark, i'm brown. sometimes lighter in the winter.

i get "are you dominican?" questions too. if you're a BLACK girl of ANY hue, it may be a suprise to people when your hair is longish. Dark skinned girls don't own that comment.

to me, it is the same as saying "you're cute for a dark girl"



IMHO

I agree whole-heartedly w/this comment!!!

 

[1god1]

i get asked if my hair is a weave....

white folks seem amazed that my hair is so "long"...

i've once said that if your hair is in the 3s, then it's easier to grow, IMO. i can't prove that cause i don't have that type of hair.
but i have NEVER heard of light skinned girls' hair is expected to be long and you look exotic, or crazy, if you're dark and your hair is long.

but, whatever makes you feel better i guess...

i DO think there are negative stereotypes with being dark skin in certain neighborhoods. i've posted before that my best friend growing up was a beautfiul chocolate sister. shape to die for, articulate, pretty thick hair, beautiul face. i would have traded with her in a second (not anymore, i love myself too much now). but, she was the bomb!

she frequently heard "you're cute for a dark girl". that ish used to hurt me

but i have NEVER heard of what this thread addresses. NEVER. i think it's made up.

additionally, i think it's kind of insulting to the light women on this board that have fought long and hard to have healthy hair. to suggest that it goes goes along with being light is dismissive. IMveryHO.

I've read about this issue on other boards...it's not made up. What the original poster is talking about is just a stereotype. It is still an issue...to automatically assume a dark-skinned woman with long hair has a weave...not to say everyone has this experience, but it's out there.

 

[lala]

Plove, I'd like to think that I have bouts of open-mindedness. Feel free to vent if something is on your heart, but don’t feel as if your skin tone puts you in some particular category...and don't let anyone put you in a particular category (unless that's where you want to be). When I look at you, I don’t see a dark skinned sister…I see a LHCF member. I don’t know you personally, so that’s all that I can contribute to your identity.

Fortunately for me…I was not raised to think in terms of light and dark...and I still don't. What we have to understand is that we're all in this together and we are experiencing the same thing. We're the same...we're women...no matter the complexion, hair texture, length or whatever. We can prove to the world that we are beautiful…but we have to believe it ourselves first.

 

[chica_canella]

I said I would never talk about race or anything pertaining to race but here I go.......


I think that most people (ignorant individuals) believe that dark skin women can't have "long" hair. How sad. Anywho, the only women I've ever known in my life were dark skin women with BSL or mid-back length hair. Not saying that I've never seen any lighter skin black women with long hair but it's always been darker skin women IMO, wheter Black, Latina or Indian.

Do I think a darker skin black women or Latina with long hair is exptic? No. It's nothing unusual. Just a woman with long hair, period.

I think women with very long lenghts like midback and waistlength regardless of their race is exotic in itself.

 

[chica_canella]

Plove, I'd like to think that I have bouts of open-mindedness. Feel free to vent if something is on your heart, but don’t feel as if your skin tone puts you in some particular category...and don't let anyone put you in a particular category (unless that's where you want to be). When I look at you, I don’t see a dark skinned sister…I see a LHCF member. I don’t know you personally, so that’s all that I can contribute to your identity.

Fortunately for me…I was not raised to think in terms of light and dark...and I still don't. What we have to understand is that we're all in this together and we are experiencing the same thing. We're the same...we're women...no matter the complexion, hair texture, length or whatever. We can prove to the world that we are beautiful…but we have to believe it ourselves first.

I was not raised to think this way either but as we know the world loves to put labels on people.

My granny has a big problem with complexion because she grew up in the Southern states of America. Her grandfather came straight from Africa not as a slave but to work as a human being.

Anyway, back in the south they were really color struck and my granny is "darker" complected but has 3a hair so she used that as leverage to have more friends. It was like, "Your not light-bright but you have long hair so we accept you." The lighter-skinned girls were automatically accepted regardless of their hair length but the darker skined girls had to be rich or have long hair. It's really sad that this continues today.

 

[divya]

This topic is quite familiar in my experience. I am dark skin with long hair that is naturally curly/wavy. Growing up, It was strange and often irritating to me that people found my combination of hair and complexion to be so exotic or so out of the ordinary. Some of the opposite sex who usually like light skin girls would view me as the exception and some even would vocalize it. My family is from Trinidad so people like me are normal there. Of course, here in the U.S. it’s often different/viewed differently. Now as an adult, it's less of an issue probably for a number of reasons and then I’ve just gotten more used to it…

 

[XXXtacy]

Haven't read all of the post but decided I would speak on my experiences...


My best friend and her sister were chocolate with this amazingly long thick hair. When it was permed, their hair looked like silk. Whenever we went out, the women would make jokes and comments about their 'weaves"/"wigs" and trying to look white. I had to stop many of the women from running their fingers through their hair. People did not believe they had that type of hair. I asked one of the women because I became frustrated, why did she assume my girlfriend had a weave? She told me point blank, Dark skinned women should have short hair not long hair. In the middle of a currency exchange in Chicago, she said this and everybody looked in agreement. I didn't know what to say. Until someone in the place said Unless she got some indian in her family. Everybody seemed to accept that answer.

People will believe what they want to believe. What comes out of their mouth is their own ignorance. Its best to develop yourself and bump the naysayers. Because there will always be some.

 

[cocoberry10]

Haven't read all of the post but decided I would speak on my experiences...


My best friend and her sister were chocolate with this amazingly long thick hair. When it was permed, their hair looked like silk. Whenever we went out, the women would make jokes and comments about their 'weaves"/"wigs" and trying to look white. I had to stop many of the women from running their fingers through their hair. People did not believe they had that type of hair. I asked one of the women because I became frustrated, why did she assume my girlfriend had a weave? She told me point blank, Dark skinned women should have short hair not long hair. In the middle of a currency exchange in Chicago, she said this and everybody looked in agreement. I didn't know what to say. Until someone in the place said Unless she got some indian in her family. Everybody seemed to accept that answer.

People will believe what they want to believe. What comes out of their mouth is their own ignorance. Its best to develop yourself and bump the naysayers. Because there will always be some.

I completely agree. I attended an HBCU and there were many beautiful Black women of all different shades with all different hair textures and lengths. Blue-Black women with silky, waistlength hair, cream complected women with 4B blonde hair and everything in between. The older I get, the more I realize that people will believe what they want. You have to love yourself and to the haters, say "get lost."

I also think things are changing SLOWLY. When we were young, you never saw as many Black women of different hues/complexions/hair styles in the media. I'm not saying it's great, but at least little girls today see models, actresses, singers w/natural hair, dark skin, full figured. We've got miles to go before we sleep, but we didn't have Alek Wek or Monique or Beyonce or Kelly Rowland or Oprah or Jada Pinkett or anyone I didn't name (Carols Daughter). They do. Hopefully this will make young girls today a little more confident.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

The funny thing is.... I'm Indian. Tsalagi/Cherokee descent.... and my hurr is just now reaching sl/apl. It's fine and 4a! THE IRONYYYYY!!! hehe I love my grass yall. It's the healthiest it's ever been thanks to this board.


I've had people come up to me at a powwow and say (ofcourse they didn't realize that my hair was relaxed) some of the dumbest stuff like "I knew you were Indian because you got that good hair! It's so shiny!!!" lmao I just looked at them and said uhhhh thanks? and kept it moving. I always thought it was a little funny/disturbing to read about random weave checks until I started getting them. Always from men though. They'll just reach out and stroke my hair. It's creepy. Especially when a b-line is made for your scalp. I just started bobbing and weaving.... Sorry, I'm ramblin....

Anyways, there are so many beautiful women here that are such an inspiration. I agree with lala that we're experiencing the same things.... maybe to different degrees... but the same things none the less.

 

[LittleMissScientist]

This thread is just WOW. "Exotic" is not something that I think any woman should aspire to be seen as, or perceive as a compliment because more likely than not, the speaker is coming from a place of ignorance.

He or she simply does not know enough about the vast, incredible number of combinations of skin tone and hair texture that are present throughout the African Diaspora to realize that the black woman in question is not an anomaly.

To be clear, the world over: dark skin, long hair = common. Light skin, long hair = common.

The end.

 

[eyunka]

My hair is no where near the length I see on this board but my husband's relatives have ask if I have a weave and has actually felt my hair to see if I was telling the truth.

All I could do was SMH.....